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PupsOfWar
Dec 6, 2013

Choose, Rand Paul





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Pinterest Mom
Jun 9, 2009

blunt for century posted:

He's right about this one though :v:

In my ideal world, the candidates would be required to drink straight brown liquor during debates, in order to make them accidentally more honest :allears:

I think Pataki might be the candidate for you.

Someone asked him "Beer or wine?" and he answered "Both ... beer during the day, wine at night.”

Chamale
Jul 11, 2010

I'm helping!




Death to white whiskeys.

TheScott2K
Oct 26, 2003

I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

tsa posted:

"used car salesman" is such a stupid critique, which basically means "i dont like this white guy".

It applied pretty well to Herman Cain.

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ
Cruz gives me more of a televangelist vibe than used car salesman.

Probably because he essentially is a televangelist.

Qu Appelle
Nov 3, 2005

"If a COVID-19 pandemic occurs, public health officials may have additional instructions, such as avoiding close contact with others as much as possible, and staying home if someone in your household is sick." - Official insights from Public Health: Seattle & King County staff

blunt for century posted:

every southern state would have moonshine and it would be amazing

Walker would be drinking these all night long:



Chicken Bloody Mary from Sobelman's Bar in Milwaukee, WI.

woke wedding drone
Jun 1, 2003

by exmarx
Fun Shoe
Is that garnished with a chick...why yes it is.

Graham is just a fun guy. I kind of wish he would make it to the general because he would lose honorably and seeing him and Hillary face off in a platitude contest would be hilarious. But I definitely think a batshit conservative (Paul) should be the pick, because like Goldwater, the crazy wing of the GOP can then fail spectacularly and lose power for a couple of decades.

WarMECH
Dec 23, 2004
When it comes to Bloody Mary's, it's all about the garnishes.

I would love to see Rubio drink a Cuba Libre, though!

gnomewife
Oct 24, 2010

Joementum posted:

I'm glad Lindsey Graham is in the race so we get lines like this:

On geography: "Iowa is like South Carolina but flat. New Hampshire is just kind of cool"

On Christianity: "Any Catholics here? Wooo! I love the Pope. Any Presbyterians? You were predestined to be here"

On Washington, D.C.: "You know what's missing in Washington? Drinking"

These are really funny, though. The line about Presbyterians is almost clever.

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

SedanChair posted:

But I definitely think a batshit conservative (Paul) should be the pick, because like Goldwater, the crazy wing of the GOP can then fail spectacularly and lose power for a couple of decades.

I wish I could think this is what would happen. But instead I suspect we'll see the crazy wing continue to insist that they only failed because they didn't go crazy enough and keep doubling down until eventually the GOP goes kaboom.

Horseshoe theory
Mar 7, 2005

SedanChair posted:

But I definitely think a batshit conservative (Paul) should be the pick, because like Goldwater, the crazy wing of the GOP can then fail spectacularly and lose power for a couple of decades.

But Nixon won four years later, and Reagan almost won 12 years later (and did win 16 years later)?! :confused:

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Didn't Goldwater's defeat invigorate factions of the GOP and birth the crazy wing we know today?

I mean the dude was batshit, but he inspired a lot of young conservatives at the time; that he won every state between Louisiana and South Carolina also showed them a way forward.

notthegoatseguy
Sep 6, 2005

Considering the Nixon win 4 years later and various Republican wins after, I think Goldwater's defeat has more to do with the JFK assassination than anything else. Goldwater ran a poor campaign, LBJ ran a good and dirty campaign and it paid off.

My Imaginary GF
Jul 17, 2005

by R. Guyovich

Jerry Manderbilt posted:

Didn't Goldwater's defeat invigorate factions of the GOP and birth the crazy wing we know today?

I mean the dude was batshit, but he inspired a lot of young conservatives at the time; that he won every state between Louisiana and South Carolina also showed them a way forward.

Goldwater is too moderate for the modern GOP. He'd have presided over a bipartisan administration.

The X-man cometh
Nov 1, 2009
George III is too moderate for the current GOP.

Stunning Honky
Sep 7, 2004

" . . . "

UIApplication posted:



Has anyone made this joke yet

holy moly

Stunning Honky
Sep 7, 2004

" . . . "

Qu Appelle posted:

Walker would be drinking these all night long:



Chicken Bloody Mary from Sobelman's Bar in Milwaukee, WI.

this only intensifies my already white hot hatred of bloody marys

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

SNAKES N CAKES posted:

Lindsey Graham is a national treasure and would make a great VP for Rubio.
He does have the occasional great line but remember he's still pro torture, pro war, etc.

axeil
Feb 14, 2006

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

He does have the occasional great line but remember he's still pro torture, pro war, etc.

Even monsters can tell funny jokes.

SNAKES N CAKES
Sep 6, 2005

DAVID GAIDER
Lead Writer

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

He does have the occasional great line but remember he's still pro torture, pro war, etc.

The idea is that he would be the mainstream counter weight to help Rubio win the general.

ImPureAwesome
Sep 6, 2007

the king of the beach

mooyashi posted:

this only intensifies my already white hot hatred of bloody marys

They are good though? Especially spicy hot

Stunning Honky
Sep 7, 2004

" . . . "
I won't get into it but they're garbage bougie drinks for garbage bougie people

Fulchrum
Apr 16, 2013

by R. Guyovich

blunt for century posted:

I think it means he looks greasy, scummy, untrustworthy, and entirely focused on personal profit.
Yeah, like he said, like a white guy.

sullat
Jan 9, 2012

My Imaginary GF posted:

Goldwater is too moderate for the modern GOP. He'd have presided over a bipartisan administration.

Possibly in his first term. I don't think anyone could keep the Brotherhood of Steel and the Rad-zombie coalition together for that long.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

axeil posted:

Even monsters can tell funny jokes.

You should hear Hitler's standup

I mean it's in German but still

Fulchrum
Apr 16, 2013

by R. Guyovich

Chokes McGee posted:

You should hear Hitler's standup

I mean it's in German but still

Eh, his delivery is a little off, but you can't fault the material.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in7yLZJ7A6Y

Scrub-Niggurath
Nov 27, 2007

PupsOfWar posted:

Choose, Rand Paul







I think you screwed up the links because none of those are Jefferson's Reserve

Weltlich
Feb 13, 2006
Grimey Drawer

Jerry Manderbilt posted:

Didn't Goldwater's defeat invigorate factions of the GOP and birth the crazy wing we know today?

I mean the dude was batshit, but he inspired a lot of young conservatives at the time; that he won every state between Louisiana and South Carolina also showed them a way forward.

His is purely anecdotal, but coming from a right wing family, and having listened to talk radio as a kid, Goldwater is largely vilified by the modern GOP for what amounts to "being a loser." It would take a lot of research and time for me to write up a proper post on the subject, but a large chunk of GOP anti-intellectualism can be traced to a rejection of Barry Goldwater, the consensus being "he was smart, and tried to use reason, and lost, therefore reason is for losers."

ufarn
May 30, 2009
Wow, Barney Frank looking like the most sensisble presidential candidate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Fi9BshGTsw

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc

blunt for century posted:

I think it means he looks greasy, scummy, untrustworthy, and entirely focused on personal profit. Sounds like a decent description of Cruz to me. I could totally see him in a yellow plaid blazer selling cars that "totally have never been on fire"

Bingo.

woke wedding drone
Jun 1, 2003

by exmarx
Fun Shoe

ThirdPartyView posted:

But Nixon won four years later, and Reagan almost won 12 years later (and did win 16 years later)?! :confused:

And Nixon wasn't from the crazy wing.

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ

Stunning Honky
Sep 7, 2004

" . . . "

Ace Rothstein meets with the Kansas City bosses

PupsOfWar
Dec 6, 2013

SedanChair posted:

And Nixon wasn't from the crazy wing.

Yeah, Nixon's opportunistic racism and 'Nam-related crimes make people forget he had made his entire career as a moderate-to-very-liberal Republican who was politically closer to LBJ than he was to Goldwater or Bob Taft.

If anything Nixon embodies the prototypical Sinister Manipulative Liberal Politician caricature conservatives favor. Or at least merges with LBJ to do so.

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc
Aww, Lindsey is giving those nice ladies fashion tips.

Spergin Morlock
Aug 8, 2009


Is that Walker meeting with John Sununu?

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ

Chadderbox posted:

Is that Walker meeting with John Sununu?

Also at the table: Fred Barnes and the NH GOP chair.

Also, Graham's bar order was a glass of Riesling.

woke wedding drone
Jun 1, 2003

by exmarx
Fun Shoe

PupsOfWar posted:

Yeah, Nixon's opportunistic racism and 'Nam-related crimes make people forget he had made his entire career as a moderate-to-very-liberal Republican who was politically closer to LBJ than he was to Goldwater or Bob Taft.

If anything Nixon embodies the prototypical Sinister Manipulative Liberal Politician caricature conservatives favor. Or at least merges with LBJ to do so.

I mean he was rabidly anti-communist, racist and really deeply, personally bigoted against everyone other than his base, but that was just what people expected in a president. The GOP needs to get back to its core competencies of destroying the middle class and perpetuating systemic (rather than dogwhistle) racism.

Syjefroi
Oct 6, 2003

I'll play it first and tell you what it is later.
I would love to get Lindsey into a room away from the cameras and break him down Good Will Hunting style. Get him to stop hating himself and unleash the liberal he always wanted to be before his insane defense mechanisms kicked in. He is this cycles Newt: he has lovable qualities that extremely briefly make you forget about the rest of his horribly mean-spirited positions.

Honestly, it's 2015 Lindsey, you don't have to do this anymore, you deserve some real love!

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AndNowMax
Sep 25, 2009

Fighting the fight for *mumble* *mumble*
I listened to that Adam Carolla/Ted Cruz interview. He championed the flat tax as being a "populist" policy because it would force the rich to pay their fair share, but when pressed on specifics about how a flat tax would work he admitted they hadn't come up with a specific plan or number. Cruz is very good in debates and he's at his best when going after people, but man is he a lightweight when it comes to policy.

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