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Pretty much no apartment in CA is going to let you have as many pets as you have. So be prepared to get rid of them. Also be prepared to pay as much as $1000 per pet as a deposit and sometimes pay an extra "pet rent" every month. Otherwise I don't really have anything constructive to add. Others have made a lot of good points. Speaking from experience CA is very expensive. If you didn't have a new born or attachment to family I think this would be a great opportunity. Given your current situation I think you should pass even if it's $120k+ a year guaranteed.
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May 25, 2015 23:13
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Knyteguy posted:And again most of what I would be doing at this San Diego job would be Universal App Development (Windows 8.1/10 desktop apps and mobile apps), and mobile development (Android, IOS). I would definitely be picking up some good skills, a lot of which I'd be able to learn on the company's dime. I have much less reservation about the career path you're following knowing this. I still think you should target cities with more established tech scenes however. You're going to have to leave San Diego to progress. Why move twice? quote:Hey and also to clarify, at this San Diego job, while things were rolling out (likely years), most of the bonuses would not be billable, but incentive based. He mentioned specifically "creating a hello world Universal App talking to DAX" which he said could pay $5,000. I've already done that! Then he said working out details of X would be another $5,000 and I was thinking like "poo poo I could tell you right now how to do this". This sounds really sketchy. Maybe consultant stuff works differently than what I do (backend, mostly distributed systems and tearing monolithic things apart into microservices) but my bonuses are straight stock options/grants. I'd be really weirded out by these kind of incentives.
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May 25, 2015 23:26
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the talent deficit posted:I have much less reservation about the career path you're following knowing this. I still think you should target cities with more established tech scenes however. You're going to have to leave San Diego to progress. Why move twice? Yea the "classic consulting" stuff is more of the $75/hr billable. But he said if I want that type of work it would become available as I built apps. It seems... to me it doesn't seem sketchy. It seems like it may be an improper motivator, but discretionary incentives would be at least somewhat optional. Someone said be weary of the word optional, so I'd have to clarify that. But a lot of places do do incentive based pay. Banks do it for getting higher lending rates (or did I'm not sure if they made this illegal), sales guys get commission, internal recruiters get bonuses for getting people to take lower salaries, reducing shrink, etc. But then you're the second person to say that's potentially shady so it very well could be. Moving doesn't really bother me all that much. Right now may be the last time we can have an adventure exploring living in new places until my son is 18. Baja Mofufu posted:You should seriously consider Zanthia's last post because a lot of it is spot on, especially about the "pet-friendly apartments" = 2 pets. That's the case for every apartment I've ever seen in SoCal except smaller complexes/houses where you can deal with the landlord directly. I just did a little research, and there's single family homes sub $2,000/mo. No fridge though? That's crazy. Could always do a local used appliance shop though.
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May 26, 2015 04:49
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OK my wife and I are going to go over Zanthia's post together. However assuming that we end up still liking the idea of San Diego (I want to explore the scenario), what if the offer was like this: - 40-50 hours per week to make $105,000, plus maybe some studying at home - My wife stays home, working towards becoming a paralegal (or just office stuff as mentioned) - Good benefits - $5,000 relocation bonus The average salary for software developers in San Diego is $72,000 http://www.glassdoor.com/Salaries/san-diego-software-developer-salary-SRCH_IL.0,9_IM758_KO10,28.htm. However many of you have mentioned that it's not a tech hub, so it would be expected to be less pay than San Francisco. But, the average salary for a software developer in San Francisco is $94,482 http://www.glassdoor.com/Salaries/san-francisco-software-developer-salary-SRCH_IL.0,13_IM759_KO14,32.htm The cost of living is definitely higher in SF over San Diego. The average salary for a software engineer (subtle distinction, but this is generally considered a developer with computer science fundamentals, which is what the Cracking the Coding Interview book develops) is $103,367 in San Francisco. In San Diego software engineer is $90,635. Pay seems pretty decent. It may be relatively lateral, but we'd get to live by the ocean which is something we'd both like. When I was thinking of like 50 hour weeks (or more) I was thinking more in the $120,000 - $150,000 range. That could be unrealistic, but I wouldn't want to work that much for such a lateral pay move. A career path I'm thinking of is making this move to check out San Diego for year, while I study some CS fundamentals as Rurutia was saying, and then I could try to move to one of the big 4 software companies. Maybe Amazon -> Google would be what I'd shoot for. That'd still require some moves, but if I could do that within 5 years then we could build roots in Silicon Valley just as my son enters school. Anyway something to chew on. Does anyone at all think this could have potential? As I stated my wife and I will go over Zanthia's post together. Oh and the reason it is incentive based over the $75/hr I don't think is because it's shady. It's because this is an entirely new branch of operations for the company so they don't expect to have anything ready to sell for awhile for consulting work until they can show some actual examples (where I'd come in). This place doesn't seem shady they're an international company with offices around the world. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 05:09 on May 26, 2015 |
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May 26, 2015 05:06
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Sorry, it's super bothering me - it's "wary," not "weary." http://grammarist.com/usage/wary-weary/ I really feel like the newness of this opportunity is making you have trouble seeing the downsides. I recently applied for a job that at first blush is way better than my current job, but my husband and I had a discussion about it today, and at the end of it I realized that though I would interview for it in a second, there's actually no situation where I would be willing to take this new job over my current job. The pros are all "not my current job, so more fun and exciting," and the cons are all things that will have long-term effects - moving, insignificant increase in salary that would probably be eaten up by moving and my husband finding a new job, etc. But when I first applied for the position it seemed like it would be way better than what I was currently doing. I don't think anyone will disagree that for 1-3 months, maybe more, this new job you're thinking about will be super exciting and fulfilling and moving will be fresh and fun. Try to imagine what it will be like beyond that though. That's when all the flaws will show up. I mean that's what happened with that original apartment far away from your family, right? I think you should update your pros/cons list based on the feedback you've gotten. If your family is in fuckin' Ventura, for example, and you consider the insane amount of traffic in Orange County and LA County, you're only shaving about 2 hours off your current drive to visit CA family from Reno. It's not next door like you're thinking. That's driving through some of the literal worst traffic in California, even on a weekend. edit: If we're just theorycrafting this move, I would at least go for $10,000 relocation. Especially with the amount of pets you have. You're either going to have to rehome almost all of them, or pay way more than usual to find a place that will accept them. That plus paying for a moving truck will easily eat up $10k. Hawkperson fucked around with this message at 05:18 on May 26, 2015 |
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May 26, 2015 05:14
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So is it 50 hours for $105k, or 50 hours for $120k? You mentioned both in your post, and there's a pretty wide gulf between the two. And are these billable hours or total hours? If you can get a job in San Diego you can get a job in Silicon Valley. From there you would have easier access to the big 4 and more networking opportunities in general. Why not just apply there and save yourself the move?
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May 26, 2015 05:33
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~Example Budget~ $105,000/yr 0 deductions plus $461 monthly additonal federal w/h per an IRS withholding calculator. This is probably conservative? We would need $7786 assuming 1.5x CoL to achieve income parity with what we have now. However this has the huge benefit of cutting childcare costs ($350/mo RNO $525 SD). We can cut that off the top of $7786 since that money would literally not be there regardless, so we would need $7261 to achieve parity with the cost savings of childcare. That's a difference of $1599 per month, as we made $5192 this month take home. Yeesh that's a lot That's nearly rent in SD dollars. However it has the huge boon of my wife staying at home. But let's see what's left to work with. SD Budget (~1.5X Reno budget except for rent which is 2x) Fixed Expenses Rent: $2,200 Baby: $375 Pets: $200 (account for higher vet bills I guess; we buy everything on Amazon) Utilities: $450 Fuel: $150 (Reno has expensive gas too, and I still gave an extra $20) Car Insurance: $120 Internet: $60 Renter's Insurance: $26 Phone: $67.50 Netflix: $7.99 Medical: $30 --- $3656.45 Flexible Spending Groceries: $600 Clothing Grooming: $120 Home Goods: $45 Her Discretionary: $200 His Discretionary: $200 Restaurants: $150 Misc: $150 --- $1465 Debt Car: $510 Student Loans: $86 Grandma S: $99.52 --- $695 Savings Funds Car Repair: $30 Car Registration: $45 --- $75 Total: $5,891 Diff: -$200 But I'd say there's some room for cutting there. If my wife works then we could bank every dollar she made, less child care. According to this SD child care is roughly $200/mo. http://www.crs.ymca.org/child-care/cost-of-child-care.html If she made $26,000/yr that would mean we bank about $1,000 a month. http://www.glassdoor.com/Salaries/san-diego-administrative-assistant-salary-SRCH_IL.0,9_IM758_KO10,34.htm (going low since she doesn't have experience). But that's still tight. gently caress.  I probably could only move laterally in SF right now, too. This is depressing.in_cahoots total not billable. As far as SD: http://www.laweekly.com/news/southern-california-is-1-of-the-10-best-weather-places-in-the-world-4527868
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May 26, 2015 05:41
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KG - I think I've made a lot of pretty helpful, albeit repetitive posts in this thread. If you take a job that commits you to 40-50hr of work hours away from any family for a job that barely increases your total family income I'm going to have to come out right now and call you an idiot. There is just no way a person who is smart would do what you're considering doing. Edit: You're comparing childcare by basically a personal nanny - aka your sister(KGWife's) to the absolute cheapest childcare you could find. I'm going to guess your kid gets a LOT better care now than it would in a YMCA childcare situation (which can probably still be great). n8r fucked around with this message at 05:51 on May 26, 2015 |
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May 26, 2015 05:45
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n8r posted:KG - I think I've made a lot of pretty helpful, albeit repetitive posts in this thread. If you take a job that commits you to 40-50hr of work hours away from any family for a job that barely increases your total family income I'm going to have to come out right now and call you an idiot. There is just no way a person who is smart would do what you're considering doing. You have made a lot of helpful posts. Financials aren't my only motivator for liking this idea. I've lived in this city for 28 years, and my wife and I have been talking about moving out of this town (mostly to Seattle or the Bay Area) since we've been dating. I thought this might be a cool time to try that, even if it would've been a little spontaneous. I'm probably not going to do it based off the budget data, though.
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May 26, 2015 05:47
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OK if you really want to move, get rid of all the animals except for 1 dog or cat because you will have huge difficulty finding places with multiple pets. Do that first to show you're really wanting to relocate.
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May 26, 2015 05:52
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I think it's also worth noting that it's 40 hours/week of Knyteguy working AND 40 (more? less?) hours week of Knytewife working a job she really doesn't like that also prevents her and Knyteguy from spending much time together and she has to work weekends and all sorts of poo poo. Not that the rest of your points don't stand, of course. But I really think more consideration needs to be given to the fact that even though Knyteguy's worked hours would go up, his wife's would literally go to zero and she would have much more time to care for the child compared to what she has now, which makes their "total" hours worked for the same amount of money go from 80 to 50.
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May 26, 2015 08:12
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Horking Delight posted:I think it's also worth noting that it's 40 hours/week of Knyteguy working AND 40 (more? less?) hours week of Knytewife working a job she really doesn't like that also prevents her and Knyteguy from spending much time together and she has to work weekends and all sorts of poo poo. Knyteguy absolutely needs to get a new job and almost certainly needs to get out of Reno to a real city but San Diego is not the right place. Knyteguy: if you and your wife are ok with Seattle why are you not directing your recruiters to get you interviews there? Cost of living is high but not SF/Valley high and both salaries and opportunity are really great.
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May 26, 2015 08:15
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the talent deficit posted:Knyteguy absolutely needs to get a new job and almost certainly needs to get out of Reno to a real city but San Diego is not the right place. Seattle salaries aren't that much lower than Bay Area salaries, are they? But the cost of living is definitely lower (depends on how you feel about the weather but I guess it's still miles better than Reno, at least), though I'm not sure for how much longer -- I keep hearing rents have been rising now that so many people are priced out of the Bay Area. But at least this way he gets to dodge the CA income tax.
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May 26, 2015 08:35
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Horking Delight posted:Seattle salaries aren't that much lower than Bay Area salaries, are they? But the cost of living is definitely lower (depends on how you feel about the weather but I guess it's still miles better than Reno, at least), though I'm not sure for how much longer -- I keep hearing rents have been rising now that so many people are priced out of the Bay Area. But at least this way he gets to dodge the CA income tax. It's pretty standard for the big tech companies to offer the same salary in Seattle as in California. Washington state of course has no income tax, and a slightly lower cost of living, at least compared the Silicon Valley / the bay area.
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May 26, 2015 09:16
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Knyteguy posted:Fuel: $150 (Reno has expensive gas too, and I still gave an extra $20) So you're not accounting for the regular extra trips back to family? You have a history of wanting to be around for every big family occasion/gathering, and with your wife's social life getting shot in the move she is probably going to be wanting to get out and visit them too. On top of that, as someone who now has a 3 week old son myself, that little guy is going to make you want to be at those family occasions even more. All in all, I think you should account for the extra fuel and car costs associated with making at least 1 trip every 2 months back to family.
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May 26, 2015 10:03
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Lots of mentions of how you could cut different areas to make the move work. Why not cut those now? It feels like the possibility of being somewhere else was opened up to you, and now you have all these justifications of why it would be great (always wanted to live near an ocean, etc). I think it might be grass is greener syndrome. San Diego is beautiful and the weather is amazing. But traffic, housing costs, trying to find a parking spot at a grocery store, trying to find parking period sometimes are just some of the many things that will definitely be worse Than your current situation. My advice is thing more negatively about it, what could happen in the worse case and then actually imagine it would happen. From what I've read about this job (all kinds of alarm bells and seems sketchy to me, very sketchy -- something isn't right), and uprooting your family (stress, life changes for a lateral move, breaking yet another lease), mark me down in the "very bad idea" category.
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May 26, 2015 12:57
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MrEnigma posted:Lots of mentions of how you could cut different areas to make the move work. Why not cut those now? This is good advice. Usually before I do anything big, I read as much negative things about it as possible. In the end, it's about what poo poo sandwich you're willing to eat.
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May 26, 2015 13:09
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Non-career discussion for a min: My wife will now be taking over groceries and meal planning completely. She doesn't like how I do it. We'll see if she's better at it than me (psh ya right we all know who the budgeter is here right guys). I'm gonna hold off on discussing about this San Diego position until I have an offer in hand. I'm going to let the recruiter know the concerns everyone has brought up (mostly financial and the work-life balance) and see what he has to say.
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May 26, 2015 16:26
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You realize asking your recruiter is like asking a real estate agent whether you should move. I doubt he has any real clue, and he's looking to get the deal done ASAP so he can get the commission. Do research on this company on your own, if you can't find anyone with good things to say take it as a warning.
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May 26, 2015 16:37
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n8r posted:You realize asking your recruiter is like asking a real estate agent whether you should move. I doubt he has any real clue, and he's looking to get the deal done ASAP so he can get the commission. Do research on this company on your own, if you can't find anyone with good things to say take it as a warning. I can't find anyone with anything to say. Aside from that, suppose we start looking at moving to Silicon Valley in the near future, since it's kind of the most ideal spot in terms of radius to family. Seattle would work since my wife's very good friend lives there too. But for either of those, what kind of money should I be looking for? A long commute would ideally be avoided (lol in CA right).
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May 26, 2015 16:51
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Don't loving move to silicon valley. Just don't.
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May 26, 2015 18:28
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Knyteguy posted:I can't find anyone with anything to say. I wouldn't move to SF/Valley for less than $160k and I don't have children or need a house. I don't think I'd move there at all under that constraint. Seattle I could probably survive pretty comfortably on anything approaching six figures. You can get a pretty okay house in metro Seattle for under $500k.
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May 26, 2015 19:09
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The median home price in SF just crossed 1 million. Redfin had an interesting article on people in the Bay Area searching for housing elsewhere. This is an article that uses the same data: http://www.geekwire.com/2015/a-sili...e-and-portland/ Basically it seems to make it in SF you need to either have been there a bit and gotten stock options/bonuses/experience, or you have a spouse that is also making over 6 figures. Even then you're still getting a much smaller house and paying 4x your income (and you'd have to be pulling in 250k). MrEnigma fucked around with this message at 19:25 on May 26, 2015 |
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May 26, 2015 19:21
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Knyteguy posted:I just did a little research, and there's single family homes sub $2,000/mo. No fridge though? That's crazy. Could always do a local used appliance shop though. Show me these homes. There's just no loving way there's single family homes (ie 3 bedroom 2 bath 1200 sqft) for $2,000 a month in loving San Diego. If you're talking about 30+ mile radius to San Diego then maybe. I pay $1495 a month for a 3 bedroom 2 bath townhouse in bumfuck nowhere CA. Also keep in mind that something that is 20 miles away from downtown San Diego is probably easily a 30+ minute commute each way. If you want to live IN San Diego expect to pay $2000-$2500+ for a 2 bedroom apartment. If you want a house expect the $2,500+ and 99% of them won't allow any pets. Also the irony that you literally justified your last move because "You had to be by family, you guys wouldn't get it" and now you're considering moving 600 miles away from that same family. I mean if it's what you want to do, go for it, but you're being super conservative on rent dollars. Alternatively expect 30-60 minute commutes each way every day(this probably means buying a second car!). EDIT: Here I picked you out a Slo Mo apartment. If you're going to go Slow Mo, go full Slow Mo don't half rear end it. https://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/apa/5036092549.html Bugamol fucked around with this message at 20:40 on May 26, 2015 |
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May 26, 2015 20:35
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Bugamol posted:EDIT: Here I picked you out a Slo Mo apartment. If you're going to go Slow Mo, go full Slow Mo don't half rear end it. https://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/apa/5036092549.html No scorpion mural, no want.
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May 26, 2015 21:06
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Bugamol posted:Show me these homes. There's just no loving way there's single family homes (ie 3 bedroom 2 bath 1200 sqft) for $2,000 a month in loving San Diego. If you're talking about 30+ mile radius to San Diego then maybe. I pay $1495 a month for a 3 bedroom 2 bath townhouse in bumfuck nowhere CA. Also keep in mind that something that is 20 miles away from downtown San Diego is probably easily a 30+ minute commute each way. Please listen to this man. I'm from SoCal, and I wish I could locate decent SFHs in my hometown, in Ventura County, for under $2300. I had to move out of state, all the way to Chicago, just to be able to afford moving out of my parent's house (1 bedroom apartments went for over $1500 and no studio apartments anywhere nearby!). Also say goodbye to a yard and also: screw anyone in that place that has a grass lawn or unsuitable trees.
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May 26, 2015 21:12
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Bugamol posted:Show me these homes. There's just no loving way there's single family homes (ie 3 bedroom 2 bath 1200 sqft) for $2,000 a month in loving San Diego. If you're talking about 30+ mile radius to San Diego then maybe. I pay $1495 a month for a 3 bedroom 2 bath townhouse in bumfuck nowhere CA. Also keep in mind that something that is 20 miles away from downtown San Diego is probably easily a 30+ minute commute each way. http://hotpads.com/rentals/2739-G-S...ouping=building http://hotpads.com/rentals/35th-Str...ouping=building I did find a single family home bigger than our current house about 25-30 miles away for I think $1,900 or so. Also relax Bugamol I don't want to go all full SloMo here. There's a pretty good chance I'm turning down this job, depending on math, and quality of life like I said. You guys know I like to flesh out the decision making process. Yes I moved closer to my family very intentionally. However my mom and I had a huge rear end talk about us potentially moving out of state for this job about 3 weeks to a month ago. Is it ideal? No. It was also far from the only justification we made to move, which included being closer to family, washer-and-dryers outside the apartment (with a newborn baby pooping everywhere), 4 animals and 3 people in 700 sq/ft, a safety light outside that would light up our bedroom at night despite blinds, neighbors climbing a tree outside our balcony and looking in, a burst pipe under a concrete slab, rotten rancid apples everywhere on the ground walkways for months that would stick to our shoes, no good places to take our dogs for a walk, noise, and more. And most importantly I've found living here that I can't help my mom. I've put so much effort into trying with no lasting results. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Edit those hotpads links look like they may be duplexes or multi-family homes and maybe miscategorized; here's all the single family homes listed as pet-friendly: http://hotpads.com/search#limit=5&l...ouping=building But I've found that looking at more than one rental resources brings up more results. I did see one when I initially started looking that was about $2,000/mo, and a single family home, but it may have been rented. It probably doesn't matter anyway. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 21:26 on May 26, 2015 |
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May 26, 2015 21:17
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Knyteguy posted:http://hotpads.com/rentals/2739-G-S...ouping=building I used to live right across 94 (from the first one) there in Golden Hill, 5-6 years ago. The area was being gentrified, but used to be kind of a crime/grungy area of the city. Definitely not a place people want really aspire to live in (this may have changed since I lived there however). Plus that's backed right up next to a freeway. Isn't the job up north though? That location would be decent for downtown jobs (no freeways needed), but going north it's kind of a pain. MrEnigma fucked around with this message at 21:33 on May 26, 2015 |
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May 26, 2015 21:29
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Knyteguy posted:Yes I moved closer to my family very intentionally. However my mom and I had a huge rear end talk about us potentially moving out of state for this job about 3 weeks to a month ago. Is it ideal? No. It was also far from the only justification we made to move, which included being closer to family, washer-and-dryers outside the apartment (with a newborn baby pooping everywhere), 4 animals and 3 people in 700 sq/ft, a safety light outside that would light up our bedroom at night despite blinds, neighbors climbing a tree outside our balcony and looking in, a burst pipe under a concrete slab, rotten rancid apples everywhere on the ground walkways for months that would stick to our shoes, no good places to take our dogs for a walk, noise, and more. Is this referring to the place you are in now or the place you were in before?
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May 26, 2015 21:30
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IllegallySober posted:Is this referring to the place you are in now or the place you were in before? Before.
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May 26, 2015 21:45
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IllegallySober posted:Is this referring to the place you are in now or the place you were in before? Before. I basically have 0 complaints about our current place. In fact I would be interested in purchasing it if things worked out over time. MrEnigma posted:I used to live right across 94 (from the first one) there in Golden Hill, 5-6 years ago. The area was being gentrified, but used to be kind of a crime/grungy area of the city. Definitely not a place people want really aspire to live in (this may have changed since I lived there however). Plus that's backed right up next to a freeway. I'm trying to avoid being too specific with job location, but it's within 25 miles of that place. Yea crime and stuff would be a big concern. Most especially if my wife and son are home alone during the day. This potential job has been keeping me up at night. Previously for the interview, and now for the decision. A lot of you guys are saying bad idea, so that's playing a large part in how I'm thinking about it. My wife could transfer from her current job to a position with her work in San Diego for a manager training position her work offers. She checked it out yesterday. It pays $45,000/yr and requires a bachelor's degree. Total income ~$150,000/yr. Not sure if it would have a regular schedule though; I doubt it, so it's probably off the table.
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May 26, 2015 21:59
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Living that far away you would also need to budget car #2. You really want one now, if you get a 6 figure job you know you would do it.
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May 26, 2015 21:59
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ufsteph posted:Living that far away you would also need to budget car #2. You really want one now, if you get a 6 figure job you know you would do it. Another car and childcare, seems like a lot of money.
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May 26, 2015 22:02
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ufsteph posted:Living that far away you would also need to budget car #2. You really want one now, if you get a 6 figure job you know you would do it. I can't say on the second car being a need, but I think I've shown a degree of self-control with holding out on a second car. I'd really like to avoid needing one. Six figures logically doesn't matter if we don't get additional spending power (gonna have to wait on the offer to see). Edit: oh and I talked to the recruiter. He said standard weeks are 40-50 hours there depending on what's going on. The recruiters are pretty knowledgeable about their clients since they all work different, specific areas, and with the same clients over time. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 22:08 on May 26, 2015 |
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May 26, 2015 22:04
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Knyteguy posted:I can't say on the second car being a need, but I think I've shown a degree of self-control with holding out on a second car. I'd really like to avoid needing one. If you move your family into a lovely area to save on having a second car, the same thing as happened with the apartment you just complained about will happen again. (don't buy a car right now though - you'll just have to pay to ship it, and you don't need it yet.)
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May 26, 2015 22:10
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Knyteguy posted:Edit: oh and I talked to the recruiter. He said standard weeks are 40-50 hours there depending on what's going on. The recruiters are pretty knowledgeable about their clients since they all work different, specific areas, and with the same clients over time. Please listen to people here when they say this recruiter is not your friend, they do not have your best interests at heart, they are not going to tell you the truth that it's a poo poo place to work at (if it is), all they're trying to do is close a deal so they can collect their commission cheque. You need to take whatever they say with a grain of salt.
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May 26, 2015 22:20
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Rudager posted:Please listen to people here when they say this recruiter is not your friend, they do not have your best interests at heart, they are not going to tell you the truth that it's a poo poo place to work at (if it is), all they're trying to do is close a deal so they can collect their commission cheque. I know. I understand these guys want their money. Should I ask the guy I interviewed with? I have his cell phone and email. e: nevermind. I'll hold off until the offer gets here, and I can ask further questions then. BarbarianElephant posted:If you move your family into a lovely area to save on having a second car, the same thing as happened with the apartment you just complained about will happen again. (don't buy a car right now though - you'll just have to pay to ship it, and you don't need it yet.) Right and that's the exact thing I want to avoid. That apartment was a valuable life lesson - I consider it the quintessential example of our lack of forethought with big decisions sometimes. I feel like that's something we've made progress on. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 22:47 on May 26, 2015 |
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May 26, 2015 22:24
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Rudager posted:Please listen to people here when they say this recruiter is not your friend, they do not have your best interests at heart, they are not going to tell you the truth that it's a poo poo place to work at (if it is), all they're trying to do is close a deal so they can collect their commission cheque. 100% agree with this, and this is coming from someone who has actually had a lot of success using recruiters to find various positions. Even if they aren't scumbags, they are still salesmen trying to close the deal, and do not care about you nearly as much as they care about themselves. You seem to be gobbling up everything your recruiter tells you, when you should instead be skeptical of all the good things (especially the salary) and magnify any of the negatives.
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May 26, 2015 22:27
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Here is how a grownup person decides to relocate: *They have 0 or maybe 1 pet that makes it easy for them to find a place to rent easily. *They aren't in the middle of a lease that will cost (hundreds?thousands?) to break. *They are taking a job that will be an easily measurable increase in the quality of life. Nothing about SD you are considering makes it look like even a 50/50 bet. See also: tons of other posts about why this is a bad idea. *They have a good financial safety net in case things go bad. The odds of this job not working out are probably greater than where you are now. What if you were fired or laid off shortly after moving? *They don't have a newborn child. If you want to relocate - fine you should do it. Just don't be an impulsive idiot about it. Your need to not trust your gut feeling about these sorts of things because, frankly, you're terrible at it. You are constantly looking at the best possible scenario. If you find the cheapest place in SD, if you can get cheapest childcare (you want this?), if the job isn't a horrible soul sucking hellhole. One of these things goes wrong for you and you're hosed.
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May 26, 2015 23:16
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n8r posted:Here is how a grownup person decides to relocate: Are you implying I'm not a grownup? I like your points well enough, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk to me condescendingly. The situation isn't ideal I agree, and that's the biggest reason I'm not jumping on it. My need to trust my gut feeling has worked out a lot in the past. I wouldn't have quit a well-paying graveyard warehouse job with a bunch of shady meth addicts if I hadn't trusted my gut. Neglecting my web hosting company and moving to that apartment was me not trusting my gut. But in this particular case with this particular job, my gut feeling is to decline the job based on what I know. It's not what I want, but it's what I think would be the right decision. One thing that would sway me otherwise is if my wife can stay home with the baby in a decent living space, and work towards being a paralegal or office something or other, while keeping our income:expense ratio low enough to still have a modest monthly savings rate (at least $450-500 mo). If the company can offer me that then I'll probably take it. As an aside my review for my current job is about here. I may be seeing a raise (however small) very shortly. Hopefully it's better than last year's raise (3%); my boss has commented a few times on my increased professionalism since my last review.
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May 26, 2015 23:38
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