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Burkion posted:They completely missed the point of the character, and the tone of the movie was goddamn everywhere. It was a mess of a movie. Absolutely. And it was just bland. The characters were bland, the production design was bland, the landscapes were bland, the dialogue was bland. There was nothing bad about it but that film was the Wonder Bread of the cinematic world. Everything was just a washed out beige. I mean how does someone like Stanton who grew up obsessing over A Princess of Mars go from this  to this  or this  to this 
feedmyleg fucked around with this message at 19:03 on May 21, 2015 |
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May 21, 2015 19:00
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Happy Noodle Boy posted:Stunts are looking good. Chris Pratt is the most likable guy.
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May 21, 2015 19:02
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I literally got about 30 minutes into John Carter and had to turn it off because it was so loving boring. Any of you that paid for that film or watched the whole thing, that's fortitude.
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May 21, 2015 19:18
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The Notorious ZSB posted:I literally got about 30 minutes into John Carter and had to turn it off because it was so loving boring. Any of you that paid for that film or watched the whole thing, that's fortitude. Haha, man, you have no idea. The film front-loaded the mildly interesting parts.
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May 21, 2015 20:56
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Holy goddamn I know that a lot of the other subforums poo poo all over CineD, but like a retard I've been engaging in a debate about Jurassic World on facebook (I know, I know) and I'm having to remind myself to just walk away and not say anything so I don't explode like an irrational rear end in a top hat (one who's real name is linked with every comment I post). Just wanted to thank you guys for being one of the more sensible forums on the internet.
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May 22, 2015 17:01
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Now is the time to reboot the world of God *whipcrack* movies since its pretty much the exact same thing as john carter. Edit: is some the problem with the john carter movies that we sorta know what it looks like on mars now? Uncle Wemus fucked around with this message at 01:38 on May 23, 2015 |
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May 23, 2015 01:36
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Uncle Wemus posted:Now is the time to reboot the world of God *whipcrack* movies since its pretty much the exact same thing as john carter. A problem is that we seem to *CARE* what Mars looks like. That shouldn't matter in a John Carter movie. Dude is an immortal badass who has no past and everyone's known him for all of their lives *BEFORE* he goes to Mars and kicks even more rear end. Reality is already out the door.
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May 23, 2015 01:48
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Uncle Wemus posted:Now is the time to reboot the world of God *whipcrack* movies since its pretty much the exact same thing as john carter. As a pitch, just think of how awesome this sounds: a Spaghetti Western where a post-Civil War soldier is transported to a dying alien planet and reluctantly forced to lead a war. Just imagine if Stanton wasn't tied to his absolute devotion to the source material - the overall problem is that the version we got was technically serviceable but profoundly mediocre. So, no. The visual problem is that they made it look like Mars. Or a boring, flat American desert. They should have just accepted that the Mars depicted in the book was written not too long after a time when everyone still thought of Mars as having rivers and jungle. Burroughs wrote the book with that in mind, with the ever-present plot element of the planet dying. The Barsoom of the books still had alien desert plants and moss all over and drying-up marshes everywhere. The environment much more alien than the more realistic environment depicted in the film, and I think they should have doubled down on that. Keep the strange rock spires and bizarre alien plants, keep the moons gigantic and looming in the sky. They should have doubled down on the environmental disaster theme and pushed it to the forefront to keep the story fresh and relevant - what would a dying world look like? Probably not featureless salt flats. But that's just visually. Beyond that there was the fact that we weren't given a reason to give a poo poo about Carter - they tried by putting in a story about a dead wife and kid, but that backstory was so light and so cliche that it made me dislike him even more than a blank slate. There was also the fact that Kitsch was wildly miscast. That the production design of the alien cities and technologies (and Woola, my god) was boring. That the dialogue was utterly unmemorable, the whiplash-inducing tone switches, and that outside of the non-titular Princess the characters were written as completely uninteresting and unoriginal (and even then she only gets a pass in comparison to everyone else). And that's all before the problem that everyone cites, which is just "all the story elements have been mined by other sci-fi tales since and makes it feel too familiar." I think the only brilliant decision of the film was wrapping it in the Burroughs narrative, by far my favorite part of the movie - and one that wouldn't have been in any other adaptation. The period-Sci-Fi aspect is the coolest thing about it, and they barely ever reference it again after the introduction. feedmyleg fucked around with this message at 05:03 on May 23, 2015 |
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May 23, 2015 03:01
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Burkion posted:A problem is that we seem to *CARE* what Mars looks like. I guess another problem is that it's hard to convey immortal badass without having it take up a good chunk of the movie, especially if you're unfamiliar with the character. I mean I guess they could do the old "oh he's in all of these pictures from the past 200 years" gimmick but then you're making a movie about John Carter instead of a movie starring John Carter. And you still wouldn't get to Mars until a fair way into the film.
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May 23, 2015 03:08
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I liked James Purefoy's three whole minutes of screen time. I wish any of the three villains had even a fraction of the energy of his performance.
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May 23, 2015 03:11
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Tuxedo Catfish posted:I liked James Purefoy's three whole minutes of screen time. I wish any of the three villains had even a fraction of the energy of his performance. James Purefoy, but very true. He was basically Space Antony and it was great. I actually dug Mark Strong's performance as well, but he was given nothing to work with except mustache twirling. e: Psh, don't act like you didn't say James Marsden first! I see you.
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May 23, 2015 03:14
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feedmyleg posted:e: Psh, don't act like you didn't say James Marsden first! I see you. It's not my fault, people were arguing about him in the comic book thread. If I'd said the first thing that popped into my head I would've just called him Mark Antony. 
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May 23, 2015 03:47
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I loved the John Carter derail. Can you guys do Waterworld next? I want a whole goddamn thread about it.
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May 23, 2015 04:52
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Firstborn posted:I loved the John Carter derail. Can you guys do Waterworld next? I want a whole goddamn thread about it. I mean we could always talk about Homestuck if we want this thread to die.
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May 23, 2015 05:27
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feedmyleg posted:Just imagine if Stanton wasn't tied to his absolute devotion to the source material - the overall problem is that the version we got was technically serviceable but profoundly mediocre. So, no. The visual problem is that they made it look like Mars. Or a boring, flat American desert. They should have just accepted that the Mars depicted in the book was written not too long after a time when everyone still thought of Mars as having rivers and jungle.
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May 23, 2015 06:40
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Reboot Jurassic Park as a pulp adventure where a team of scientists find a lost world of dinosaurs and capture them to use in mass entertainment but everything goes wrong because of chaos theory? I mean, Valley of Gwanji is exactly that, but with Cowboys instead of scientists and Gypsies instead of chaos theory. Though no proper Jeff Goldblum character. I say we just get a remake of Gwanji starring modern Goldblum. feedmyleg fucked around with this message at 07:00 on May 23, 2015 |
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May 23, 2015 06:58
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A Buttery Pastry posted:Now if only they'd make a period piece Jurassic Park movie with dinosaurs accurate to the beliefs of the day. That would be so awesome. Like a Jules Verne era JP.
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May 23, 2015 07:39
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feedmyleg posted:Reboot Jurassic Park as a pulp adventure where a team of scientists find a lost world of dinosaurs and capture them to use in mass entertainment but everything goes wrong because of chaos theory? Yeah, you could cap it with the trex tearing through San Diego instead of London. Of course, since Spielberg is attached there will need to be a happy ending, have the trex be returned to the wild instead of burned alive by flaming oil in a cathedral. And we will need to work in a kid to save the day because, again, Spielberg. People really underestimate how much classic dinosaur stuff he worked into The Lost World. Its draws a lot on Gwanji and Doyle's story Though I'd watch the hell out of a gwanji remake
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May 23, 2015 13:54
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Fried Chicken posted:Yeah, you could cap it with the trex tearing through San Diego instead of London. Of course, since Spielberg is attached there will need to be a happy ending, have the trex be returned to the wild instead of burned alive by flaming oil in a cathedral. And we will need to work in a kid to save the day because, again, Spielberg. The happy ending is that everyone gets a tiny horse and they're adorable.
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May 23, 2015 19:04
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feedmyleg posted:Absolutely. And it was just bland. The characters were bland, the production design was bland, the landscapes were bland, the dialogue was bland. There was nothing bad about it but that film was the Wonder Bread of the cinematic world. Everything was just a washed out beige. That poo poo looks stupid
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May 23, 2015 19:49
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Wouldn't the obvious solution for a modern John Carter movie be that instead of him getting transported to literal 4th planet from the sun Mars, he gets sent to a fictional planet called "Barsoom" that's all crazy and full of wacky lifeforms and poo poo?
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May 23, 2015 22:50
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Xenomrph posted:Wouldn't the obvious solution for a modern John Carter movie be that instead of him getting transported to literal 4th planet from the sun Mars, he gets sent to a fictional planet called "Barsoom" that's all crazy and full of wacky lifeforms and poo poo? That solves the issue of the name (although some people will still gripe), but doesn't change the overall problem with the series. People have an issue with the John Carter film we got because it "looks like a Western", but that's what the series is. You have civilization, you have Indians, you have damsels in distress and men being manly. The rest of it is just window dressing.
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May 23, 2015 23:02
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computer parts posted:That solves the issue of the name (although some people will still gripe), but doesn't change the overall problem with the series.
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May 23, 2015 23:25
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Xenomrph posted:But that's the thing, if you set it on some crazy fictional world that's more in line with the Barsoom of the books, wouldn't that make it look less like an American desert and more like, say, the artwork posted? My point is that it absolutely should resemble a Western (and even does in the actual books). Note how the only main difference in geography for both of those artwork pieces is that there are large planets in the background. Everything else resembles a Western.
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May 23, 2015 23:28
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I agree that it should resemble a Western. But not the flat, featureless, blank landscape version of the adaptation. Instead, it should be a John Ford technicolor Monument Valley Western cranked up to 11.
feedmyleg fucked around with this message at 08:29 on May 24, 2015 |
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May 24, 2015 06:16
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computer parts posted:My point is that it absolutely should resemble a Western (and even does in the actual books). I never saw the place as too western-ish when reading the original books since there was all the mention of crossing dried out sea beds, abandoned city ruins and the occasional jungle or forest amid the drier wasteland areas. Barsoom is really more like a Flash Gordon/Mad Max mash up than a western (though it predates both of those things by quite a bit).
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May 24, 2015 21:05
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Bob Quixote posted:I never saw the place as too western-ish when reading the original books since there was all the mention of crossing dried out sea beds, abandoned city ruins and the occasional jungle or forest amid the drier wasteland areas. Barsoom is really more like a Flash Gordon/Mad Max mash up than a western (though it predates both of those things by quite a bit). Dried out seabeds are absolutely part of Western iconography (as in they're literally there today). Forests not so much but they are present (e.g., 2010 True Grit ). Abandoned cities are not as much of a staple of Westerns specifically but are present in other desert iconography (i.e., Middle East adventures typically feature abandoned cities in the desert).
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May 24, 2015 21:59
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Just rewatched the trilogy and yeah, JP1 is the only remotely good movie of the three. The Lost World is a little better in regards to dinosaur action but it's a pile of poo poo in every other aspect, all of the characters are loving morons except Malcolm who seems to be the movie's audience surrogate and not a very good one. JP3 is probably even worse than I remember, the pacing is completely out of whack and none of the characters are likable, Sam Neill completely phoned in his performance you could just tell he didn't really want to be there but probably needed to pay his rent. What a depressing trip down memory lane, I'm atleast happy that JP1 is a genuinely great movie though.
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May 25, 2015 00:00
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Don't worry this movie will be worthless garbage to match the audience excited to see it.
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May 25, 2015 00:18
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I haven't seen The Lost World in so long. For some reason they only ever play the first and third movies on TV. I guess that's fine because I either get to watch one of my favorite movies of all time, or I get to laugh at talking nightmare raptors, the hilarious plane crash scene, a kid gathering dinosaur piss for survival...that whole movie is hilarious.
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May 25, 2015 00:23
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Deakul posted:Just rewatched the trilogy and yeah, JP1 is the only remotely good movie of the three. Dr. Grant absoutly not wanting to be on Isla Nublar, and only getting dragged back with the promise of a hefty paycheck is a brilliant bit of self awareness.
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May 25, 2015 00:27
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virtualboyCOLOR posted:Don't worry this movie will be worthless garbage to match the audience excited to see it. Actually Jurassic World is going to be objectively awesome, I'm really sorry you can't see this. 
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May 25, 2015 00:58
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Deakul posted:JP3 is probably even worse than I remember, the pacing is completely out of whack and none of the characters are likable, Sam Neill completely phoned in his performance you could just tell he didn't really want to be there but probably needed to pay his rent.
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May 25, 2015 01:20
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Xenomrph posted:Wouldn't the obvious solution for a modern John Carter movie be that instead of him getting transported to literal 4th planet from the sun Mars, he gets sent to a fictional planet called "Barsoom" that's all crazy and full of wacky lifeforms and poo poo? Just make it something something time travel instead of just a teleport beam, so it's Past Mars or something. There, "John Carter of Mars" and you can still toss in whatever you feel like.
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May 25, 2015 05:33
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Deakul posted:The Lost World is a little better in regards to dinosaur action but it's a pile of poo poo in every other aspect, all of the characters are loving morons except Malcolm who seems to be the movie's audience surrogate and not a very good one. Hey man that hunter guy went to hell for the thrill of a hunt! dude just wanted to hunt a t-rex...then he hosed off.
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May 25, 2015 10:10
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virtualboyCOLOR posted:Don't worry this movie will be worthless garbage to match the audience excited to see it. Were you crying while writing this? The Lost World isn't particularly great by normal standards, but as Dino-madness for two hours it is pretty adept. I remember as a kid I loved Dinosaurs so would just watch old films on tv hoping a dinosaur would turn up, I think I caught Gwangi once which led me to watch a whole bunch of westerns on TV in hope of an Allosaurus. To no avail. So, Lost World was my favourite film when I was seven, and I still kind of like it now.
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May 26, 2015 11:42
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So this got put up on the movie's Instagram a little bit ago: https://instagram.com/p/3McxZ-QeYC/?taken-by=jurassicworld It's nothing we didn't already know but oh my god this movie is literally going to reduce me to being an eight year old again
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May 27, 2015 19:33
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I don't really feel like it was Sam Neil's performance that was phone in for JP3, more that the script and his part in particular were phoned in and just unoriginal and boring.
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May 27, 2015 19:37
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I don't know what's better, Pratt treating one raptor like a child who isn't listening ("What did I JUST say?") or chastizing another raptor who thinks its being clever sliding up next to him ("Delta, I see you, BACK UP)".
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May 27, 2015 21:46
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The music is good. But god drat those are some fake looking raptors, and those blue streaks.
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May 27, 2015 23:17
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