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FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Prilm Bek: Mob Crease

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Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica


This really happened.


CJacobs posted:

I am really pushing #Blartcore games for Q2 2015. Paul Blart but it's a messy physics simulator where you tumble Kevin James head over heels toward piles of delicious donuts forever. There is no mall copping to be done.

#PaulerBlartydeux

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Pilb Bird: Meat Camp

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Remember at the end of Tobias Wolfe's "Bullet in the Brain" when he just keeps repeating "They is" over and over? I want the last thing I think when I get shot in the head to be "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" again and again and again.

Adam Bowen
Jan 6, 2003

This post probably contains a Rickroll link!
I think a Paul Blart game that's basically a mix of Bully, LA Noire, and Dead Rising would own hard

Adam Bowen
Jan 6, 2003

This post probably contains a Rickroll link!

FactsAreUseless posted:

Remember at the end of Tobias Wolfe's "Bullet in the Brain" when he just keeps repeating "They is" over and over? I want the last thing I think when I get shot in the head to be "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" again and again and again.


What system was that on?

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica

Adam Bowen posted:

I think a Paul Blart game that's basically a mix of Bully, LA Noire, and Dead Rising would own hard

The final mission involves him blasting his way through the border patrol as he rides his Segway down to Mexico to track down his estranged wife who married him for a green card and left him with a daughter.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Adam Bowen posted:

What system was that on?
Atari Jaguar

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Paul Blart: Jaguar

Adam Bowen
Jan 6, 2003

This post probably contains a Rickroll link!
Paul Blart and King of Queens have to team up to find George Costanza's dad after he uses his free water cup at the food court to get a Cherry Coke

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica

bloodychill
May 8, 2004

And if the world
should end tonight,
I had a crazy, classic life
Exciting Lemon
Almost as scary as Walter Matthau.

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747

FactsAreUseless posted:

Remember at the end of Tobias Wolfe's "Bullet in the Brain" when he just keeps repeating "They is" over and over? I want the last thing I think when I get shot in the head to be "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" again and again and again.

That is not a short story I expected to hear offhanded references to on here. :stare:

Adam Bowen
Jan 6, 2003

This post probably contains a Rickroll link!
That's his style, make some bad posts to sound dumb and then drop some literary references to sound smart

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

one would think mispelling paul blart's name in reference to mall cop wouldn't be funny anymore, but it really is the meme that keeps on giving

Assepoester
Jul 18, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Melman v2

Sleeveless posted:

If this was a few console generations ago we'd be getting an actual full-blown Paul Blart game, now they're probably just making an endless runner where you play as Paul Blart on his Segway.
A few console generations ago we'd be getting an endless runner sold as a full price game or budget $30 title if we were lucky

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKHPxpNZ8_s

Pepsiman is also your surprise anime

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica

bloodychill posted:

Almost as scary as Walter Matthau.

Nasgate
Jun 7, 2011

Howard Phillips posted:

Why the regret? Sounds like you got some wisdom to bestow.

Basically, no matter how good or how inebriated you are, you will reach at best 1 out of 3 games being enjoyable. And since your average game is an hourish long, that means you get one hour of a good time, for two hours of grueling poo poo.

No game is ever won out of skill, not even pro games. It's all about making your opponent rage as autistically as possible. Or in pro games where the teams can actually hold their composure, it's about busting out strategies the other hasn't played against before, because adaptation is not a skill that's needed for Dota2.

The problem is that most people think the game is skill and/or knowledge based. So then you get idiots who read on reddit that you should build a hero this way, and never deviate from it. And then they rage at anyone for doing not that, even if it's a completely different circumstance than the build is for.

Dota 2 is a race against time trying to keep your teams morale up longer than the enemy team.

Adam Bowen
Jan 6, 2003

This post probably contains a Rickroll link!
DOTA 2 is real bad, but to be fair it's literally a copy of a 12 year old mod in a genre that has actually improved a bit over the last 12 years.

Lurdiak
Feb 26, 2006

I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.


I'm starting to think all those years spent not playing games with anime babes were wasted.

butt implants
Oct 16, 2004

i'm gay
Is there still a IRC room people from games congregate in? It used to be #idlegames but apparently that's dead now.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Adam Bowen posted:

That's his style, make some bad posts to sound dumb and then drop some literary references to sound smart
I call it "The Algernon Protocol."

bloodychill
May 8, 2004

And if the world
should end tonight,
I had a crazy, classic life
Exciting Lemon
Flowers for FactsAreUseless: Perl Bort: Morb Cerp Edition

A Spider Covets
May 4, 2009


FactsAreUseless posted:

I call it "The Algernon Protocol."

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Adam Bowen posted:

That's his style, make some bad posts to sound dumb and then drop some literary references to sound smart

hm. This doesn't sound like it would work, but as the titular character says in J. B Cabell's Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice, "I'll try any drink once!"

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Please do not post a picture of me, the vaguely ethnic man in the background.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Bicyclops posted:

hm. This doesn't sound like it would work, but as the titular character says in J. B Cabell's Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice, "I'll try any drink once!"
Here's the difference: Everyone has read Bullet in the Brain. Everyone. It's like Hills Like White Elephants. If you were ever taught English, you had to read it.

Adam Bowen
Jan 6, 2003

This post probably contains a Rickroll link!
Killing Floor 2 is insanely grindy btw and there are going to be account wipes between now and release, so don't buy yet.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Adam Bowen posted:

I'm gonna buy Killing Floor 2, ignoring my rule against Early Access.

Adam Bowen posted:

Killing Floor 2 is insanely grindy btw and there are going to be account wipes between now and release, so don't buy yet.

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

FactsAreUseless posted:

Here's the difference: Everyone has read Bullet in the Brain. Everyone. It's like Hills Like White Elephants. If you were ever taught English, you had to read it.

That makes mine better, though, because if I'm referencing something someone has to look up to even know what it is, clearly I am a clever and well-read, intimidating man, ready to laugh as I glance down my glasses at the ignorance of the masses. Like Tito Melema, I can construct a scholarly identity for myself and nobody will be the wiser. :ninja:

Adam Bowen
Jan 6, 2003

This post probably contains a Rickroll link!
Good guy goon buys games so you don't have to

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Bicyclops posted:

That makes mine better, though, because if I'm referencing something someone has to look up to even know what it is, clearly I am a clever and well-read, intimidating man, ready to laugh as I glance down my glasses at the ignorance of the masses. Like Tito Melema, I can construct a scholarly identity for myself and nobody will be the wiser. :ninja:
No, sorry, that's dumb. Please fire yourself out of the literary cannon.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Adam Bowen posted:

Good guy goon buys games so you don't have to
Thanks for the new title for the Starbound thread.

VideoGames
Aug 18, 2003

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

I wonder if I could RPG maker to just make a visual representation of a George Eliot novel

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames
where's my new Panzer Dragoon on-rails shooter

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747

FactsAreUseless posted:

Please do not post a picture of me, the vaguely ethnic man in the background.

you're Mac irl?

Real hurthling!
Sep 11, 2001




Playing witcher 2 on 360. Game breaking bug in the first 5 minutes where i opened a gate before all the enemies were dead and the game didnt count it but deactivated the switch permanently.
How big of a problem are bugs?
Also how do i equip mutagens?

Stux
Nov 17, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 31 hours!
i finished the order it was really fun and well worth the play. i traded it in and i finally got advanced warfare again so the universe is realigned.

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The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

i'm rewatching e3 2014 as prep for writing e3 2015 OP. i know its easy to look back on e3s and say "how did people get so excited" but this was microsoft's lineup last year

call of duty
forza 5/horizon 2
evolve (lol)
rear end creed unity (lol)
dragon age inquisition (lol)
sunset overdrive
dead rising 3 DLC
dance central spotlight
fable legends (lol)
project spark (lol)
indies: ori & blind forest, inside, id@xbox sizzle reel
master chief collection (lol)
halo tv show (lol)
rise of the tomb raider
witcher 3
phantom dust (dead??)
tom clancy the division
scalebound (vaporware??)
crackdown (vaporware??)

i looked it up and apparently crackdown was shown before they even had a developer to make the game lol

also this'll be like the third year The Division is shown at E3 so thats probably a bad sign

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