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what in the actual gently caress hiddenmovement
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Mar 19, 2015 14:10
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CrazyTolradi posted:You'd have to be pretty loving oblivious to not notice, or just not give a poo poo about anyone but yourself. Take your pick. it is a pretty normal social phenomenon. not a good one but it's not limited to the dull or callous.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:11
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I like Brisbane. It is okay.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:14
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Anidav posted:I like Brisbane. It is okay. yeah as a straight white guy brisbane is alright i guess. if you don't go out at night.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:15
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thatbastardken posted:it is a pretty normal social phenomenon. not a good one but it's not limited to the dull or callous. So, the majority of people are just poo poo?
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Mar 19, 2015 14:16
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thatbastardken posted:
Much better.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:16
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I have never smelt pee on a bus. I did throw up on a bus once but that was motion sickness! The driver had a vomit bag because Brisbane is a nice city and we're all in this together.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:17
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CrazyTolradi posted:So, the majority of people are just poo poo? not...exactly? basically, and especially in public places or groups, we take longer to notice and react to emergency situations than we like to think we would. read the wiki article about bystander effect, it explains it pretty well.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:19
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hiddenmovement posted:Yes, that's the gist of it. But usually the bystander effect gets painted as this awful dreadful thing, the product of an apathetic and selfish society. It's really just an extension of pretty basic social rules. Is it my place to intervene? What if it's not a big deal, what if I'm just interrupting a normal argument between a couple? Then you've mildly embarrassed yourself, and no one will remember or care in a couple of hours. But when someone's threatening to rape and murder their partner and then whips their cock out, that's still domestic violence and it is your job as a member of society to help. If you've not interrupted a normal argument, you've just interrupted someone committing assault and given support to the victim of that assault. I'm willing to cop the mild embarrassment on the off-chance that I'm intervening in a serious assault or abuse, and it is terrifying to me that not only are you this oblivious, but you also see no problem with that. Fruity Gordo fucked around with this message at 14:21 on Mar 19, 2015 |
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Mar 19, 2015 14:19
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Anidav posted:I have never smelt pee on a bus. I did throw up on a bus once but that was motion sickness! The driver had a vomit bag because Brisbane is a nice city and we're all in this together. Yes, you are all in brisbane together. The rest of us thank the cosmos every day for that fact.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:19
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Like how hard is it to say to the distressed party "Are you okay? Is this person making you feel unsafe?"
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Mar 19, 2015 14:20
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Fruity Gordo posted:Then you've mildly embarrassed yourself, and no one will remember or care in a couple of hours. or you get the poo poo kicked out of you by some crazy drunken rear end in a top hat whose girlfriend is probably going to help him curb stomp you. quote:But when someone's threatening to rape and murder their partner and then whips their cock out, that's still domestic violence and it is your job as a member of society to help. If you've not interrupted a normal argument, you've just interrupted someone committing assault and given support to the victim of that assault. It's hard for people to take risks to help other people. this is why we remember and lionize people who do.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:26
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Gough Suppressant posted:Like how hard is it to say to the distressed party "Are you okay? Is this person making you feel unsafe?" loving hard. how many times have you done it?
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Mar 19, 2015 14:26
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Anidav posted:I have never smelt pee on a bus. I did throw up on a bus once but that was motion sickness! The driver had a vomit bag because Brisbane is a nice city and we're all in this together. The corner of Albert and Adelaide Streets smell like piss every morning. Also it's not uncommon on trains on a Friday or Saturday night. Usually though, it's just rugby players pissing on themselves. Fruity Gordo posted:Then you've mildly embarrassed yourself, and no one will remember or care in a couple of hours. But when someone's threatening to rape and murder their partner and then whips their cock out, that's still domestic violence and it is your job as a member of society to help. If you've not interrupted a normal argument, you've just interrupted someone committing assault and given support to the victim of that assault. Gough Suppressant posted:Like how hard is it to say to the distressed party "Are you okay? Is this person making you feel unsafe?" These are both excellent posts. If you're not doing these things, you're enabling domestic violence. By intervening, you risk at worst some embarrassment, at best you prevent abuse. Bolded the last part because yeah, that is terrifying and not something you should be proclaiming proudly.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:27
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thatbastardken posted:loving hard. how many times have you done it? twice, both at richmond station (richmond station is loving godawful)
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Mar 19, 2015 14:29
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If I'm sitting at a bus stop looking off into the distance / checking my phone / listening to something, I've got gently caress all chance to notice something horrible going on in my peripheral vision unless it gets completely rowdy. I'm completely clueless about stuff going on in front of me most of the time - I'm a very internalised person.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:30
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how did it work out? I'm not familiar with richmond station. was it an assault in progress or what?
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Mar 19, 2015 14:31
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Lol if you think I'm getting between a nut bag and his rape victim. I'm gonna chill over here pretending not to see him piss at you out the corner of my eye. I got places to be!
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Mar 19, 2015 14:33
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I hope this conversation is helping some people realise why assault/rape/murder happens without anyone stopping it and why women don't feel safe even in the most well-lit, well-populated public areas.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:34
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thatbastardken posted:how did it work out? I'm not familiar with richmond station. was it an assault in progress or what? they were both one sided yelling matches with the other side in tears. one time the dude left and seemed embarassed, the other time she said she was okay so I just stood obviously within earshot and that seemed to stop him from arcing up again. I feel guilty about the second one because for all I know when they got off the train he started up worse than before.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:35
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GoldStandardConure posted:kill all men
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Mar 19, 2015 14:37
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I tried offering a wheelchaired man help once. He was in a manual wheelchair and was having trouble getting up a slope. So much that he somehow got out of his wheelchair and started using his dying legs to walk the wheelchair up the hill. I saw this and offered my hand but all I got was "You don't understand, go away" in a Bale Batman voice. I kept walking and a few minutes later his legs collapsed and he faceplanted himself into the cement. I dialed 000 and he got help but he kept on mumbling to me about how he hates help from normal people. Ambulence took him. Never saw him again.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:37
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Avshalom posted:I hope this conversation is helping some people realise why assault/rape/murder happens without anyone stopping it and why women don't feel safe even in the most well-lit, well-populated public areas. yeah it's pretty awful Gough Suppressant posted:they were both one sided yelling matches with the other side in tears. one time the dude left and seemed embarassed, the other time she said she was okay so I just stood obviously within earshot and that seemed to stop him from arcing up again. I feel guilty about the second one because for all I know when they got off the train he started up worse than before. that's a pretty common problem with intervening in domestic disputes, abusers can wait to take out their humiliation on their victim until the support person leaves. not to say you did the wrong thing in either case.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:38
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Anidav posted:Brisbane is a good city friend. Been there, mate. Nope.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:39
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Murodese posted:Been there, mate. Nope. It was better after you left. 
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Mar 19, 2015 14:40
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Murodese posted:Been there, mate. Nope. Brisbane certainly isn't for the soft, Murodese. Hope the hail didn't hurt you too much. Anidav posted:It was better after you left. 
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Mar 19, 2015 14:40
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Look, I think we can all agree that if all men were allowed to carry firearms it would greatly lower the bar to intervention in hostile situations such as rapes-in-progress
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Mar 19, 2015 14:40
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not all men
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Mar 19, 2015 14:41
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Anidav posted:It was better after you left. This is literally true, because I was there for 2 days and in that time you got smashed by a storm that did over a billion dollars worth of damage. That's my loving gift to you, mate. They call me the reaper, because death follows in my wake (and kills Queenslanders)
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Mar 19, 2015 14:41
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Then you missed a spot.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:42
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Sorry, not even I can kill enough people to form a job vacancy for you.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:43
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It's okay. I found a vacancy between your ears.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:44
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Anidav posted:It's okay. I found a vacancy between your ears. RIP Murodese, not even he could recover from such a burn.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:45
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also you should probably take my advice with a grain of salt since I used to carry a knife in my hand inside my hoodie pocket coming home from work late on the frankston line, made me feel a lot safer despite recognising logically that it probably has the opposite effect
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Mar 19, 2015 14:45
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Anidav posted:It's okay. I found a vacancy between your ears. I'd pay points for this, but CrazyTolradi spent so much time beating this up in IRC that I thought it was going to actually be a good burn and was bitterly disappointed 
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Mar 19, 2015 14:47
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Gough Suppressant posted:also you should probably take my advice with a grain of salt since I used to carry a knife in my hand inside my hoodie pocket coming home from work late on the frankston line, made me feel a lot safer despite recognising logically that it probably has the opposite effect I ostentatiously carry my keys like a knuckleduster 
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Mar 19, 2015 14:49
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I listen to loud-ish music and daydream/read news articles and poo poo on my phone a lot of the time when I'm out and about but I'm pretty sure a literal assault/rape taking place metres away would get my attention because I'm not a goony gently caress that actively tries to avoid human contact
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Mar 19, 2015 14:50
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It feels unfair to put the onus for stopping assaults on ordinary guys, but the police can't be everywhere (talking about non-corrupt non-evil police of course) and there's not really anybody else to take responsibility for it. Someone has to do it. As a white person I feel obligated to stand up to racist abusers on behalf of non-white people, and unfortunately non-abusive men sometimes have to stand up to abusive men on behalf of women (or other men, or children, or whoever it is that they're abusing), for the simple reason that they're less likely to kill us than whoever it is that they're abusing. Also I'd like to laud Fruity as a person who actively battles racism and misogyny on late-night public transport, probably the most terrifying venue outside of a literal neo-Nazi convention.
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Mar 19, 2015 14:55
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(Fruity is so cool)
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Mar 19, 2015 14:57
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Avshalom posted:(Fruity is so cool)
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Mar 19, 2015 15:00
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