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Antifreeze Head thanks. Also I keep meaning to watch that movie (I have it on my computer at home). zebong an NDA that's a good idea. Yes recruiters are loving persistent with that question. Some say they won't even move forward and blah blah blah. She happened to catch me at the tail end of a Monday workday when I wasn't expecting a recruiter call, considering I had applied just a few minutes earlier.
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Apr 22, 2015 19:22
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Knyteguy posted:Yes recruiters are loving persistent with that question. Some say they won't even move forward and blah blah blah. Then apologize and hang up the phone. Or lie. There is absolutely no benefit to you in telling them your actual salary. Zero. It can only hurt you.
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Apr 22, 2015 19:25
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Grumpwagon posted:The Texas job he's "decided to take" (at Bar) is remote. They talked, she/they was/were most comfortable staying near family. If I'm reading correctly, there is another Dallas job (the one he applied first for that got this all rolling). That one is ~$130k/yr and not remote.  quote:Take a breath, step away from your defensiveness for a second and understand that this probably wasn't the best thing to do. Even if you can't admit it to the thread, at least admit it to yourself and fix it next time. Knyteguy posted:Really? I'd love a second car right about now.
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Apr 22, 2015 19:56
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ladyweapon posted:I went back, looked, and I had missed the one line where he mentioned they had spoken together about it. I was genuinely asking if I had missed it because I don't keep up on this thread like a lot of the regulars seem to. Reading the last couple days posts all at once was overwhelming. Agreed it was overwhelming. ladyweapon posted:I mean this sincerely too, since it could come off poorly, but I think he would really benefit from limiting his posting to once a day or something. KG seems to post with immediate emotional reactions which rile this thread up even more. Keep a notepad file of things you want to respond to and take time to think about what you're going to say instead of Well jeez some credit for what sacrifices I have done sometimes is nice. Which happened this past weekend and I really appreciate. But for example I am foregoing a car for myself, we're saving every month, and if I have a bad month I catch a whole lot of poo poo for it but keep going in here. I didn't go to that bachelor party, we got rid of a cat, we moved from an autoscoop cat box to manual litter, we turned down the heater like 10 degrees, I quit drinking (3 weeks without any alcohol), etc. Plus April has been great. It's disingenuous to say we haven't been making sacrifices, but I get that a lot in here not just from ufsteph either. It's frustrating sometimes. Icarus I've lied before but if employers verify it after submitting an offer it can come back to bite you in the rear end. Again I think the whole "what's your previous salary" is exploitative. I'm going to start saying that I make federal minimum wage.
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Apr 22, 2015 20:26
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More importantly, following today's interviews, you should probably start thinking about solidifying the budget for the next three months if you haven't already. Those kitties aren't going to spay themselves, you know.  And if you have already solidified it, then post it. (And if you've already posted it and I missed it, tell me to shut up  )
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Apr 22, 2015 20:29
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IllegallySober posted:More importantly, following today's interviews, you should probably start thinking about solidifying the budget for the next three months if you haven't already. Those kitties aren't going to spay themselves, you know. Yep agreed. My wife and I will get a budget together this weekend since she's off.
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Apr 22, 2015 20:31
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Knyteguy posted:Icarus I've lied before but if employers verify it after submitting an offer it can come back to bite you in the rear end. There is no way for them to verify this without your company (or maybe the parent company) telling them, which they are under no compulsion to. Do you think they would? Knyteguy posted:Again I think the whole "what's your previous salary" is exploitative. No one cares. This is how life is. Stop telling people your salary.
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Apr 22, 2015 20:40
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Inverse Icarus posted:There is no way for them to verify this without your company (or maybe the parent company) telling them, which they are under no compulsion to. Do you think they would? They could. What if they were pissed I left or something? Do I want to build my future on a lie that could backfire? I've heard horror stories. Saying this is how life is is accepting it. I'm not powerless in the situation. If I were a hiring manager I could absolutely make the choice to forego talk like this. I'm having no trouble speaking to the recruiters about my salary expectations, and them accepting it (minus 1 person) even if I'm looking for work at a 50% raise. Yes it would probably be easier if I hadn't but the thing is is that it's not impossible. This is a pointless argument. I'm not ignorant of what I can get and what others who get paid with my experience in my profession in my area get, so if they offer me less I'm willing to walk away. That is literally the only thing that matters.
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Apr 22, 2015 20:48
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For anyone that thinks KG hasn't made any actual progress, or perhaps just not enough to whatever standards to hold a poster on a website called SomethingAwful.com, here are some highlights from some real dumb-assery from early on:Knyteguy posted:Also we got hit with $112 in overdraft fees because we had money in Paypal, but they still decided to bill our bank when we weren't ready (I mean we used our PayPal MasterCards which tie directly to our PayPal funds). Knyteguy posted:We have around $2000 worth of free cash this pay cycle, not last paycheck. Our bills are heavily weighted to the first paycheck cycle, and we also paid off $412 in payday loans, and bought a Playstation 4, and paid off my sister more money, and etc. We were just really irresponsible. I knew I'd find more clothes than the $200 estimate, but that is water under the bridge. Knyteguy posted:Since we'll be buying a house in the next 2-2.5 years we need to rebuild our credit. So the point is KG might not be doing everything the absolute best way, but things were much, much worse and expectations seem to be a bit more grounded in reality. How's that toothbrush working out anyway?
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Apr 22, 2015 20:48
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Antifreeze Head posted:How's that toothbrush working out anyway? Great on the toothbrushes. It was actually $100 for TWO of them. My early onset gingivitis is gone (quitting smoking helped too). That got lost in translation. We bought replacement heads at Target for about half off the official version. And thanks.
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Apr 22, 2015 20:52
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How does one find a recruiter? My husband and I want to move to Minneapolis area. We work in IT. He currently makes six figures. I'm making a good amount as well, but not six figures. It wasn't until this thread I thought hey, a recruiter could help! How does one go about finding one?
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Apr 22, 2015 21:01
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Make a LinkedIn profile. They will be all over you if you have a good one.
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Apr 22, 2015 21:06
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Knyteguy posted:It's disingenuous to say we haven't been making sacrifices, but I get that a lot in here not just from ufsteph either. It's frustrating sometimes. I dunno, I guess the problem I have is that you view forgoing luxuries as "sacrifices" and not how people in your situation should be acting? I'm also not saying you haven't improved a lot, because you have. If you keep up your good work you'll be back to having a machine pick up your cat poo poo in no time. Knyteguy posted:They could. What if they were pissed I left or something? Do I want to build my future on a lie that could backfire? I've heard horror stories. One way to get around this: Give them a (fake) number and call it "total compensation". Just like you will negotiate a new job as the whole package of benefits, salary, bonus, vacay, etc, you can give them a number that is impossible to break down into individual components and thus compare. ufsteph fucked around with this message at 21:24 on Apr 22, 2015 |
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Apr 22, 2015 21:19
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Knyteguy posted:Agreed it was overwhelming. Why is fixing your own mistakes such a sacrifice? I mean, you bought one car you couldn't afford, but somehow not buying another one is a sacrifice. Don't like cleaning cat poo poo? Don't get multiple cats. You have had a "bad month" pretty much every month since you started this thread. You get smug and defensive when people who have more experience than you try to point out mistakes you've made/will likely make by either insisting that it's too late, you've learned your lesson, or that you totally know everything is going to turn out 100% exactly the way you want it to. You make important decisions with very little forethought and then later on find reasons to justify them/make it ok, such as "My wife is willing to move if we have to, as am I. Neither of us want to." Since when would you HAVE to move? You have a stable job and a lease where you're at. You weren't even considering moving a week ago. It looks like you're just latching on to one more shiny thing ("Oooo!! New job!! Pretty!!") without considering all of the possible ramifications, and suddenly, it's a necessity. Like the PS4 was, like the lovely apartment was, like the lease-breaking was, like the overpriced car was, like the meals out were, etc. You really need to redefine both "sacrifice" (cleaning up your own mess = being a grownup, not a sacrifice) and "necessity" (something you need to get by, not whatever catches your eye for more than 15 seconds at a time).
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Apr 22, 2015 21:26
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Knyteguy posted:I'm going to start saying that I make federal minimum wage. No. You say "my expected salary is $X, based on credentials 1, 2, and 3," and you only say that AFTER they have given you a number first.
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Apr 22, 2015 21:38
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Knyteguy posted:Well jeez some credit for what sacrifices I have done sometimes is nice. Which happened this past weekend and I really appreciate. But for example I am foregoing a car for myself, we're saving every month, and if I have a bad month I catch a whole lot of poo poo for it but keep going in here. I didn't go to that bachelor party, we got rid of a cat, we moved from an autoscoop cat box to manual litter, we turned down the heater like 10 degrees, I quit drinking (3 weeks without any alcohol), etc. Plus April has been great. It's disingenuous to say we haven't been making sacrifices, but I get that a lot in here not just from ufsteph either. It's frustrating sometimes. 
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Apr 22, 2015 21:53
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April posted:Why is fixing your own mistakes such a sacrifice? I mean, you bought one car you couldn't afford, but somehow not buying another one is a sacrifice. Don't like cleaning cat poo poo? Don't get multiple cats. You have had a "bad month" pretty much every month since you started this thread. You get smug and defensive when people who have more experience than you try to point out mistakes you've made/will likely make by either insisting that it's too late, you've learned your lesson, or that you totally know everything is going to turn out 100% exactly the way you want it to. I think this is a very good post. I've really taken issue with KG's idea of what sacrifice is throughout this thread. KG - you should give away the aussie - you realize that you'd be sending it to aussie heaven if it's at a working farm.
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Apr 22, 2015 22:08
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n8r posted:I think this is a very good post. I've really taken issue with KG's idea of what sacrifice is throughout this thread. Not to pile on, but I think that it needs to be pointed out that not buying alcohol when you have a history of running out of food is not a heroic sacrifice.
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Apr 22, 2015 22:20
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Knyteguy posted:As far as what I want out of my career it's making really good money. I don't plan on working forever so I'm willing to sacrifice much of my short term happiness if it means reaching the goals for our long term happiness faster. Agreeing with everyone on most of the recent points (e.g., "sacrifice"), but wanted to post to harp on this specifically. You are greatly overestimating your ability to work a job/put yourself in a situation you hate, while greatly underestimating how long your going to have to work it to reach financial independence. You already have one child, and you may have more. In your stated goals you still want a house and a second car. You will at some point have to decide if you are going to fund your kid(s) education. You also have a lot of debt to get through before you even start adding to retirement savings, which are currently sitting at $0. The average retirement age in the U.S. is 62. If you believe in that whole "withdrawing 4% of your investments to live on so as to not decrease principal" you'll need roughly $750,000 to live on $30,000/year. You are going to have to go forward planning on 60-65 being the age being when you can afford to retire, and plan your life accordingly. You absolutely cannot afford to work a job you hate for decades because the money is good - it will hands down ruin your life, because you will not be able to prevent the negativity bleeding into your home life. On top of the impact of potentially moving away from family and having to start over with no friend or family support nearby. A new job (either local or one you have to move for) COULD be a good decision, but there are so many factors that you appear to be glossing over, which has everyone back on your case.
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Apr 22, 2015 22:22
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ufsteph posted:I dunno, I guess the problem I have is that you view forgoing luxuries as "sacrifices" and not how people in your situation should be acting? I'm also not saying you haven't improved a lot, because you have. If you keep up your good work you'll be back to having a machine pick up your cat poo poo in no time. I don't have the energy to hit all of the points made right now. The second interview (mostly technical) went very well. I answered a technical question that after I answered they said "we've been waiting a long time for someone to get that answer correct." So cool. It's in a rural town. It could be fun for a couple years. Aagar I'm not making any decisions yet though. I will talk thoroughly with everyone including you guys should an offer come my way. Travel back home is a concern and I've been looking at plane ticket prices. It's not cheap. I'll try to address or acknowledge other points after work (running on E from the baby last night). edit jeez I didn't even realize why I quoted. steph I like a "total compensation" idea. That's really what I wanted to say. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 23:03 on Apr 22, 2015 |
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Apr 22, 2015 22:56
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Given KG's job skills he should have no problem finding a job locally or finding a job where he can work remotely and stay where he is. Living near family and friends is worth a lot, and as I've said before KG is making enough now to easily claw himself out of debt if he can just stick to a budget. Moving right now would be stupid.
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Apr 23, 2015 00:03
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It's not necessarily stupid... But in this case, it definitely needs more consideration. If I were him, with his obligations, I'd honestly take a 10k raise for a remote position over a 30 or 40k raise that requires breaking a brand new lease (and the wife having to quit her job with good benefits, and the unknowns of a new workplace while having a newborn) and moving further than a 1-2 hour drive away from family. Knyteguy, you have made a lot of progress, compared to your past self. Your net worth has been increasing slowly but steadily since December. You've clearly been trying very hard and you've been making progress (you dropped the new car idea pretty quickly and I think last year you'd have probably fought for it for a while longer and gone to dealerships, etc etc before finally giving up). But every time you bring up how much progress you're making, it's like watching someone on a diet talk about how they're doing so good and now they just want to eat an entire cake to celebrate. It's never "we're saving money by having rehomed a cat" or "I feel good that overdraft fees are a thing of the past". It always seems to get put in the context of "I did something good so why are you mad that I still can't make a working food budget?" I think the last time you didn't, which stood out to me, was when you finally stopped living paycheck to paycheck and having to worry about what day payday was.
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Apr 23, 2015 01:44
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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:Make a LinkedIn profile. They will be all over you if you have a good one. April posted:Not to pile on, but I think that it needs to be pointed out that not buying alcohol when you have a history of running out of food is not a heroic sacrifice.
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Apr 23, 2015 02:18
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Knyteguy posted:The second interview (mostly technical) went very well. I answered a technical question that after I answered they said "we've been waiting a long time for someone to get that answer correct." Glad it went well! You should write down their questions and your answers while they're fresh so you can brush up before a second round and/or improve upon the answer should it be asked by someone in a different interview.
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Apr 23, 2015 04:34
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Hey thanks! Just got feedback from interview 2 - they really liked my personality, and they think I could pick up the version of the software that they're running quickly. I'll find out of if I make it to the final round today. I apologize for being a little short with some people yesterday. My wife and baby started sleeping in the room again, and the lack of sleep there on top of the stress of two interviews had me wound up. Regarding 'sacrifice' I'm not trying to say that Horking. Where I'm like well I did this so gently caress it I can go spend some money! I don't try to anyway. I do want to put out there that I'm not 'set' on moving jobs at all. I'm just exploring the path. My wife and I both have roots in this city of course (we've both lived here our whole lives), so it's not an appetizing idea. However just getting some offers will give me some confidence at work, and it will also tell me my market value. Doing interviews will give me confidence in being able to find more jobs. It's all pretty win-win in my opinion. I'm not going to pick up my family and leave the state on a whim. It'll need to be a very carefully thought out decision. For example I was talking to my grandma about all of this yesterday, and she's like well what if you got out of debt couldn't you stay here? And yes we would be in much better shape to save. Aagar I don't have a particular timeframe in mind right now. It's way too far off to think about too much. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 16:30 on Apr 23, 2015 |
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Apr 23, 2015 16:27
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You seem to be a bit easily sold on things. My feeling is you'll get an awesome offer in bumfuck nowhere 6 hours away, and take it because the interviewer persuaded you it is fantastic. Then when you move your family there you'll realize that you hate living in a place with no nice restaurants and no friends or family to hang out with. You'll be driving back home every weekend to keep in contact, and it'll be exhausting. You'll need a new car to do this. Your wife will have to quit her job to move, and might not be able to get anything better than part-time minimum wage in the new town. You'll end up with not much more money than before with the extra car payment and loss of your wife's income. Then eventually you and your wife will confess to each other that you are miserable where you are, and you are going to quit your job and move back home hoping for the best. People here will rip the poo poo out of you for it, and you'll be saying "I did what you people told me! I sacrificed my happiness at my old job for a higher salary, just like you told me to!"
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Apr 23, 2015 16:39
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BarbarianElephant posted:You seem to be a bit easily sold on things. My feeling is you'll get an awesome offer in bumfuck nowhere 6 hours away, and take it because the interviewer persuaded you it is fantastic. Yea it would be the apartment thing all over again. "We're moving to a much cheaper place, we're going to save so much money!" 3 months later "gently caress this place, we're moving out, it's unsafe and I want to mow the grass and be close to my mom"
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Apr 23, 2015 16:43
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BarbarianElephant posted:You seem to be a bit easily sold on things. My feeling is you'll get an awesome offer in bumfuck nowhere 6 hours away, and take it because the interviewer persuaded you it is fantastic. Well we won't be driving home every weekend from Virginia which is the top prospect so far. That's 2,500 miles away. I am trying to consider the fact that my wife could lose her income especially in a rural town. It won't do us any good at all if I get a job paying $90,000/yr and then my wife loses her job which means our gross income goes up by $1,000. However opportunities to move up have been thrown out there. No hurry.
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Apr 23, 2015 16:48
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Please do not move to rural Virginia. e: Tell me what part and I'll tell you why it sucks.
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Apr 23, 2015 16:51
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Series DD Funding posted:Please do not move to rural Virginia. Sure that'd be great to get some input. I can't be too specific obviously. I think it's considered the Shenandoah Valley. It's west of DC and Baltimore, and Harrisonburg is in the area but not the place. Near the West VA border. DC and Baltimore would be easy weekend road trips (Between 1-3 hours away). e west <> east Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 17:26 on Apr 23, 2015 |
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Apr 23, 2015 17:08
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Knyteguy posted:It's east of DC and Baltimore, No it isn't
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Apr 23, 2015 17:24
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ufsteph posted:No it isn't West*. It's not a libertarian floating island
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Apr 23, 2015 17:26
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Knyteguy posted:However opportunities to move up have been thrown out there. Do not take anything where this is touted as a major pro and where you wouldn't take the job if it weren't. Every place says this. It's not always true.
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Apr 23, 2015 17:27
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Knyteguy posted:Sure that'd be great to get some input. With traffic (and there is always traffic), that drive will be an hour or two more than you think. Unless you live in Richmond, Arlington (a skip away from DC), or Alexandria, Virginia sucks. I'm not joking at all. It is boring as gently caress.
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Apr 23, 2015 17:29
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Knyteguy posted:Sure that'd be great to get some input. Do you like college parties and/or the forest? Because if not I have bad news for you. There's nothing else in this region. We have a few "cities" which are just adjuncts to their university, Roanoke, which is as serious a city as zaurg is at saving money, and farms with giant billboards telling you about Jesus. On the plus side, rent is low and there's nothing to do, so you'll save money until you get miserable and start drinking again.
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Apr 23, 2015 17:51
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Knyteguy posted:Well we won't be driving home every weekend from Virginia which is the top prospect so far. That's 2,500 miles away. I am trying to consider the fact that my wife could lose her income especially in a rural town. It won't do us any good at all if I get a job paying $90,000/yr and then my wife loses her job which means our gross income goes up by $1,000. However opportunities to move up have been thrown out there. Oh, that's even worse. I like your thread, you are clearly a great guy. You talk about nothing but friends and family. You need to "know thyself" and understand that if you pack up and leave all your loved ones thousands of miles away, you will be miserable. No amount of money will replace friends you went to high school with. If your mother gets sick, how will you bear it being too far away to visit regularly? Don't forget to factor in the eye-watering cost of daycare. It might well end up that your wife can't get a job worth paying daycare. Is she OK with being a stay-at-home mom? It drives some women crazy, especially if they are in a new place with no friends and all the other moms are in tight-knit cliques.
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Apr 23, 2015 17:57
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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:Make a LinkedIn profile. They will be all over you if you have a good one. This. I have a lovely five-minute profile and in addition to countless recruiters trying to friend me and offer me mystery jobs, a local engineering manager at a plastics factory bought me lunch (not even sure why, he never brought up wanting me to work there). So LinkedIn got me a free lunch, more than Facebook has ever gotten me
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Apr 23, 2015 18:15
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BarbarianElephant posted:Oh, that's even worse. I like your thread, you are clearly a great guy. You talk about nothing but friends and family. You need to "know thyself" and understand that if you pack up and leave all your loved ones thousands of miles away, you will be miserable. No amount of money will replace friends you went to high school with. If your mother gets sick, how will you bear it being too far away to visit regularly? Hey thanks. I think she would like to stay at home, but I don't think she's given thought about potential isolation in another state. Got an offer to fly out to Virginia and West Virginia (third interview went well it was super casual for a very big hobby company). I can Skype as well but it would be a hell of a lot of fun to go somewhere I've never been. Only problem is that it's next week and I don't know if I can PTO that. Maybe I could trade working on the weekend for two days off or something. edit: but this isn't a commitment or anything close to it. I just think a free trip would be cool. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Apr 23, 2015 |
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Apr 23, 2015 19:34
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Don't be a dick and waste a company's time/money for a job you have no intention of taking.
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Apr 23, 2015 19:41
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n8r posted:Don't be a dick and waste a company's time/money for a job you have no intention of taking. It's not that simple. I'm heavily leaning stay home but I'm not near 100% any way yet. What if I get an offer and it's really great? Good bonuses, ESPP, better insurance? I'd have to weigh absolutely everything. If the offer is really good I don't want to have to fly somewhere on my own dime to see if I would like the area.
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Apr 23, 2015 19:46
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