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serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.

sassassin posted:

If more english players could adapt to playing abroad they wouldn't have this problem.

Seems playing away was the cause of this issue!

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Ninpo
Aug 6, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

sassassin posted:

If more english players could adapt to playing abroad they wouldn't have this problem.

Playing a broad is why he's in this mess!

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.
You'll never recover from this.

jyrka
Jan 21, 2005


Potato Count: 2 small potatoes
Are there any juicy details out yet on the sex?

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
Bit weird mate

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009

jyrka posted:

Are there any juicy details out yet on the sex?

He got to the edge of the box and shot wide.

Reprisal
Jul 20, 2001

jyrka posted:

Are there any juicy details out yet on the sex?

he took full advantage of a shaky defense

paddyboat
Feb 20, 2013

Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

Bobby Digital posted:

He got to the edge of the box and shot wide.

You can't win anything with kids.

Lenin Riefenstahl
Sep 18, 2003

That's enough! Out of here, you tubs of beer!
He's one of the fastest players in the league, it was over in a flash

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?
His sex is so bad his girlfriend has him training with the kids.

TwoDogs1Cup
May 28, 2008

DOUGIE DOUGIE DOUGIE! MY LOVE, HE MAKES MY EMPTY HEART FULL! DOUGIE! THE BEST FOREVER THE BEST DOUGIEEE! <3 <3 - TwoDougies1Cup

Masonity posted:

His sex is so bad his girlfriend has him training with the kids.

POTM

JorahTheExplorer
Oct 23, 2013

You aren't my Alves, Afonso Alves,
you make me sa-aad when sky's are blue,
and Georgie Best, cost fucking less,
so please take my Alves away.

Masonity posted:

His sex is so bad his girlfriend has him training with the kids.

POTY

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.

Masonity posted:

His sex is so bad his girlfriend has him training with the kids.

jre
Sep 2, 2011

To the cloud ?



Masonity posted:

His sex is so bad his girlfriend has him training with the kids.

:stonklol:

Lord of Garbagemen
Jan 28, 2014

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Masonity posted:

His sex is so bad his girlfriend has him training with the kids.

:vince::vince::vince::vince::vince::vince::vince::vince::vince:

Hardflip
Jul 21, 2007

https://twitter.com/gazza8gascoigne

Gazza wasn't very happy with a parody twitter account apparently

http://www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/update/2014-05-19/gazzas-twitter-row-with-fake-account/

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011


Do you think he's going to be hosed like her legs Gazza?

paddyboat
Feb 20, 2013

Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me
It's amazing how unfunny that Twitter is. I mean it's Gazza, who is inherently funny.

Ninpo
Aug 6, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
That's quite a meltdown :stare:

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


Are you taking notes?

Ninpo
Aug 6, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

St Evan Echoes posted:

Are you taking notes?

Idgi?

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


Oh it was just a dumb joke about the old "nice meltdown Ninpo" meme

Manc Hill
Jul 19, 2001




^^this is u ^^this is me

nice meltdown

St Evan Echoes posted:

Oh it was just a dumb joke about the old "nice meltdown Ninpo" meme

nice meltdown

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

That exceeds any meltdown I have posted in TRP

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-32217880

Is there anything more shameful than going to Harrods? Apparently there is.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire

Tsaedje posted:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-32217880

Is there anything more shameful than going to Harrods? Apparently there is.

This is what happens when you live in Liverpool, Napoli, Palermo and Sunderland over the course of a few years.

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008

by Cyrano4747
When he heard leyton for a fiver he didn't expect it to be at HMP Holloway

Weaponized Cum
Aug 31, 2004


This post brought to you by the finest Miami cocaine money can buy ----->
:munch:

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/apr/10/chelsea-wallace-arrested-vitesse-arnhem

The young Chelsea full-back Wallace was arrested in the early hours of Friday morning in Arnhem city centre and questioned by local police investigating allegations of a sexual offence.

The Brazilian, signed from Fluminense in 2013, is one of three Chelsea players on loan at Vitesse, who are fifth in the Eredivisie. The 20-year-old was reportedly detained by police at around 4am and, having been out fewer than 48 hours before a league game, has been fined the maximum possible amount by the Dutch club and dropped for Saturday’s game against Excelsior in Rotterdam.

“We still don’t know what exactly happened,” Paul Koetsier, a police spokesman, told NTL. “That must be found out during the investigation. We can’t make it more concrete than a suspicion of a sexual offence.”

The player has featured 15 times this season, scoring once, with the Dutch club having already indicated they are not interested in retaining his services next season. Vitesse confirmed the player would be omitted from their squad for the weekend fixture and they intend to speak to him to determine what took place.

“We understand that Wallace was arrested on suspicion of an offence,” said a club spokesman. “We will not speculate on the nature of the suspicion. First the facts need to be clear and we want to hear his side of the story. Then we can judge.”

Chelsea, who had loaned the Brazil Under-20 full-back to Internazionale for a period last season, declined to comment.

Hashtag Banterzone
Dec 8, 2005


Lifetime Winner of the willkill4food Honorary Bad Posting Award in PWM
Proof that young players that sign with Chelsea don't just disappear like everyone says they do

britishbornandbread
Jul 8, 2000

You'll stumble in my footsteps

Weaponized Cum posted:



The player has featured 15 times this season, scoring once.

Make that twice.

Allegedly.

Weaponized Cum
Aug 31, 2004


This post brought to you by the finest Miami cocaine money can buy ----->
:munch:

This is funnier than other stories, no arrests or abuse, but still relevant to the thread IMO.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/football-player-sacked-sex-fan-5551340 posted:


Jay Hart Caught off-side: Jay Hart scored with fan

A semi-professional footballer has been sacked after he was filmed having sex with a supporter in the manager’s dug-out.

Striker Jay Hart can be heard laughing on the mobile phone footage as he was caught still in his club T-shirt with his tracksuit bottoms around his legs.

Father-of-two Hart, 24, scored with the woman after his team slumped to a 4-1 defeat. His team Clitheroe had been playing away at Mossley AFC, who had promoted their final game of the season as a “ladies day” to attract more female supporters.

Daily MirrorJay HartSacked: Jay Hart has been given boot by Clitheroe football Club
The face of the fan cannot be seen. Within hours of the footage being circulated to team-mates and fans Hart was sacked by the club, who play in Evo-Stik Division 1 North.

Club chairwoman Anne Barker, said that Hart had brought the club into disrepute. She said “Any players, while wearing a Clitheroe tracksuit, represents the club .

“We expect a certain level of behaviour and discipline. And that wasn’t it.”

Hart, of Accrington, Lancs, said: “I’m full of regret. I’d had a couple of drinks. I was away from everyone and thought I was hidden.”

Clitheroe boss Simon Garner has also told Hart to return his club tracksuit.

dex_sda
Oct 11, 2012


Clitheroe

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008

by Cyrano4747
I wouldn't want the tracksuit back if a guy had been bumping uglies in it

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY
https://twitter.com/robpye95/status/590109207363514369

god lol

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005


Holy poo poo.

paddyboat
Feb 20, 2013

Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

dex_sda posted:

Clitheroe

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

loving amazing

atomic gog
Apr 11, 2005


Winner June 2013 POTM
Hahaha

Weaponized Cum
Aug 31, 2004


This post brought to you by the finest Miami cocaine money can buy ----->

nice moves

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African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Ok where's the vid?

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