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hubris.height
Jan 6, 2005

Pork Pro

hahahahahahahhaha i'm the hahahahahahahahaha adam sandler you loving idiot are you serious hahahahah

its like that cyberbullying tweet except its about giving adam sandler scripts, like just stop reading hahahahah

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Stux
Nov 17, 2006

The Taint Reaper posted:

No phone and tablet games suck hot garbage out of a putrid rear end.

nope theyre great and fun :)

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

i fought my Tiny Tower addiction and won and since then i have not played a telephone game.

Stux
Nov 17, 2006

as handhelds have moved on phones have taken up the space the original gameboy filled with a mixture of short puzzle/simple action games and RPGs and its good and cool.

Adam Bowen
Jan 6, 2003

This post probably contains a Rickroll link!
Stux'd again

corn in the bible
Jun 5, 2004

Oh no oh god it's all true!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87SoiSgyfCI

A Spider Covets
May 4, 2009


i like to play solitaire on my phone. i wish i had that old skiing game with the yeti on it though.

Stux
Nov 17, 2006

A Spider Covets posted:

i like to play solitaire on my phone. i wish i had that old skiing game with the yeti on it though.

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/skifree/id588839086?mt=8

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames
i dunno i think Monument Valley, the Kingdom Rush's, the Room/Room 2, and pixel dungeon are good and cool phone games

also that pixels movie could be good if it weren't Sandler and the king of queens and instead was seth rogen and james franco

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

A Spider Covets posted:

i like to play solitaire on my phone. i wish i had that old skiing game with the yeti on it though.
SkiFree

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

A Spider Covets posted:

i like to play solitaire on my phone. i wish i had that old skiing game with the yeti on it though.
That's weird, I don't remember your mom's vagina being in any skiing games.

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Stux posted:

as handhelds have moved on phones have taken up the space the original gameboy filled with a mixture of short puzzle/simple action games and RPGs and its good and cool.

what are some good ones.

i don't think they do well with RPG, i think they fill a puzzle niche where it's basically about mashing your finger on the screen and making numbers go up. i want one that involves slightly less mashing than tiny tower, though, so that i can also live my life while experiencing the unique pleasure of mindlessly leveling up.

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

there are good tablet/phone games. Hoplite is really good and fun

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

there are good tablet/phone games. Hoplite is really good and fun

can i tap it for five minutes like once every four hours to receive rewards?

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

I've been playing Calculords and it's interesting but I don't know if it's good.

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

Bicyclops posted:

can i tap it for five minutes like once every four hours to receive rewards?
I said Hoplite not my dick

A Spider Covets
May 4, 2009


FactsAreUseless posted:

That's weird, I don't remember your mom's vagina being in any skiing games.

its in all of them. are you blind?


im only gonna say this once, but god bless u stux

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames
80 Days and Sorcery! are also good and cool phone games if you're a nerd that still reads stuff

Lurdiak
Feb 26, 2006

I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.


Golden Goat posted:

You know it'd be nice if they did it like Panzer dragoon and made it all scenic and control a lot better but it's such a lovely shooting gallery.

Like I want to love Wonderful 101 and those bits where you fly around are really cool and dramatic the first time but on repeat playthroughs it's just loving torture because there's so many of them and they're so bad and no matter how many main-game upgrades you got you get zero advantage during them. I just want to surgically rip them out of every single game.

At least have the loving decency to not rank me on that poo poo.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

it's really good that the best and coolest boss fight in Bayonetta is at the end of the most protracted and terrible one of these yet

Revengeance still managed to cram in a 20-second space harrier bit in the Sundowner boss fight, it wasn't really a problem but they just can't loving help themselves lmao

:laffo: I didn't even think about that section.

How Rude
Aug 13, 2012


FUCK THIS SHIT
How much did they pay Nintendo to use Donkey Kong in that movie and Namco for Pac-man, because loving lol

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames

How Rude posted:

How much did they pay Nintendo to use Donkey Kong in that movie and Namco for Pac-man, because loving lol

Historically Donkey Kong has been crazy expensive to license because Nintendo can afford to be picky. Nintendo got fat stacks

Lurdiak
Feb 26, 2006

I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdxRTLA0r4s

Fergus Mac Roich
Nov 5, 2008

Soiled Meat
I seem to recall that Tiny Tower is not, in fact, a game

Sakurazuka
Jan 24, 2004

NANI?

i spent 69p on some coins for bejewelled blitz and really regret it

Adam Bowen
Jan 6, 2003

This post probably contains a Rickroll link!
It's a game because occasionally you have to press something

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

you actually are pressing fairly frequently if you want to save up tower bux, which is actually my complaint, as i would like to press more occasionally

CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!
I wish Tiny Tower was available for PC because I don't have a smartphone and it looks cute and I like watching numbers go up while I do other things :kiddo:

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

CJacobs posted:

I wish Tiny Tower was available for PC because I don't have a smartphone and it looks cute and I like watching numbers go up while I do other things :kiddo:

same, except i wish it was a browser game i could idly check from time to time.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Sakurazuka posted:

i spent 69p on some coins for bejewelled blitz and really regret it
Tetris Blitz is way better, there's more of a game there and it's more generous with letting you use powers.

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames
Tiny Tower Vegas is way better than Tiny Tower

it's like the differrence between gta3 and Vice City

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

uh are we claiming the vice city is the better game here? dunno about that one...

Excels
Mar 7, 2012

Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!
a friend and i once tried to sit through Grown Ups 2, just to gaze into the abyss that was modern Sandler

in the first 5 seconds of the movie, a CGI deer pisses all over his face and proceeds to destroy his house

and then it transitions to a completely different scene where a black baby does a "comical" CGI-enhanced dookie in his diaper.

that's as far as we got

VideoGames
Aug 18, 2003

Bicyclops posted:

uh are we claiming the vice city is the better game here? dunno about that one...

vice city's soundtrack alone propels it above GTA3

Heavy Lobster
Oct 24, 2010

:gowron::m10:
Wordament is my favorite mobile game

Crossy Road is pretty much literally Frogger but in voxels

Rayman Jungle Run is insanely dope and it being relegated to mobile is an absolute shame

Super Hexagon is great and also there's a mobile port of VVVVVV if you want more Cavanagh

Bicyclops posted:

uh are we claiming the vice city is the better game here? dunno about that one...

It's.

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames

Excels posted:

a friend and i once tried to sit through Grown Ups 2, just to gaze into the abyss that was modern Sandler

in the first 5 seconds of the movie, a CGI deer pisses all over his face and proceeds to destroy his house

and then it transitions to a completely different scene where a black baby does a "comical" CGI-enhanced dookie in his diaper.

that's as far as we got

you should listen to the podcast where the two guys watch Grown Ups 2 once a week for a year and go progressively insane

codenameFANGIO
May 4, 2012

What are you even booing here?

Bicyclops posted:

uh are we claiming the vice city is the better game here? dunno about that one...

Vice City is definitely the better game.

Oddly enough I am playing GTA III right now, so I am speaking with authority.

Heavy Lobster
Oct 24, 2010

:gowron::m10:
Speaking of Grand Theft Autos, GTA3, VC, and San Andreas are all available on mobile as well. Playing them on a touchscreen is probably miserable, but if you'd like to, you can. Dragon Quests 1 through I think 5 are also available which would handle better and are much better as mobile titles.

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Heavy Lobster posted:

Speaking of Grand Theft Autos, GTA3, VC, and San Andreas are all available on mobile as well. Playing them on a touchscreen is probably miserable, but if you'd like to, you can. Dragon Quests 1 through I think 5 are also available which would handle better and are much better as mobile titles.

Are the first 3 DQs the remix additions? The remix for DQ 3 is so much goddamn better than the original

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

Heavy Lobster posted:

Speaking of Grand Theft Autos, GTA3, VC, and San Andreas are all available on mobile as well. Playing them on a touchscreen is probably miserable, but if you'd like to, you can. Dragon Quests 1 through I think 5 are also available which would handle better and are much better as mobile titles.
So is VIII, but it's based on the Japanese release meaning no voice acting

Still, play VIII because it's really good. So is V

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Excels
Mar 7, 2012

Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!
i had more fun with the FFXII demo bundled into DQ8 than the game itself.

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