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Knyteguy posted:It's not that simple. I'm heavily leaning stay home but I'm not near 100% any way yet. What if I get an offer and it's really great? Good bonuses, ESPP, better insurance? I'd have to weigh absolutely everything. If the offer is really good I don't want to have to fly somewhere on my own dime to see if I would like the area. "Here's this thing I want to do that the thread doesn't think I should do, so I'll start finding reasons that it's necessary."
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Apr 23, 2015 19:55
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n8r posted:Don't be a dick and waste a company's time/money for a job you have no intention of taking. I don't think that's being a dick. The company has to understand that there's a possibility that he won't work out, and they are willing to pay for it. It's a cost of doing business.
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Apr 23, 2015 19:58
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April posted:"Here's this thing I want to do that the thread doesn't think I should do, so I'll start finding reasons that it's necessary." How could the thread possibly know? How could I possibly know? I mean what if the job offer is amazing? There's way too many variables right now. Interview in Memphis is 15 minutes. Memphis sounds cool, and my wife's grandparents who she hasn't seen in many years live in Arkansas. Plus her other grandma would really like to visit there she said.
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Apr 23, 2015 19:58
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n8r posted:Don't be a dick and waste a company's time/money for a job you have no intention of taking. That's not being a dick at all, that's just how these things work. They are offering him interview experience on their own dime, and wouldn't hesitate to get something for nothing from him if they could. Don't turn down interviews unless the opportunity cost for you is too high.
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Apr 23, 2015 20:03
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Knyteguy posted:What if I get an offer and it's really great? You need to calculate exactly how great an offer would have to be to make you move. This will be your starting position in negotiations.
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Apr 23, 2015 20:12
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Agreed, this is not being a dick. KG, you should go. This way you will be much more informed when/if the time comes to make a decision about this job. Just tell your boss you have some personal things you need to take care of.
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Apr 23, 2015 20:24
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Alright agreed I need to set a base point of "OK if this comes I'll really consider moving". I'll try to get the PTO but I can't guarantee it. Of course I have a week of sick time and vacation so it shouldn't be a problem. Memphis interview... D. Got nervous on that one for some reason. I managed to relax and calm down at the end though. He said we'll be in touch soon so maybe it's alright.
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Apr 23, 2015 21:03
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Tech people are generally terrible at interviewing. Just being able to talk to someone without awkwardness for 5 minutes straight puts you above par.
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Apr 23, 2015 21:07
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But, good proof of why going through this process is good for you. Practice practice practice.
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Apr 23, 2015 21:23
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Two weeks ago you weren't even trying to get a new job. If you aren't being a dick to the company, you're being a dick to yourself by even considering a job most of the way across the country. You have a 2(?) month old child and are depending on quite a bit of family support to help raise the child. Why can't you be patient for, I dunno 3 months, and try to find a better paying job that doesn't involve relocating? You have skills that don't require you to relocate. I don't understand why you are even considering relocating. Can you not be impulsive / impatient at least once in your life?
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Apr 23, 2015 22:33
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n8r posted:Two weeks ago you weren't even trying to get a new job. If you aren't being a dick to the company, you're being a dick to yourself by even considering a job most of the way across the country. You have a 2(?) month old child and are depending on quite a bit of family support to help raise the child. I wasn't trying but I've been talking about this for a very long time.  Here's our software section  Here is San Francisco's for reference  Reno may be on the up-and-up for tech but it hasn't happened yet. Remote jobs are definitely possibility but I don't think I should count on that 100%.
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Apr 23, 2015 23:07
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Moving to SV is a lot more reasonable than moving to Dallas or Virginia with regards to family being close by. It's still not ideal but I'd leave it on the table.
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Apr 23, 2015 23:09
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Yeah, bay area is weekend-trippable distance from Reno. ONE OF US. ONE OF US.
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Apr 23, 2015 23:54
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Hah. Well we both do really, really like the Silicon Valley area (#1 or #2 of our cool cities list)... Plus my wife's old corporate office is in Berkeley and she has nearly gotten a $50,000 position there in the past. They just wanted more managerial experience which she has been getting at JC Penney. And on top of that some of my wife's family would actually be even closer (though our family here in Reno would be about 3.5 hours away)... OK we'll start looking. Other news: I underestimated my wife's paycheck by $878. It turns out they DID screw up benefits, so much of that is back pay. May will look a lot better now (since we're using April's income).  NOT THE OFFICIAL MAY BUDGET but I included it since it's what we would have gone with pre-charity.
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Apr 24, 2015 01:01
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Quick question, KG - are you tracking April expenses in real time? I really want to give you kudos for your restaurant spending being $0 over the last (almost) 3 weeks, but I don't want to jump the gun if your sitting on some receipts. I'm glad you won't be back in the black on restauraunts until June - I really think that a few months of not eating out and getting into the routine of cooking good meals will really open your eyes to how much money is wasted eating out versus equivalent meals one can make at home. As a bonus, it really does seem like a treat the times you do decide to go out (anniversary, family get together, etc.).
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Apr 24, 2015 01:24
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Aagar posted:Quick question, KG - are you tracking April expenses in real time? I really want to give you kudos for your restaurant spending being $0 over the last (almost) 3 weeks, but I don't want to jump the gun if your sitting on some receipts. Yep that is to the moment. Thanks for the kudos! Unfortunately we can't take all of them. We've used our discretionary to get take out two or three times. We have cut restaurants drastically though. And an overwhelming majority of meals have been at home this month.
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Apr 24, 2015 01:55
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With relocation, a lot of companies will only reimburse your moving expenses or they'll pay a moving company to move you. Clawbacks are common where you have to repay relocation if you don't stay there for a set amount of time. Maybe you'll talk to a company that's willing to pay you relocation in advance, but don't be surprised if it's a reimbursement model. The east coast is expensive and cold. Very cold. And humid. Flights to the west coast from the east are agonizing so you won't want your family to make that trip very often. All important things to know in advance.
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Apr 24, 2015 03:29
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Why are they agonizing? (More so than any other flight)
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Apr 24, 2015 03:52
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sheri posted:Why are they agonizing? (More so than any other flight) Compare that to a non-stop flight from east to west at about 6 hours. Personally, that's past my limit for sitting around in cramped quarters. Add in layovers and you're easily spending 10 hours just on travel each way. That's pretty rough as an adult. I can't imagine keeping a little kid occupied that long. The time change is really dramatic that direction, too. Going west to east, you stay awake later than the locals on that first day because their 10pm is usually your 7pm. You feel pretty energized. Going east to west, you have the reverse. If you don't give yourself a full day to readjust your sleep schedule after you get back, you'll leave work at 6pm the next day and feel like it's almost time to go to bed.
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Apr 24, 2015 04:36
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Knyteguy posted:Hah. Well we both do really, really like the Silicon Valley area (#1 or #2 of our cool cities list)... Plus my wife's old corporate office is in Berkeley and she has nearly gotten a $50,000 position there in the past. They just wanted more managerial experience which she has been getting at JC Penney. And on top of that some of my wife's family would actually be even closer (though our family here in Reno would be about 3.5 hours away)... OK we'll start looking. 50k in the bay area is worth what 25k where you are now? Why can't you A. Be patient and try to find something local or B. Be patient and find something that allows you to work remotely?
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Apr 24, 2015 05:13
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I feel like the interview stuff in this thread is turning into a distraction from staying on budget for three months. I can't even fathom the idea of trying to change jobs right after having a child. It's just too much seriously life-changing poo poo all crammed into such a short time span. I don't know how you can sleep, knyteguy. All the stress of all this poo poo at once would have me in cold sweats at night.
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Apr 24, 2015 10:49
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Is there a reason the thread can't be patient and wait til he makes some kind of decision before jumping down his throat? He's just interviewing.
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Apr 24, 2015 12:57
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RheaConfused posted:Is there a reason the thread can't be patient and wait til he makes some kind of decision before jumping down his throat? He's just interviewing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DufE-dcQ70k
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Apr 24, 2015 13:23
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n8r posted:50k in the bay area is worth what 25k where you are now? I hate to play devil's advocate but this isn't strictly true if his pay is going up as well. Housing is much more expensive yes, and there are other things that are more expensive too, but there are some costs that will be the same or close regardless of area. You can probably kiss a 25k raise on her part goodbye, but a 30-40k raise by him would then probably be all gravy on top of that, especially if it's being spent on saving instead of consumerism (oh how I doubt this). Nail Rat fucked around with this message at 14:47 on Apr 24, 2015 |
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Apr 24, 2015 13:25
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RheaConfused posted:Is there a reason the thread can't be patient and wait til he makes some kind of decision before jumping down his throat? He's just interviewing. This thread has learned that if we wait for him to be close to a decision, there's a reasonable chance he will lock himself out of other options and pot commit before we can convince him otherwise - the immediate reactions to his musings are a learned response.
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Apr 24, 2015 14:32
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I won't be making any decisions regarding moving right now. I'm simply exploring options. Memphis job apparently wants to proceed. I think he said the next step was a face-to-face. That'd mean flying out to Memphis I think. I don't feel like calling the recruiter to confirm yet. An offer of $80,000 there would be equivalent to about $90,000 here. Does anyone have any input on what Memphis is like? The Virginia stuff was insightful.
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Apr 24, 2015 15:31
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Knyteguy posted:my wife's grandparents who she hasn't seen in many years live in Arkansas. Plus her other grandma would really like to visit there she said. Which quadrant of Arkansas? Because Dallas is closer to some of Arkansas than Memphis. Plus I thought Dallas was a nice place to live (I mean it obviously doesn't have your family though).
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Apr 24, 2015 15:31
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Memphis has some really loving awesome parts (the waterfront area, Beale Street) and the rest of it is pretty scary in my limited experience. edit: a quick google search seems to verify my experience. Great tourist town if you stay near the nice hotels, but it's #4 in violent crime in America. As with anywhere, I'm sure the suburbs are fine though. Nail Rat fucked around with this message at 15:35 on Apr 24, 2015 |
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Apr 24, 2015 15:32
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Yeah, you'd be looking at living somewhere like Germantown or Southaven if you're working in Memphis. Maybe East Memphis. It's not my favorite town in the south but compared to Reno...
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Apr 24, 2015 16:03
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Easychair Bootson posted:Yeah, you'd be looking at living somewhere like Germantown or Southaven if you're working in Memphis. Maybe East Memphis. It's not my favorite town in the south but compared to Reno... Yeah, I think that people who haven't been to Reno kind of picture it like they picture Las Vegas. Reno is seriously a shithole. I actually kind of like it because of how trashy and terrible it is, but it is not a nice town and it is nothing like Vegas.
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Apr 24, 2015 16:12
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Droo posted:Yeah, I think that people who haven't been to Reno kind of picture it like they picture Las Vegas. Reno is seriously a shithole. I actually kind of like it because of how trashy and terrible it is, but it is not a nice town and it is nothing like Vegas. Hey, it photographs pretty well in this one spot!  http://www.arcadiarecoverycenter.com/index.php/substance-abuse-alcohol-addiction-treatment-rehabilitation-ut/reno-nevada-addiction-recovery/I've never been to Reno, but in that regard I imagine it's just a much smaller Vegas, because Vegas is mostly terrible too. The Strip is just really big.
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Apr 24, 2015 16:20
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Memphis is fine, don't let the naysayers scare you off. Know where it's rough? North and South Memphis. Guess what, you'll never, ever set foot in those parts of town anyway. You can live downtown for city-esque living, midtown if you're a hippy, East Memphis if you want to be equal distance from everything and not feel like a new suburb, or Germantown/Collierville for a more family-friendly atmosphere. Don't live in Southaven or Olive Branch; Tennessee has no income tax, don't ruin it by living in Mississippi. Edit: the biggest problem Memphis has right now is the roving band of teenagers that are beating people up. Seriously, it's ridiculous.
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Apr 24, 2015 16:42
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kitten posted:Which quadrant of Arkansas? Because Dallas is closer to some of Arkansas than Memphis. Plus I thought Dallas was a nice place to live (I mean it obviously doesn't have your family though). Just looked and it's the North West corner. It's near the Missouri and OK border. There's a roughly half hour difference driving from Dallas or Memphis apparently. Nail Rat posted:Memphis has some really loving awesome parts (the waterfront area, Beale Street) and the rest of it is pretty scary in my limited experience. Huh. Well poo poo I thought it was a good prospect. It's #10 on the overall most dangerous cities in the US overall. As you stated I'm sure the suburbs are fine, but still. From a software engineering best practices standpoint a few of these places are a little sketchy too. One told me they've been working entirely in production. For a nationwide well known company. Many others are kind of jack-of-all trades type jobs. They're all much more formal than what I'm currently doing. Like business casual everyday, probably strict rear end internet filters, etc. SV seems like the clear choice here if we're going to move. My wife and I have both been visiting the area since we were kids, and I really really like Berkeley if we could afford it (no idea). I think the competition will be tougher, but screw it. I'm going to proceed with interviews and see if I get any offers (and of course what they are), but I'm not very sold on anything yet. Dallas maybe if the job offer is sweet. So far it's the one with the largest potential. Reno will be ultimately different from Vegas in the coming decades. Vegas will always be -the- gambling and night life city, but Indian casinos, especially in Sacramento have really hurt gambling profits here. The city is really trying to refocus (and they've been somewhat successful) on outdoor activities and culture. It'll always be home as I've lived here for coming on 29 years. There have been times I've hated it, and times it's alright. It's mostly the snow that kills it for me. If you like snow and outdoor stuff though I think it would be a nice place to live. edit: alright thanks for the input Omne.
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Apr 24, 2015 16:43
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I don't know how much traffic you sit in, or if you have any experience with it, but the traffic in CA is horrible. Give up on any dream of buying a house anytime in the near future unless you are committed to commuting 1-2 hours each way to and from work. My wife's brother lives in Redwood City and they live in a hole in the wall house that cost them about $800,000. It's 2 bedrooms 1 bath about 700 sqft. The job market is incredible, but it's not all upsides. Also if your wife goes back to work expect to pay $1000-$2000+ a month for child care per kid. It's not joke. You'll also be competing with a bunch of people with fancy degrees from fancy schools + MBA's so your career will be somewhat limited unless you decide to go back to school. It's definitely possible to move up withing companies, but it will be a lot harder and you'll have less open doors. I used to commute from the central valley to Livermore (tri-valley) every day and it literally took 1-1.5 hours each way to drive about 25 miles.
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Apr 24, 2015 16:51
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Taco Box posted:I feel like the interview stuff in this thread is turning into a distraction from staying on budget for three months. I can't even fathom the idea of trying to change jobs right after having a child. It's just too much seriously life-changing poo poo all crammed into such a short time span. I don't know how you can sleep, knyteguy. All the stress of all this poo poo at once would have me in cold sweats at night. We don't have our budget yet so it's kind of tough to talk about much. This weekend since my wife has it off. I think I said I would have it up already, so that's my fault. As far as how I can sleep, well I figure much of this is taking steps to better my family's life. I look at my son and I want to open opportunities for him. On top of that making more money and more importantly saving more money would allow us to maybe take a year off if a family member needs help even if we're not straight up FI yet, or have leverage to (to paraphrase a poster here) take career risks, or etc etc. I'm probably a little bit of an idealist, but sometimes that works out for me. Nail Rat to answer your disbelief realistically I think a very small portion would be fun money, but I'm very happy with our quality of life right now. April has been our best month yet sticking to budget (in roughly 1.5 years), and it feels the best so far. Budget wise the end of the month is generally the toughest stretch of the month. It's important that we focus on staying on track.
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Apr 24, 2015 17:00
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Bugamol posted:I don't know how much traffic you sit in, or if you have any experience with it, but the traffic in CA is horrible. Yes job competition is something I'm a little concerned about. I have been thinking about finishing up my degree. For now I acknowledge that it will be more difficult, but I feel pretty good that I can do it. The commute is something I've thought about. I've been wondering about the feasibility of going without a car completely if we were to move. That would open up (including the car payment...) $736/mo including maintenance, fuel, registration, and insurance. It does not include depreciation.
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Apr 24, 2015 17:09
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The important pieces to factor in for cost of living, is the cost of getting back to where your family is. If you are flying 3 people across the US 2-3 times a year, that's another 4-5k potentially. Plus losing support network (oh hey can you watch my kid for an hour, etc).
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Apr 24, 2015 17:11
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Make sure you do a fair analysis of a new job offer. For example, if you are currently making $60k and get an offer for $90k in Virginia, of the extra $30k: * $5000 goes to paying state tax that you currently don't have to pay * $2300 goes to extra social security/medicare tax * $4500+ goes to extra federal income tax I guess I'm mainly trying to point out to not forget about state income tax, since you've never had one before.
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Apr 24, 2015 17:17
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http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/apa/4993532782.html - $2,750 2 bedroom 2 bath in San Jose http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/apa/4993260361.html - $2,065 1 bedroom 1 bath in San Jose http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/apa/4970482240.html - $2,500 2 bedroom 2 bath in Fremont http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/apa/4991056860.html - $2,117 1 bedroom 1 bath in Fremont http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/apa/4993970362.html - $1,595 1 bedroom 1 bath in Dublin (this would be a 1 hour commute most days if you drove, probably 30-45 minutes on public transit) Housing prices in California / Bay Area are outrageous. You can probably find places a bit cheaper but honestly expect to pay $2,000+ a month if you want to live in the non-ghetto in a 2 bedroom. EDIT: Also CA State Income Tax is pretty high. Assuming you make $100k a year and your wife doesn't work expect to pay about $5,000 a year in state income tax. Bugamol fucked around with this message at 17:30 on Apr 24, 2015 |
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Apr 24, 2015 17:27
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Doubling your salary and your cost of living is good as long as your cost of living isn't your whole salary. But yes, please do the math before you accept any offer, people here are happy to help.
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Apr 24, 2015 17:32
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