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Eggplant Squire
Aug 14, 2003



Oh man I can feel the image macros generating themselves out of pure rage from people reading that story.

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Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007

Biff Rockgroin posted:

I can't look at that Paul Ryan work out picture without thinking that its from a series, and five pictures later he's just straight up naked.

It's that "look but don't touch" look on his face.


blunt for century
Jul 4, 2008

I've got a bone to pick.


he sacrificed his lips to the devil for a modicum of political power

Ralepozozaxe
Sep 6, 2010

A Veritable Smorgasbord!

Who do those chimps think they are, corporations?!

Gin and Juche
Apr 3, 2008

The Highest Judge of Paradise
Shiki Eiki
YAMAXANADU

Pop-Eye?

PerniciousKnid
Sep 13, 2006

McAlister posted:

This is from awhile back but raw stats won't work. You have to fight narrative with narrative and use data as a garnish for a new narrative to replace the one she's been taught. As Terry Pratchet said, we aren't Homo sapiens, we are pans narrans - the story telling apes. So you have to give her a new narrative that retains core principles/values from her current narrative.

Step 1- (...)
Her only hope to reduce abortion is to address its root cause. So let's talk about poverty.

SnakePlissken posted:

What a substantial post! We can certainly use more like this around here.

Bunleigh posted:

The important question is, how did Crowder tear his rotator cuff? My guess is over-enthusiastically jerking off to pictures of himself in drag.

Can I just say that I love this forum? :glomp:

Dirk the Average
Feb 7, 2012

"This may have been a mistake."

Okay, wait, what the hell? How can a chimp challenge anything in court?

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

Ralepozozaxe posted:

Who do those chimps think they are, corporations?!

Chimp Corp

MaxxBot
Oct 6, 2003

you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!
In my anecdotal experience it took about 3 years to work up to 25 pullups at the same 220lbs bodyweight as Crowder. I've had a hell of a time trying to progress beyond that though.

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat
Guys you're missing the point. If chimps are people they can be citizens. If they're citizens, they can be president. Hail To The Chimp Will be a reality!

OAquinas
Jan 27, 2008

Biden has sat immobile on the Iron Throne of America. He is the Master of Malarkey by the will of the gods, and master of a million votes by the might of his inexhaustible calamari.

Dirk the Average posted:

Okay, wait, what the hell? How can a chimp challenge anything in court?

Well, they've been buddy cop movie deputies for decades now, it was just a matter of time before one jumped to being a lawyer...

Luminous Obscurity
Jan 10, 2007

"The instrument you know as a piano was once called a pianoforte, because it can play both loud and quiet notes."

OAquinas posted:

Well, they've been buddy cop movie deputies for decades now, it was just a matter of time before one jumped to being a lawyer...

"He's not an animal! He's my partner." :911:

Ralepozozaxe
Sep 6, 2010

A Veritable Smorgasbord!

BUBBA GAY DUDLEY posted:

Guys you're missing the point. If chimps are people they can be citizens. If they're citizens, they can be president. Hail To The Chimp Will be a reality!

"They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill."

site
Apr 6, 2007

Trans pride, Worldwide
Bitch

BUBBA GAY DUDLEY posted:

Guys you're missing the point. If chimps are people they can be citizens. If they're citizens, they can be president. Hail To The Chimp Will be a reality!
Better to let them be citizens than have Planet of the Apes?

boner confessor
Apr 25, 2013

by R. Guyovich

BUBBA GAY DUDLEY posted:

Guys you're missing the point. If chimps are people they can be citizens. If they're citizens, they can be president. Hail To The Chimp Will be a reality!

Were they born in the US? Were their mothers citizens?

VideoTapir
Oct 18, 2005

He'll tire eventually.
Oh man...we're verging on unintentional poop here.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

This reminds me of a dream I had where my dog was a conservative talk radio host and I trolled him by calling in and asking if Stefan Urquelle was considered an American citizen.

InequalityGodzilla
May 31, 2012

Sir Tonk posted:

It was "It's not gay if you don't cum" when I was active, might be a regional thing.
Then what's the point?!

Biff Rockgroin posted:

I can't look at that Paul Ryan work out picture without thinking that its from a series, and five pictures later he's just straight up naked.

It's that "look but don't touch" look on his face.
Umm...I just see the cold dead eyes of a murderous doll but if you interpret that as "look but don't touch" alrighty then.

Knight
Dec 23, 2000

SPACE-A-HOLIC
Taco Defender

Tender Bender posted:

This reminds me of a dream I had where my dog was a conservative talk radio host and I trolled him by calling in and asking if Stefan Urquelle was considered an American citizen.
What did he say?

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007




quote:


by Krystal Heath and Steven Crowder

It’s not Leave it to Beaver. It’s not even the Andy Griffith Show. It’s didn’t portray the typical American family. But Full House is one of the most popular family-centered sitcoms in history.

This week, we learned that Netflix is officially creating a follow-up to the show, “Fuller House.” Social media has exploded with excitement over this news, which led us to ask, what made – what continues to make – Full House so popular?

Could it be the show’s many traditional, conservative values? Yes, we’re serious. Watch some reruns and be amazed… this show is chock-full of America at its finest. So here’s our top 5 conservative moments from Full House – and here’s to more in Fuller House!

1. Family first – it’s what Full House is all about. Family. When Danny’s wife is killed by a drunk driver, his brother in law Jesse and best friend Joey move in to help raise his young daughters. Soon after, Jesse marries Becky who becomes a mother figure in the home. The entire series is about family. And family is the bedrock of America.




2. Parental involvement – the dudes that date the daughters, they know who’s the man of the house. And they respect him. And, if they don’t… well, the three amigos may show up at that drive-in movie. But it’s not just relationships. Tanners, adults and kids alike, communicate and participate in each other’s lives.



3. Prayer –though not included in every episode, we are given glimpses of the Tanner family’s faith. From the traditional prayer at their Thanksgiving meal, to Stephanie plea for help finding Mr. Bear, the presence of a Supreme Being is clearly acknowledged by the Tanner Family.



4. Lessons and morals – every show. Each show presents a problem and a solution (and the government doesn’t solve the problems!). Someone in the family is always learning something. It’s not all fun and games – sometimes life is downright painful. Full House reminded us of that. And other times… you just need to pour pancake batter down the other guy’s shirt. Because fun is an integral part of life, too.



5. They’re Entrepreneurs – if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. From exterminator, to band leader, to night club owner, to radio dj, to Ranger Joe… these guys are always building something, always creating something. They’re not about hand-outs. They’re about contributing to society.

Nothing pisses of liberals like entrepreneurs and Parental involvement

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:




Nothing pisses of liberals like entrepreneurs and Parental involvement

How are those moments? This is sad even for a clickbait headline article.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

The world is black and white. Liberals think single parents and gays are cool, therefore they HATE traditional families.

Edit: Also, three men who aren't related to one another living in one house and raising children together: traditional family values!


Knight posted:

What did he say?

He sputtered with rage and started picking apart the definition of "natural-born" in great detail.

Tender Bender fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Apr 21, 2015

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:




Nothing pisses of liberals like entrepreneurs and Parental involvement

Bob Saget being a dirty comic is the best thing about Full House now in retrospect.

I now wonder if the show had been centered around that if it'd have been more like "Married...with Children".

e: Wonder if the jokes for "American Funniest Videos" would have been a million times better as well.

Hazo
Dec 30, 2004

SCIENCE



edit^^^ ahaha good point, they could have written this dumb clickbait piece about almost any family sitcom but they chose the one with loving Bob Saget

quote:

It’s not Leave it to Beaver. It’s not even the Andy Griffith Show. It’s didn’t portray the typical American family.
You can see how tried to boilerplate the setup with three repetitive opening sentences like a middle school-level writing assignment and they even managed to gently caress that up. :waycool:

Hazo fucked around with this message at 22:58 on Apr 21, 2015

Job Truniht
Nov 7, 2012

MY POSTS ARE REAL RETARDED, SIR

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:




Nothing pisses of liberals like entrepreneurs and Parental involvement

Not to get all tech bubble in this thread, but how is Full House supposed to work in San Francisco for TYOL 2015? Is it going to be your typical American family paying 4000 a month for a small shack?

Job Truniht fucked around with this message at 23:07 on Apr 21, 2015

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Job Truniht posted:

Not to get all tech bubble in this thread, but how is Full House supposed to work in San Francisco in 2015. Is it going to be your typical American family paying 4000 a month for a small shack?

Apparently the property is valued at 2.8m. http://www.people.com/article/full-house-friends-homes-cost

So uh...

Countblanc
Apr 20, 2005

Help a hero out!

Job Truniht posted:

Not to get all tech bubble in this thread, but how is Full House supposed to work in San Francisco in 2015. Is it going to be your typical American family paying 4000 a month for a small shack?

I assume the show will be about Michelle moving back in with her family after being unable to find work for two years, and to have every episode make fun of her for being lazy millennial trash.

Coohoolin
Aug 5, 2012

Oor Coohoolie.
Are the Olsen twins still alive? Am I even thinking of the right show? The terrible, terrible, show?

OAquinas
Jan 27, 2008

Biden has sat immobile on the Iron Throne of America. He is the Master of Malarkey by the will of the gods, and master of a million votes by the might of his inexhaustible calamari.

Coohoolin posted:

Are the Olsen twins still alive? Am I even thinking of the right show? The terrible, terrible, show?

They're worth several hundred million apiece. So they probably won't even slum the reunion.

Nintendo Kid
Aug 4, 2011

by Smythe

Job Truniht posted:

Not to get all tech bubble in this thread, but how is Full House supposed to work in San Francisco for TYOL 2015? Is it going to be your typical American family paying 4000 a month for a small shack?

Real estate prices for the part of the city it was set in were also ludicrous even back in the 80s and 90s. It made no sense that they were able to afford it then either really.

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007

Plot

quote:


John Stamos broke the news on Jimmy Kimmel Live. According to him, the idea is to get the original cast together for an hourlong reunion special and then go into the spinoff. It’s unclear whether the hourlong special will be part of the 13-episode order, or air separately.

In Fuller House, D.J. Tanner-Fuller (Candace Cameron Bure) is all grown up and working as a veterinarian in San Francisco. When her husband dies while she’s still pregnant, she finds support from her sister Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin), an aspiring musician; and her BFF Kimmy (Andrea Barber), a single mom.

Along with Kimmy’s teen daughter Ramona, the two women move in with D.J. to help her raise her sons: rebellious 12-year-old J.D., neurotic 7-year-old Max, and the newborn.

Dr Christmas
Apr 24, 2010

Berninating the one percent,
Berninating the Wall St.
Berninating all the people
In their high rise penthouses!
🔥😱🔥🔫👴🏻
Why was everyone so goddamn mean to Kimmy?

beatlegs
Mar 11, 2001

Coohoolin posted:

Are the Olsen twins still alive? Am I even thinking of the right show? The terrible, terrible, show?

Didn't one them marry some 50 year old guy when she was still a teen or something? And one of the other girls on the show was a meth addict.

I was always under the impression that the show was for little kids. Wasn't it?

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

I guess I underestimated just how essential "untimely death of a spouse" was to the concept of Full House.

Ralepozozaxe
Sep 6, 2010

A Veritable Smorgasbord!

Tender Bender posted:

I guess I underestimated just how essential "untimely death of a spouse" was to the concept of Full House.

It's the curse of the Tanner family. Nobody want's to marry them and face death's wrath, but those out of the know make the fatal mistake.

MaxxBot
Oct 6, 2003

you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!
Steve Deace, who supports sodomy laws, is worried about gays putting Christians in jail.

MaxxBot fucked around with this message at 00:43 on Apr 22, 2015

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012
"YES we conservative LOVE parental involvement! What? Maternity leave? Paternity leave? Get out of my sight, you hippie scumbag!!"

Faustian Bargain
Apr 12, 2014


MaxxBot posted:

Steve Deace, who supports sodomy laws, is worried about gays putting Christians in jail.


What an idiot. This black chief isn't a bigot! He's black!

ErIog
Jul 11, 2001

:nsacloud:

Luminous Obscurity posted:

"He's not an animal! He's my partner." :911:

"He was my partner, but now he's my husband." :getin:

The worst fears of conservatives will soon be realized!

Tender Bender posted:

I guess I underestimated just how essential "untimely death of a spouse" was to the concept of Full House.

Yeah, it was real weird. They almost never touch on it, and there's even like a first season episode where Danny Tanner is like dating. I'm not sure dating 4 months after your wife died is a thing most people do, but I think people maybe grieve differently.

ErIog fucked around with this message at 01:08 on Apr 22, 2015

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Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



ErIog posted:

"He was my partner, but now he's my husband." :getin:

The worst fears of conservatives will soon be realized!


Yeah, it was real weird. They almost never touch on it, and there's even like a first season episode where Danny Tanner is like dating. I'm not sure dating 4 months after your wife died is a thing most people do, but I think people maybe grieve differently.

They do.

It's such an insipid show beyond that though. It was the Leave it to Beaver of the early 90s, "safe family show" for incredibly boring people to enjoy and Bob Saget to pay the bills with.

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