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Welp, first day on the job while "deployed." Our primary job is to take everyone else's products, and consolidate specific information for two O-6s formatted in whatever way they want. The 4 of us (3 Maj, 1 Capt) cost the AF about 500k/year in pay/TDY costs to do this job. There are like 200 O-6s just in my building and 10 in the room I work in. Kinda funny. xaarman fucked around with this message at 02:01 on Apr 23, 2015 |
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Apr 23, 2015 01:35
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Are you at the AWACS deployed location? If so, I just want to point out that this job was literally created to give Lts experience briefing and to give them something to do. What the O-6 responsible didn't realize is that there WERE no unemployed Lts, so it fell to the O-3 thru O-5 level.
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Apr 23, 2015 03:56
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burn all things awacs
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Apr 23, 2015 04:07
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Helldump Immunity. posted:I found that taking over a job from a totally incompetent shitbag and then doing the bare minimum makes you look pretty good too. This has seriously largely been the story of my career thus far e: I guess in a couple cases I've done a fair bit more than the bare minimum but it's amazing how competent you can look when you roll in behind an idiot Helldump Immunity. posted:burn all things
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Apr 23, 2015 05:08
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( )
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Apr 23, 2015 05:13
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Easy way to do a tour: 1. The guy you replaced was a dirtbag. Even if they were ten times smarter, hard working and better looking than you are, always find ways to point out how you're fixing the previous guys' screw-ups. This makes you look better and him/her worse, but screw them, they're not here. 2. Do the bare minimum to stay off of everyone's radar and always look really, really busy. People will assume you're amazing at your job because you're capable of tying your shoes while making it look like nuclear physics. 3. Never answer a question about your job straight out, even if it's elementary school easy. Always give the real answer as a tentative answer and say you need to go research it first. This gives you more time to be left alone and makes simple issues sound like they're really not. Also when you come back later and say "I've researched it, and it was just what I suspected" you look smart. 4. When you hit your last year, start knocking out off-duty programs that give big awards for minimal effort. Get DG at an easy PME course, go lead a sports team to a first place win against the US Army Special Olympics Unit, whatever. This will be on the top of your stack of solid evals when dec time rolls around, and since everyone is convinced you've been valiantly fighting an uphill battle with your braindead programs you'll look like a blueblooded god. Just don't do this too early or it will become expected behavior.
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Apr 23, 2015 05:44
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Wild T posted:2. Do the bare minimum to stay off of everyone's radar and always look really, really busy. People will assume you're amazing at your job because you're capable of tying your shoes while making it look like nuclear physics. Clipboards pretty much do this on their own.
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Apr 23, 2015 05:57
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Wild T posted:3. Never answer a question about your job straight out, even if it's elementary school easy. Always give the real answer as a tentative answer and say you need to go research it first. This gives you more time to be left alone and makes simple issues sound like they're really not. Also when you come back later and say "I've researched it, and it was just what I suspected" you look smart. This is literally mx rule #1 Underpromise and overdeliver
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Apr 23, 2015 06:50
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Path to a successful Air Force career: #1. Look to George Costanza for professional advice Have a great Air Force day! terrez fucked around with this message at 09:04 on Apr 23, 2015 |
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Apr 23, 2015 09:02
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I thought it was 'Keep a spare hat and keys on your desk so people think you're in the building somewhere'
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Apr 23, 2015 11:43
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nullscan posted:I thought it was 'Keep a spare hat and keys on your desk so people think you're in the building somewhere' Sage advice.
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Apr 23, 2015 11:50
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Godholio posted:Are you at the AWACS deployed location? If so, I just want to point out that this job was literally created to give Lts experience briefing and to give them something to do. What the O-6 responsible didn't realize is that there WERE no unemployed Lts, so it fell to the O-3 thru O-5 level. I am at the CENTCOM Joint Operations Center at MacDill AFB. There are four of us, a USMC Major, a USAF Major, and some dude I haven't met yet (also a Major I hear.) I man the floor, and generate a tiny part of the brief that CENTCOM gives the Joint Staff every morning. That's kind of neat, I guess. xaarman fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Apr 23, 2015 |
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Apr 23, 2015 22:36
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Winning the War on PowerPoint(tm)
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Apr 23, 2015 23:43
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Son, we live in a world that has PowerPoint, and those slides have to be produced by men with computers. Whose gonna do it? You? You, General? I have greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for my briefings, and you curse my formatting. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That my briefings, while drawn out, probably save lives. And that my formatting, while complicated and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want my presentations, you need my presentations. We use words like clip art, nudge, and paste special. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent briefing something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my formatting to a man who briefs and gets promoted using the very brief that I provide, then questions the manner in which I format it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a mouse and keyboard, and build a brief. Either way, I don’t give a drat what you think the slide should say!
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Apr 24, 2015 00:27
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Lazy Reservist posted:Son, we live in a world that has PowerPoint, and those slides have to be produced by men with computers. Whose gonna do it? You? You, General? I have greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for my briefings, and you curse my formatting. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That my briefings, while drawn out, probably save lives. And that my formatting, while complicated and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want my presentations, you need my presentations. We use words like clip art, nudge, and paste special. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent briefing something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my formatting to a man who briefs and gets promoted using the very brief that I provide, then questions the manner in which I format it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a mouse and keyboard, and build a brief. Either way, I don’t give a drat what you think the slide should say! You got tasked for Wing Standup, huh?
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Apr 24, 2015 00:37
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Nah, I've just been building briefings since 7.0.
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Apr 24, 2015 00:46
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Lazy Reservist posted:Son, we live in a world that has PowerPoint, and those slides have to be produced by men with computers. Whose gonna do it? You? You, General? I have greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for my briefings, and you curse my formatting. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That my briefings, while drawn out, probably save lives. And that my formatting, while complicated and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want my presentations, you need my presentations. We use words like clip art, nudge, and paste special. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent briefing something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my formatting to a man who briefs and gets promoted using the very brief that I provide, then questions the manner in which I format it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a mouse and keyboard, and build a brief. Either way, I don’t give a drat what you think the slide should say!  We had a guy in the 609th who had a staff of three NCOs working under him, and their sole job was to convert the reports that everyone else was required to produce into the format that the general wanted to see on his slides. I hated him.
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Apr 24, 2015 01:19
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Lazy Reservist posted:Son, we live in a world that has PowerPoint, and those slides have to be produced by men with computers. Whose gonna do it? You? You, General? I have greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for my briefings, and you curse my formatting. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That my briefings, while drawn out, probably save lives. And that my formatting, while complicated and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want my presentations, you need my presentations. We use words like clip art, nudge, and paste special. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent briefing something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my formatting to a man who briefs and gets promoted using the very brief that I provide, then questions the manner in which I format it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a mouse and keyboard, and build a brief. Either way, I don’t give a drat what you think the slide should say! That is great. I'll probably put it on Facebook and not give you credit.
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Apr 24, 2015 02:10
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Dead Reckoning posted:
That'd be my dream AGR job.
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Apr 24, 2015 02:12
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Helldump Immunity. posted:That'd be my dream AGR job.
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Apr 24, 2015 02:30
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xaarman posted:That is great. I'll probably put it on Facebook and not give you credit. That's fine. Like everything else intel related, it's stolen without credit.
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Apr 24, 2015 03:12
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Dead Reckoning posted:He was AD. And a worthless turd to boot. If he had to do anything other than copy/paste numbers, he would come down to the ops floor and ask you to either do it for him, or talk out the ops summary you already typed up, but which he didn't actually read. "I'm really more of a numbers guy." It's a well-known fact that 80-90% of AF officers are insanely retarded and only keep an office chair warm.
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Apr 24, 2015 03:31
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Larry Parrish posted:It's a well-known fact that 90-100% of AF officers are insanely retarded and only keep an office chair warm. fixed for you bud
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Apr 24, 2015 04:51
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xaarman posted:That is great. I'll probably put it on Facebook and not give you credit. Good staff work
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Apr 24, 2015 05:41
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Helldump Immunity. posted:burn all things awacs Jet fuel can absolutely melt AWACS. 
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Apr 24, 2015 21:21
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xaarman posted:That is great. I'll probably put it on Facebook and not give you credit. I already did.
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Apr 24, 2015 23:10
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So how hosed am I for getting a TDV? I'm feeling an article 15 coming my way but no one here knows for sure.
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Apr 24, 2015 23:32
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A Kpro posted:So how hosed am I for getting a TDV? I'm feeling an article 15 coming my way but no one here knows for sure. Is that like a maintenance thing or something.
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Apr 24, 2015 23:44
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Did you sell technical data or something? Is this the maintainer version of leaving a bunch of people's medical forms on the bus?
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Apr 24, 2015 23:45
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I didn't have a TO open while calibrating a torque wrench.
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Apr 24, 2015 23:55
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A Kpro posted:So how hosed am I for getting a TDV? I'm feeling an article 15 coming my way but no one here knows for sure. Typically you have to explain to supervision/chief why you where a dumbass. Depending on how your unit is ran you could get a LOR to nothing if the good ole boy club runs strong and you are in it. Edit: your QA guys are terrible and out to get people if the give you a TDV for that, your Chief should be choke slamming somebody for that write up. Rythe fucked around with this message at 00:19 on Apr 25, 2015 |
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Apr 25, 2015 00:17
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Somebody put this in perspective. Is this like the time everyone through a big hissy fit just because I got the aortic balloon pump stuck and the patient had a minor fatal heart attack? Some people get worked up over any little thing.
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Apr 25, 2015 00:41
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Not maintenance here, but is it like getting a Q-3 for "aircrew discipline" for wearing unauthorized boots?
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Apr 25, 2015 00:59
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Derek Dominoe posted:Somebody put this in perspective. Is this like the time everyone through a big hissy fit just because I got the aortic balloon pump stuck and the patient had a minor fatal heart attack? Some people get worked up over any little thing. He was doing something he's done a million times before but didn't have the instructions open.
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Apr 25, 2015 03:36
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Lazy Reservist posted:Son, we live in a world that has PowerPoint, and those slides have to be produced by men with computers. Whose gonna do it? You? You, General? I have greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for my briefings, and you curse my formatting. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That my briefings, while drawn out, probably save lives. And that my formatting, while complicated and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want my presentations, you need my presentations. We use words like clip art, nudge, and paste special. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent briefing something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my formatting to a man who briefs and gets promoted using the very brief that I provide, then questions the manner in which I format it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a mouse and keyboard, and build a brief. Either way, I don’t give a drat what you think the slide should say! I keep reading this and laughing like an idiot
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Apr 25, 2015 03:44
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A Kpro posted:So how hosed am I for getting a TDV? I'm feeling an article 15 coming my way but no one here knows for sure. Rythe already covered it, it really depends on the leadership, whether it's a "trend" (i.e. whether your unit is full of dumbasses who have already gotten caught doing stupid poo poo by QA and therefore they're going to "send a message" with you), and ultimately whether or not you are a part of the good ol' boy network. Most units I've been in, one of the Big Three just nets you a stern "conversation" from your shop chief and usually having to go talk to flight/AMU leadership. Only times I've generally seen paperwork handed out was if the person in question was a complete poo poo-bag and even then it was usually just a LOC from the shop chief and was basically done for the purposes of further documenting that the person in question was a poo poo-bag. Of course I've usually been in pretty decent units that have a rational approach to QA and the one exception to that featured leadership trying to yank people's stripes for QA fails (like not even a TDV or DSV, I'm talking like failing a KTL) so YMMV I guess. Also yeah like Rythe said I'd be having a private conversation with the QA Chief Inspector or Supt if someone tried to give one of my guys a TDV for a bullshit write-up like that. standard.deviant posted:Not maintenance here, but is it like getting a Q-3 for "aircrew discipline" for wearing unauthorized boots? In this instance think of it more along the lines of "didn't have the Dash 1 open when flipping the switch to turn on aircraft power to start pre-flight."
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Apr 25, 2015 04:22
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standard.deviant posted:Not maintenance here, but is it like getting a Q-3 for "aircrew discipline" for wearing unauthorized boots? iyaayas01 posted:In this instance think of it more along the lines of "didn't have the Dash 1 open when flipping the switch to turn on aircraft power to start pre-flight."
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Apr 25, 2015 04:38
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A Kpro posted:I didn't have a TO open while calibrating a torque wrench. Considering a TO placed face down to keep the pages from blowing away started the chain of events that led to my Article 15... You're hosed. Edit: I should probably elaborate. The "stern talking to" I received as a result of this incident laid the groundwork for throwing me under the bus 6 months later. So I would recommend being a huge stickler for regs and rules until you PCS. Nostalgia4Infinity fucked around with this message at 04:56 on Apr 25, 2015 |
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Apr 25, 2015 04:51
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Dominoes posted:You're kidding? Nope pretty much accurate. I mean one of the mx guys itt can correct me if they think I'm off base but calibrating a torque wrench is something that is literally like the definition of A Kpro's job so the idea that he didn't have a TO opened to perform what is basically fiddling with a torque wrench and making a few adjustments to make sure its within tolerance is loving ludicrous. I mean yeah by the book you should at least have the TO opened (better be to the right page Airman!) but no one loving does that in the real world. But then again I'm at a base where explosive safety briefings sometimes consist of "so we have some bombs out here, evac distance is 4,000 ft, if you see a bunch of us running hop in the truck and haul rear end." Nostalgia4Infinity posted:Considering a TO placed face down to keep the pages from blowing away started the chain of events that led to my Article 15... You're hosed. hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I'm sorry but I'm just going to reiterate what I've said multiple times previously: I want nothing to do with the 18th MXG
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Apr 25, 2015 05:03
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There was a lot that went into that Article 15 (including a little dash of homophobia) but it all started with that loving tire change and following the Air Force core values and not spinning a white lie. poo poo happened over 5 years ago and I'm still pissed about it 
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Apr 25, 2015 05:11
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