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Soylent Pudding posted:The more pressure you put on yourself to orgasm the more difficult it will be to relax and do so. You could try doing some mindfullness exercises and the next time your with her really focus on things in the moment like the physical sensations of different touches and the sounds. To be clear I did things with her also which she seemed to enjoy more than me if sound is any indication. I found it to be fairly underwhelming which I guess is inevitable when you have built it up in your mind for like 16 years. I am more worried about having a proper first experience because I have only a small window of time
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Apr 26, 2015 01:05
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Who gives a gently caress about a "proper" experience? Go over to her place, have fun, make squishy noises, and just enjoy whatever happens.
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Apr 26, 2015 01:15
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Hey guys, I've been lasting for like an hour long, and I think I'm too girthy, what should I do? I thought I'd be the god of sex, but my girlfriend finishes after about 15 minutes, and I'm just kind of left wanking, and the whole feels too tight. Is there anything I can do to be a little less big / cum quicker?
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Apr 26, 2015 01:16
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Turtlicious posted:Hey guys, I've been lasting for like an hour long, and I think I'm too girthy, what should I do? I thought I'd be the god of sex, but my girlfriend finishes after about 15 minutes, and I'm just kind of left wanking, and the whole feels too tight. Is there anything I can do to be a little less big / cum quicker? Butt stuff.
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Apr 26, 2015 01:18
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FAUXTON posted:Butt stuff. The solution to everything, including bad posting.
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Apr 26, 2015 01:35
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Soylent Pudding posted:Who gives a gently caress about a "proper" experience? Go over to her place, have fun, make squishy noises, and just enjoy whatever happens. All I mean by proper is having an orgasm because I did not manage that last time and it has me worried. and because I only can see her for another day or two
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Apr 26, 2015 01:59
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Use some lube/some more lube.
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Apr 26, 2015 02:26
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Soylent Pudding posted:Who gives a gently caress about a "proper" experience? Go over to her place, have fun, make squishy noises, and just enjoy whatever happens. The idea that "making squishy noises" is a primary component of sex, however true, makes me giggle 
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Apr 26, 2015 02:27
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asvodel posted:All I mean by proper is having an orgasm because I did not manage that last time and it has me worried. and because I only can see her for another day or two The sooner you stop thinking sex should or has to end with orgasm, the sooner you can start having good sex. Seriously, as long as you and her have fun, it doesn't matter at all.
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Apr 26, 2015 04:14
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hoobajoo posted:The sooner you stop thinking sex should or has to end with orgasm, the sooner you can start having good sex. Seriously, as long as you and her have fun, it doesn't matter at all. Seriously. I rarely orgasm during sex, but that's fine because it just means I can keep having sex for longer!
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Apr 26, 2015 04:48
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I've pretty much asked the same question a long time ago in here, but I just spent the night with this absolutely beautiful girl. Our first date, and honestly I just might say it was the best date I've ever had. We're both not ones to have sex on the first date, but we just couldn't really tear each other off of each other. Thing is, according to her, I got her off 4 times. Which is a new record for me, from what I know. Problem is, I...didn't get off (I'm a dude for clarification). Now, some facts: - Been a year since my last relationship - Been almost a year since my last good sex (I had a brief couple of times in December, but it was weird and I don't count it) - I masturbate usually twice a day every day, so maybe I need to stop so I can build my sensitivity back up - Before my last relationship ended a year ago, I was a virgin before a year with that girl - I had 2 beers early in the day, and then a Corona + margarita on the date and I'm super bad about 'whiskey dick' - We weren't using condoms, which is how I've had 90% of sex in my life so I was comfortable. But I think I became too worried about pulling out when I was about to get off because I hadn't done it in so long that I thought about it too much. It was really frustrating because I think it made her feel self concious that she couldn't get me off after going for so long. We talked about it a little and I was honest and told her that I had this same thing happen to me with my last girlfriend. I didn't want to bring up any 'past times', but I felt being open and honest was the right route. That it took me a couple of times having sex to get off once I was more used to the person. I mean, I'm so used to being alone that I have to share the bed with a girl about 2-3 times before I can actually get a night's rest next to her (I'm 27). I've probably answered my own question now, it just was frustrating cause I like this girl a lot and she is by far the most beautiful girl I've been with. After I mentioned some of this stuff, it seemed to ease her mind coupled with how much I got her off and she seemed pumped at the idea of getting over this little hump. I just am still frustrated I didn't get off. Basically, I need to stop masturbating for a while if we start dating (early to say, but it's looking up), right?
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Apr 26, 2015 14:34
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89 posted:I've pretty much asked the same question a long time ago in here, but I just spent the night with this absolutely beautiful girl. Our first date, and honestly I just might say it was the best date I've ever had. We're both not ones to have sex on the first date, but we just couldn't really tear each other off of each other. Something about this post suggests to me that chilling out a bit might help EDIT: I realize that was not entirely helpful. Just relax, enjoy that fact that you're satisfying a beautiful woman who really likes you. Actively focusing on her enjoyment will help - there's nothing more of a turn-on than someone you are attracted to and care about getting off, and it will take your mind off your insecurity. Not jerking it will help, but not stressing out about whether you blow a load will help a lot more. TheQuietWilds fucked around with this message at 15:19 on Apr 26, 2015 |
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Apr 26, 2015 15:11
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89 posted:Basically, I need to stop masturbating for a while if we start dating (early to say, but it's looking up), right? You need to stop worrying. If you've been gong at it awhile and she can't continue (hey, it happens - poo poo starts to hurt), do other stuff. Ask her to give you a BJ. If you just made her cum 4 times, I don't think she'll be opposed to a little reciprocation. Or better yet, if you know you're in for a long one, START with the other stuff. PS: She's on BC, right? Pulling out isn't going to make a big difference on the effectiveness of that, so don't worry about it. Likewise, pulling out isn't going to stop her from getting pregnant if she's not, so don't fool yourself.
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Apr 26, 2015 15:17
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Take it easy, and once you're fed up with trying, roll over, give her a kiss, say "don't worry about it, everything's cool" and go to sleep. Rinse and repeat.
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Apr 26, 2015 15:18
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Yeah, I'm probably worrying too much. It's just been a while and I think I was a little overwhelmed. Although, considering I got her off twice during intercourse, once during fingering her, and once during oral...I think I made a pretty good first impression. I just hated she said twice she was feeling self concious. But, I think I worked it out after talking to her. Things will probably be fine. But yeah, if this keeps going, it'll definitely be time for a birth control question pretty soon. My last girlfriend was on BC and I would pull out on her usually. Granted, I think the BC made her a little crazy at times...but she was a little crazier than I thought at the time, too. That's a different story. Anyways, thanks guys.
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Apr 26, 2015 16:03
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89 posted:But yeah, if this keeps going, it'll definitely be time for a birth control question pretty soon. You don't know?  
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Apr 26, 2015 16:19
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guys can I give you a little update...? I saw the girl from my last post again today and it went better but still super awkward and I wonder if there is actually something wrong with me physically or mentally. The first thing was she gave me a hand job and it was the most amazing feeling in my whole life (even though it was not the first one) but then a few minutes into it goes back to more or less the sort of mild weak feeling from the other day. We do manage to have actual penetrative sex but oddly it does not feel as good as the very beginning of the day did and several times I get soft inside her and fall out and have trouble re-entering I am not sure maybe there was too much lubricant because it was very slippery and several times the condom almost fell off Anyway it is the same as the last time at the end where I do not come the whole time and we give up and just lie around saying stuff like well that's a shame and isn't that strange and I don't understand I don't get it and I think maybe I am incapable of doing this right I do not know if it is because of starting at a late age or what I still have plans to do it the next few days but now I am worried that it will be just a similar bad experience and if I should just give up on the idea of doing things with another person by the way am I still technically a virgin or can I have my official cool sexhaver card now .... ? I literally have no idea not that it matters to anyone but me
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Apr 26, 2015 16:31
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Your condom shouldn't be falling off, even with a half-chub. It might be too big. Don't masturbate for like a week, then try to have sex. If you still get soft, see your doctor (or just stop wearing a condom if she's clean and on BC, I guess). Nobody cares if you call yourself a virgin or not, so go wild and brag to your friends about how much of a stud you are.
KillHour fucked around with this message at 17:17 on Apr 26, 2015 |
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Apr 26, 2015 17:12
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asvodel posted:guys can I give you a little update...? Oh my god stop gooning out over sex. You are having fun and feeling good with a nice lady, it does not matter if your dick sneezes or not. You obviously have a ton of anxiety around sex, and it won't magically go away after one or two tries, you need to accept that it'll take some time to work through. The more you worry about the "right" way to have sex, the less you'll enjoy it, and the harder it will be to orgasm. This is common with guys that lose their virginity later, but it's not some witch's curse that can't be undone, you just need practice. Think about it, have you ever expected to be good at something the first time you try it? No, because sucking at something is always the first step to being kinda good at something, so just relax and focus on the journey. And make sure you keep talking to your girl, people are very understanding when you're frank with them. Next time you have sex, watch a porno and jerk off while she sucks your balls or something. That should be the closest thing to what you're used to, so it should be the easiest to cum.
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Apr 26, 2015 17:19
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hoobajoo posted:Oh my god stop gooning out over sex. You are having fun and feeling good with a nice lady, it does not matter if your dick sneezes or not. You obviously have a ton of anxiety around sex, and it won't magically go away after one or two tries, you need to accept that it'll take some time to work through. The more you worry about the "right" way to have sex, the less you'll enjoy it, and the harder it will be to orgasm. This is common with guys that lose their virginity later, but it's not some witch's curse that can't be undone, you just need practice. Think about it, have you ever expected to be good at something the first time you try it? No, because sucking at something is the first step to being kinda good at something, so just relax and focus on the journey. And make sure you talk to your girl and explain what's going on, people are very understanding. Also this. Next time you see her, don't have sex. Just have her give you a blow job or something. Then you can finger her / eat her out / gently caress her with a dildo all night and both of you can get off without the pressure of performing. Once you get comfortable doing that stuff to each other, vaginal sex should be no big deal and just another way you two can have fun. Turtlicious posted:Hey guys, I've been lasting for like an hour long, and I think I'm too girthy, what should I do? I thought I'd be the god of sex, but my girlfriend finishes after about 15 minutes, and I'm just kind of left wanking, and the whole feels too tight. Is there anything I can do to be a little less big / cum quicker? This, but unironically. 
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Apr 26, 2015 17:24
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I know it's not exactly what you were asking, but:89 posted:first date This was incredibly dumb.
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Apr 26, 2015 17:27
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Mak0rz posted:I know it's not exactly what you were asking, but: Goon does dumb thing; story at 11.
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Apr 26, 2015 17:31
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asvodel posted:guys can I give you a little update...? Dude just try some butt stuff. Either your butt or hers or both. Your own G-spot is hidden in your butt, see if messing with it helps you get off.
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Apr 26, 2015 17:50
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FAUXTON posted:Dude just try some butt stuff. Either your butt or hers or both. Your own G-spot is hidden in your butt, see if messing with it helps you get off. The best thing for someone with a lot of anxiety and tension surrounding sex is to put stuff in their butt.
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Apr 26, 2015 17:57
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KillHour posted:Your condom shouldn't be falling off, even with a half-chub. It might be too big. Don't masturbate for like a week, then try to have sex. If you still get soft, see your doctor (or just stop wearing a condom if she's clean and on BC, I guess). Nobody cares if you call yourself a virgin or not, so go wild and brag to your friends about how much of a stud you are. Can you elaborate on the condom thing please because you are saying the condom is too big and I thought it was actually too small because it is very tight and hard to put on and both days she said "doesn't it hurt?" when I put it on I should have maybe said slipping off because it kind of peeled down to the end of the tip if I recall pfff hahaha I already bragged to a friend about the "too big not fitting" thing from the first day even before actual sex occurred and due to lack of options I picked the worst person in the world (other than my family) to do so with I guess I was a complete idiot to have idealized expectations and think that everything would go well the first time (or two) This is not a long-term relationship and unfortunately all the advice about waiting a week or doing a lot of times for practice are not possible
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Apr 26, 2015 18:02
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hoobajoo posted:The best thing for someone with a lot of anxiety and tension surrounding sex is to put stuff in their butt. And lube. Lots of lube.
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Apr 26, 2015 18:04
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asvodel posted:Can you elaborate on the condom thing please because you are saying the condom is too big and I thought it was actually too small because it is very tight and hard to put on and both days she said "doesn't it hurt?" when I put it on Do you have foreskin? Condoms are kinda tricky to put on if you have foreskin. If you won't be seeing this person again, just find someone else and mess around with them for a while until you're more comfortable. I don't see the problem with that.
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Apr 26, 2015 18:07
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hoobajoo posted:Do you have foreskin? Condoms are kinda tricky to put on if you have foreskin. I do not have a foreskin I thought maybe it was a problem with buying the wrong size / kind or just not knowing what I am doing dude up until today I was a 27 year old virgin it is not that simple for me ok....? I am sorry this is not the kind of advice I am looking for I just want to have a sexual encounter which involves actual ejaculation and does not end with confusion and disappointment and feelings of inadequacy i guess it is too much to ask
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Apr 26, 2015 18:25
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asvodel posted:I do not have a foreskin And we're telling you your preconceived notions of sex are too narrow and are what is causing you to get hung up. Instead of trying to have "sex" how about trying to have fun. You'll find that if you're having fun, the sex comes naturally. Also yeah, I thought you meant sliding off, not rolling down. Don't use a condom that's too small - they can split.
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Apr 26, 2015 18:29
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asvodel posted:I do not have a foreskin Well, your sex life won't get better by NOT having sex, so if you can't keep it up with your current partner, you need to find another. I know that sometimes isn't easy, but it is a simple roadmap.
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Apr 26, 2015 19:09
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If you're using lovely free condoms from planned parenthood that might be part of the problem. I'm average length and a little girthy, and every free condom I ever tried was horrible, they felt bad, they rolled off, I came too early, bad sex in general (The relationship was also poo poo, which didn't help). Shop around a bit and try out different types of condoms. Jerking off while wearing a condom can help you get used to the feeling, and let you know if you like the fit. Always have the other person put the condom on you, it's way easier to stay hard if you make boring things sexy. Also Dan Savage recommends smoking weed and butt stuff, so broaden those horizons some. Really just go listen to the savage love podcast. It'll give tons of examples of people just having fun and not worrying about goal oriented sex.
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Apr 26, 2015 19:23
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Brutor Fartknocker posted:If you're using lovely free condoms from planned parenthood that might be part of the problem. I'm average length and a little girthy, and every free condom I ever tried was horrible, they felt bad, they rolled off, I came too early, bad sex in general (The relationship was also poo poo, which didn't help). The condoms are not free they are trojan brand I bought them I wonder if having a small condom has something to do with the problem like pressure or whatever I don't have time right now to get another kind but I guess should it ever come up in the future I will try to get a larger size. My only "expectation" here is to end in ejaculation instead of ending in giving up out of frustration and lying around doing nothing. And I guess for it to feel substantially better than doing by yourself. Is that really such an unreasonable and unrealistic expectation to have
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Apr 26, 2015 19:39
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Try masturbating in condoms. Try a few brands. Get one that works for you. Nothing wrong with using posh wanks to find the best condoms.
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Apr 26, 2015 19:40
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Just chill and put your expectations on the side when loving. If you keep going in thinking "I need to climax" it's gonna keep going that way for you, at least for a long while. Just relax, hang out, and mess around. No expectations, no goals. If you get there, that's cool, if you don't, that's cool too. The point should be to have fun together, not to climax-that's just a cherry on top.
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Apr 26, 2015 19:45
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Stop overthinking sex, you stupid assholes.
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Apr 26, 2015 19:58
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asvodel posted:The condoms are not free they are trojan brand I bought them Trojans are one of the worse brands, but they were the ones I tried first and they have actual marketing, so can't blame you for that one. Try Skyn, Crown, or Kimono, those all have good reputations. Your expectation is unrealistic; you expect sex, which you just started having, to feel better than masturbating, which you've had over a decade of practice. Even then, sex doesn't feel better than masturbating purely in terms of sensation, but it's a lot more fun and satisfying to do it with another person. That's why the orgasm doesn't really matter, because the best parts of sex are the things you can't experience by yourself.
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Apr 26, 2015 20:00
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Stop over thinking assholes, you stupid sex havers. Try buttstuff.
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Apr 26, 2015 20:01
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asvodel posted:The condoms are not free they are trojan brand I bought them Masturbation almost always feels better than sex with a condom. Sex without a condom may or may not feel better than masturbation. Sex is still more fun either way because you get to play with her tits and/or smack her rear end (depending on position). HTH. Edit: Have you only tried one position? Try doggie. I find positions where the girl is on top to not be very fun (for me) with a condom on because there's not as much up and down motion. KillHour fucked around with this message at 20:48 on Apr 26, 2015 |
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Apr 26, 2015 20:45
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Try punctuation. It won't help with the sex thing but it will make reading your posts a lot more bearable.
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Apr 26, 2015 20:48
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hoobajoo posted:Even then, sex doesn't feel better than masturbating purely in terms of sensation You either have better masturbation techniques or worse sex than me! For purely feeling my rankings would be: Hand Job Masturbation Sex with Condom Sex Head For overall enjoyment it's more Masturbation Hand Job Sex with Condom Head Sex
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Apr 26, 2015 21:05
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