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Having friends buy a dress they'll never wear again is one of the most hosed up wedding customs that needs to end soon.
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May 16, 2015 15:16
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Scudworth posted:Having friends buy a dress they'll never wear again is one of the most hosed up wedding customs that needs to end soon. I love the look of mismatched bridal parties, but I also love it because it allows more freedom in dress choice and you can buy something you'll hopefully be able to wear again.
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May 16, 2015 15:47
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Eris posted:Check eBay! Or once wed or weddingbee or whatever. You can just google the style, color and size and I almost guarantee you'll find others selling theirs. I already set up eBay alerts! I think the dresses are fairly new so no one is selling just yet. OssiansFolly posted:There are sites that rent the dress...its like $75 and you rent it for the wedding and mail it back. But do any of them carry dresses from David's Bridal? Because I'll be psyched if they do, but I haven't found one yet, and I've made a handful of incredibly obnoxious accounts with sites that won't let you see stuff until you give them your drat email. Nicol Bolas fucked around with this message at 17:33 on May 16, 2015 |
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May 16, 2015 17:27
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ilysespieces posted:I love the look of mismatched bridal parties, but I also love it because it allows more freedom in dress choice and you can buy something you'll hopefully be able to wear again. That's exactly why I have my bridesmaids picking whatever they like as long as it's in the realm of the wedding colours. Also designing your own wedding invitations is frustrating, especially when your partner has no idea what they usually look like or say. Everything I showed him had "too much white space" so as of now we have a 6" square rotated to a diamond with a photograph that I have to somehow put all the text over. I'm sure I can make it work, it's just that both the shape and the photo are making it a lot harder to design than a standard invite.
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May 17, 2015 01:50
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I'm a professional designer and I just bought pre-designed invites. I started to design my own then realized I'd never be satisfied with the final product plus printing would be a pain in the rear end and went "gently caress it" and went on Wedding Paper Divas. I did design our save the dates though. Edit:  SQUARE INVITES REQUIRE ADDITIONAL POSTAGE if you didn't already know that. The USPS has rules about the ratio of height to width on envelopes, if you're outside that ratio you need to pay more.
Problem! fucked around with this message at 03:44 on May 17, 2015 |
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May 17, 2015 03:41
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So my partner and I have been engaged since November and are now starting to do our paperwork/planning for our civil union. Since we're a binational pair (I'm American, he's German, we live in Germany), the paperwork apparently takes quite a bit of time, so we'd like to use that buffer to actually get the event planning out of the way. Neither of us wants a big ceremony. Honestly we've thought about just eloping, since that matches our personalities better, but for some reason I can't shake the feeling that it makes the whole wedding less "special". So we're going to have a tiny little non-religious ceremony with just close family of his (parents/brother/sister/her husband/their kid) and, hopefully, at least one member of mine (my mom, depending on $ for flights from the US). We just moved to a new city not long ago and don't have many local friends to invite, so maybe count another 5 people, maximum 10 if we stretch it. Our problem is that since we want to do something so small, we also don't want it to be boring. Any scenario we could come up with that is that small (courthouse ceremony, then maybe a dinner or something?) just seems so run-of-the-mill to me, and we're also running the risk of boring the guests, most of whom would be travelling here for it. So we're toying with the idea of maybe a sort of "destination" wedding elsewhere in Europe for a couple days (Amsterdam? Copenhagen? Vienna?), that way it's something new for everyone and there's always something we can do for a day or two as a group. I guess what I'm looking for here is ideas for a microwedding of maximum 20 guests that is decidedly not boring and not just "let's all go out for a nice dinner as if it were any other night". Most of his family will be flying in from Australia for it, and any attending members of my family would be flying from Ohio. We can't have them come all this way to get very little out of it.
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May 18, 2015 09:50
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KasioDiscoRock posted:That's exactly why I have my bridesmaids picking whatever they like as long as it's in the realm of the wedding colours. I did this as well, told them to pick something they would be able to wear again after the wedding and they all got together and color coordinated their dresses on modcloth  ...then I couldn't think of what to get as bridesmaids gifts so I just paid for their dresses anyway and got them some earrings they'd picked out.
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May 18, 2015 20:47
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Do you generally pay the rental/deposit for a venue right when you book it? Or can you reserve it and then pay a couple weeks/months later? What about other vendors? Thanks y'all.
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May 19, 2015 17:16
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Always paid deposit for everything to book/guarantee the date. We have been successful in negotiating for payment the day of the wedding just so that we are sure that they show up and deliver at product.
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May 19, 2015 17:45
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Anoulie posted:Do you generally pay the rental/deposit for a venue right when you book it? Or can you reserve it and then pay a couple weeks/months later? What about other vendors? Thanks y'all. Depends on the venue. A couple venues local to me hold the date for an event for 2 weeks from the date you view it, so you have time to look at other venues before committing. Not saying they are all like this, but it is best to ask the venue what their procedure is.
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May 19, 2015 18:09
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Hi Goons/Goonettes: I just got married on Sunday, May 17. I was the bride. I live in Charleston, South Carolina had the wedding and reception at the South Carolina Aquarium. There are lots of questions here about what to do/ how to plan/ so I'll just share my experience as well as some of the expenses. I got engaged in April 2014. We started planning the wedding in January. The first thing we did was contact a professional planner. We decided to hire a planner because neither I or the groom wanted to go through the planning headaches or deal with sudden changes that can arise during the process and even during the event. To us, the cost of meeting with the planner and letting them do all the work was worth it. The guest list was 55, and some small children and a few babies. We had some people that RSVP'd and didn't show up, and some people that showed up without RSVP. This fortunately worked out and we didn't have to change our headcount once it was determined. Cost of some stuff, rounded up to easy-to-understand numbers.. Wedding dress $500 (from David's Bridal) Veil $30 (on Etsy) Catered food - $5,000 - this included a roast beef station, seafood, make-your-own pasta, salad, a cheese & crackers table. It was all buffet style, with chefs attending to help guests and their children. Planning and decor package - $7000 - included 2 meetings with the planners, all the decor (flowers, lighting, candles, linens, bouquet, boutoniers etc), and day-of coordination. Champagne - $200 for 2 cases, and we got 1 bottle left over. We bought our own champagne and only served this as alcohol for the night. Since the event was on a Sunday evening I wanted to avoid getting people drunk and possibly driving home. Also, the groom and I are not big drinkers. Cake - $400 (from Publix Bakery) Wedding rings - $600 (from Kay Jewelers) - plain yellow gold bands. Nothing too special, something easily replaceable. Photographer - I am fortunate and have a friend who is an amateur photographer, and I saw her photos at other (non wedding) events and liked it. She agreed to take photos for free. Music - I am a musician, so I invited my music friends and we had a fun jam session during the reception. For the pre-seating, ceremony and recessional I hired a trio to play classical music for $400. Professional hair and makeup - $300 Marriage license - $70 (Charleston County) Officiate - $400 - we didn't write our own vows, we just let the officiate read whatever he wanted and keep it short and simple. First waltz choreography and practice lessons - $700 Registry - we registered at Target and Pottery Barn. We did receive a few (maybe 3 or 4) gifts that were not from the registry, but they were all very well thought-out gifts and I am happy about every single item we received. There's no price tag for the generosity and warm wishes of people who love you. The groom and I paid for everything ourselves. Our parents/ families were not involved in any of the planning or payments. --- The event itself went very smoothly. Hiring the planners was the best decision we ever made. The only bump was that one of the glass panels at the aquarium had a leak, and repair work was on going the day of. I didn't worry too much about it, because I was assured by the planner and the events coordinator at the venue that the repair work will not negatively impact the wedding, and I trusted their word. They were 100% right. Most guests didn't even see the repair work being done, they were too busy looking at the other huge panels and fish on display. I was told there was a vacuum going, but I actually never heard it during the whole night. The first waltz went perfectly. Food was fantastic .. I am told. I barely got to eat anything, even though we allocated 1 hour to dinner in the time line. I was constantly being pulled aside for photos, greeting and thanking guests, etc. I am glad, however, that the guests all had plenty of time to eat and drink and socialize among each other during dinner. I brought in my own set of Bose speakers and my smartphone with Pandora playing a classical/ Baroque station, so soft music was playing discreetly in the background as people ate. This coupled with the teal, dark blue and dusty pink table cloths, the gerbera daisy and rose centerpieces, and tea lights all made the atmosphere at dinner very romantic, warm and relaxing. One thing that I messed up and was 100% my fault was the bouquet toss. I tossed it too high and too hard, the bouquet smashed into a part of the ceiling 10 ft behind me. Everyone laughed but I felt so bad... I re-tossed it (again, threw it too hard) but at least it landed on someone's hands.. or head.  If you're not used to tossing something backwards, I suggest you practice with a light ball or a small pillow or a plushie. The night went very, very fast. It was over before I knew it. There are a few small details that I wish went a little differently, but I'm consciously downplaying those and celebrating the wedding's success. Besides, I don't intend to do this again! The planning process was fun, at least from my perspective. The planners were diligently handling all off the nitty gritty stuff, any changes, layout plans, figuring out how many of what was needed, etc. The groom and I just got to do the awesome bits, like the food tasting, cake tasting, picking out colors for linens, talking about music, getting the wedding favors, etc. The day-of coordinator was on point and made the whole event go without a hitch, and did a solid job guiding groups and individuals to where they needed to go at certain times. A few pieces of advice: Spend however much money you want/ are able to, only get what YOU want. Don't get pushed around by vendors trying to sell you additional stuff or services. During the event, breathe, be in the moment, and only spend the time as you wish to spend it. I cut my posed photo session short because 1. it felt forced/contrived, and 2. I wanted to spend time with my wedding guests instead. Don't let small problems get to you. If anything changes due to circumstances that are outside your control, roll with it, smile, and let the day go on. There's a lot of materialism in the wedding industry, but don't let that lead you astray from the real meaning of your wedding: love, family, human relationships. Be true to your vision for your special day, and always choose to celebrate, give thanks, and be positive.
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May 19, 2015 18:20
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Anoulie posted:Do you generally pay the rental/deposit for a venue right when you book it? Or can you reserve it and then pay a couple weeks/months later? What about other vendors? Thanks y'all. Depends on the venue and your wedding date. High demand venues during wedding season get snapped up fast so I would plan on putting down a deposit ASAP if that applies to your situation. Off-season weddings/weddings on days other than Saturday would give you more breathing room. The only date change out of our four changes that was voluntarily made by us was when we accidentally picked the summer solstice for our date and EVERYONE was booked solid a year+ in advance. We pushed it back a week and everything was more available.
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May 19, 2015 18:29
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Thanks, everyone. This dude and me want to get married on April 2 (so not actually "wedding season" yet, right?), and we could move it to April 1 or 3, but that's as flexible as it gets. And we won't be able to pay any vendors before September, so. I worry a lot. Congratulations, Arcanist An aquarium sounds like an extremely rad venue.
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May 19, 2015 18:43
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I would probably avoid April 1 or you're going to have to go out of your way to assure everyone it's legit when you send out invites!
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May 19, 2015 19:05
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Okay so I don't know the best way to go about this, so I'll ask goons. Our wedding is on June 13. Some people have reported not getting invitations when I asked them if they were coming because we hadn't gotten RSVPs. Should I still send invitations to them? At what point should I say gently caress it and just get verbals from them? I still have some invites to send out because I didn't have addresses for certain people on my end as well. Should I send the invites and get verbals from them? I don't want to break etiquette and hurt peoples' feelings or make them feel like an afterthought, but I've also got to go through talking to people to whom I know we sent invites and just haven't RSVPd. At what point is it too late to send an invite? Are people going to throw bitchfests if we just ask them if they are coming and don't bother sending an invite because it's pretty close to the wedding?
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May 19, 2015 19:43
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life is killing me posted:Okay so I don't know the best way to go about this, so I'll ask goons. I just got done telling my fiancé last night that I assume USPS will lose 5% of our invites because the USPS is the biggest pile of garbage when it comes to professionalism. If you are this close to your wedding date you should be confirming the number of guests with the caterer, venue and yourselves. I would personally just get verbals and explain nicely to people you didn't forget them, and the USPS is the lowest of lowly scum when it comes to completing remedial tasks without error.
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May 19, 2015 21:31
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Anoulie posted:Do you generally pay the rental/deposit for a venue right when you book it? Or can you reserve it and then pay a couple weeks/months later? What about other vendors? Thanks y'all. In our experience, people say they'll pencil you in without a deposit, and will call you if someone else wants the date. But... if it was a bigger wedding that wanted the space, I wouldn't bet that call would get through to you.
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May 19, 2015 21:58
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OssiansFolly posted:I just got done telling my fiancé last night that I assume USPS will lose 5% of our invites because the USPS is the biggest pile of garbage when it comes to professionalism. If you are this close to your wedding date you should be confirming the number of guests with the caterer, venue and yourselves. I would personally just get verbals and explain nicely to people you didn't forget them, and the USPS is the lowest of lowly scum when it comes to completing remedial tasks without error. I've done that with a few people, at least, but some just aren't responding to my various methods of communication (facebook, text, email, and then call and leave a voicemail). I call last because frankly I just don't have time to catch up with my family members over the phone and would rather text. Some of the family member calling I've left to my dad, and some of them we're just assuming aren't coming because they legit haven't ever left the county in Tennessee where they live, except for one cousin who left to go fight in Vietnam. For those that did get their invitations, it's flat-out rude, in my opinion, to not RSVP, even though there's a little leeway considering they don't get invited to stuff that much and don't really know the etiquette. But at least goddamn respond to my other forms of communication, otherwise don't show up to the wedding expecting a seat at the reception and a plate of food.
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May 19, 2015 22:49
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life is killing me posted:For those that did get their invitations, it's flat-out rude, in my opinion, to not RSVP, even though there's a little leeway considering they don't get invited to stuff that much and don't really know the etiquette. But at least goddamn respond to my other forms of communication, otherwise don't show up to the wedding expecting a seat at the reception and a plate of food. We had to call about half our guest list and getting them to RSVP was like pulling teeth. Most people had to travel so it wasn't like they could make a day-of decision about whether or not they were coming so they HAD to know in advance if they were coming or not. RSVPs will get you to hate most of your family and friends. However I will say that 98% of people who don't RSVP aren't coming but they feel bad about declining the invite so they just don't do anything. The other 2% legitimately did not get or lost the invite (and if they lost it and are planning on coming they'll probably contact you first). I posted this in this thread before, but our invites were tall and narrow so they came in a business sized envelope. Several family members threw them away assuming they were junk mail 
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May 20, 2015 00:52
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life is killing me posted:I've done that with a few people, at least, but some just aren't responding to my various methods of communication (facebook, text, email, and then call and leave a voicemail). I call last because frankly I just don't have time to catch up with my family members over the phone and would rather text. Some of the family member calling I've left to my dad, and some of them we're just assuming aren't coming because they legit haven't ever left the county in Tennessee where they live, except for one cousin who left to go fight in Vietnam. It is at that point you need to be firm with your message. Don't be a complete rear end about it, but make it clear that if a response was needed May 15th and today is the 20th then they are outside the window of reserving a seat at your wedding/reception. Being a nice person you are extending that deadline by 1 week to May 22nd. Any replies not received by that time will be marked down as not attending and the seat will not be available. I know people like to be nice about things (we see it in this thread all the time), but you really do have to put your foot down and be firm with people...treat them like children.
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May 20, 2015 14:03
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Quick diamond question...is it better to choose a stone (in this case, Blue Bile) that is smaller but much higher quality, or larger but not as great? I'm basically choosing between 2 alternatives: Diamond 1: .5c, D color, VVS2 clarity, Ideal cut Diamond 2: .75c, H color, VS2 clarity, ideal cut Is it worth going with the lower quality for the gain in carat size? Or will the brilliance of the color and clarity make up for it?
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May 20, 2015 17:33
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Omne posted:Quick diamond question...is it better to choose a stone (in this case, Blue Bile) that is smaller but much higher quality, or larger but not as great? I'm basically choosing between 2 alternatives: Where you're really going to struggle with cost is as the diamonds go up in size, so just go with what your budget allows. I chose a 1.45c with like SI2 as opposed to another I considered that was 1.53c (which despite the small difference in size, was like $800 more than the smaller one just based on size alone) and VS1. Work with the jeweler and see what is the best size and clarity and color you can get for your budget and they will find you something or order you one if they are really good. Also you might ask about clarity-enhanced diamonds that are typically cheaper because their clarity isn't the best, but they've been worked over with a laser to remove some imperfections. YMMV as for whatever reason your jeweler might want more for those. Basically, just try to strike the best balance between color/clarity and size. I was super nervous my fiancee would think the diamond was too small, but she loves it, and when I proposed she said it was perfect and keeps making comments even now about how she keeps getting distracted by the giant rock on her finger. So just do the best you can, unless she's super-rich and a diva, she will love it because it came from you and because you put thought into it.
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May 20, 2015 17:46
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Omne posted:Quick diamond question...is it better to choose a stone (in this case, Blue Bile) that is smaller but much higher quality, or larger but not as great? I'm basically choosing between 2 alternatives: This is totally dependent on your girl. If she has petite hands then a smaller diamond might be fine, if her hands are a little bigger then maybe you want to sacrifice some color and clarity for size. Also it depends on how it is going to be set (thinner setting may make the diamond appear bigger for example), and also your girl's personal preference. ^Also 1.45c is a pretty big rock dude, surprised you were nervous about the size at all.
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May 20, 2015 18:31
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Mind_Taker posted:This is totally dependent on your girl. If she has petite hands then a smaller diamond might be fine, if her hands are a little bigger then maybe you want to sacrifice some color and clarity for size. Also it depends on how it is going to be set (thinner setting may make the diamond appear bigger for example), and also your girl's personal preference. I was nervous because her parents kept going, "THE BIGGER THE BETTER, QUALITY IS LESS IMPORTANT!" They were definitely pushing for a 2c+ rock and as I started looking I knew I was way out of my league, cost-wise. I learned as I went along that her parents are opinionated and proffer their opinions often, so I ignored them and got the best one I could afford. I saved up for a long drat time for that thing, and she admitted after I proposed that she'd hoped I'd do it on Valentine's day. I didn't have the ring then because I couldn't afford it yet, and didn't want to ask her to marry me on the most cliched corporate-sponsored holiday ever, so I had to just hope she'd be patient. All night on Valentine's (maybe this was just my mind playing with me) she kept massaging her ring finger, looking at her left hand like she'd look at her fingernails, playing with her left hand, etc, so I could already tell she was wanting me to ask then. No big deal, just was looking for the best ring I could get and not end up in a homeless shelter
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May 20, 2015 19:12
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Does anyone have experience with a weekday wedding? What about a Sunday wedding? I know Saturday is traditional because it means people can fly in either Friday night or Saturday morning and then fly out Sunday. I'm trying not to rule anything out without considering it first, though.
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May 21, 2015 17:59
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Does anyone have experience with a weekday wedding? What about a Sunday wedding? I know Saturday is traditional because it means people can fly in either Friday night or Saturday morning and then fly out Sunday. I'm trying not to rule anything out without considering it first, though. I had a lot of friends get married on Fridays because it saves a good chunk of money. Sunday weddings are usually smaller brunch weddings with little to no "party" feeling.
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May 21, 2015 18:32
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I've been to a more traditional Sunday evening reception and it was kind of a drag. It was held in the couple's childhood hometown, 5 hours away from where they and their friends went to school and worked. Having to take the following Monday off for travel prevented a lot of people from being able to come. So the reception was almost entirely retirees and a few highschool townie friends. It also happened to be on father's day, which was an interesting choice but I'm sure that made it even cheaper. tldr- It will definitely limit the number of out of town guests.
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May 21, 2015 19:41
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A friend of mine got married the Sunday of Labor Day weekend, they got the cheaper non-Saturday rate and their out of town guests could still come since everyone had that day off work already. A weekday or Sunday wedding means your friends and family with jobs won't come or will dip out super early.
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May 21, 2015 22:58
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:A friend of mine got married the Sunday of Labor Day weekend, they got the cheaper non-Saturday rate and their out of town guests could still come since everyone had that day off work already. Funny, I was just about to post this. We did this exact thing. Our date is set the Sunday before Labor Day in 2016. It cut $1500 off the venue cost.
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May 21, 2015 23:23
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A Proper Uppercut posted:Funny, I was just about to post this. We did this exact thing. Our date is set the Sunday before Labor Day in 2016. It cut $1500 off the venue cost. We did that as well, but for 2015. Our venue technically isn't supposed to give the Sunday discount when it's a long weekend, but either we booked so far in advance that they didn't realize it was the holiday weekend or they just didn't care cuz we signed the contract for the discounted price.
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May 22, 2015 00:01
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If you're looking to save money by moving your date an off peak date (October-March) will usually be cheaper and vendors are more available and more willing to make a deal as well. Plus your guests won't see your wedding as "ugh this is the 5th wedding we have to go to this summer" and are more likely to come and enjoy themselves. I had 7 weddings to attend last summer and was pretty Over It by wedding 3 or 4.
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May 22, 2015 03:37
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Of course having your wedding on a holiday weekend increases the risk of conflicts too. Lots of people have standing plans for Labor Day or Memorial Day.
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May 22, 2015 12:51
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:If you're looking to save money by moving your date an off peak date (October-March) will usually be cheaper and vendors are more available and more willing to make a deal as well. Eh October isn't as off peak as you may think. It is more November to March. October is still one of the busiest months for weddings, so I wouldn't expect any breaks in price for that month. Also, the ONLY way I am "over weddings" is if people have crappy food or no booze. You can't make me come have fun when I have to pay for my own fun.
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May 22, 2015 13:55
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Yeah, here's a fee schedule we got when we were looking:quote:Warehouse Rental for up to 150 people (5 hour function) (It was nice, but not "$4200 and have to use their caterer nice.")
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May 22, 2015 21:25
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smackfu posted:Of course having your wedding on a holiday weekend increases the risk of conflicts too. Lots of people have standing plans for Labor Day or Memorial Day. Yea, I asked around a lot before we booked, pretty much everyone I talked to said they don't go away and don't know anyone who does on Labor Day. Usually it's a cookout on Saturday or something.
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May 22, 2015 23:48
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I'm getting irrationally annoyed at Pinterest's requirement that I log in to view a person's pages. Let me research my girlfriend's ring preferences in peace.
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May 24, 2015 03:24
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Democratic Pirate posted:I'm getting irrationally annoyed at Pinterest's requirement that I log in to view a person's pages. Let me research my girlfriend's ring preferences in peace. Just log into her account/sneak onto her computer.
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May 24, 2015 04:14
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couldcareless posted:Just log into her account/sneak onto her computer. Or make an account and not do that? She may have private boards. Or not want someone else on her account.
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May 24, 2015 05:10
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Democratic Pirate posted:I'm getting irrationally annoyed at Pinterest's requirement that I log in to view a person's pages. Let me research my girlfriend's ring preferences in peace. Or you could just ask her what she likes and you could look around online together? If she's making engagement ring Pinterest boards it's not like it's a surprise you're getting her a ring (unless she's one of those people who's had a wedding Pinterest board since before you guys even met).
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May 24, 2015 13:08
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Or you could just ask her what she likes and you could look around online together? If she's making engagement ring Pinterest boards it's not like it's a surprise you're getting her a ring (unless she's one of those people who's had a wedding Pinterest board since before you guys even met). I can't definitely tell you the timeline of her Pinterest board, but we have discussed the topic a few times. I'd say I know 85-90% of what she's looking for, and the last bit will be a surprise.
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May 24, 2015 18:50
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