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axolotl farmer posted:EMT-ing as the mouse has got to be a fireable offense. For the true story version, I know someone who took their little girl to the first aid station because she bonked her head in one of the lines by swinging on a divider chain. Mickey stopped in for a moment on his way into/out of the photo ops to cheer up the kids 
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Mar 3, 2015 18:58
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I have been thinking about the NotAlwaysRight etc. STDH's. Given that part, if not most, of the stilted dialogue and writing style is due to their rewriting of the original submitted story, I was wondering why do they do it? Is it to standardize all teh stories? Is it because they legitimately think it makes the protagonists look good? Or is it because they honestly have no idea how hu-mon beings interact with one another?
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Mar 4, 2015 00:29
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English major begging for an excuse to feel valid. I would think a cheap ploy to secure the copyright due to it being a derivative work, but I'm sure posters already sign away their rights when submitting
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Mar 4, 2015 00:32
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BrigadierSensible posted:I have been thinking about the NotAlwaysRight etc. STDH's. Given that part, if not most, of the stilted dialogue and writing style is due to their rewriting of the original submitted story, I was wondering why do they do it? None of those things are mutually exclusive.
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Mar 4, 2015 01:40
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quote:So a regular day at a certain American Retail Store. I press a button to notify the next customer to come up. She comes up with a small bag of chips and I ring it up.
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Mar 5, 2015 04:37
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Yes, we have to throw away a customer's Bible if she lends it to an employee, that's definitely a store policy that really exists in the real world
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Mar 5, 2015 04:59
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YouTube comment on "Do you hear the people sing"quote:A couple years ago, my hometown finaly had the right to have an annual LBGT pride festival in the park (the closest festival was 50+ miles away in Chicago) The LBGT community was allowed to use the park space, but when we had our parade the town church came together and protested with hateful sighns, shouts, and slurs. As we began to march, one young man began to sing this song at the top of his lungs, slowly, more and more people began to chime in, myself included. I was amazed how many knew this song and the effect it had. We were belting "Do You Hear The People Sing" so pridefuly that the religious nuts slowly began to scatter away. I cried with joy that day, and now everytime I hear this song. It just goes to show how powerful this music truly is <3
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Mar 5, 2015 05:21
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I can believe the story just a bit more than I can believe a perfectly articulate comment with no grammatical or spelling errors coming from Youtube.
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Mar 5, 2015 05:30
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Lblitzer posted:I can believe the story just a bit more than I can believe a perfectly articulate comment with no grammatical or spelling errors coming from Youtube. FrozenVent posted:
They were so close.
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Mar 5, 2015 06:01
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If it's not bohemian rhapsody, it's always something from Les Mis. What is it about that that attracts such strange people? Even if it were true and people ~spontaneously~ broke out in song, it probably wasn't "the power of this music" that drove the people away - they probably were just getting tired of hearing a bunch of people screeching the lyrics to a song most people have never heard.
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Mar 5, 2015 06:54
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I'm totally tolerant of all religions guys. *writes a hilariously bad and boring story about owning a bizarre caricature of a christian customer that totally doesn't reflect my judgmental attitude* VVVe: axolotl farmer posted:I was mid-bite of my fish sandwich when Come on, nobody orders the filet-o-fish, you've gotta try harder than that, guy 
Noyemi K has a new favorite as of 07:49 on Mar 5, 2015 |
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Mar 5, 2015 07:26
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Being male sucks sometimes During lunch today on recess from jury duty I went to a nearby McDonald's to eat since it was within walking distance. It's was a larger franchise with a Play Place(TM). I generally prefer to eat in those areas during school hours since they tend to be relatively deserted and less noisy. While I was eating, a mother brought her 4-5 year old daughter into the area to play while she went to order their food. I don't think she saw me as I was sitting at a side table, slightly obstructed by a trash bin. The little girl immediately commenced climbing and playing which brought a smile to my face. Her laughter and excitement was a welcome relief after hours of boring testimony and deposition for a truly mundane civil litigation trial. I was mid-bite of my fish sandwich when the little girl fell hard and started bawling. My parental instincts kicked in (two boys, 12 and 7), and without even thinking I jumped up and ran to her to make sure she was okay. I was cooing and making soothing noises, telling her she was going to be okay while simultaneously looking for cuts, scrapes or potential broken bones. Again without thinking, after I saw she was physically unharmed, I hugged her tight and picked her up to comfort her. She was simply a bit shaken and frightened because of the fall. She did not seem afraid of me at all, and in fact hugged me back as tightly as I was hugging her. Just then, her mother comes in and screams at me to put her daughter down "right loving now, pervert!" I immediately start trying to tell the mother about her daughters fall as I am handing the little girl over to her. I am trying to get it out that the girl is okay, just a little shaken up, but the mother has gone ballistic, and I am slowly realizing how this situation must seem to her. I felt my face immediately flush red with shame although I know I did nothing wrong. Insult to injury is added when the Manager and a few crew members rush in behind the still screaming mother and inform me that I need to leave or the police will be called. I look in their faces and see condemnation, judgment, disgust.... to them I am a monster, a pedophile about to hurt a little girl. Still in the grip of a feeling of shame I cannot overcome, I mumble some asinine apology and simply leave without even collecting my food. I hate the fact that as a man I cannot rush to the aid of a child in need without having to worry about how it might appear to others, but that is the sad truth of our society. A man expressing any interest in a child, not his own, is immediately viewed with hostility and distrust. Rationally, I know I did nothing wrong. The true fault lay with the mother for leaving her child unsupervised in a place where she might be injured. But all I can think about now is how quickly that feeling of shame washed over me. It was overpowering and almost immediate once my brain started processing the situation and how others must view it. I apologize for the long post, but I had to get this off my chest. I feel like a little piece of my soul died today.
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Mar 5, 2015 07:38
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I'm a woman and I love kids, but I would never hug a stranger's child without permission, even if the kid was hurt and crying. That's just weird, even if your intentions are good.
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Mar 5, 2015 07:51
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All I did was smell her hair a little bit and try to warn her that most guys wouldn't appreciate the delicate flower of her womanhood like I did, and then this crazy bitch comes out of nowhere!
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Mar 5, 2015 07:55
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Yeah...checking to see if they're OK? Fine. Picking them up and hugging a 5 year old while making weird baby noises? Not normal. Also for that matter regularly eating outside in the kid's playground area hiding behind a trashcan, and/or eating at mcdonalds often enough to have a strong preference like that either way, isn't normal either. The normal response would be to just go in and get the mother. Even if her bones were broken or she was cut or something, there's not really much you could do.
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Mar 5, 2015 07:57
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My pchem TA was Chinese. He barely spoke English. During labs, though, he'd use the little English he did know. So there'd be a long sentence in Chinese, followed by "Oh, poo poo!" Which brings us to quote:Stereotype Gripe Khazar-khum has a new favorite as of 09:11 on Mar 5, 2015 |
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Mar 5, 2015 08:54
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I didn't know that printer ink cost 100 dollars for a piece of paper, but according to Tumblr it does: quote:joshpeck: this person spent $100 on this application
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Mar 5, 2015 09:10
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Aw, dick it! I'm not laughing, [my name]! You're in the fast lane to losing your place at [Co**unity Co**ege]! e: heh. Pidmon posted:I didn't know that printer ink cost 100 dollars for a piece of paper, but according to Tumblr it does: 
monny has a new favorite as of 09:16 on Mar 5, 2015 |
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Mar 5, 2015 09:11
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I totally believe every single part of the creepy greasy guy fish filet story. I have never been more certain before that something happened and it was even much creepier in real life. I do not doubt at all that the manager and mom freaked the gently caress out and that the guy was screamed out of the McDonald's.
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Mar 5, 2015 09:16
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BrainDance posted:I totally believe every single part of the creepy greasy guy fish filet story. Right, I think it's pretty believable that it did happen, but the STDH is that they only freaked out on him solely because he was a male and not because what he was doing was inappropriate.
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Mar 5, 2015 09:32
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FrozenVent posted:YouTube comment on "Do you hear the people sing" How small is this town? There are fewer than three thousand people living in my hometown and we have five churches, not one "town church." And we definitely aren't big enough to host much of a Pride parade. Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 09:48 on Mar 5, 2015 |
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Mar 5, 2015 09:46
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But he was on break from JURY DUTY! That's like the most heinous job that society had to offer, and the fact that he didn't lie to get out of it means he's one of the Good Guys. And the kid was only like 5 which meant she was deliciously flat, it's not his fault that her rear end was the only place to grab to have leverage to pick her up
Sentient Data has a new favorite as of 12:23 on Mar 5, 2015 |
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Mar 5, 2015 12:19
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bringmyfishback posted:How small is this town? There are fewer than three thousand people living in my hometown and we have five churches, not one "town church." And we definitely aren't big enough to host much of a Pride parade. Out in Montana, there's a "town" near my folks that has 320 people and four churches and another that consists of a single paved road and it has two. Between these, there's another church and some kind of bible camp. And all these are within 14 miles of one another. They all also hate each other, which is hilarious.
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Mar 5, 2015 12:45
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Town an ex girlfriend of mine is from in SC has a tiny population, one stop sign, and one church. The members are almost all related, and the pastor is illiterate. 
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Mar 5, 2015 12:59
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Das Boo posted:Out in Montana, there's a "town" near my folks that has 320 people and four churches and another that consists of a single paved road and it has two. Between these, there's another church and some kind of bible camp. And all these are within 14 miles of one another. Emo Philips joke: I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me too! What denomination?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me too!” “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” I said, “Die heretic!” And I pushed him over.
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Mar 5, 2015 13:06
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axolotl farmer posted:Being male sucks sometimes You would honestly think he would re-write this to make him sound totally not creepy and gross. Unfortunately, he probably has, which is the scary part. I shuddered just reading this.
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Mar 5, 2015 14:08
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moerketid posted:You would honestly think he would re-write this to make him sound totally not creepy and gross. Unfortunately, he probably has, which is the scary part. I shuddered just reading this. When you take into account his submission from two days ago, "shuddering" becomes "literally shaking": http://imgur.com/JmdVHvS op posted:As a 6 time felon I've been ordered to appear for jury duty this morning...
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Mar 5, 2015 14:20
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I pressed and held a stranger's child against my body, and I'm the bad guy here??
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Mar 5, 2015 15:36
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You guys, he has two boys, 12 and 7! If you have ever fathered children, anything you do is not creepy because it's just parenting instinct!
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Mar 5, 2015 16:09
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It would make the creepy filet o fish story even creepier if there was any way it was true. Seriously, how do you commit 6 felonies in a short span of time without being in prison for a very very long time?
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Mar 5, 2015 16:26
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BrainDance posted:It would make the creepy filet o fish story even creepier if there was any way it was true. Drugs and being white and/or rich.
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Mar 5, 2015 16:27
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Pidmon posted:I didn't know that printer ink cost 100 dollars for a piece of paper, but according to Tumblr it does: Its not the ink dude, its an application fee. Did you never go to college? Definitely photo-shopped as gently caress though. canepazzo posted:When you take into account his submission from two days ago, "shuddering" becomes "literally shaking":  Why am I not surprised.
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Mar 5, 2015 16:31
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To be fair, he says he was a minor, so no jail time, and that they were non-violent and not drug related. So one can only assume as a 16 year old he was caught creeping in the bushes outside the elementary school 6 times.
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Mar 5, 2015 16:36
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axolotl farmer posted:Being male sucks sometimes A little piece of my soul died reading this horseshit. I'm a fairly unassuming-looking woman, and when I see a little kid fall down, I go "you okay, buddy?" and they leap up and say "yeah," and continue playing. At MOST. I kept expecting the author to write himself positively, but it kept getting grosser and grosser. What grown man walks over to a little girl he doesn't know, totally unsolicited, and inspects her body for injuries, and doesn't expect her parents to be weirded out by it?
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Mar 5, 2015 17:03
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Zaphod42 posted:Its not the ink dude, its an application fee. Did you never go to college? I think that was  Maggie Fletcher posted:A little piece of my soul died reading this horseshit. But sad little girls need to be held by adult male strangers!! It's his fatherly protective instinct kicking in!! The more I think about it the more creepy it becomes. Yeah, 5 year old me would have been mortified enough to be injured in public, let alone having some random rear end adult of either gender come over and start cradling me and "cooing" at me, what the gently caress. sweeperbravo has a new favorite as of 17:06 on Mar 5, 2015 |
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Mar 5, 2015 17:04
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If Creepy Dude were a woman and did the same thing, people would probably assume that she wanted to kidnap the child and raise her as her own, because bitches be baby-crazy.  So he'd be facing gender discrimination either way!
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Mar 5, 2015 17:15
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What's the thread title referring to?
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Mar 5, 2015 17:42
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Rap Music and Dope posted:What's the thread title referring to? To this dumb story, which was posted a while back (can't find the post right now): quote:I went in to lift today I didn't really wanna go to heavy I never really do when I'm on vacation I never seem to lift well. I was doing some hang snatches in this oly section in the corner of this gym keeping to myself when I here some guy talking to his friend about "that loving crossfit fagget" I let it go hey maybe he's not talking about me. I work up to a 100kg triple not shattering any world records just about body weight. After a little while it becomes evident I am the crossfit fagget and that this is the guy who's been a rear end in a top hat to my dad. I cranked my rear end in a top hat to 11 and began out assholing this guy. I tripled 110 in the hang snatch a huge pr for me. Next I started doing whatever that rear end in a top hat was doing. He started dead lifting so I I dead lifted he pulled 330 with straps and a belt and he was grunting and making a huge scene. I worked up to 450 for a beltless triple with a pause on the bottom of each huge pr (and honestly I thought it was 420 but I'm an idiot and accidentally loaded 450). His deadlift session abruptly stopped. I begn following him around doing whatever he did for the same rep scheme at higher weights, he started getting really frustrated. Finally he started doing some shrugs with DBS so I asked if I could work in and he said ok so I started doing db bench with them. When I got up he left had left the gym.
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Mar 5, 2015 17:50
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Lap-Lem posted:To be fair, he says he was a minor, so no jail time, and that they were non-violent and not drug related. So one can only assume as a 16 year old he was caught creeping in the bushes outside the elementary school 6 times. It says he was 18. The McDonald's guy deserved the reaction he got. You don't grab a stranger's kid. How on earth did he expect sympathy? ! Leon Einstein has a new favorite as of 18:17 on Mar 5, 2015 |
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Mar 5, 2015 18:06
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Yeah the only time you want to touch a stranger's kid is if you're stopping them from wandering into traffic or something.
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Mar 5, 2015 18:11
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