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SpiderHyphenMan
Apr 1, 2010

by Fluffdaddy

Enigma89 posted:

Think the country was so anti-Republican at that time it wouldn't have mattered but looking back on it now a Republican and Democrat on the same ticket would of been amazing for toning down the polarization that got worst during
Obama.
In Game Change they're throwing out names and Lieberman comes up and one of the aides goes "Lieberman definitely says Country First."
Later after poo poo starts hitting the fan with Palin that same guy is yelling at the two people who picked her and goes "You just slapped her on the butt and stuck her under a banner that said Country First!" and then everyone starts yelling at each other.

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Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold
In sendghazi news the Russians have had a bit of malware in state's non-classified email services for a while.

Chamale
Jul 11, 2010

I'm helping!



Raskolnikov38 posted:

In sendghazi news the Russians have had a bit of malware in state's non-classified email services for a while.

Sendghazi is the best scandal name since Fat & Furious :golfclap:

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold
I wish I had come up with it but I think credit goes to Fried Chicken.

Rygar201
Jan 26, 2011
I AM A TERRIBLE PIECE OF SHIT.

Please Condescend to me like this again.

Oh yeah condescend to me ALL DAY condescend daddy.


Read this loving :iceburn: Jarvis DeBerry dropped on Jindal

Jindal Hears a Who's That

http://www.nola.com/politics/index.ssf/2015/03/bobby_jindal_hears_a_whos_that.html#incart_river

quote:

In 2015 in the US of A
With the next big election 19 months plus away,
He was fretting and fearing another defeat
When the GOP elephant heard a small peep.

He didn't stop fretting, but he looked toward the sound.
"Am I crazy?" he worried. "There's no one around."
There it was again!
Almost too faint to mention.
Like a teeny-tiny candidate crazed for attention.

"Who is that?" he said, "I see no one around.
But there must be somebody. Or I wouldn't hear a sound.
You know what I think? I think this person unseen
Has plans for the White House in Twenty Sixteen.

"We do need a win, but who are you? Where?"
His trunk tapped the straw polls. "Will I find your name here?
Can you challenge Jeb Bush, Dr. Carson or Christie?
Can you beat Teddy Cruz, (Ayn) Rand Paul or Br'er Huckabee?
"Oh, I see," said the elephant, as his hopes started to dwindle.
"Here's your name at the bottom. You're that guy, Bobby Jindal.

"With no hat on your head or glove on a hand
You went to D.C. to make a bold stand.
Outside the White House in the wind and the cold
You got that mean, mean, ole Obama guy told
"Unfit to be leader!" you yelled, "He's unfit!"
But interest in you increased not one whit.

"The Muslims are conquering Europe!" you said.
And they laughed over there, "He's out of his head!
He's parroting lies that were broadcast on Fox!
He's as mixed up as plaid and paisley-print socks!
He's as lightweight as a Sarah Palin balloon!
This guy went to Oxford? How's he such a maroon?"

"Some senators sent a dumb note to Iran
insisting the president isn't the man,
insisting it's they that Tehran must go through.
And you jumped in with a rather pathetic
'Me too!'"

"You've globetrotted and opined about this thing and that
As Louisianians have cried, "Where's our governor at?!
We're suffering here! Our colleges rotting!
We chose him to help us, but we swear he's forgotten.
Today's it New Hampshire, tomorrow it's Iowa.
Every month, every week, every day, every hour
He's focused on others; he's ignoring his own,
He's so desperate for Washington to be his new home."

The elephant sighed and asked, "How could it be
That Louisiana sees you no better than me?
You're absent from home and overlooked while away.
The voters don't see you.
They don't care what you say!

"I don't think it will work," the GOP mascot said,
"You're out of your depths. You're in over your head.
We're looking for presence - because after all
A campaign's a dud with a candidate so small."

The elephant lumbered away
And he tried not to sneer
As he left Jindal jumping, "I am here! I am here!"



:wow: :drat: :vince:

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

That reminds me of LF rap battles.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

Aliquid posted:

That reminds me of LF rap battles.

That's not a good thing.

I mean :thejoke: but it bears repeating.

Turnquiet
Oct 24, 2002

My friend is an eloquent speaker.

Chokes McGee posted:

That's not a good thing.

I mean :thejoke: but it bears repeating.

Dis:agreed:

Everything that is wrong with America deserves longform effort mocking takedown, and lf was great at it.

JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012

STRIKE!

Turnquiet posted:

Dis:agreed:

Everything that is wrong with America deserves longform effort mocking takedown, and lf was great at it.

The candle that burns twice as bright...

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ
Here's an ad for Ted Cruz's new book A Time for Truth, which is in no way a campaign ad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltW1X7X03m8

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

Rand Paul gave a speech in Austin today. He knew his audience, and the entire speech was about weed and civil forfeiture.

SpiderHyphenMan
Apr 1, 2010

by Fluffdaddy
Here's Ted Cruz scaring the hell out of a little girl by screaming about the world being on fire.

GottaPayDaTrollToll
Dec 3, 2009

by Lowtax

TEAYCHES posted:

Clinton's political record shows a history of good judgement. From the Patriot Act, to the Iraq War, to the surveillance state, this is a person of good character and inspiring leadership.

Plus, she rid us of Vilerat!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

ohgodwhat
Aug 6, 2005


I couldn't even watch it due to the morons nodding away at his every word

Gyges
Aug 4, 2004

NOW NO ONE
RECOGNIZE HULK

Your world is on fire, but you know what? Your mommy and these people are here to make sure it's even better.

Ted Cruz 2016: The world aflame is just the start!

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Anime Deviant

Gyges posted:

Your world is on fire, but you know what? Your mommy and these people are here to make sure it's even better.

Ted Cruz 2016: The world aflame is just the start!

https://youtu.be/n9D6GNzpmkM

Duckbox
Sep 7, 2007

Rygar201 posted:

Read this loving :iceburn: Jarvis DeBerry dropped on Jindal

Jindal Hears a Who's That

http://www.nola.com/politics/index.ssf/2015/03/bobby_jindal_hears_a_whos_that.html#incart_river


:wow: :drat: :vince:

I like mocking Jindal as much as the next guy, but that's no excuse for taking a big ol' poo poo on Dr. Seuss's grave.

e: To clarify, I don't mind a little reappropriation, but if you think "where" rhymes with "here" and you can just jam as many extra syllables in a line as you want without loving the meter, you have no business even touching another man's poetry.

Duckbox fucked around with this message at 01:03 on Mar 16, 2015

ErIog
Jul 11, 2001

:nsacloud:

Look Sir Droids posted:

McMorris-Rodgers or Ayotte.

Ayotte has the personality of an old shoe. She might be a great legislator or whatever, but she's not nearly energetic enough to ever be a real part of any presidential campaign. Nikki Haley is a much better pull, but everyone's gonna be a bit gunshy about female governors after Palin's epic meltdown.

Deptfordx posted:

No, have faith. It's all part of the plan. Surely Seldon has predicted this and all will turn out well.

Chetter Hummin gonna get that VP slot, and provide that much needed bump in Trantor.

ErIog fucked around with this message at 01:05 on Mar 16, 2015

AreWeDrunkYet
Jul 8, 2006

ErIog posted:

Ayotte has the personality of an old shoe. She might be a great legislator or whatever, but she's not nearly energetic enough to ever be a real part of any presidential campaign.

She also can't speak without sounding like she's about to break down crying.

Look Sir Droids
Jan 27, 2015

The tracks go off in this direction.
Al Gore had the personality of an old shoe. It worked out for Clinton. Point is, there's other viable women for the Republican VP slot. Far more viable than failed Senate candidate like Fiorina.

ErIog
Jul 11, 2001

:nsacloud:

Look Sir Droids posted:

Al Gore had the personality of an old shoe. It worked out for Clinton. Point is, there's other viable women for the Republican VP slot. Far more viable than failed Senate candidate like Fiorina.

Al Gore had the personality of a new shoe. He's much more dynamic than Ayotte. Go look up that picture of him running in short shorts.

Full Battle Rattle
Aug 29, 2009

As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.
Al Gore certainly picked up a lot of personality after his loss, though. Inconvenient Truth, 30 Rock and Futurama guest spots, he was pretty hip for a minute

As hip as Al Gore can get, anyway

Wheeee
Mar 11, 2001

When a tree grows, it is soft and pliable. But when it's dry and hard, it dies.

Hardness and strength are death's companions. Flexibility and softness are the embodiment of life.

That which has become hard shall not triumph.

Which leads me to believe that Al Gore's demeanor at the time was a political miscalculation on his part.

He won't run, and if he did run he'd be crushed by the Hillary machine, but I still sort of wish he'd run.

Cliff Racer
Mar 24, 2007

by Lowtax
Actually, how old is he now anyway? He was governor back in the 80s.

Fuck You And Diebold
Sep 15, 2004

by Athanatos
Al Gore will be 67 in 16 days. I'd also legit rather Gore than Hillary.

WhiskeyJuvenile
Feb 15, 2002

by Nyc_Tattoo

Cliff Racer posted:

Actually, how old is he now anyway? He was governor back in the 80s.

younger than Clinton

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ

WhiskeyJuvenile posted:

younger than Clinton

By 157 days, but true!

Look Sir Droids
Jan 27, 2015

The tracks go off in this direction.

Cliff Racer posted:

Actually, how old is he now anyway? He was governor back in the 80s.

Gore was never a governor.

Full Battle Rattle
Aug 29, 2009

As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.
It's also doubtful he would oppose the Clinton machine, just out of principle. It would at least make primary season slightly more interesting than it is now

Vienna Circlejerk
Jan 28, 2003

The great science sausage party!

ErIog posted:

Al Gore had the personality of a new shoe. He's much more dynamic than Ayotte. Go look up that picture of him running in short shorts.

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

:bahgawd: Look at him in those posh-rear end sunglasses and tie and suit! Hi-falutin' Ivy League educated egghead.

notthegoatseguy
Sep 6, 2005

Cliff Racer posted:

Actually, how old is he now anyway? He was governor back in the 80s.

He was a Senator from Tennessee elected in 1984 and 1990.

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ
The latest in Mike Huckabee's scampaign: a cure for the diabetes.

quote:

In his diabetes video, Mr. Huckabee promotes the “Diabetes Solution Kit,” a $19.95 booklet with advice on eating, exercise and dietary supplements. “Just sit tight,” he says in the two-minute, 40-second pitch, “because in a moment, a free presentation is coming up.” He promises it will reveal “all the natural secrets that are backed by real science that really work.”

But rather than science, the second, lengthier video peddles a diabetes “cure” consisting of cinnamon and chromium picolinate. Both the American Diabetes Association and the Canadian Diabetes Association warn that dietary and herbal supplements are ineffective for treating diabetes, which is an epidemic in the United States and is tied to obesity.

But there's one big problem for Huckabee in this miracle of cinnamon and chromium...

quote:

Mr. Huckabee, who earlier this year released a book, “God, Guns, Grits and Gravy,” celebrates the populist culture and values in the “flyover” states, the political identity he is preparing to run on. His manifesto appeared before he endorsed the diabetes cure, which includes numerous foods to cut from one’s diet. One of those on the list: grits.

His people keep saying that he's ended all his relationships with these hucksters (heh), but they just keep coming.

Cliff Racer
Mar 24, 2007

by Lowtax
He's stealing Newt's thunder! Now all he has to do is target Chinese immigrants.

Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



Enigma89 posted:

Think the country was so anti-Republican at that time it wouldn't have mattered but looking back on it now a Republican and Democrat on the same ticket would of been amazing for toning down the polarization that got worst during
Obama.
How do you figure? Do you think political polarization somehow interferes with giving out tax breaks to large business donors?

logikv9
Mar 5, 2009


Ham Wrangler
Mike Huckabee's newest venture will be late-night TV ads selling nascent iodine for grandparents.

JonathonSpectre
Jul 23, 2003

I replaced the Shermatar and text with this because I don't wanna see racial slurs every time you post what the fuck

Soiled Meat

Joementum posted:

His people keep saying that he's ended all his relationships with these hucksters (heh), but they just keep coming.

Mike Huckabee is seriously the most loathsome loving person in politics today. Well, parasitically attached to the edge of politics, anyway.

"No, no, you see, we aren't scamming people with bullshit disease 'cures' anymore."

PupsOfWar
Dec 6, 2013

Scott Walker is a southron manchurian agent engineered by University of Alabama scientists to destroy wisgonsin in revenge for the Iron Brigade's antics during the civil war

perhaps snyder also

Al Harrington
May 1, 2005

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the eye
Scott Walker gave two non answers and then walked away when a 7 year old questioned him on climate change
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Xyn7t4gstGA

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Karnegal
Dec 24, 2005

Is it... safe?

Al Harrington posted:

Scott Walker gave two non answers and then walked away when a 7 year old questioned him on climate change
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Xyn7t4gstGA

I know that any time you see an elementary school-aged kid ask a question about a political or social issue, it's because their parents have taught them that it's an issue. However, I love how the kid can put together that Walker is spinning a bunch of bullshit and not answering him.

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