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my dad posted:Good fight. Very much so, my dad. Very much so.
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May 13, 2015 22:04
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| # ? May 30, 2024 11:49 |
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Standing with a broken spine. Highly suspicious! I want that smurf investigated for match fixing!  Seriously though, it was every bit as bloody and brutal as I had hoped it would be.
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May 14, 2015 01:06
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That was a good match. Can't say I didn't get a little nervous when I read GBS broke his spine.
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May 14, 2015 01:30
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I just checked my payouts. Apparently due to betting it all on myself, I'm now in the lead. 
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May 14, 2015 01:49
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Sorry all, maybe an update in like 6 or 7 hours, but it's gonna be a bit. poo poo went sideways on me and I gotta go do some work. Yay for consulting rates!
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May 14, 2015 15:56
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 Round 1, Fight 4 Welcome back! Sorry for the delay. To make up for it we've got the serpentwoman Floss Thrice Daily, managed by Tunicate against the troll, Vox tu Fistula, managed by HerpcicleOmicron5 or some poo poo. The troll has size, a bigass bladed weapon, and some armor. Will it be enough to get through the unarmed serpentmans armor? Lets find out!  The gladiators meet near the center of the arena, Floss Thrice Daily immediately diving to the floor to gnaw on Vox tu Fistula's foot. The leather boot stops the venom! That's a lifesaver right there. The huge troll swings the copper sword and fractures Floss Thrice Daily's forearm! Blood spurts, nerves and tendons are severed.  Floss Thrice Daily jumps away from the next attack, then lunges forward and bites the troll in the upper thigh... muscles are torn, but even worse: Venom has been injected. Vox tu Fistula knows poo poo is about to go down, so he lunges forward and attempts to gore the smaller serpentwoman. Floss Thrice Daily dances backward, preventing the troll's tusks from getting to her brain. As it is her eye is ruined. Vox tu Fistula mutters "oh poo poo" and falls to the floor paralyzed.  Floss Thrice Daily bites Vox tu Fistula in the head, but the helm prevents any real damage. In anger, the serpentwoman thrashes the larger troll around by her mouth. Fat is torn in the trolls head, he passes out from pain rather than the venom. Floss Thrice Daily bites and bites and bites and bites and bites and bites and bites and bites and bites and bites and bites and bites.  About an hour later Floss Thrice Daily is able to see out of her eye again!  Vox tu Fistula is exhausted from all this 'being bitten' crap.  Really tired.  What's this? For some unknown reason the serpentwoman is stunned! This is the moment Vox tu Fistula has been waiting for! All he has to do is regain consciousness before the snakewoman. No idea, combat log doesn't say poo poo about getting stunned.  Floss Thrice Daily goes from stunned to unconscious in the space of ten seconds.  C'mon Vox, stand up buddy!  The nap that Floss Thrice Daily took cured her eye completely. Amazing. Note that gametime has been running full speed for about 12 minutes at this point.  Vox is no longer over-exterted. His time to shine is near, I can feel it!  Well gently caress this. I'm going to go play agar.io for a while.  You too, snakey? TIME PASSES  I don't even care anymore, one of you just loving die already. MORE TIME PASSES  Horray, someone died finally. Winner: Floss Thrice Daily Combat Log Edit: 1261 loving lines of the combat log. Compared to 221 for the last fight that lasted a long time. Knobgoblin's fight had 22 lines in the combat log. Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 21:03 on May 14, 2015 |
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May 14, 2015 20:59
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Well it's about bloody time and I--wait...what?
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May 14, 2015 21:07
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What an exciting, fast paced game.
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May 14, 2015 21:12
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Honestly, I did not expect my defeat to be this early and now I'm broke. Aw shucks.
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May 14, 2015 21:21
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Spermy Smurf posted:Welcome back! Sorry for the delay. There's your problem. And it appears I'm now ahead at 3279.60 points. But yeah the test fights I ran never took *that* long. I guess I should have tried against trolls and yetis instead of molemarians and elves. Tunicate fucked around with this message at 21:26 on May 14, 2015 |
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May 14, 2015 21:24
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Top snaking.
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May 14, 2015 21:25
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Living the snakey dream, Tunicate.
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May 14, 2015 21:45
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Arena admins: please rename Long Battles To Annoy Commissioner
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May 14, 2015 21:58
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Tunicate posted:Arena admins: please rename Long Battles To Annoy Commissioner I think I still have first dibs on that name. 
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May 14, 2015 22:27
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What was the longest match on record?
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May 14, 2015 22:28
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my dad posted:What was the longest match on record? That would appear to be Prancer (managed by astus) vs. George R. R. Gaylord (managed by sants) from the first round of the third tournament. http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/view_combat_log.php?142 The combat log is over 5000 lines, and it appears to involve a crossbowman running out of ammunition and beating a well-armored foe to death with the crossbow.
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May 14, 2015 22:36
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Floss Thrice Daily carries on the dream!
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May 15, 2015 01:58
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Jazzimus Prime posted:That would appear to be Prancer (managed by astus) vs. George R. R. Gaylord (managed by sants) from the first round of the third tournament. What's the shortest, out of curiosity?
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May 15, 2015 03:21
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I'll guess any number of mine. e: Man, somewhere out there, someone made a comic detailing gently caress Rogers and his Silver Armor Master Plan, and the astounding success thereof. But I can not for the life of me find it. ee: Aww, crap, I think I found the link to the comic...https://wi.somethingawful.com/36/363b136162c97389c7070076891561ab3ff7024d.jpg 
Bad Munki fucked around with this message at 03:34 on May 15, 2015 |
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May 15, 2015 03:23
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There was one fight where a crossbow user hit a Minotaur right between the eyes on the first shot.
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May 15, 2015 03:29
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Coward posted:What's the shortest, out of curiosity? A good poster posted:There was one fight where a crossbow user hit a Minotaur right between the eyes on the first shot. Yes, it looks like it's this one: http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/view_combat_log.php?264 The fastest melee fight appears to be a three-way tie. These fights are technically longer than the one mentioned above because the fighters had to cross to the center of the arena. http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/view_combat_log.php?149 http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/view_combat_log.php?159 http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/view_combat_log.php?251
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May 15, 2015 05:08
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Tunicate bumped me off the top of the big bet winners because of everyone that bet on the troll instead of the tiny snake.
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May 15, 2015 05:22
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Don't worry, if it had gone on any longer it would have swung the other way. From the tournament RAWs [CREATURE:SERPENT_MAN] [MAXAGE:60:80] [CREATURE:TROLL] [MAXAGE:800:1000]
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May 15, 2015 06:02
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Coward posted:Despite being in two prior tournaments, I still have no idea how this works. I haven't read how the fight went. This was still the right thing to do, yeah?
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May 15, 2015 06:08
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Coward posted:I haven't read how the fight went. This was still the right thing to do, yeah? code:
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May 15, 2015 06:14
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Round 1, Fight 5 On the left we have The Skewer, a kobold managed by Ramc. On the right we have Bloodsmear, a dwarf managed by Ghostwoods.  The two fighters are evenly matched skill-wise, Skewer carries a deadly spear while Bloodsmear wears armor that has no chance of stopping his opponents spear. The first swings are dodged and parried easily by both fighters.  The Skewer darts forward and stabs Bloodsmear in the left calf through the copper boot! An artery is opened, and Bloodsmear falls to the arena floor. Looks like it's all over, folks!  Holy poo poo! Bloodsmear swings as he is falling to the floor and connects solidly with The Skewer's right thigh! The Skewer is in pain and falls to the floor spewing blood everywhere. This match could go either way!  The Skewer pulls the spear out of Bloodsmears leg and jabs it into his hand. The steel spear slides through the gauntlet with ease. Bloodsmear pases out from the pain.  The Skewer, still on the ground, stabs the unconscious dwarf in the head. Winner: The Skewer Combat Log
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May 15, 2015 14:01
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Well that was short. Just like the contestants
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May 15, 2015 14:10
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Damned stabbybolds.  Well played, Ramc.
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May 15, 2015 15:18
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The secret is that spears are really good.
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May 15, 2015 17:11
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Round 1, Fight 6 This fight couldn't be any more normal if the gladiators tried. We have a very normal hammerdwarf build by Zwingley: Urist McMuntcuffin by name. On the other side is a Strangler with a pick which we've seen a dozen times; Full Throttle by name and managed by AJ Impy.  The gladiators meet in the center of the arena, dodging and blocking attacks. After a few blows, Urist bruises Full Throttle's left lung! That'll take the wind out of your sails. Full Throttle responds by stabbing Urist in the foot with his pick; muscles, arteries, and tendons are torn open. The sturdy dwarf falls over. No idea why there is strangler blood on the floor.  From the ground Urist proves deadly. Another blow to the stranglers chest bruises the right lung! Both lungs are bruised, but the strangler can still stand! Urist McMuntcuffin: I've been injured badly. I cannot find hope.   gif Urist dodges blows from the ground, punching the Strangler in the face and then the hand. Muscle in Full Throttle's head has been bruised, and the first right hand has been crushed into a pile of goo.  Urist does something odd. He scratches Full Throttle in the already-bruised chest. Fat and muscle are further bruised, and that appears to be too much for Full Throttle to handle. Full Throttle is down!  Two quick hammer strikes and Full Throttle is no more. Winner: Urist McMuntcuffin Combat Log
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May 15, 2015 17:48
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Round 1, Fight 7 On the left: Fan Favourite Joss Whedon is a male Strangler fighter managed by Coward. I believe we've seen this build somewhere recently... On the right: Rimusutera is a female Elf fighter managed by Frozen_Flame. I really like elf builds on paper. They look great; enough points to do stuff with and not Dark Gnomes.  They gladiators meet in the center, first blows are parried and dodged as seems to be par for the course. Rimusutera lunges forward and thrusts her sword through Joss Whedon's right thigh. Joss Whedon falls to the floor immediately!  From the floor Joss Whedon manages to scratch Rimusutera's foot pretty badly. One of the stranglers other hands sends his iron pick into Rimusutera's left forearm.  Joss Whedon yanks the pick out and immediately sends it back into Rimusutera. The little elf's left foot is impaled. Arteries are opened, Rimusutera falls over unconscious from the pain.  And that's Rimusutera's head flying off right there. Winner: Fan Favorite Joss Whedon Combat Log
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May 15, 2015 18:09
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Someone post something, I'm ready to run more fights since I wont be able to Saturday or Sunday.
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May 15, 2015 18:33
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Omg omg omg it's time I'm up put me in coach I can do it it's time to see if I've learned anything this season  I haven't e: COME AT ME, BRO
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May 15, 2015 18:36
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I'm so proud that my Dr. Stranglelove has become such an inspiration to young stranglers everywhere. I will rejoice in crushing these posers. 
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May 15, 2015 18:49
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Spermy Smurf posted:Someone post something, I'm ready to run more fights since I wont be able to Saturday or Sunday. Just run more fights dude, this first round is huge. I'm near last in the order, hurry.
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May 15, 2015 18:51
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I would say something, but all of these fights have been dumb inferior fights that don't involve the tournament's clear victor.  Yeah my fights are toward the end too. Get back to work Spermy, chop-chop.Oh and good work or something, I guess.
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May 15, 2015 19:18
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Round 1, Fight 9 Left: Dead Meat is a male Yeti fighter managed by astus. Right: Sargon is a male Human fighter managed by iLonie. Yeti's were pretty useless before, but this one came prepared in bronze armor. Sucks for him that his opponent has assloads of skill with his steel sword.  The gladiators charge, Sargon casually blocks a blow and retaliates! The huge yeti's left arm is torn to poo poo, blood spurts on the arena floor.  Another quick blow to the foot cuts through the Yeti's bronze armor with ease. The Yeti collapses from pain.  And that'll do it. Surgical destruction by Sargon... I'd hate to face him in the next round when he gets more points. Winner: Sargon Combat Log
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May 15, 2015 19:28
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YOU SON OF A BITCH I WILL END YOU
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May 15, 2015 19:36
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Yep, looks like Yetis still don't like getting hurt at all. At least I named him right.
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May 15, 2015 19:46
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| # ? May 30, 2024 11:49 |
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Big men, big nerves.
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May 15, 2015 19:48
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