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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

«‹›14088 »

Deep Hurting: Jan 19, 2006

Plexiwatt posted:

Indiana (or Arkansas) Jihad is an excellent name for many things such as adult film stars, journalists, or bands.

Indiana Jihad and the Last Crusade.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 00:27

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 08:21

ex post facho: Oct 25, 2007

I still don't understand how Bhabi Jindal got elected in loving Louisiana

# ? Apr 11, 2015 00:28

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; I'm helping!

a shameful boehner posted:

I still don't understand how Bhabi Jindal got elected in loving Louisiana

Racist Louisianians don't have any strong opinions for or against Indians, or Hispanics and Native Americans for that matter. They just really, really hate black people. At best, the middle-aged whites there grew up in a time where making friends with black people was taboo, so they'll be polite to black people but can't imagine socializing with them.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 00:33

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

By the way, Marco's still using that loving picture. :negative:

:negative:

# ? Apr 11, 2015 00:37

site: Apr 6, 2007; Trans pride, Worldwide
Bitch

The easier to Photoshop the better.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 00:43

Killer robot: Sep 6, 2010; I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it!; Pillbug

Chamale posted:

Racist Louisianians don't have any strong opinions for or against Indians, or Hispanics and Native Americans for that matter. They just really, really hate black people. At best, the middle-aged whites there grew up in a time where making friends with black people was taboo, so they'll be polite to black people but can't imagine socializing with them.

It goes further than that. Modern racism isn't even about never associating with or respecting black people, it's about expecting them to prove they're "one of the good ones" in ways that white people aren't. Not that there aren't right-wing racists that straight up wouldn't support voting for a black candidate, but most, in truth as well as talk, just expect him to jump through the hoops to show he's not one of that kind.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 01:43

Bizarro Kanyon: Jan 3, 2007; Something Awful, so easy even a spaceman can do it!

Joementum posted:

By the way, Marco's still using that loving picture.

Just wait until Rubio starts using the "Hillary announced to steal my thunder because she is afraid of me" lines.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 02:05

Armani: Jun 22, 2008; Now it's been 17 summers since I've seen my mother

But every night I see her smile inside my dreams

site posted:

Is it normal for attack ads to start this early. I mean, I get that the Republican party is eating itself and all, but these had to have been ready to go before Rand ever announced and it's so goddamn early in the season it just seems absurd to launch them.

Think of the early ads as this baby pug - lots of joyful circles then tires itself out, to much mirth and merriment.

http://youtu.be/KRA20qWmAR4

Let them tucker themselves out. :3

# ? Apr 11, 2015 02:28

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; I'm helping!

Killer robot posted:

It goes further than that. Modern racism isn't even about never associating with or respecting black people, it's about expecting them to prove they're "one of the good ones" in ways that white people aren't. Not that there aren't right-wing racists that straight up wouldn't support voting for a black candidate, but most, in truth as well as talk, just expect him to jump through the hoops to show he's not one of that kind.

I think it depends on the racist. I have relatives in Louisiana who don't have any black friends and make sure they keep it that way. The idea that there are some "good ones" is only a rationalization when someone challenges their racist views by pointing out the many successful, law-abiding African-Americans. The root cause of the belief is an idea that black people and white people can't and shouldn't be social equals. Then there's a different kind of racism that says black people are criminals who can't be trusted, but the "good ones" who prove themselves are allowed to be part of white society.

Yeah, I've spent way too much time talking to racist family members and trying to convince them not to be racist.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 02:34

ReidRansom: Oct 25, 2004

Bizarro Kanyon posted:

Just wait until Rubio starts using the "Hillary announced to steal my thunder because she is afraid of me" lines.

Hillary technically announced when she opened up her campaign office last week. You have to file within a fairly short window once you officially begin campaign activities.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 02:36

computer parts: Nov 18, 2010; PLEASE CLAP

Killer robot posted:

It goes further than that. Modern racism isn't even about never associating with or respecting black people, it's about expecting them to prove they're "one of the good ones" in ways that white people aren't. Not that there aren't right-wing racists that straight up wouldn't support voting for a black candidate, but most, in truth as well as talk, just expect him to jump through the hoops to show he's not one of that kind.

It's not even modern, Spanish colonial castes were based more upon wealth than ancestry, even if the latter was what the castes were named after.

(This is contrary to the British who held the one drop rule pretty firm regardless of wealth)

# ? Apr 11, 2015 02:48

WhiskeyJuvenile: Feb 15, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo

http://freebeacon.com/blog/its-time-for-hillary-to-take-a-stand-on-hitler/

quote:

Hillary Clinton will formally launch her second presidential campaign over the weekend. (Her first campaign was a failure.) That means she�ll finally have to weigh in on a number of key issues, such as trade policy.

One hot-button issue that Hillary has refused to take a position on is the hypothetical fate of Adolf Hitler. A recent survey raises doubts about Hillary�s willingness to kill the Nazi dictator:

quote:
Researchers from the US, Germany and Canada analysed data that asked 6,100 people a range moral questions, including whether they would kill a young Adolf Hitler to stop the Second World War.

While men and women both calculated the consequences of their decision and computed how many lives might be saved, females found it harder to commit murder and were more likely to let Hitler live.

�Would you let Hitler live?� is a fairly straightforward question. The mainstream media should insist that Hillary answer it definitively. There is also the question of whether or not Clinton�s advanced age would preclude her from taking advantage of theoretical time-travel technology, even if she were otherwise willing to kill Hitler. Advanced exoskeleton technology could help to mitigate these mobility concerns, but it could take years to develop a working prototype.

Americans deserve to know the truth.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 04:25

Grouchio: Aug 31, 2014

WhiskeyJuvenile posted:

http://freebeacon.com/blog/its-time-for-hillary-to-take-a-stand-on-hitler/

�Would you let Hitler live?� is a fairly straightforward question. The mainstream media should insist that Hillary answer it definitively. There is also the question of whether or not Clinton�s advanced age would preclude her from taking advantage of theoretical time-travel technology, even if she were otherwise willing to kill Hitler. Advanced exoskeleton technology could help to mitigate these mobility concerns, but it could take years to develop a working prototype.

Americans deserve to know the truth.

Forget about checking sources, this source needs to check it's privilege. :psyduck:

:psyduck:

# ? Apr 11, 2015 04:31

Full Battle Rattle: Aug 29, 2009; As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.

God bless the internet forever. An exoskeleton clad Hillary Clinton murdering Hitler to avoid catastrophe.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 05:10

The X-man cometh: Nov 1, 2009

Can someone photoshop Hillary into the exoskeleton from Aliens?

# ? Apr 11, 2015 06:20

MrSargent: Dec 23, 2003; Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's Jimmy T.

I was having a discussion with some friends tonight and I posed the question, "If Barack Obama could run for a third term, should he and would he win?" The unanimous answer was yes and he would win in a landslide. Is this delusional? With the progress we have made in the last 6 years, I can't imagine him losing to anyone running on the Republican side.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 08:26

woke wedding drone: Jun 1, 2003; by exmarx; Fun Shoe

If there was no 22nd amendment Bill Clinton would still be president.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 08:42

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

SedanChair posted:

If there was no 22nd amendment Bill Clinton would still be president.

Well, that would've changed a lot of things, and Reagan might have lasted long enough to start a nuclear war.

But if it was repealed in '91 by an overconfident HW Bush, yeah, Clinton would still be president.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 08:46

eternalname: Nov 25, 2014; I have a strange feeling...that people are having sex...and it's not with me

Anyone who's played Command and Conquer: Red Alert knows that you do not kill Hitler.

Nessus posted:

But if it was repealed in '91 by an overconfident HW Bush, yeah, Clinton would still be president.

Probably would have lost in '08

# ? Apr 11, 2015 10:24

VitalSigns: Sep 3, 2011

Nessus posted:

Well, that would've changed a lot of things, and Reagan might have lasted long enough to start a nuclear war.

I think the early nineties recession would have torpedoed him even if he weren't too senile to run for a fourth term by that point.

And I heartily endorse repealing the 22nd Amendment. Robo-FDR 2016 :patriot:

:patriot:

VitalSigns fucked around with this message at 10:46 on Apr 11, 2015

# ? Apr 11, 2015 10:43

woke wedding drone: Jun 1, 2003; by exmarx; Fun Shoe

eternalname posted:

Probably would have lost in '08

There wouldn't have been a crash.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 10:50

eternalname: Nov 25, 2014; I have a strange feeling...that people are having sex...and it's not with me

SedanChair posted:

There wouldn't have been a crash.

Why not?

# ? Apr 11, 2015 11:04

Full Battle Rattle: Aug 29, 2009; As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.

eternalname posted:

Why not?

Presumably because the Bush administration wouldn't have happened; although I thought a lot of the deregulation of the financial sector started under Clinton.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 14:53

Grouchio: Aug 31, 2014

Nessus posted:

Well, that would've changed a lot of things, and Reagan might have lasted long enough to start a nuclear war.

Impossible. I recently read an alternate timeline in which Reagan gets a third term. He barely goes a month in before having several major gaffes thanks to Alzheimers, before resigning when he lets Nancy do some work. Bush Sr then loses to Mario Cuomo in 1992.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 15:00

whatever7: Jul 26, 2001; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Did Reagan get to at least celebrate the down fall of evil empire in front of Gorbachev before he went full senile?

whatever7 fucked around with this message at 15:53 on Apr 11, 2015

# ? Apr 11, 2015 15:51

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Actually, I'm pretty sure we can all blame Reagan for all of our problems. Hail FDR's Ghost.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 16:06

Mister Facetious: Apr 21, 2007; I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

radical meme posted:

Of all the possible candidates, Jindal seems to be the most unhinged and he is becoming increasingly pathetic in his pandering for the radical religious base of the GOP.

Hollywood has always been an easy target but holy poo poo, when you go after corporate America as an agent of the left that's some crazy.

It's because the Tea Party is Small Business™- the only true capitalists left in America. You don't see them asking for a bailout. Look at GM and the banks; always getting handouts from Obama! Croney capitalism! :argh:

:argh:

# ? Apr 11, 2015 17:34

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

Grouchio posted:

Impossible. I recently read an alternate timeline in which Reagan gets a third term. He barely goes a month in before having several major gaffes thanks to Alzheimers, before resigning when he lets Nancy do some work. Bush Sr then loses to Mario Cuomo in 1992.

Got a link? I'm a sucker for weird black gay Hitler timeline stuff.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 17:48

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Wayne knows his audience

quote:

Wayne LaPierre of NRA: �Hillary Clinton will bring a permanent darkness and despair forced upon the American people to endure.�

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/apr/10/wayne-lapierre-nra-hillary-clinton-will-bring-perm/

# ? Apr 11, 2015 18:17

Jerry Manderbilt: May 31, 2012; No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Wayne knows his audience

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/apr/10/wayne-lapierre-nra-hillary-clinton-will-bring-perm/

Hahaha, remember Chuck Norris saying that if Obama was re-elected we would get a thousand years of liberal darkness?

# ? Apr 11, 2015 18:19

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

SedanChair posted:

There wouldn't have been a crash.

You're thinking of 9/11. That wouldn't have happened, probably.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 18:40

Hollismason: Jun 30, 2007; An alright dude.

a shameful boehner posted:

I still don't understand how Bhabi Jindal got elected in loving Louisiana

I'm not making GBS threads you. Most people in Louisiana actually think he's white with Native American ancestry.

I'll try and dig up the poll but a majority > 50% did not know he was Indian.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 18:43

SNAKES N CAKES: Sep 6, 2005; DAVID GAIDER
Lead Writer

Hollismason posted:

I'm not making GBS threads you. Most people in Louisiana actually think he's white with Native American ancestry.

I'll try and dig up the poll but a majority > 50% did not know he was Indian.

It's not that surprising.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 18:48

Hollismason: Jun 30, 2007; An alright dude.

Dude legitimately believes in demons that possess bodies and make them evil.

http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2012/05/bobby-jindal-exorcised-his-college-girlfriend

Like what the gently caress.

If you have never read the article.

http://www.newoxfordreview.org/article.jsp?did=1294-jindal

For more insanity:

quote:

After a period of group prayer, a student made a movement to end the meeting. Suddenly, Susan emitted some strange guttural sounds and fell to the floor. She started thrashing about, as if in some sort of seizure. Susan's sister must have recognized what was happening, for she ordered us to gather around and place our hands on Susan's prostrate body. I re�fused to budge from my position and froze in hor�ror. I will never forget the first comprehensible sound that came from Susan; she screamed my name with such an urgency that the chill still travels down my spine whenever I recall this moment.

Confused as to the events occurring before my very eyes, I responded to the desperation and cry for help so evident in Susan's voice. I wanted to rescue my friend from these horrible people who were holding her down and ridiculing her dignity. I tentatively ap�proached the group and placed the edge of my finger�tip on her shoulder, as if afraid of becoming infected with the disease that was ravaging her body. I had yet to realize that the affliction was ravaging her soul.

In a voice I had never heard before or since, Su�san accused me: "Bobby, you cannot even love Susan." Before I even noticed the sound of her voice, I thought it funny that Susan would refer to herself in the third person. Then the full impact of the words hit me. Forgetting the frantic students around me and even poor Susan lying on the floor, I thought of our conversation the day before. The real argument had been whether I was capable of loving Susan. I needed the answer to be yes, more for my sake than ours. I have always been a closed and relatively unemotional person and needed to know that my best friend felt that I at least could love her, due to some very strong remarks made two years before by my former girl�friend (hardly an objective source), I was beginning to doubt that I had the capacity for feeling.

He is loving C R A Z Y.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 19:01

A Bag of Milk: Jul 3, 2007; I don't see any American dream; I see an American nightmare.

SNAKES N CAKES posted:

It's not that surprising.

# ? Apr 11, 2015 19:06

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

I think Jindal's face is even more crooked than Walker's and he just hides it by tilting his head. I'm afraid to go any further down this rabbit hole. :ohdear:

:ohdear:

# ? Apr 11, 2015 19:10

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Best part of this Rand campaign clip from South Carolina is the lady with the BENGHAZI MATTERS and :obama:

:obama:

:obama:

PS buttons.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl9pEu97u-Y

# ? Apr 11, 2015 19:11

Vienna Circlejerk: Jan 28, 2003; The great science sausage party!

I can't stop seeing "Defeat the washing machine."

# ? Apr 11, 2015 19:25

Concerned Citizen: Jul 22, 2007; Ramrod XTreme

"defeat the washington machine" is a really great slogan for an openly unhinged candidate

# ? Apr 11, 2015 19:25

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 08:21

Kevyn: Mar 5, 2003; I just want to smile. Just once. I'd like to just, one time, go to Disney World and smile like the other boys and girls.

Rand Against The Machine

# ? Apr 11, 2015 19:27

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