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So today is my final day of work at this company before I move. How is this as a goodbye letter to the people I've worked closely with and actually like: quote:Everyone, Apologies if this is the wrong thread, but uh... there's like 4 threads about corporate poo poo and I'd like this letter not to read like an atrocity that would get posted about in here.
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Apr 6, 2015 16:33
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Looks fine. Post what you are sending to the people you don't like. 
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Apr 6, 2015 16:35
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I would honestly send a less formal version of that, but that reads fine.
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Apr 6, 2015 16:41
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Pleads posted:Looks fine. Post what you are sending to the people you don't like. quote:Adios, Fuckers e: EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:I would honestly send a less formal version of that, but that reads fine. I thought that was pretty informal. I was thinking about making fun of the excessive amounts of beer and cheese I had to consume to fit in up here, but I didn't know if that would be in poor taste.
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Apr 6, 2015 16:42
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Sundae posted:
My boss says "it is what it is" all the time and I hate it. No, "it is what it is" because we didn't do poo poo to change it. A little introspection will go a long way. No Butt Stuff posted:So today is my final day of work at this company before I move. Please actually sign this No Butt Stuff.
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Apr 6, 2015 16:42
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No Butt Stuff posted:e: It's for sure not super formal! I guess I write personal-ish emails a bit more conversationally, and it would depend on how many people are at the company.
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Apr 6, 2015 16:47
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Somebody keeps printing out homeopathic health tips and putting them up in the kitchen area. We're a loving health insurance company 
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Apr 6, 2015 16:52
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EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:It's for sure not super formal! I guess I write personal-ish emails a bit more conversationally, and it would depend on how many people are at the company. Well, some of the people getting it I'm not close with, but I've worked with on a project or two, and I don't want to burn any bridges by being too chummy. Honestly, the friends I have here I've been celebrating with for like 3 weeks straight, so it's more just a place for them to keep my personal e-mail.
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Apr 6, 2015 16:58
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One of my former contract reports wrote out his resignation e-mail in English, translated it into Italian below, and then signed it when he sent it out to everyone last year. Catch: He sent it to our team in Puerto Rico, not to the one in Italy.  Guy was brilliant, but he wasn't the best with them new-fangled computers.I'm also actually a little pissed at him because he left without turning in any of his data files to me. Corporate HQ took the laptop back and wiped it without giving me a chance to get the data off of it. Six months of data auditing down the drain. 
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Apr 6, 2015 17:25
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I love communication chains. I work an an ISP. We have two groups who work hand in hand to resolve field outages. OSP (Outside Plant) deal with cables out on the streets. ISP (Inside Plant) deal with everything inside the remote Head Ends, where the cables all eventually lead to. If OSP needs ISP assistance, the process is as follows: OSP escalates to the ROC and provides them with whatever information is necessary. The ROC relays that information to the Comm Desk. The Comm Desk notifies me. I page out ISP using an antiquated paging system that more or less just sends the on call guy and his supervisor an e-mail with a 5 minute delay. ISP will call us back within 30 minutes with an ETA to the site if it's unmanned, or if it is manned, just to acknowledge the page. All this for a customer facing outage that requires immediate attention. At worst, the escalation will take an hour, the entire time our customers are out and the tech is out in the field waiting, doing nothing. What really happens is that OSP gets frustrated with the ridiculous communication chain and just calls the drat site himself because it's a loving building with a working phone in it and holy poo poo our customers are out let's just fix the drat thing. What winds up happening is that by the time ISP receives my page, not only is it fixed, they're in the process of writing out their closure report. The best part is that these head ends are giant EMI hotboxes, so cell phone reception in them is, at best, lovely. If you follow the process correctly, they may not even receive the page until the tech steps outside. Every day I get questioned "Why did you page me on something that's already fixed?" and my only response is "The ~*~SOP~*~ tells me to" which I can't stand, but you all know what happens the one time you cut a corner on a SOP. Luckily it works well enough during off hours when we need to notify the on call, which is when it really matters most. e: I left some TLAs out of that. What kind of monster have I become 
Renegret fucked around with this message at 17:35 on Apr 6, 2015 |
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Apr 6, 2015 17:30
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ufsteph posted:You sound like an rear end who is much more concerned with being right than helping your employee. Can't change the past, can you? Either way. So, being proven right is certainly very important to me at the moment. Edit: And no, I was already aware of the leanings of the community here. The rules were also stated at the point of account purchase. John Smith fucked around with this message at 18:44 on Apr 6, 2015 |
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Apr 6, 2015 18:34
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Defenestration posted:Ok I'm going to say this again: Yes. Yes. I will think about it.
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Apr 6, 2015 18:35
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Volmarias posted:Would you say, then, that Hitler had a few good ideas? Certainly.
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Apr 6, 2015 18:37
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Renegret posted:Hey truck equity was really funny. I realise that. And this is actually round 2 of the exact same topic. I vaguely remember an older chap who had a go-around on this exact topic at this exact thread some time back.
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Apr 6, 2015 18:39
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Did he post 4 times in a row to defend poo poo that people are sick of hearing about too?
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Apr 6, 2015 18:45
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FYI, "John Smith," using a tone argument against people trying to show you how serious a problem harassment is is a move that only makes you look like a giant prick. You should stop posting about your stupid problem we already opined about for ages or else you might come down with a bad case of red textitis. In other news, I discovered at work today that this year we can only take vacation as it accrues, when in the past we all had X number of hours per year available any time. I'm sure having everyone in the accounting firm take tons of vacation right at the end of the year will work out really well! 
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Apr 6, 2015 18:49
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Xibanya posted:FYI, "John Smith," using a tone argument against people trying to show you how serious a problem harassment is is a move that only makes you look like a giant prick. What tone argument? I did "conclude" with a post acknowledging the feedback, but people keep posting more.
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Apr 6, 2015 19:02
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Last Monday I assign the two of you to write a page-ish for our midterm report, and give you until Thursday to do it. Both of you then bail on our report consolidation meeting Thursday afternoon, but that's fine because it's a three day weekend and surely you must be almost done writing, right? Just send your respective pages to me over the weekend and I can graft them together and we can go over it all on Monday before the whole report is due on Tuesday. Monday morning rolls around, I haven't heard from one of you and the other one sends me a paragraph where you just copied your meeting notes verbatim into Word. So now it's on me to both write the missing section AND re-write the section I did get because it's in half-broken prose. This is not college, your poo poo needs to be vetted and in on-time when we agree to do so. I probably should have just written the entire thing myself like I thought about doing, but considering I'm leaving the company next month and you two will be in charge of wrapping this thing up, I thought you should start taking a larger part in how it plays out. Nope!
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Apr 6, 2015 19:15
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C-Euro posted:Last Monday I assign the two of you to write a page-ish for our midterm report, and give you until Thursday to do it. Both of you then bail on our report consolidation meeting Thursday afternoon, but that's fine because it's a three day weekend and surely you must be almost done writing, right? Just send your respective pages to me over the weekend and I can graft them together and we can go over it all on Monday before the whole report is due on Tuesday. Thank you for the content. It is greatly appreciated.
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Apr 6, 2015 19:29
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MickeyFinn posted:My boss says "it is what it is" all the time and I hate it. No, "it is what it is" because we didn't do poo poo to change it. A little introspection will go a long way. I used to hear that a lot from an rear end in a top hat who would talk for hours about doing work, then pawn responsibilities onto others, after which he would 'review' the work and take all the credit. I guess he had everything figured out, in the sense that he would come across as so maddeningly loving annoying that you'd do anything to not be in the same room as him, including his job. Why do the work in one hour when you can spend three hours talking about doing the work!? He also called repeatedly for SITREPs, began every goddamned sentence with "So..." and completely overused "It is what it is," to which I'd respond "Yeah, but it's not what it isn't." Now that I think more about it, perhaps he did stuff like that merely because he could - he probably knew it got under everyone's skin, which only further encouraged him. It's one thing if you're smart and kinda assholish about it, it's another thing if you're not that bright and humble - please don't be stupid and an rear end in a top hat.
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Apr 6, 2015 19:30
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hooliganesh posted:It's one thing if you're smart and kinda assholish about it, it's another thing if you're not that bright and humble - please don't be stupid and an rear end in a top hat. Oh man, we have one guy here who's really smart, and equally an rear end in a top hat. I have no idea how he gets away with some of the poo poo he pulls but it's fantastic to be a witness. My favorite event was when he once demanded that Marketing not sound out a previously approved mass e-mail (we're talking hundreds of thousands) due to a technical limitation we were under caused by an outage situation we found ourselves in. When they refused, he straight up blocked all e-mail traffic coming from the marketing department 5 minutes before the mass e-mail was scheduled to go out, and left the block there until they agreed to cooperate. Sure he was technically in the right, but if it's one thing I learned about corporate life, it's that you do not gently caress with marketing, especially on a scale like that. Guy was a total rear end about it too, it was a real treat to watch that unfold.
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Apr 6, 2015 19:39
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MickeyFinn posted:My boss says "it is what it is" all the time and I hate it. No, "it is what it is" because we didn't do poo poo to change it. A little introspection will go a long way. It really depends on what you're talking about, sometimes it's appropriate IMO, like when someone has terminal cancer.
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Apr 6, 2015 19:42
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Nail Rat posted:It really depends on what you're talking about, sometimes it's appropriate IMO, like when someone has terminal cancer. Sure, but "it is what it is" only ever comes up when the organizational gently caress up of the week means that something didn't get done at all. At my work, the phase represents both a failure to act and a failure to attempt to learn anything what-so-ever about why the first failure occurred.
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Apr 6, 2015 20:01
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John Smith posted:I made four posts in a row! Dude, you can quote multiple posts in the same post. And you should if you have multiple posts to address, just so it doesn't clutter up the thread. See, watch me do it: Solkanar512 posted:"It is what it is" is the most useless waste of oxygen phrase I can think of. It's always used to describe a situation where the person saying it could change the situation but won't because they don't feel like it. I'm glad I'm not the only who feels this way. I always want to ask the person who said it why they opened their mouths in the first place if they were going to say nothing at all. And yeah, the people who say it always seem to say it to avoid taking action. kaishek posted:I almost forgot that we have mandatory 1 hour meetings every day for all personnel to "sync" that is effectively a world news roundup. I am just now starting work, at 10:51 am. They aren't officially one hour, but they "take however long they take". Oh oh oh do they use the term "zulu time?" Please tell me they say zulu time, I need a laugh.
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Apr 6, 2015 20:27
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1500quidporsche posted:Somebody keeps printing out homeopathic health tips and putting them up in the kitchen area. Replace them with homeopathic body building tips: magic water posted:Are you skinny? Do guys bully you and girls laugh at you? Drink water: it was once dinosaur piss! Become butch like a t-rex with new water!
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Apr 6, 2015 20:43
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rolleyes posted:Replace them with homeopathic body building tips: "Constipated? Jam your thumb up your rear end, sit down on it, and spin around. In fact, just do that even if you aren't."
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Apr 6, 2015 20:59
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Renegret posted:I love "Value" because I work for an ISP. Ooh ooh, which ISP do you work for? Cable or Telco? We could swap stories. edit: Oh, you actually work on the network. That's boring stuff compared to selling it! 
Radbot fucked around with this message at 22:21 on Apr 6, 2015 |
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Apr 6, 2015 22:11
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I use "it is what it is" or variations thereof pretty much every day... But only when I'm getting poo poo on for situations I can't control. Weather being a big one, or when someone uses magic words (you know that annoying poo poo where they go "does not feel safe" or "unsafe in my professional opinion" or...). For some reason that and a shrug gets management off our back pretty fast. We also use military time all the time, but that's because all our poo poo is in 24 hours, the way God intended. Now if we could convince all of our customers to adopt the metric system...
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Apr 6, 2015 22:40
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1500quidporsche posted:Somebody keeps printing out homeopathic health tips and putting them up in the kitchen area. Hmm...sounds like the health insurance company where I work. I just always assume it's one of the CSRs.
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Apr 6, 2015 23:11
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1500quidporsche posted:Somebody keeps printing out homeopathic health tips and putting them up in the kitchen area. Didn't you get the memo? Those tips are your new health plan. 
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Apr 6, 2015 23:42
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Also your new compensation package.
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Apr 7, 2015 00:22
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docbeard posted:Also your new compensation package. seems watered down...
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Apr 7, 2015 00:32
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Renegret posted:Thank you for the content. It is greatly appreciated. I actually enjoy writing so I don't necessarily mind it, but how do you make it this far in your career if you can't stick to a deadline? Even after I double the time you have to write? And though I'm the lead on this project, both of them have seniority over me within the company so what does that mean? Am I the fuckup for wanting our stuff to be done on-time? We pride ourselves as a company on close collaboration with our customers, but if we have to work on something within the company no one can be arsed to follow through on anything. Seems like a great way for the company to break down but I'm leaving in a month so all I care about now is making myself look good, and these two are trying to cramp my style. VV Aw 
C-Euro fucked around with this message at 03:01 on Apr 7, 2015 |
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Apr 7, 2015 00:46
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C-Euro posted:Am I the fuckup for wanting our stuff to be done on-time? Yep.
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Apr 7, 2015 01:06
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Thought you guys and gals would appreciate this story on the infamous Cisco hold music.
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Apr 7, 2015 02:01
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Sundae posted:The value added one gets me pissed more than Is What It Is, but the entire concept in general of corporate language makes me want to bitch-slap someone. I actually have an 'It Is What It Is' sign on the wall of my cube to remind me not to strangle overseas admins when they cut tickets to have us do five second remote jobs they have permissions to do themselves, and find them already logged into the box in question.
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Apr 7, 2015 02:08
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Che Delilas posted:Oh oh oh do they use the term "zulu time?" Please tell me they say zulu time, I need a laugh. Sadly, they do not use "Zulu". They do use the phrase "battle rhythm" with a straight face. We just had a 6 hour meeting about it, in fact. EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:Oh cool you work at my work, where our daily standup meetings are 1-2 hours long, in a boardroom, sitting down while people talk about their evenings. I have to actually stand up for the duration. I can lean against a low wall if I'm feeling fancy.
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Apr 7, 2015 02:10
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Cup of Hemlock posted:Thought you guys and gals would appreciate this story on the infamous Cisco hold music. I can't stand the Cisco hold music. It creeps me the hell out
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Apr 7, 2015 02:25
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dennyk posted:Didn't you get the memo? Those tips are your new health plan. You joke but standard boilerplate poo poo in all the health plans I quote are better then my health plan. The homeopathy health tips probably ranks up there with requests to cover Christian Science practitioners.
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Apr 7, 2015 03:05
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No Butt Stuff posted:So today is my final day of work at this company before I move. This works too: 
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Apr 7, 2015 03:06
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