RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

Che Delilas posted:

I don't even know how you manage this with modern frameworks unless they're deliberately trapping and swallowing the events.

The arrows are also rather tiny, and lag the page up to hell when you scroll too much at once. It doesn't scroll particularly quickly either. I recently found that holding left and right click at the same time will make it scroll twice as fast, but it will also create a scrolling buffer so you have to stop holding a few seconds before you want it to stop.

For fun I timed myself using it, and had to sit there scrolling for two minutes and 45 seconds before I got to what I wanted, and I know that wasn't the worst offender. My manager swears that it's "being worked on", but considering what's left of the dev team is currently too busy fixing the bigger complaint of "the colors hurt my eyes", and that hasn't been changed in the three months since it was pushed out, I'm not keeping my hopes up.

The old application works perfectly fine with the new server but we're not allowed to use it with no particular explanation (I know the explanation is "we spent too much money on this and need to justify the cost"). I could rant about all the problems with Remedy and fill up an entire page. It breaks every common sense UI design rule that I could think of.

e:

Urit posted:

If it's what I'm thinking about, it's because it's not actually the browser/OS's scroll mechanism, so it's not actually a scrollable object technically - they're implementing their entire own version of "scrolling".

This is exactly it.

Renegret fucked around with this message at 03:35 on Mar 16, 2015

# ? Mar 16, 2015 03:33

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 13:25

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

Urit posted:

they're implementing their entire own version

Hunt them down and kill them as an example to others.

# ? Mar 16, 2015 04:15

spankmeister: Jun 15, 2008

my guess is that they don't fetch all those 100's of thousands of items from the database all at once so they implemented some "clever" code around the scrolling

# ? Mar 16, 2015 09:28

Dudley: Feb 24, 2003; Tasty

22 Eargesplitten posted:

What is the possible downside here? I'm not seeing one.

The only one I can see is that the boss could squash his chances but by applying he's just told said boss he wants out and thus his life becomes difficult if the boss is a shitheel.

# ? Mar 16, 2015 10:57

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

DrBouvenstein posted:

poo poo like what happened this morning is why I hate desktop support, and the fact that the managers and sales guy at my MSP company are trying to get more desktop support business, instead of strictly server/network device support.

I was doing some work on a guy's laptop last Friday and over the weekend, and had to log in as my account to do it.

So I guess this morning around 7 AM he called our off-hours support line and tried to explain to them his problem. It hit the primary on-call guy's pager, but he was driving into work, so nothing could be done about it until he got here at 8 and told me.
.
.
.
i get him on the phone and he immediately is bitching at me that he can't login, saying it's my fault for that "barracuda stuff" i was doing on Friday. I ask what happens, and he says he just gets a message saying his password isn't correct. I remote in and have him show me, and it turns out he's typing in his password, but for MY username since I was the last one logged in. I tell him he needs to switch users to HIS username, and he has no idea what I mean. So I do it for him, and explain what I'm doing, that if someone else logs into your machine, you will have to click on 'Switch User', and he once again gets all huffy that he's never had to do that before, and I did something to his machine.

I tell him it's back to "normal" now, and to just type in his username and PW normal, and he bitches AGAIN, because "I don't have a username! I just type in my password and it works! Fix it!"

Yeah...this guy doesn't even know his username. So I go to AD and get it for him, tell him what it is (turns out it's just his first name, the convenience of a small company) and he finally can log in, but all the while bitching that I "changed things" and "when you use someone's computer, you need to put it back the way it was!"

Quoting myself from a few page ago because something new came from this today.

Our controller/CFO comes over to my desk (small company, calling him a CFO is a bit grandiose and over-the-top, IMO) to ask me why this company is billing us for two hours of this guy's work.

Yeah...he send us an invoice for "hours lost" because he didn't know how to log in to Windows.

All I can say is good luck getting that mioney.

Hell, the irony is, HAD we actually been able to give him the off-hours support when he first tried to call, we would be billing him, since we don't provide workstation or end-user support during off-hours, only core network/server support.

# ? Mar 16, 2015 14:40

bitterandtwisted: Sep 4, 2006

One of our clients got hit by cryptowall 3 via an email attachment on Friday and another got it today. Two others reported getting the same email after we sent out a warning about it. Email in question was "please find my resume attached'.
Hmm, this isn't a word file or pdf but this file called hugo.js sounds legit, I'll just double click on this even though I'm not even in HR oh no why are there Help_Decrypt files in every folder on the shared drives. :saddowns:

Naturally, the mail filter and managed anti-virus did absolutely nothing.

Two of our clients are having problems with their backup systems just now and I really hope no genius they employ decides to hire Hugo before we sort it out.

# ? Mar 16, 2015 15:31

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

spankmeister posted:

my guess is that they don't fetch all those 100's of thousands of items from the database all at once so they implemented some "clever" code around the scrolling

That's certainly what it feels like.

It runs fine when you're given a small selection, but since when is anything at a big company ever small and simplified? I could write a book on all the terrible things wrong with our Remedy, and that's just from an end user standpoint. I imagine it's much worse on the backend.

# ? Mar 16, 2015 15:51

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Urit posted:

I don't even sugar coat it - I just say "We need this in case <name> ever decides to quit". I don't know where this "bus" thing came from, I suppose it's another management euphemism. On the other hand I'm King Sperg of Loch Spergo Castle so maybe that's why I don't like euphemisms like that.

I've always used "we need this in case there's an emergency and <person> isn't available" - makes things easier without using goofy analogies or making assumptions about anyone being fired/quitting/retiring

# ? Mar 16, 2015 20:48

MJP: Jun 17, 2007; Are you looking at me Senpai?; Grimey Drawer

http://np.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/2z5vps/my_mom_went_on_a_big_rant_about_how_she_hates/

Cloud to butt is a wonderful thing for the entire family.

# ? Mar 16, 2015 21:28

Lightning Jim: Nov 18, 2006; Just a mad weather-ologist

bitterandtwisted posted:

One of our clients got hit by cryptowall 3 via an email attachment on Friday and another got it today. Two others reported getting the same email after we sent out a warning about it. Email in question was "please find my resume attached'.
Hmm, this isn't a word file or pdf but this file called hugo.js sounds legit, I'll just double click on this even though I'm not even in HR oh no why are there Help_Decrypt files in every folder on the shared drives.

Naturally, the mail filter and managed anti-virus did absolutely nothing.

Two of our clients are having problems with their backup systems just now and I really hope no genius they employ decides to hire Hugo before we sort it out.

The fact that people open JS files randomly sent to them even today is pretty ridiculous.

# ? Mar 16, 2015 21:53

Cool Dad: Jun 15, 2007; It is always Friday night, motherfuckers

MJP posted:

http://np.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/2z5vps/my_mom_went_on_a_big_rant_about_how_she_hates/

Cloud to butt is a wonderful thing for the entire family.

Is there a version of this that replaces words you choose? Because my girlfriend uses my computer a lot and I have ideas.

# ? Mar 16, 2015 21:55

deimos: Nov 30, 2006; Forget it man this bat is whack, it's got poobrain!

Gilok posted:

Is there a version of this that replaces words you choose? Because my girlfriend uses my computer a lot and I have ideas.

https://github.com/boxmein/word-to-word

# ? Mar 16, 2015 22:05

stubblyhead: Sep 13, 2007; That is treason, Johnny!; Fun Shoe

Johnny Aztec posted:

Didn't Dick Trauma's Pre-Tony boss, in fact, get hit by a bus?

I'm pretty sure that was Midelne, who sadly hasn't posted in these threads in many years. I can only hope that just means he's in some luxurious pod somewhere without a care in the world.

# ? Mar 16, 2015 22:08

ilkhan: Oct 7, 2004; You'll be sorry you made fun of me when Daddy Donald jails all my posting enemies!

Gilok posted:

Is there a version of this that replaces words you choose? Because my girlfriend uses my computer a lot and I have ideas.

I did that with a "101 ways to kill Barney" joke thing in 7th grade. Replaced barney with one of the other kids' names. 5 months later some kid told their parents and I got 3 days off of school since I hadn't cleaned out my backpack in that span. Oops.

# ? Mar 16, 2015 23:31

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Lightning Jim posted:

The fact that people open JS files randomly sent to them even today is pretty ridiculous.

The fact that people don't have their email filters configured to block all executable and similar files is what boggles me most.

# ? Mar 16, 2015 23:33

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Collateral Damage posted:

The fact that people don't have their email filters configured to block all executable and similar files is what boggles me most.

this, we just block zips, exes and probably a ton of other extensions, if you need to email something with that, change the extension to something like .safe or whatever so the person on the other end gets it.

# ? Mar 17, 2015 00:02

chemosh6969

Jul 3, 2004

code:
cat /dev/null > /etc/professionalism

_{_{I am in fact a massive asswagon.

Do not let me touch computer.}}

MF_James posted:

this, we just block zips, exes and probably a ton of other extensions, if you need to email something with that, change the extension to something like .safe or whatever so the person on the other end gets it.

I remember back when we used Barracuda Firewall and they had local ads on the radio where they specifically said they guarantee they block all viruses. Weeks/months later, viruses were getting through it because they were in zip files and it wasn't scanning the contents. Shortly after that, the ad had one minor change to it. Guess what was missing.

# ? Mar 17, 2015 00:13

Partycat: Oct 25, 2004

Re: Remedy, there are other types of combo menu options, or, we have a text field with a poo poo rear end arrow drop down next to it to help you fill it in. Or a find that just opens another subform. Many ways not to screw it up. If you are using ARS you can set the colors on the client, but the default teal /green isn't too bad.

# ? Mar 17, 2015 00:25

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

MF_James posted:

this, we just block zips, exes and probably a ton of other extensions, if you need to email something with that, change the extension to something like .safe or whatever so the person on the other end gets it.

Yup. Block all executable and script files. Search inside archives. Block password protected archives.

People are going to be idiots. The only way to stop them is to not give them the opportunity.

# ? Mar 17, 2015 00:50

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; Can't post for 7 hours!

Super Slash posted:

Spiceworks is pretty neat, mostly by being free and doing a lot of automatic detection. It used to be pretty slow but there was an update I think last week? which revamped the interface and sped things up a lot.

Just a shame no one bothers to use my ticket email address.

Run on a SSD, it improves dramatically :\

It also is basically a must to have all scanning done by a remote collector, leaving the central site instance to service just the helpdesk.

# ? Mar 17, 2015 04:13

bitterandtwisted: Sep 4, 2006

Collateral Damage posted:

The fact that people don't have their email filters configured to block all executable and similar files is what boggles me most.

exes were blocked, but .js weren't (they are now, of course). That was the 'normal' level setting on the filter, apparently.

# ? Mar 17, 2015 08:13

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

Partycat posted:

Re: Remedy, there are other types of combo menu options, or, we have a text field with a poo poo rear end arrow drop down next to it to help you fill it in. Or a find that just opens another subform. Many ways not to screw it up. If you are using ARS you can set the colors on the client, but the default teal /green isn't too bad.

Web based.

It's BETTER because IT'S IN THE CLOUD even though it had the vast majority of it's features removed. I don't know if that's Remedy's fault or our implementation's fault, but I'm going to blame both.

# ? Mar 17, 2015 11:53

Partycat: Oct 25, 2004

Oh no

We have "RemedyForce" coming.... in the cloud

I may need to get my e-Umbrella , sounds like

# ? Mar 17, 2015 12:29

Partycat: Oct 25, 2004

Ticket comes in ...

Homeless people are coming into the building late at night and using our telephones . Can we stop them from being able to use the phone?

# ? Mar 17, 2015 12:51

Moey: Oct 22, 2010; I LIKE TO MOVE IT

Partycat posted:

Ticket comes in ...

Homeless people are coming into the building late at night and using our telephones . Can we stop them from being able to use the phone?

I think you have bigger problems.

# ? Mar 17, 2015 13:49

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Partycat posted:

Ticket comes in ...

Homeless people are coming into the building late at night and using our telephones . Can we stop them from being able to use the phone?

Install a door lock?

# ? Mar 17, 2015 14:06

Gothmog1065: May 14, 2009

Partycat posted:

Ticket comes in ...

Homeless people are coming into the building late at night and using our telephones . Can we stop them from being able to use the phone?

Here's a gun, shoot them as they come in. Two birds, one stone.

# ? Mar 17, 2015 14:12

nitrogen: May 21, 2004; Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?

give the homeless people guns. Free security force!

# ? Mar 17, 2015 14:32

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Hire them as first line.

# ? Mar 17, 2015 15:14

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Collateral Damage posted:

Hire them as first line.

So become Microsoft? (Seriously, I worked in an MS call center a while back, and shortly after I left they were hiring literal homeless bums to work the call center floor. buddy of mine quit when he turned around so see them turning tricks with each other while working)

# ? Mar 17, 2015 15:24

Cool Dad: Jun 15, 2007; It is always Friday night, motherfuckers

Well that's the kind of go-getter entrepreneurial spirit we need to instill in the homeless population.

# ? Mar 17, 2015 15:40

J: Jun 10, 2001

Partycat posted:

Ticket comes in ...

Homeless people are coming into the building late at night and using our telephones . Can we stop them from being able to use the phone?

Hahaha what the gently caress?

# ? Mar 17, 2015 17:55

chemosh6969

Jul 3, 2004

code:
cat /dev/null > /etc/professionalism

_{_{I am in fact a massive asswagon.

Do not let me touch computer.}}

J posted:

Hahaha what the gently caress?

Who would homeless people be calling?

# ? Mar 17, 2015 19:28

GreenNight: Feb 19, 2006; Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

chemosh6969 posted:

Who would homeless people be calling?

Sex hotlines?

# ? Mar 17, 2015 19:50

duz: Jul 11, 2005; Come on Ilhan, lets go bag us a shitpost

chemosh6969 posted:

Who would homeless people be calling?

Friends and family. Or do you only use your phone in your house?

# ? Mar 17, 2015 19:59

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Renegret posted:

Web based.

It's BETTER because IT'S IN THE CLOUD even though it had the vast majority of it's features removed. I don't know if that's Remedy's fault or our implementation's fault, but I'm going to blame both.

A few years back when my place upgraded to what was at the time the current version of Remedy, our Remedy reps told us the version we were getting would be the last version with an actual client, so we should transition to the web version now so we could work out any bugs since otherwise at the next upgrade there'd be no client to fall back on. So the Remedy admins made everyone use the horrible web interface unless they could demonstrate an actual need for the client. And then Remedy backpeddled on the no-client thing, but of course we haven't upgraded since so it's moot anyway.

The worst thing about the web interface is that the idle timeout time is set to 15 minutes. I'm pretty sure that's configurable but our people won't change it because of ~*securtiy*~, even though the screen locks after 15 minutes too so it's not like someone's going to wander up hours later and start closing tickets or whatever our people are worried about happening. The end result is that no one even bothers to leave Remedy up anymore.

chemosh6969 posted:

Who would homeless people be calling?

Maybe Partycat's company has another site on the other side of town where their homelss firends are?

# ? Mar 17, 2015 20:32

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

Homelessfriendfinder.com hotline?

# ? Mar 17, 2015 21:15

TWBalls: Apr 16, 2003; My medication never lies

Not sure why this ticket made me chuckle as much as it did:

quote:

User needs to get his browser updated (IE) and to liberate some space on his computer

# ? Mar 17, 2015 21:40

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

bitterandtwisted posted:

One of our clients got hit by cryptowall 3 via an email attachment on Friday and another got it today. Two others reported getting the same email after we sent out a warning about it. Email in question was "please find my resume attached'.
Hmm, this isn't a word file or pdf but this file called hugo.js sounds legit, I'll just double click on this even though I'm not even in HR oh no why are there Help_Decrypt files in every folder on the shared drives.

Naturally, the mail filter and managed anti-virus did absolutely nothing.

I've been trying to read the whole thread since formally moving to our company's IT team, but I wanted to skip to the end to post this:

An email came in

Big Wig posted:

Fri 13/03/2015 2:56 p.m.
Not sure if this is OK to open. Never heard of the guy. Looks a bit weird. I will delete.

quote:
My name is Linwood Tate, attached is my resume.

I look forward to hearing back from you.

Thank you,
Linwood

An email goes out

Senior Tech posted:

Fri 13/03/2015 2:57 p.m.Yes delete it's a compressed file holding a virus.

Senior Tech and I have a quick conversation in which I say that something as obvious as javascript or scr in a zip file should not be making it through the mail system, the resolution of which is that I'll get on Exchange 365 and get some rules in place to make sure these sort of emails require manual approval from the IT team before users can possibly click something even in the case that they do make it past the multiple filters and anti-virus.

A ticket comes in

quote:

Created at 16/03/2015 11:33
Hi IT
There is a problem with Big Wig's Admin folder as I can�t seem to open the files. Can you have a look sometime?

Thanks
PA

If you guessed that the earliest Created On date of the many HELP_DECRYPT.TXT files Big Wig's computer created on our network shares was 13/03/2015 2:57pm :mad:

, congratulations. The only saving grace seems to be that he was logged in through Citrix and he ended his session before it made its way down the drive letters to our asset and project shares, so there was no "impact to business" other than the entire IT team being tied up restoring encrypted files for the rest of the day.

# ? Mar 17, 2015 23:43

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 13:25

Zero VGS: Aug 16, 2002; ASK ME ABOUT HOW HUMAN LIVES THAT MADE VIDEO GAME CONTROLLERS ARE WORTH MORE; Lipstick Apathy

If I want to display a single HDMI 1080p output from a laptop on like, 20 televisions across a few floors of the office, what is the best bet for that? One of these HDMI to Coax modulator thingies?: http://www.wiredathome.com/commercial-av-products/qam-modulators/pvi-vecoax-pro2-hd-dual-channel-rack-mount-hd-digital-rf-modulator/

# ? Mar 18, 2015 01:17

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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