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Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

End of 2020-21 Season Update

Playoff Results
ARZ def VAN in 4
SJS def LAK in 5
WPG def ANA in 6
COL def NSH in 7

TBL def CBJ in 6
TOR def BOS in 7
CAR def PHI in 5
WSH def PIT in 6

SJS def ARZ in 6
WPG def COL in 7

TBL def TOR in 7
WSH def CAR in 4

SJS def WPG in 4
TBL def WSH in 5

TBL def SJS in 4


NHL Awards
Stanley Cup Champions
Tampa Bay Lightning

Presidents Trophy (Best Regular Season Record)
Tampa Bay Lightning

Clarence S. Campbell Bowl (Western Conference Champion)
San Jose Sharks

Prince of Wales Trophy (Eastern Conference Champion)
Tampa Bay Lightning

Art Ross Trophy (Most Points)
Steven Stamkos -- Tampa Bay Lightning

Hart Memorial Trophy (League MVP)
Steven Stamkos -- Tampa Bay Lightning

James Norris Memorial Trophy (Best Defenseman)
Aaron Athanatos -- Toronto Maple Leafs

Lady Byng Memorial Trophy (Best Sportsmanship & Gentlemanly Conduct)
Jonathan Drouin -- Tampa Bay Lightning

Calder Memorial Trophy (Rookie of the Year)
Sergei Koltsov -- Detroit Red Wings

Conn Smythe Trophy (Playoff MVP)
Jonathan Drouin -- Tampa Bay Lightning

Vezina Trophy (Best Goaltender)
Felix Orphansbane -- Toronto Maple Leafs

William M. Jennings Trophy (Goalie(s) on team with fewest Goals Against)
Trevor Martin / Chase Marchand -- Arizona Coyotes

Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy (Perserverence, Sportsmanship & Dedication to hockey)
Matt Finn -- Toronto Maple Leafs

Frank J. Selke Trophy (Best Defensive Forward)
Jack Eichel -- New Jersey Devils

Ted Lindsay Award (League MVP as voted by NHLPA)
Steven Stamkos -- Tampa Bay Lightning

Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy (Most Goals)
Jack Eichel -- New Jersey Devils
Alexander Ovechkin -- Washington Capitals


AHL Playoffs Results
GRR def IOW in 6
UTI def ADK in 4
SAN def CHI in 4
RCK def TOR in 5

MNC def STJ in 5
POR def HER in 5
BIN def SPR in 7
WOR def LVP in 7

RCK def GRR in 6
UTI def SAN in 5

POR def MNC in 6
WOR def BIN in 7

RCK def UTI in 7
POR def WOR in 6

POR def RCK in 7

AHL Awards
Calder Cup (AHL's Stanley Cup)
Portland Pirates

Macgregor Kilpatrick Trophy (AHL's President's Trophy)
Grand Rapids Griffins

Richard F. Canning Trophy (Eastern Conference Champion)
Portland Pirates

Robert W. Clarke Trophy (Western Conference Champion)
Rockford IceHogs

John B. Sollenberger Trophy (Most Regular Season Points)
Landon Ferraro -- Grand Rapids Griffins

Les Cunningham Award (League MVP)
Harold Zimmerman -- San Antonio Rampage

Willie Marshall Award (Most Regular Season Goals)
Teemu Pulkkinen -- Grand Rapids Griffins

Dudley "Red" Garrett Memorial Award (Rookie of the Year)
Teemu Pulkkinen -- Grand Rapids Griffins

Eddie Shore Award (Best Defenseman)
Brendan Smith -- Grand Rapids Griffins

Aldege "Baz" Bastien Memorial Award (Best Goaltender)
Braden Holtby -- Hershey Bears

Jack A. Butterfield Trophy (Playoff MVP)
Hugo Chavez -- Portland Pirates

Fred T. Hunt Memorial Award (Perserverence, Sportsmanship & Dedication to hockey)
Teemu Pulkkinen -- Grand Rapids Griffins

Yanick Dupre Memorial Award (Community Involvement)
Warren Sparks -- Adirondack Flames

Harry "Hap" Holmes Memorial Award (Goalie(s) on team with fewest Goals Against)
Samuel Harvey/Stuart Skinner -- Grand Rapids Griffins


Comments
Banton, Delacour and O'Bourke finally are the best team in the regular season and playoffs
Chavez wins the Calder Cup and wins the Butterfield Trophy in the process!
Athanatos wins another Norris
Orphansbane surpisingly wins another Vezina
Tons of RFA coming up. I bet everyone re-signs.

http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2015 for Complete Stats


Upcoming Free-Agents
ARZ -- H. Chavez (RFA)
BUF -- Hockles (RFA)
CGY -- T. Kingston Kid (RFA)
CGY -- I. Strelkov (RFA)
CHI -- S. Samuelsson (RFA)
COL -- W. Van Steamsdyk (RFA)
CBJ -- R. Peters (RFA)
CBJ -- J. Longrod (RFA)
EDM -- Yokozuna (RFA)
FLA -- P. Sanchez (RFA)
MIN -- T. Crushinator (RFA)
MIN -- C. Buttworth (RFA)
MTL -- C. Clemens (RFA)
MTL -- A. Robertson (RFA)
NSH -- L. Alger (RFA)
NSH -- Zip (RFA)
NJD -- W. Clarkson (RFA)
NJD -- R. Picklechips (RFA)
OTT -- F. Stats (RFA)
SJS -- A. Kilza (RFA)
TBL -- B. Banton (RFA)
TBL -- P. O'Bourke (RFA)
TBL -- T. Delacour (RFA)
TOR -- E. Windros (RFA)
VAN -- M. O'Leary (RFA)
WSH -- S. Pepperdick (RFA)
WPG -- S. Saskatanov (RFA)
WPG -- L. Gallant (RFA)

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CommaToes
Dec 15, 2006

Ecce Buffo

Hockles posted:


Comments
Banton, Delacour and O'Bourke finally are the best team in the regular season and playoffs
Chavez wins the Calder Cup and wins the Butterfield Trophy in the process!
Athanatos wins another Norris
Orphansbane surpisingly wins another Vezina
Tons of RFA coming up. I bet everyone re-signs.


I'll take it!

Kilza
Oct 4, 2013

Hockles posted:

End of 2020-21 Season Update

Playoff Results
SJS def LAK in 5

SJS def ARZ in 6

SJS def WPG in 4

TBL def SJS in 4

NHL Awards
Clarence S. Campbell Bowl (Western Conference Champion)
San Jose Sharks

Wait...San Jose actually made the Cup Finals? Wow. Maybe we could have won, or at least not get swept, if I was the playoff starter. Van Schubert :argh:

Hockles posted:

Upcoming Free-Agents
SJS -- A. Kilza (RFA)

The time is right for an offer sheet. Who wouldn't want a goalie coming off a career year? *waits patiently by phone*

Teemu Pokemon
Jun 19, 2004

To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause
crushinator most underrated goon, will never make playoffs

Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



I only have one playoff GP, was that enough to actually get on the Cup? :ohdear:

Anders
Nov 8, 2004

I'd rather score...

... but I'll grind it good for you
Robertson has still not played a single playoff game.

checksin
Nov 23, 2006

I joined the new sensation, the #RXT REVOLUTION~!

:chillout:

he knows...
Free Yokozuna from this frozen hellscape

Slappy Pappy
Oct 15, 2003

Mighty, mighty eagle soaring free
Defender of our homes and liberty
Bravery, humility, and honesty...
Mighty, mighty eagle, rescue me!
Dinosaur Gum
Wow Holtby relegated to the AHL.

LumpyGumby
Feb 22, 2012

"Here's the world famous hockey player sitting in the penalty box for slashing..."
-Snoopy Brown
42g - 65a - 107pts
106gp - 317PIMS

Spamtron7000 posted:

Wow Holtby relegated to the AHL.

There's a new starter in town.
:dukedog:

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

2021 Offseason News

Notable Retired Players
Eric Staal
Trevor Dailey
Zach Parise
Jeff Carter
Shea Weber
Andrew Ladd
Nathan Horton
Joe Pavelski
Joffrey Lupul
Ladislav Smid
Alexander Edler
Dustin Byfuglien
Tyler Kennedy
Clarke MacArthur
Lauri Korpikoski
Kyle Brodziak
Troy Brouwer
Blake Comeau
Alex Goligoski
David Booth
Bryan Bickell
Tyler Bozak
Nathan Gerbe
Justin Abdelkader
Matt Moulson
Milan Michalek
Mike Santorelli
Adam McQuaid
Johnny Boychuk
Ryan Garbutt
Carl Soderberg
Nikita Nikitin
David Desharnais
Andrew Desjardins
Mike Weber
Justin Falk
Marc-Andre Fleury
Kari Lehtonen
Jimmy Howard
Craig Anderson
Brian Elliot
Jaroslav Halak
Corey Crawford
Devin Dubnyk
Andrew Hammond


Transaction News
ARZ -- re-signed H. Chavez to a 1.9mil/2yr contract
BUF -- re-signed Hockles to a $27.1mil/3yr contract
CGY -- re-signed T. Kingston Kid to a $34.2mil/4yr contract
CGY -- re-signed I. Strelkov to a $960k/1yr contract
CHI -- re-signed S. Samuelsson to a $965k/1yr contract
COL -- re-signed W. Van Steamsdyk to a $1.4mil/1yr contract
CBJ -- re-signed R. Peters to a $1.8mil/1yr contract
CBJ -- re-signed J. Longrod to a $20mil/3yr contract
EDM -- re-signed Yokozuna to a $15mil/2yr contract
FLA -- re-signed P. Sanchez to a $23.6mil/4yr contract
MIN -- re-signed T. Crushinator to a $17.4mil/3yr contract
MIN -- re-signed C. Buttworth to a $1.8mil/2yr contract
MTL -- re-signed C. Clemens to a $8.8mil/2yr contract
MTL -- re-signed A. Robertson to a $2.6mil/2yr contract
NSH -- re-signed L. Alger to a $17.2mil/3yr contract
NSH -- re-signed Zip to a $8.4mil/2yr contract
NJD -- re-signed W. Clarkson to a $1.3mil/1yr contract
NJD -- re-signed R. Picklechips to $20.2mil/2yr contract
OTT -- re-signed F. Stats to a $5.4mil/2yr contract
SJS -- re-signed A. Kilza to a $18.1mil/3yr contract
TBL -- re-signed B. Banton to a $9.6mil/3yr contract
TBL -- re-signed P. O'Bourke to a $34.5mil/4yr contract
TBL -- re-signed T. Delacour to a $1.3mil/1yr contract
TOR -- re-signed E. Windros to a $2.5mil/1yr contract
VAN -- re-signed M. O'Leary to a $11.8mil/3yr contract
WSH -- re-signed S. Pepperdick to a $21.9mil/3yr contract
WPG -- re-signed S. Saskatanov to a $2.2mil/1yr contract
WPG -- re-signed L. Gallant to a $13.5mil/3yr contract

8/12/21 -- MTL gets: 2022 2nd Round Pick, a prospect
8/12/21 -- NYR gets: Anders Robertson

DAL -- signed Nicklas Backstrom (90 OVR) to a 5yr contract
DET -- signed Nick Foligno (87 OVR) to a 2yr contract
PIT -- signed Oscar Klefbom (87 OVR) to a 2yr contract
STL -- signed Jake McCabe (85 OVR) to a 3yr contract
TOR -- signed Ryan Murray (85 OVR) to a 3yr contract
VAN -- signed Rasmus Ristolainen (84 OVR) to a 3yr contract
WPG -- signed Evander Kane (84 OVR) to a 3yr contract
CAR -- signed Loui Eriksson (84 OVR) to a 2yr contract


Top 10 Forward Salaries
  1. Jonathan Droin -- $10.740mil
  2. Connor McDavid -- $10.625mil
  3. Ralph Waldo Picklechips -- $10.100mil
  4. Jack Eichel -- $10.060mil
  5. Kerby Rychel -- $9.565mil
  6. John Tavares -- $9.510mil
  7. Fred Lemur -- $9.475mil
  8. Nathan MacKinnon -- $9.230mil
  9. Mika Zibanejad -- $9.185mil
  10. Tyler Seguin -- $9.080mil

Top 5 Defenseman Salaries
  1. Ryan McDonagh -- $11.030mil
  2. Victor Hedman -- $9.180mil
  3. Hockles -- $9.030mil
  4. P.K. Subban -- $8.760mil
  5. Potatoes O'Bourke -- $8.620mil

Top 5 Goalie Salaries
  1. Bradley Van Schubert -- $9.215mil
  2. Blade Mann-Dixon -- $8.775mil
  3. Felix Orphansbane -- $8.245mil
  4. John Gibson -- $8.235mil
  5. Zachary Fucale -- $8.190mil

Huge Salaries in AHL
CAR -- Cam Ward (71 OVR) -- $4.675mil
DET -- Jakub Kindl (80 OVR) -- $3.6mil
NJD -- Jonathan Bernier (86 OVR) -- $4.775mil
NYI -- Toby Enstrom (78 OVR) -- $3.8mil
PHI -- Andrew MacDonald (78 OVR) -- $3.335mil
STL -- Paul Stastny (80 OVR) -- $6.235mil


2021-22 Opening Night Info
ARZ -- F. Lemur -- Starting Center
ARZ -- H. Chavez -- Starting Goaltender in Portland (AHL)
BUF -- Hockles -- Starting D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain
CGY -- T. Kingston Kid -- Starting Center
CGY -- I. Strelkov -- Starting Goaltender in Adirondack (AHL)
CHI -- S. Samuelsson -- 2nd Line Left Wing
CHI -- RC Cola -- 2nd D-Pairing
COL -- W. Van Steamsdyk -- 4th Line Right Wing
CBJ -- R. Peters -- 2nd Line Center
CBJ -- J. Longrod -- Starting D-Pairing
EDM -- E. Rutkowski -- 3rd Line Right Wing
EDM -- R. McPhallus -- 2nd D-Pairing
EDM -- Yokozuna -- Starting Goaltender
FLA -- P. Sanchez -- Starting Right Wing
LAK -- S. McStabson -- 2nd Line Right Wing
LAK -- B. Bitdiddle -- 2nd D-Pairing
MIN -- T. Crushinator -- Starting Right Wing -- Alternate Captain
MIN -- C. Buttworth -- Starting Goaltender
MTL -- C. Clemens -- 2nd Line Center
NSH -- L. Alger -- 2nd Line Right Wing
NSH -- Zip -- Starting Goaltender
NJD -- W. Clarkson -- 3rd Line Left Wing
NJD -- R. Picklechips -- Starting Right Wing -- Alternate Captain
NYR -- A. Robertson -- Starting Goaltender
OTT -- S. Satonaka -- 2nd Line Center
OTT -- F. Stats -- 3rd Line Right Wing
PHI -- ThinkTank -- 2nd Line Left Wing
SJS -- A. Kilza -- Backup Goaltender
STL -- P. Wang -- 3rd Line Left Wing
TBL -- B. Banton -- 2nd Line Right Wing
TBL -- P. O'Bourke -- Starting D-Pairing
TBL -- T. Delacour -- Backup Goaltender
TOR -- E. Windros Jr -- 2nd Line Left Wing
TOR -- A. Athanatos -- 2nd D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain
TOR -- F. Orphansbane -- Starting Goaltender
VAN -- J. Helar -- Starting Left Wing
VAN -- M. O'Leary -- Starting D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain
WSH -- J. Hilder -- Starting Right Wing
WSH -- S. Pepperdick -- Starting Goaltender
WPG -- S. Saskatanov -- Starting Left Wing
WPG -- L. Gallant -- 2nd D-Pairing


Line spreadsheet: http://bit.ly/1cny4R9


Comments
Some big free agent signings, and also a goon trade

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls
goddamnit let me wingman Phil the Thrill and we get to the glory land

Teemu Pokemon
Jun 19, 2004

To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause
$5.8M/yr, Alt. captain, HITS/PIM machine, near PPG, 0 playoff GP

Oglogoth
May 16, 2010

Daaaaarling~
Hell yea Jersey gimme that A. Also $10mil/yr god dayum.

Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



So with these absurd salaries, what the hell is the salary cap right now? Jesus.

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

Kyrosiris posted:

So with these absurd salaries, what the hell is the salary cap right now? Jesus.

Not much higher than normal. Maybe a few mil up. However, teams that start paying players those insane salaries are crippled by the time they get to their 3rd and 4th lines. We'll start to see mid 70s and lower players who are playing for an ELC basically because that's all the NHL team can afford.

Slappy Pappy
Oct 15, 2003

Mighty, mighty eagle soaring free
Defender of our homes and liberty
Bravery, humility, and honesty...
Mighty, mighty eagle, rescue me!
Dinosaur Gum
Devils first line looks pretty strong. Blues 2nd line is my dream dangle line.

MononcQc
May 29, 2007

Doughty needs to retire so I get some first line play time while in my prime.

Kilza
Oct 4, 2013

Hockles posted:

2021 Offseason News

Notable Retired Players
Devin Dubnyk
Andrew Hammond

Unfortunate how they never had their amazing 2014-15 season in this universe. :(

Hockles posted:

Transaction News
SJS -- re-signed A. Kilza to a $18.1mil/3yr contract

I think that takes me to UFA. Please let that take me to UFA. :ohdear:

Hockles posted:

Top 5 Goalie Salaries
Bradley Van Schubert -- $9.215mil

2021-22 Opening Night Info
SJS -- A. Kilza -- Backup Goaltender

Van Schubert :argh:

14 goalies better than me OVR wise. Of course I'm still stuck behind one of those 14.

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

A reminder: You become a UFA after 7 years of NHL or you turn 27. I doubt anybody is being signed by anybody before that.

Anders
Nov 8, 2004

I'd rather score...

... but I'll grind it good for you

Kilza posted:

Unfortunate how they never had their amazing 2014-15 season in this universe. :(


I think that takes me to UFA. Please let that take me to UFA. :ohdear:


Van Schubert :argh:

14 goalies better than me OVR wise. Of course I'm still stuck behind one of those 14.

Boo loving hoo

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls
how the hell is NJ so bad? that first line is stupid good, and they have a billion goalies

a false
Mar 5, 2009

I DECIDE
WHO LIVES
AND WHO DIES
the nhl is reportedly unhappy with the modifications Buju has made to the stanley cup

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line
Goddamn St. Louis, Wang is a 20 goal scorer on loving 9.5 minutes a night, bump him up to the 2nd at least!

lazerwolf
Dec 22, 2009

Orange and Black
Wayne Van Steamsdyk solid 4th liner. Wayne play hockey good.

Anders
Nov 8, 2004

I'd rather score...

... but I'll grind it good for you

lazerwolf posted:

Wayne Van Steamsdyk solid 4th liner. Wayne play hockey good.

4th liners makes the most $/min

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
CBJ will never win the cup. And I just signed again.

Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



Top Hats Monthly posted:

CBJ will never win the cup. And I just signed again.

Aww, c'mon, I was thinking that about TBL and we did it! :unsmith:

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line

Top Hats Monthly posted:

CBJ will never win the cup. And I just signed again.

Last time the lines were posted for STL the starting goalie had an OVR of 83

I have no idea how Wang got a cup in his rookie season but I am certain it will not happen again unless he gets traded/STL gets a goon goalie

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.

Hockles posted:

EDM -- R. McPhallus -- 2nd D-Pairing

Back up to the 2nd pairing with Nurse! :woop:

McPhallus Norris inc

Corsair Pool Boy
Dec 17, 2004
College Slice
Sooo, Portland won the Calder, I got playoff MVP, was resigned for 950, 000 per for 2 years.

And I'm still in the A.

Anders
Nov 8, 2004

I'd rather score...

... but I'll grind it good for you

Feral_Shofixti posted:

Sooo, Portland won the Calder, I got playoff MVP, was resigned for 950, 000 per for 2 years.

And I'm still in the A.

At least you made the AHL playoffs.

I don't even know my overall anymore

Edit: got traded to the rangers. And now I'm starting, hooray

Anders fucked around with this message at 13:08 on Apr 15, 2015

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
Cam Ward still plays? Christ.

Stiev Awt
Mar 20, 2007


Shinichi Satonaka spends his off days throwing things at Dictator Harper's billion dollar mansion.

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls

Anders posted:

At least you made the AHL playoffs.

I don't even know my overall anymore

Edit: got traded to the rangers. And now I'm starting, hooray

Teemu Pokemon
Jun 19, 2004

To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause
i went to elementary/middle/high school with a girl in NY named stephanie smith and i don't know what that means with regards to that picture but it makes sense in my head

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls
is that Stephanie Smith is this Stephanie Smith http://300sandwiches.com/ because this is the post gal

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

All-Star Break 2022 Update

All-Stars
East -- C. Clemens (2nd Line Right Wing)
East -- P. O'Bourke (Starting D-Pairing)
East -- A. Athanatos (2nd D-Pairing)
East -- F. Orphansbane (Starting Goaltender)
West -- F. Lemur (Starting Center)
West -- M. O'Leary (3rd D-Pairing)
West -- L. Gallant (3rd D-Pairing)
West -- Zip (Starting Goaltender)


Notable Stats
Athanatos is 6th in Points
O'Bourke & Sanchez are 7th in +/-
Bitdiddle is 2nd in Hits
Picklechips leads the league in PIM; O'Bourke is 2nd; Windros Jr is 3rd
Orphansbane is 2nd in Wins, Zip is 5th
Orphansbane is 4th in GAA; Zip is 7th
Orphansbane is 4th in SV%; Pepperdick & Zip are 6th
Chavez leads the AHL in Wins; Strelkov is 2nd
Strelkov is 2nd in GAA; Chavez is 4th
Strelkov is 2nd in SV%


Transaction News
None


Injury Report
None






Comments
Stamkos and Drouin have 85 and 84 points already... :stonk:


http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2015 for Complete Stats

Stickarts
Dec 21, 2003

literally

Consistency: My ppg for the first 5 years of my career were:

.66
.58
.67
.67
.65

This year I get bumped up to 1LW, and the extra 2 mins in TOI has me all the way up .86. GIMME MORE ICE.

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls
Yeah I've been permanently trapped on the second too. Windros gonna have to elbow JVR

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Kilza
Oct 4, 2013

3 shutouts in 31 GP? I'm just going to take that as a sign I'm an elite goalie and the rest of the Sharks are holding me back. :colbert:

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