AusPol: Commemorating 100 years since the Ottomans stopped the boats

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > AusPol: Commemorating 100 years since the Ottomans stopped the boats

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Graic Gabtar: Dec 19, 2014; squat my posts

Laserface posted:

Oh good now that Avshalom is here, we have rounded up all the undesirables and can gas them all at once!

It will be over quickly Laserface, just breathe deeply.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 10:37

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 15:58

Vladimir Poutine: Aug 13, 2012

Slightly tangential, but I wouldn't be surprised if Europe ends up emulating our approach to asylum seekers. The rhetoric there is more hardline than ours, even though the policies there aren't.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 10:40

Bifauxnen: Aug 12, 2010; Curses! Foiled again!

QUACKTASTIC posted:

Immigration Minister Peter Dutton has made a personal pitch for refugees on Nauru to relocate to Cambodia, warning they may receive less resettlement support if they wait.

In the pre-recorded video, Mr Dutton said assistance may be cut for those leaving later.

"There's no guarantee that this level of support will be offered to people who wait and do not commit to this first group."

God, they're hard-selling it like a loving timeshare seminar. Close the sale NOW NOW NOW or you'll miss out!!

# ? Apr 22, 2015 10:42

Avshalom: Feb 14, 2012; by Lowtax

Sydney Harbour is Ciarg's mouth in this analogy.

Vladimir Poutine posted:

Slightly tangential, but I wouldn't be surprised if Europe ends up emulating our approach to asylum seekers. The rhetoric there is more hardline than ours, even though the policies there aren't.

They'll also offer every Romani person in the continent a free cruise just so they can "intercept" them on the way back in.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 10:42

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Vladimir Poutine posted:

Slightly tangential, but I wouldn't be surprised if Europe ends up emulating our approach to asylum seekers. The rhetoric there is more hardline than ours, even though the policies there aren't.

Sky News in britain last night had packages where they interviewed migrants who'd landed in Italy, asking them why they wanted to come etc. I'm struggling to remember the last time I saw an Australian TV news station do that. (Although that's possibly because the government prevents them from doing so I guess?)

# ? Apr 22, 2015 10:43

Graic Gabtar: Dec 19, 2014; squat my posts

Is anyone else watching Chris Bowen going out too hard, too early on 7:30?

# ? Apr 22, 2015 10:44

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

QUACKTASTIC posted:

Nauru refugees who resist resettlement in Cambodia may get less assistance, says Immigration Minister

Immigration Minister Peter Dutton has made a personal pitch for refugees on Nauru to relocate to Cambodia, warning they may receive less resettlement support if they wait.

The first group to Cambodia was due to leave Monday but is yet to depart.

Australia has an arrangement with Cambodia to take people from Nauru who are found to be refugees.

The Federal Government has offered resettlement packages including cash, help to find work, transitional housing, language training, and health insurance.

In the pre-recorded video, Mr Dutton said assistance may be cut for those leaving later.

"Settlement support will also be provided to assist you to settle into Cambodia and integrate into the Cambodian community," he said.

"You will be able to establish yourself and your family in a safe and stable environment on a permanent basis.

"This package will assist refugees to establish new lives in Cambodia and is available to those who decide to travel as part of the first group to Cambodia.

"There's no guarantee that this level of support will be offered to people who wait and do not commit to this first group."

It is understood the video is being shown to people one-on-one, and displayed on monitors in the detention centre.

The ABC last week reported up to 10 refugees could be on board the first charter flight to Phnom Penh.

The Government has not said when the plane will depart but Mr Dutton said, "plans are well underway for the first group of refugees to travel and settle in Cambodia."

Please call the Cambodia settlement hotline: Dutton

"Cambodian settlement presents a great opportunity for refugees to move forward and begin the next phase of their lives in a country that is free from persecution," Mr Dutton said in the video.

"Cambodia provides a wealth of opportunity for new settlers. It is a fast-paced and vibrant country with a stable economy and varied employment opportunities. It is a diverse nation with a blend of many nationalities, cultures and religions.

"Please take advantage of the Cambodia settlement hotline on 558 6049. Call and speak to my staff and find out more about resettlement in Cambodia," referring to a hotline set up for refugees and asylum seekers on Nauru."

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-04-22/nauru-refugees-who-resist-resettlement-to-get-less-help-dutton/6413366

If you have international credit on your mobile (a lot of optus plans do) the country code for Nauru is +674

# ? Apr 22, 2015 10:44

Graic Gabtar: Dec 19, 2014; squat my posts

Jumpingmanjim posted:

If you have international credit on your mobile (a lot of optus plans do) the country code for Nauru is +674

Are you old enough to remember "dob in a dissident?"

Obviously no one in Dutton's office is.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 10:49

birdstrike: Oct 30, 2008; i;m gay

Had an appointment with the Cambodian embassy about a visa. Receptionist told me to Khmer a minute. :v:

# ? Apr 22, 2015 11:15

Les Affaires: Nov 15, 2004

Birdstrike posted:

Had an appointment with the Cambodian embassy about a visa. Receptionist told me to Khmer a minute.

I SEE THROUGH YOUR ROUGE

# ? Apr 22, 2015 11:17

Graic Gabtar: Dec 19, 2014; squat my posts

This thread has seriously gone to pot.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 11:32

SadisTech: Jun 26, 2013; Clem.

Well I'm loving a-Pol-ed.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 11:33

Kazzah: Jul 15, 2011; Formerly known as
Krazyface; Hair Elf

As a kid I lived in Burma for a couple of years, it was a lovely country, we should just send them all there.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 11:50

GoldStandardConure: Jun 11, 2010; I have to kill fast
and mayflies too slow; Pillbug

I grew up in the Pilbara, its very nice and also resource rich up there.

We should send all the refugees up there with some old tires etc as building material and they can make themselves a new life and a new city.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 11:52

GoldStandardConure: Jun 11, 2010; I have to kill fast
and mayflies too slow; Pillbug

# ? Apr 22, 2015 11:54

Laserface: Dec 24, 2004

Anyone else read that story about the Cambodian kids whos parents were killed by the Kmher?

little brother, or something.

Hell of a book to read in primary school.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 11:54

Quantum Mechanic: Apr 25, 2010; Just another fuckwit who thrives on fake moral outrage.
Waaaah the Christians are out to get me

lol abbottsgonnawin

Negligent posted:

Seriously QM are you saying that having a legitimate fear of persecution is the same as a gunman literally being at your door because lol

Morally, yes, I am. It's no more specious a comparison than any of the turds you've curled out into the thread so far.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 12:13

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

GoldStandardConure posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4XIMr5nr2c

# ? Apr 22, 2015 12:19

birdstrike: Oct 30, 2008; i;m gay

'No show Joe' lashed for missing key budget razor gang meeting

# ? Apr 22, 2015 12:27

tithin: Nov 14, 2003; [Grandmaster Tactician]

Pickled Tink posted:

Allow me to correct this deficit of classiness from Australia's most talented political cartoonist!

# ? Apr 22, 2015 12:37

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson, who built an online community and sold a recipe book off the back of claims she cured terminal brain cancer through diet and lifestyle alone, has admitted she never had cancer.

http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2015/apr/22/none-of-its-true-wellness-blogger-belle-gibson-admits-she-never-had-cancer

Shocked.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 13:21

Zetsubou-san: Jan 28, 2015; Cruel Bifaunidas demanded that you [stand]🧍 I require only that you [kneel]🧎

# ? Apr 22, 2015 13:47

PaletteSwappedNinja: Jun 3, 2008; One Nation, Under God.

Where are these imaginary people that think Charlie Pickering should be allowed to do things. Where are they? They're nowhere.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 13:49

Tokamak: Dec 22, 2004

Australian Comedian tier list:

A:
Shaun Micallef
Clarke and Dawe
-------
F:
Everything Else

# ? Apr 22, 2015 13:57

Mr Chips: Jun 27, 2007; Whose arse do I have to blow smoke up to get rid of this baby?

Y'know that 'ANZAC terror plot' that took 200 police to foil? The state are alleging the plan was to run over a copper with car, and maybe stab him.

80-90 people are stabbed to death in Australia every year, and 200+ pedestrians are run down by cars.

Time to lose your poo poo, Australia.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 14:01

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Tokamak posted:

Australian Comedian tier list:

A:
Shaun Micallef
Clarke and Dawe
-------
F:
Everything Else

What are you talking about, Hockey and Abbott are easily the most talented comedic performance art comedians in the country.

Pretty dark humor to be sure, but if you can't laugh at the suffering of an entire nation what can you laugh at?

# ? Apr 22, 2015 14:04

hiddenmovement: Sep 29, 2011; "Most mornings I'll apologise in advance to my wife."

Mr Chips posted:

Y'know that 'ANZAC terror plot' that took 200 police to foil? The state are alleging the plan was to run over a copper with car, and maybe stab him.

80-90 people are stabbed to death in Australia every year, and 200+ pedestrians are run down by cars.

Time to lose your poo poo, Australia.

They also planned to nick his service weapon and go on a shooting spree. But yeah it was a pretty bad plan, all they had to do was just drive around Chapel St normally on a Saturday night and they almost certainly would have run over someone

# ? Apr 22, 2015 14:04

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Mr Chips posted:

Y'know that 'ANZAC terror plot' that took 200 police to foil? The state are alleging the plan was to run over a copper with car, and maybe stab him.

80-90 people are stabbed to death in Australia every year, and 200+ pedestrians are run down by cars.

Time to lose your poo poo, Australia.

Australian terrorist; less good at terrorism than your average drunk male in any major CBD at 3am Saturday.

Edit:

Question: Since our violent drunks are apparently so good at terrorisms without even trying, should we look at turning them into a new export industry for Australia now that the mineral export market has all but dried up?

dr_rat fucked around with this message at 14:10 on Apr 22, 2015

# ? Apr 22, 2015 14:06

Seagull: Oct 9, 2012; give me a chip

oh yeah it's easy to laugh now but would you be laughing after someone pulls an action man knife on a cop and starts swinging

# ? Apr 22, 2015 14:15

Zetsubou-san: Jan 28, 2015; Cruel Bifaunidas demanded that you [stand]🧍 I require only that you [kneel]🧎

Seagull posted:

oh yeah it's easy to laugh now but would you be laughing after someone pulls an action man knife on a cop and starts swinging

poo poo yeah i'll be laughing, because someone else will have to be hammering at the button on the back to achieve the Real Knife Swinging Action.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 14:19

Mad Katter: Aug 23, 2010; STOP THE BATS

Mr Chips posted:

Y'know that 'ANZAC terror plot' that took 200 police to foil? The state are alleging the plan was to run over a copper with car, and maybe stab him.

80-90 people are stabbed to death in Australia every year, and 200+ pedestrians are run down by cars.

Time to lose your poo poo, Australia.

All they had to do was hit a cop on a bike, then nobody would give a poo poo, and they could shrug their shoulders and walk off.

A dude in Perth deliberately rammed a cyclist in a fit of road rage and received a $1500 fine last month. The cyclist could have died.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 14:32

Zenithe: Feb 25, 2013; _{Ask not to whom the Anidavatar belongs; it belongs to thee.}

Tokamak posted:

Australian Comedian tier list:

A:
Shaun Micallef
Clarke and Dawe
-------
F:
Everything Else

Kate and Kate from the Katering show should be on this list.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 14:32

hiddenmovement: Sep 29, 2011; "Most mornings I'll apologise in advance to my wife."

Mad Katter posted:

All they had to do was hit a cop on a bike, then nobody would give a poo poo, and they could shrug their shoulders and walk off.

A dude in Perth deliberately rammed a cyclist in a fit of road rage and received a $1500 fine last month. The cyclist could have died.

Lmao what how is that not assault/grievious bodily harm/whatever it is they call it in Western Australian

# ? Apr 22, 2015 14:41

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Mad Katter posted:

All they had to do was hit a cop on a bike, then nobody would give a poo poo, and they could shrug their shoulders and walk off.

A dude in Perth deliberately rammed a cyclist in a fit of road rage and received a $1500 fine last month. The cyclist could have died.

How the gently caress is that not an assault with intent charge, which looks to be a 7 year sentence in WA.

Just looked it up, seems also got a 9 month suspended sentence. I would bloody hope some court mandated time at a therapist as well, but nothing about thats mention so I assume not.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 14:56

Ian Winthorpe III: Dec 5, 2013; gays, fatties and women are the main funny things in life. Fuck those lefty tumblrfuck fags, I'll laugh at poofs and abbos if I want to

QUACKTASTIC posted:

Please call the Cambodia settlement hotline: Dutton

I can think of few phone numbers that have less appeal than something called the 'Cambodia settlement hotline'.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 15:14

hiddenmovement: Sep 29, 2011; "Most mornings I'll apologise in advance to my wife."

Ian Winthorpe III posted:

I can think of few phone numbers that have less appeal than something called the 'Cambodia settlement hotline'.

Negligent's home phone would have to be #1

# ? Apr 22, 2015 15:20

Ian Winthorpe III: Dec 5, 2013; gays, fatties and women are the main funny things in life. Fuck those lefty tumblrfuck fags, I'll laugh at poofs and abbos if I want to

Mr Chips posted:

Y'know that 'ANZAC terror plot' that took 200 police to foil? The state are alleging the plan was to run over a copper with car, and maybe stab him.

80-90 people are stabbed to death in Australia every year, and 200+ pedestrians are run down by cars.

Time to lose your poo poo, Australia.

Agreed, like when they pull officers off other jobs to go and investigate a spate of attempted fire bombings of a mosque and it's like....'uh, 10s of thousands of buildings burn down every year guys.'

# ? Apr 22, 2015 15:20

Ian Winthorpe III: Dec 5, 2013; gays, fatties and women are the main funny things in life. Fuck those lefty tumblrfuck fags, I'll laugh at poofs and abbos if I want to

hiddenmovement posted:

Negligent's home phone would have to be #1

Doubt it given he lives with his mum.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 15:21

Murodese: Mar 6, 2007; Think you've got what it takes?
We're looking for fine Men & Women to help Protect the Australian Way of Life.

Become part of the Legend. Defence Jobs.

Tokamak posted:

Australian Comedian tier list:

A:
Shaun Micallef
Clarke and Dawe
-------
F:
Everything Else

You forgot Working Dog, you rear end in a top hat.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 15:40

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 15:58

hambeet: Sep 13, 2002

Murodese posted:

You forgot Working Dog, you rear end in a top hat.

Chris Kenny is working dogs, yeah?

# ? Apr 22, 2015 22:02

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > AusPol: Commemorating 100 years since the Ottomans stopped the boats

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