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Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm Mr. Morningstar, Governmental Statistics branch. Which religion is the fastest growing, you say? Well, I have an answer for you, but I'm afraid I'll need you to sign something to have a look at our forms. Ignore that burning smell, haven't been able to get it out of the office since I started here. Oh, there's no need to read over my contract. No, no, there's no monetary cost. In fact, I can promise that as long as you're alive, we won't be taking any payment from you. Just a little signature, that's all I require. If you could just skip over those paragraphs regarding New Hampshire lawyers or southern stringed instrument contests, I'd be much obliged. They just take such an awfully long time to read for mere trifles. Well now, thank you kindly for your John Hancock. I'll just be on my way for now, but I'll be seeing you soon. Real soon. Wahahahahahahaha!!!
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Mar 12, 2015 21:38
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:It is a hellish condition that the soul endures without God in the afterlife. The soul is without family, evil and has anger and hatred in it's heart. Through Jesus we can be with God and not suffer this condition. through Jesus, I can somehow escape the mortal coils of this forum, never to bear witness to another post again??
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Mar 12, 2015 21:41
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Lovely Senorita posted:through Jesus, I can somehow escape the mortal coils of this forum, never to bear witness to another post again?? Welcome to hell.
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Mar 12, 2015 21:42
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CommieGIR posted:If you say so, guy who cites a Christian website for his statistics. It's almost as if Pew and the US Census Buereu don't exist. Well done Commie.
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Mar 12, 2015 21:44
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Lovely Senorita posted:through Jesus, I can somehow escape the mortal coils of this forum, never to bear witness to another post again?? lol
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Mar 12, 2015 21:45
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Here at Governmental Statistics, we know your deepest desires, and there is a hundred percent correlation between you signing one of our simple contracts and your achieving those desires.
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Mar 12, 2015 21:47
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:Well done Commie. No no, expecting someone who can't even spell pedophile correctly to be able to read statistics was a little much.
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Mar 12, 2015 21:48
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CommieGIR posted:No no, expecting someone who can't even spell pedophile correctly to be able to read statistics was a little much. Teacher, you are back.
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Mar 12, 2015 21:50
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CommieGIR posted:No no, expecting someone who can't even spell pedophile correctly to be able to read statistics was a little much. Enchanter Homnibus posted:Let not one's imagination deter one from the truth. I like this thread.
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Mar 12, 2015 21:51
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:Teacher, you are back. I never left. What is 73-78=? What sort of number comes out of that. And would you describe that as being an incline plane or decline plane. Also: The Pew Forums doesn't come with a built in store where you can buy the King James Bible and Passion of the Christ.
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Mar 12, 2015 21:54
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The Thread That Will Bring Down Armageddon.
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Mar 12, 2015 21:56
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ReagaNOMNOMicks posted:The Thread That Will Bring Down Armageddon. Its about damned time.
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Mar 12, 2015 21:57
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CommieGIR posted:I never left. I was unaware that it was a Christian site. Even in a decline Christianity could be the fastest growing religion. It is certainly the largest with 2.2 billion people, one third of the world population.
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Mar 12, 2015 22:31
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:I was unaware that it was a Christian site. Even in a decline Christianity could be the fastest growing religion. It is certainly the largest with 2.2 billion people, one third of the world population. I'm sure that large number has nothing to do with people being born into it and converts of circumstance. Either way, a majority in no way validates your religion as 'True', if we'd gone back 2000 years, Paganism would be the majority. Still wasn't True. Or go back even further, some other form of Paganism, still not True. Appealing to numbers and saying "Look how quickly we're growing, look at us, we're the majority" does not suddenly make "Christianity = THE ONE TRUE RELIGION"
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Mar 12, 2015 23:23
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CommieGIR posted:I'm sure that large number has nothing to do with people being born into it and converts of circumstance. This is true. Although the Christian believing in salvation may rejoice. Mark 16:15. And He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature."
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Mar 12, 2015 23:51
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:This is true. Although the Christian believing in salvation may rejoice. Ezekiel 23:20 "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." Mmmm, tell me more.
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Mar 12, 2015 23:52
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CommieGIR posted:Ezekiel 23:20 "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." He was referring to a harlot (a female prostitute).
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Mar 13, 2015 00:07
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Painting of Jesus.
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Mar 13, 2015 00:31
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:Painting of Jesus. racist
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Mar 13, 2015 00:34
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:Painting of Jesus. A white guy from the Middle East? PFFFFFFFFffffttttt
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Mar 13, 2015 00:38
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SedanChair posted:racist Jesus was born Jewish. It has nothing to do with racism.
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Mar 13, 2015 00:54
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:Jesus was born Jewish. It has nothing to do with racism. Jews from Jesus' time and place tended to look a little more like this:  I mean I'm sure there were some green-eyed, pointy nosed guys walking around but I think they were wearing helmets. On the other hand, one of them was probably Jesus' dad, so maybe you have a point after all.
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Mar 13, 2015 01:01
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CommieGIR posted:A white guy from the Middle East? PFFFFFFFFffffttttt I'm not going to speculate about the skin color of Jesus, but I'll just note that lots of Middle Eastern folks, such as Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, look pretty white to me...
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Mar 13, 2015 01:02
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Most people have heard of N.D.E.'s (Near Death Experiences) claiming that their lives had flashed before their eyes or that they received a "life review". I have read of one account were these moments are seen in bubbles. And it was so overwhelming that Jesus had to hold the person up so their legs would not give in and collapse. I believe that Jesus performed this life review through the Spirit of truth. John 16:13. However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears hears He will speak; He will tell you things to come. And many N.D.E.'s report seeing a light at the end of a tunnel and some claim this light to be heaven. Revelations 22:5. There shall be no night there: They need no lamps nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them light. And they shall reign forever and ever.
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Mar 13, 2015 01:25
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:Most people have heard of N.D.E.'s (Near Death Experiences) claiming that their lives had flashed before their eyes or that they received a "life review". I have read of one account were these moments are seen in bubbles. And it was so overwhelming that Jesus had to hold the person up so their legs would not give in and collapse. The amount of things that happen as your brain shuts down makes a hallucination all but a certainty. The idea that near death experiences are anything other than you getting to see the chemicals flowing through your synapses causing hallucinations is pretty much guarantee.
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Mar 13, 2015 01:29
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SedanChair posted:Jews from Jesus' time and place tended to look a little more like this: Saint Joseph would be considered His step dad by todays standards. Father God is His Father. He is God from God. Enchanter Homnibus fucked around with this message at 03:02 on Mar 13, 2015 |
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Mar 13, 2015 01:31
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Why is your username Enchanter Homnibus? Enchanter, like a witch!? Exodus 22:18. Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
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Mar 13, 2015 01:35
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:Jesus's birth is known as the Immaculate Conception. It was done through the Holy Spirit. Father God is His Father. He is God from God. Uh, I thought the Immaculate Conception referred to Mary being conceived in her mother's womb free from original sin...
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Mar 13, 2015 01:45
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:Jesus's birth is known as the Immaculate Conception. It was done through the Holy Spirit. Father God is His Father. He is God from God. The "holy spirit" was the semen of a swart, grizzled legionary who couldn't believe his luck. Look, this was revealed to me. I experienced a holy vision, which says it is true. Are you saying that my holy vision is less reliable than yours?
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Mar 13, 2015 01:57
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:It was done through the Holy Spirit. Father God is His Father. He is God from God.
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Mar 13, 2015 02:00
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CommieGIR posted:The amount of things that happen as your brain shuts down makes a hallucination all but a certainty. The idea that near death experiences are anything other than you getting to see the chemicals flowing through your synapses causing hallucinations is pretty much guarantee. There is a scientific study done in the UK that "suggests consciousness and the mind may continue to exist after the brain has ceased to function and the body is clinically dead." Sorry, I was unable to provide the link. Many people including myself know that there is an afterlife.
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Mar 13, 2015 02:11
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Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:Why is your username Enchanter Homnibus? Enchanter, like a witch!? I just like the Smurfs. Enchanter Homnibus was a good wizard and a friend to Papa Smurf. He is merely a cartoon wizard and not real. Wizardry has no bearing on me.
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Mar 13, 2015 02:17
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Math Debater posted:Uh, I thought the Immaculate Conception referred to Mary being conceived in her mother's womb free from original sin... You are right. I stand corrected.
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Mar 13, 2015 02:57
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SedanChair posted:Are you saying that my holy vision is less reliable than yours? I never said that anything on this thread was from a "holy vision."
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Mar 13, 2015 03:09
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:There is a scientific study done in the UK that "suggests consciousness and the mind may continue to exist after the brain has ceased to function and the body is clinically dead." Exist FOR a time. Until your brain fully shutsdown. Enchanter Homnibus posted:Many people including myself know that there is an afterlife. Conjecture is FUN!
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Mar 13, 2015 03:20
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:I never said that anything on this thread was from a "holy vision." Wow, in that case I am replete with holy evidence that Mary got it on with a Roman soldier, whereas your own conception of light phenomena being evidence of an all-forgiving god seems baseless
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Mar 13, 2015 03:58
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http://www.yowiehunters.net/viewtopic.php?f=54&t=4955 Source your quotes
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Mar 13, 2015 04:01
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SedanChair posted:Jews from Jesus' time and place tended to look a little more like this: IIRC the legion stationed in Judea at the appropriate time was recruited somewhere in North Africa, if anything that simulacrum may not be swarthy enough.
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Mar 13, 2015 04:04
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How about Vladimir Putin and the Orthodox Patriarch? What is their relationship with Jesus Christ or Muhammad (pbuh) or Buddha or whoever?
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Mar 13, 2015 04:08
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Enchanter Homnibus posted:Here is a photograph of the afterlife. It is of a spirit in one of God's very small chariots. Man, up until this I thought you were actually serious and that we could have some fun here  Lid posted:http://www.yowiehunters.net/viewtopic.php?f=54&t=4955 Hahaha nice. Also, wait, is that guy actually serious though 
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Mar 13, 2015 04:17
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