Writing & reporting in today's NFL: One extra-wide horse shit latte please

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Writing & reporting in today's NFL: One extra-wide horse shit latte please

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v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

Florio is such a loving horrendous writer

and as a former lawyer you'd think he'd be a good enough writer not to end that useless story with libel against Mike Kensil

# ? Feb 25, 2015 16:19

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# ? May 13, 2024 05:43

Rasczak: Mar 30, 2005

How has Florio not won douche of the year yet, he's even worse than Jeff Ireland

# ? Feb 25, 2015 16:35

Thaddius the Large: Jul 5, 2006; It's in the five-hole!

Rasczak posted:

How has Florio not won douche of the year yet, he's even worse than Jeff Ireland

To paraphrase one of my former clinical supervisors, after beating your head against a brick wall every day for years, it's a lot less noticeable than an infrequent slap to the face.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 17:37

Real Name Grover: Feb 13, 2002; Like corn on the cob; Fan of Britches

Ivan Maisel's son is missing in Upstate NY

quote:

The son of ESPN.com senior writer Ivan Maisel has been missing since Sunday evening. Below is ESPN�s statement as well as a link to the statement from the Maisel family.

�Our thoughts are with the Maisel family as they face this heartbreaking and emotional situation. Ivan is a caring and respected member of the ESPN family and we are hopeful that more information comes to light and good news lies ahead.�

# ? Feb 26, 2015 00:26

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Real Name Grover posted:

Ivan Maisel's son is missing in Upstate NY

The article didn't say anything, but from what I gathered in the police statement the kid is at least college aged. At first I thought it was a young child who was presumed kidnapped. Probably a suicide or else lost in the woods.

edit

VVVV
Sorry, I didn't major in nameology :jerkbag:

Chichevache fucked around with this message at 06:08 on Feb 26, 2015

# ? Feb 26, 2015 01:40

Real Name Grover: Feb 13, 2002; Like corn on the cob; Fan of Britches

Chichevache posted:

The article

Press release from employer =! article

Here's an actual report: http://www.democratandchronicle.com/story/news/2015/02/25/missing-max-maisel-family-asks-help/24021665/

quote:

Against darkened skies and frozen patches of Lake Ontario, the family of missing third-year Rochester Institute of Technology student Max Maisel asked for the public's help in finding him.

Maisel's vehicle was located Monday near Charlotte Pier by police. He was last seen Sunday leaving the Perkins Green Apartment Complex on RIT's Henrietta campus.

"We're scared and we're heartbroken. That's why we're asking for help," said Ivan Masiel, Max's father, at a news conference Wednesday at the Charlotte pier. He described his son as quiet with a dry sense of humor who loved photography. The family asked anyone who may have seen him to call 911.

"The water calmed him," said Meg Murray, Max Maisel's mother. "This pier is his favorite place."

Ivan Maisel, a senior writer for ESPN.com, said his family has been coming to the park every summer since 1999.

"We don't know where Max is and that's hard to deal with," Ivan Maisel said. The family is trying to reconstruct his movements from when he left his apartment. They know he didn't take his cellphone or camera equipment, but they said that was not unusual.

"It's really hard not knowing where he is," Murray said.

Rochester police are "trying to develop a strategy to attack the issue of searching the water," Rochester Police Investigator Frank Camp said.

"Obviously, our heart goes out to Max's family," Camp said. "We're working against the elements. We're doing everything we can."

ESPN officials released a statement that said, "Our thoughts are with the Maisel family as they face this heartbreaking and emotional situation. Ivan is a caring and respected member of the ESPN family and we are hopeful that more information comes to light and good news lies ahead."

# ? Feb 26, 2015 04:06

turbomoose: Nov 29, 2008; Playing the banjo can be a relaxing activity and create lifelong friendships!
\

http://www.theonion.com/articles/re...n=Pic:1:Default

# ? Mar 2, 2015 20:06

GonadTheBallbarian: Jul 23, 2007

So, here's an important thing that should be talked about : AP bots to assume some sports journalism duties.

# ? Mar 5, 2015 17:02

Rasczak: Mar 30, 2005

WugLyfe posted:

So, here's an important thing that should be talked about : AP bots to assume some sports journalism duties.

I for one wouldn't be surprised if sports journalism was responsible for the creation of Skynet and the downfall of our species

# ? Mar 5, 2015 17:16

Blotto Skorzany: Nov 7, 2008; He's a PSoC, loose and runnin'
came the whisper from each lip
And he's here to do some business with
the bad ADC on his chip
bad ADC on his chiiiiip

WugLyfe posted:

So, here's an important thing that should be talked about : AP bots to assume some sports journalism duties.

My working assumption was that Adam Schefter was some sort of Watson-esque AI already

# ? Mar 5, 2015 17:29

turbomoose: Nov 29, 2008; Playing the banjo can be a relaxing activity and create lifelong friendships!
\

Great tweet from Adarn Schefter (not Adam Schefter)

https://twitter.com/AdarnSchefter/status/573541786792108032

# ? Mar 5, 2015 19:04

Rags to Liches: Mar 11, 2008; future skeleton soldier

WugLyfe posted:

So, here's an important thing that should be talked about : AP bots to assume some sports journalism duties.

The AP does this for business stories that rely on tons of numbers and data, this isn't really a big deal.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 04:07

midwat: May 6, 2007

WugLyfe posted:

So, here's an important thing that should be talked about : AP bots to assume some sports journalism duties.

I'm picturing a John-Henry-esque competition between Skip Bayless and the bots for the hottest takes.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 04:17

GonadTheBallbarian: Jul 23, 2007

Aubergine Mage posted:

The AP does this for business stories that rely on tons of numbers and data, this isn't really a big deal.

Not yet, but I'm waiting for the first NDA to be broken, or argument error to kick off a twitter meltdown.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 04:53

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

They're also doing it for other sports they aren't writing about otherwise. As that story says, stuff like Div 2 ball and women's basketball and stuff

I can understand that just being step one of them using it for a lot more stories, but that's not a problem yet

# ? Mar 6, 2015 06:36

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

midwat posted:

I'm picturing a John-Henry-esque competition between Skip Bayless and the bots for the hottest takes.

I, too, look forward to Skip Bayless dying

# ? Mar 6, 2015 06:55

midwat: May 6, 2007

*beep* "Touchdown celebrations? Will not someone think of the younger, smaller, weaker humans?" *beep boop*

# ? Mar 6, 2015 14:37

WHOOPS: Nov 6, 2009

Maybe they will merge the AP Bot with the NYT 4th Down Bot to generate some commentary with the news wire.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 00:50

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

WHOOPS posted:

Maybe they will merge the AP Bot with the NYT 4th Down Bot to generate some commentary with the news wire.

Just like Colossus: The Forbin Project!

# ? Mar 7, 2015 04:35

Ramadu: Aug 25, 2004; 2015 NFL MVP

Sash! posted:

Just like Colossus: The Forbin Project!

Man that movie is awesome.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 05:40

Blowjob Overtime: Apr 6, 2008; Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

AP Bot @APBot 2m18 minutes ago
Got him in nuts once I noticed. But I felt so bad, n I�m all tearing those bolts up when needed!

# ? Mar 8, 2015 02:31

BigBoss: Jan 26, 2012; by Lowtax

World's Shittiest Writer Mitch Albom just posted a sour grapes story about Suh and the Dolphins.

http://www.freep.com/story/sports/columnists/mitch-albom/2015/03/08/detroit-lions-ndamukong-suh-mitch-albom/24620173/

I loving hate Mitch Albom.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 15:29

Shangri-Law School: Feb 19, 2013

Oh Lordy, it's every lovely Suh talking point in one column. Fans suck.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 16:02

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Is this where we talk about how Florio being all shifty and click-baity got him scooped on his scoop about Willis retiring? Get hosed Florio.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 16:04

SlipUp: Sep 30, 2006; stayin c o o l

Mitch can't visually tell the difference between the Ravens and the Seahawks. Seriously how do you gently caress up purple and neon green??

# ? Mar 9, 2015 16:08

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

Spoeank posted:

Is this where we talk about how Florio being all shifty and click-baity got him scooped on his scoop about Willis retiring? Get hosed Florio.

tell me more about this

# ? Mar 9, 2015 16:15

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

football fuckerman posted:

tell me more about this

yeah this sounds great

# ? Mar 9, 2015 16:23

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

DJExile posted:

yeah this sounds great

PFT had a post this morning about a shocking (their word) revelation about a key 49ers piece that isn't coming back and that we should all ~stay tuned~ and then about 15 minutes later Rand Getlin (Yahoo) broke on Twitter that it was Patrick Willis retiring.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 16:24

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

The idea of an exclusive in sports journalism is laughable. Nobody cares if you're wrong and sources are allowed to be anonymous. Someone else is going to have the scoop within minutes

# ? Mar 9, 2015 16:28

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

BigBoss posted:

World's Shittiest Writer Mitch Albom just posted a sour grapes story about Suh and the Dolphins.

http://www.freep.com/story/sports/columnists/mitch-albom/2015/03/08/detroit-lions-ndamukong-suh-mitch-albom/24620173/

I loving hate Mitch Albom.

Quoting a section so people don't have to give clicks to that crap (though I like the Free Press as a whole, I don't want this writer getting more work).

quote:

Suh who?

Star defensive tackle and current free agent Ndamukong Suh plans to leave Detroit and sign with the Miami Dolphins.

That should be the attitude now. The Detroit Lions' best defensive player — and sometimes their biggest headache — will take his talents to South Beach, and you can cry about it or you can move on.

I'd choose the latter. Like LeBron James, Ndamukong Suh will bolt from a Midwest team that drafted him, a team he never led to a championship, for greener pastures in the state of Florida. But James' departure was to join a trifecta of players engineered to win a championship.

Suh's is not.

His is about money and ego, two things that — along with prodigious talent and a sometimes costly temper — have defined him in the past.

Suh will join the Miami Dolphins, the Free Press reported this afternoon, a team that went 8-8 last year, 8-8 the year before, 7-9 the year before that. The Lions actually have been to the playoffs more recently than these guys. Miami has had six coaches in the past 11 seasons and hasn't seen a Super Bowl in three decades.

So this isn't about getting a ring. There is no assurance that Suh, 28, will even make the Dolphins a playoff force, just as his being on the Lions the last five seasons didn't earn them a single playoff victory.

The lesson you learn in football, over and over, is that it is never about one guy.

Keep reminding yourself of that.

If it were another writer in another article I would assume this was a rhetorical move to draw in dumb fans and educate them, but this article is such crap I can't even give the dude that much credit and thus can only assume he is contradicting himself before he has even started his point.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 16:46

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

That's like blaming JJ Watt for not having dragged the Texans kicking and screaming to the Super Bowl

# ? Mar 9, 2015 16:55

pangstrom: Jan 25, 2003; Wedge Regret

But also he played really well but that was for contract-year reasons, NOT for championship-winning reasons, which is clear because they did not win a championship you see.

Basically the "hard to have 3 huge-$ contracts on the same team and still flesh out a decent squad" point was legitimate (if obvious) and the rest is just convenient shifts of rhetorical focus and sour grapes stuff. The guy went for the big money it happens and the NFL is not a morality play about sacrifice.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 17:01

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

football fuckerman posted:

The idea of an exclusive in sports journalism is laughable. Nobody cares if you're wrong and sources are allowed to be anonymous. Someone else is going to have the scoop within minutes

If he had just come out and said it, he would have been the scooper. It's one of the best LBs of the last decade retiring. You don't really have to tease that.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 17:02

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Spoeank posted:

If he had just come out and said it, he would have been the scooper. It's one of the best LBs of the last decade retiring. You don't really have to tease that.

It's a future HoFer retiring early enough that he probably won't get the consideration he deserved. It's a real shame.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 17:04

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

I love this attitude from Lions fans/writers that somehow Suh is leaving a contender for a bad team.

quote:

Miami has had six coaches in the past 11 seasons and hasn't seen a Super Bowl in three decades.

lol you're the lions and you're going to try and big league the Phins about Super Bowl appearances?

# ? Mar 9, 2015 17:06

WHOOPS: Nov 6, 2009

Spoeank posted:

If he had just come out and said it, he would have been the scooper. It's one of the best LBs of the last decade retiring. You don't really have to tease that.

But if he does, I'll have no reason to come back and bang it there for the least rumors and news!

(seriously Florio, you got bought up NBC sports. why does your poo poo still look like an after-work Geocities site?)

# ? Mar 9, 2015 17:12

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

Ehud posted:

I love this attitude from Lions fans/writers that somehow Suh is leaving a contender for a bad team.

lol you're the lions and you're going to try and big league the Phins about Super Bowl appearances?

if only an NFL player was more aware of the recent showings of NFL teams...

# ? Mar 9, 2015 17:24

Scipiotik: Mar 2, 2004; "I would have won the race but for that."

Ehud posted:

I love this attitude from Lions fans/writers that somehow Suh is leaving a contender for a bad team.

lol you're the lions and you're going to try and big league the Phins about Super Bowl appearances?

Some fans, and all writers are idiots. Suh has made it pretty obvious from day one that he was going to get to free agency and then take the max amount of money he could. If the Lions weren't willing to spend that they weren't going to retain him. I thought the Lions would recognize how important he was to the team and sign him, but they decided otherwise.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 17:38

No Safe Word: Feb 26, 2005

PFT calls out Stephen A and is right about it

quote:

�Chip Kelly makes decisions over the last couple of years that, dare I say, leave a few brothers feeling uncomfortable,� Smith said. �I think that�s fair to say. I mean, we�re sitting here looking at some of the decisions that Chip Kelly makes and I�m like what is up? What�s up with that? I mean, it�s like you�ve got to be his kind of guy, you know? And I�m like, well, Riley Cooper�s your kind of guy?�

quote:

�Let�s get beyond the system, the operative word is �culture,'� Smith said. �The culture is what resonates with me more profoundly because I�m looking at a Chip Kelly and I�m like, really? Now, you�ve got to remember, where did I work for 16 years? I mean, this is Philadelphia. You understand what I�m saying? I�m always in Philly, and I�m telling you right now you�ve got people walking the streets and, hell with it, you�ve got brothers walking the streets going like �What�s up with Chip? I don�t understand this. I really don�t understand what you�re doing.� Now I�m not saying I know, I�m just saying that it does strike me as a tad bit odd. I�m going to repeat this. Gone: LeSean McCoy, Jeremy Maclin, you know, DeSean Jackson. Staying: Riley Cooper. Really? Really? OK.�

Stephen A should stick to being bad at basketball reporting instead of doing bizarre cherry-picking bullshit fishing for race issues in the NFL.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 18:43

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# ? May 13, 2024 05:43

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

i mean once he didn't cut Cooper after the n-word thing i don't think you can continue to be upset that he remains

# ? Mar 9, 2015 18:45

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Writing & reporting in today's NFL: One extra-wide horse shit latte please

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