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GenderSelectScreen
Mar 7, 2010

I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME
College Slice
G

After what happened to India and Australia we should not be allowed to explore anymore continents :colbert:

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Technowolf
Nov 4, 2009




3G

Mostly I just want to see how you gift 'Imperialism'.

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

YF-23 posted:

3A


This is foolish. We are indeed a corporation, and so competition is our expertise. And when competing with states, all the railroads in the world won't matter if you are not willing to put guns where others are. While you wait for the tribal chiefs to make the enlightened discovery that they would be better off as members of the Hansa, Scotland, the Incas, and the Carthaginians will be marching troops and putting an end to those chiefs' power.

I believe that Africa is going to be vital for the future of this world. I believe that Africa is something we should throw ourselves at. And if we're going to do this then we have to do it right. You're either in it or you aren't; there's no one-foot-in-one-foot-out way to go about it, and any such attempt will end in failure. We must invest in Africa, and we must do so comprehensively, and aggressively, anything else and we might as well not bother.

A

Well said, well said! Africa cannot hope to resist our rivals, and we cannot allow our rivals to grow more powerful. Ergo...

Empress Theonora
Feb 19, 2001

She was a sword glinting in the depths of night, a lance of light piercing the darkness. There would be no mistakes this time.
2M

Technowolf posted:

3G

Mostly I just want to see how you gift 'Imperialism'.



The flavor for the event seemed to say via diplomatic support for Morgan Industries' imperial project.

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


Technowolf posted:

3G

Mostly I just want to see how you gift 'Imperialism'.

We gain infamy, they get conquest CBs on some African minors.

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


ZearothK posted:

We gain infamy, they get conquest CBs on some African minors.

So we gain infamy only to watch the ai either not use the cbs or bungle a naval invasion? :v:

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


ThatBasqueGuy posted:

So we gain infamy only to watch the ai either not use the cbs or bungle a naval invasion? :v:

Well, the Afrika Korps is right there... And, let's just say there are ways to nudge the AI. Wink, wink.

Luhood
Nov 13, 2012
1M

We Neubauteners are many things. Merchants, Explorers, Administrators, Diplomats, Craftsmen, Guards, and much more. Though there is one thing we're not: Conquerors. Just like it was not our job to meddle in Lübeck's affairs in Europe or the Raj's in India, Africa is for those who lived there. The Atefids to the north are already valuable allies to the League, and I think we should seek to reach similar agreements with Kilwa, Mali, Kazembe and even Mahuatiquez if possible. We give them our protection, and in exchange we get to use their ports to buy their resources.

If Morgan Industries wants to take on the Scots of New Selkirk let that be their mission alone. Neubauten does not destroy, it builds. Let us use our Steel for their railroads, and our Gold for their workers. If the Scots take the Southern tip of the continent then so be it, the League will rule the rest from the waves and our coffers.

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

Luhood posted:

1M

We Neubauteners are many things. Merchants, Explorers, Administrators, Diplomats, Craftsmen, Guards, and much more. Though there is one thing we're not: Conquerors. Just like it was not our job to meddle in Lübeck's affairs in Europe or the Raj's in India, Africa is for those who lived there. The Atefids to the north are already valuable allies to the League, and I think we should seek to reach similar agreements with Kilwa, Mali, Kazembe and even Mahuatiquez if possible. We give them our protection, and in exchange we get to use their ports to buy their resources.

If Morgan Industries wants to take on the Scots of New Selkirk let that be their mission alone. Neubauten does not destroy, it builds. Let us use our Steel for their railroads, and our Gold for their workers. If the Scots take the Southern tip of the continent then so be it, the League will rule the rest from the waves and our coffers.

We are not conquerors? We are not conquerors?! How do think we became the world's premier power? How do think the Neubauten, indeed, the Hansa itself, was built? How can you forget this, our history, our inheritance, our blood?! This continent was conquered by our ancestors, as was the Raj and the Baltic! Your short-sighted weakness is a symptom of the great disease that has infected the Hansa of late, though. The recent decades have not been kind to us, and this is because so many fools have forgotten what we are: conquerors.

What good will come of investing in the petty despots of Africa? Our enemies will still be greater than them, and we will lose treasure. And if, by some miracle, we make new powers, how long will their gratitude last? How long before they recognize the weakness epitomized by you and seize our colonies? Ally with our enemies?! We cannot allow them this chance! If we are to invest in Africa, we must own it! All the wealth and potential of Africa will be turned against us unless it is conquered under Hanseatic flags!

Lord Cyrahzax fucked around with this message at 00:06 on May 28, 2015

Serpentis
May 31, 2011

Well, if I really HAVE to shoot you in the bollocks to shut you up, then I guess I'll need to, post-haste, for everyone else's sake.
G, G, G, for the love of the Hansa, G. Need I really remind the floor of the two dooms knocking on our doorstep to the South and to the West of Amerika? I refuse to vote on the other Africa issue because it stands to reason we should have no drat business in Africa anyway. All of you calling for the heads of petty African warlords are fools whose guns are pointed in the wrong direction, those of you who think we can challenge Scots dominion of West and South Africa - or profit from penny-packet investment in the other regions - are idealists with no good business being called statesmen, and I cannot fathom why this

Lord Cyrahzax posted:

Well said, well said! Africa cannot hope to resist our rivals, and we cannot allow our rivals to grow more powerful. Ergo...

absurdism is tolerated in this Hansetag. Have you forgotten that our rivals have been growing more powerful by proverbially chewing off our and our allies' territories piecemeal? drat the potential of their power growing in Africa, their power is quite absolutely growing right now in fronts African 'adventures' would deprive desperately-needed defence and investment money from!

We must stop wasting time and money - and might I add more prosaically, good stationery and fine paper? - on colonial matters.

Luhood
Nov 13, 2012

Lord Cyrahzax posted:

We are not conquerors? We are not conquerors?! How do think we became the world's premier power? How do think the Neubauten, indeed, the Hansa itself, was built? How can you forget this, our history, our inheritance, our blood?! This continent was conquered by our ancestors, as was the Raj and the Baltic! Your short-sighted weakness is a symptom of the great disease that has infected the Hansa of late, though. The recent decades have not been kind to us, and this is because so many fools have forgotten what we are: conquerors.

What good will come of investing in the petty despots of Africa? Our enemies will still be greater than them, and we will lose treasure. And if, by some miracle, we make new powers, how long will their gratitude last? How long before they recognize the weakness epitomized by you and seize our colonies? Ally with our enemies?! We cannot allow them this chance! If we are to invest in Africa, we must own it! All the wealth and potential of Africa will be turned against us unless it is conquered under Hanseatic flags!

What enemies? The Scots are our allies, members of the European League as you surely know. The Aztecs have no colonial presence as of yet and the Incas are currently limited to Western Africa, a position we cannot oust them from directly if we want to keep the Aztecs trapped between two enemies. The rest of them - Yian, Angkor and Malaya - are held at bay by out Naval capabilities, not to mention the fleet of Oste Wasi once our alliance with them is put to the ink. We are driven not by the march of feet but by the flow of goods.

Besides, our gain is not by gratitude but by contract. We scratch their back, they scratch ours.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

1G. Have we learned nothing from the disastrous exploration of Seletan? We, and the rest of the world, would do well to leave the Dark Continent dark.

Dry Hump
Sep 14, 2013
S Explore the poo poo out of Africa. Let's wake up some new eldritch horrors.

GSD
May 10, 2014

by Nyc_Tattoo
1M.

Gentlemen, Ladies, distinguished guests. The Hansa has risen to its place in the world by its wealth and its pragmatism far more than its strength of arms. Those are admirably, of course, and have their place in our future endeavors, but we would be best served by expanding our interests through diplomatic and mercantile means. Backed up, of course, by arms when necessary. We must integrate ourselves into the mighty economies of Africa, ancient Mali and proud Kilwa, while also forging new economies with colonization, where the lands are undeveloped.

Gravity Cant Apple
Jun 25, 2011

guys its just like if you had an apple with a straw n you poked the apple though wit it n a pebbl hadnt dropped through itd stop straw insid the apple because gravity cant apple
3A. The best way to make the citizens of minor African countries realize how much better life is as a member of the Hansa is to make them join forcibly so they can learn firsthand.

alcaras
Oct 3, 2013

noli timere
2B

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
1M

Mugabe
Dec 4, 2012

I have died many times. I have actually beaten Jesus Christ because he only died once.
3M

Morgan Industries is a member of the Hanseatic Community, and we must support them by any means.

Grizzwold
Jan 27, 2012

Posters off the pork bow!

Dry Hump posted:

S Explore the poo poo out of Africa. Let's wake up some new eldritch horrors.

Dig up new eldritch horrors, make them fight the ones we've already got. Nothing can possibly go wrong! :v:

1S

Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011

Pakled posted:

3M

It is not the role of Neubauten to dominate Africa for its own gain, but rather, to support our sister states in their own ambitions for prosperity and civilization. To that end, we should empower Morgan Industries to do the heavy lifting in Africa, while maintaining trading ties with the most powerful native states, for the sake of the Hansa and for the poor savages of Africa.

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!

Dry Hump posted:

S Explore the poo poo out of Africa. Let's wake up some new eldritch horrors.

Maybe we can explore Congo, find a bunch of evil gorillas and turn them into our shock infantry.

Congo was a terrible movie.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
1M

Morgan is a part of the Hansa in perpetuity, and thus our gifts should reflect this. Nothing ephemeral, but long-lasting groundwork on which to build.

Unwise_Cashew
Jan 19, 2014
1M

While exploring the dark continent in hopes of even greater horrors to unleash is appealing, I'd rather not see another Yian arise in an untapped market.

Ibblebibble
Nov 12, 2013

1M

With enough money we can do anything.

YF-23
Feb 17, 2011

My god, it's full of cat!


The Morgan plan seems to be getting support, but I can't see it. It promises a strong Africa, and strong African states. But is a strong Africa what we want? Or is it a strong Hansa? Morgan Industries needs of course to be supported. But does Kilwa and Mali? Does Scotland? The Morgan Plan suggests that we let others exploit the riches of that great continent. And what does that gain us? It gains us nothing. Let's face it - in some things, Neubauten is the Hansa. When it comes to deciding the League's future, to determining its course through history, no-one's opinion truly matters but ours.

We live in a glorious present, one that we've reached through centuries of toil. The present state did not come from parthenogenesis. It is the product of a long history of aggression and expansion. THAT is where our present glory comes from. We can be proud to be Hanseatic citizens, secure in the knowledge that the Hansa is a home that stretches across all hemispheres, that its influence has left near no petty kingdom or republic on our planet untouched. We can be proud that we are the children of those that have stood up against the Yian, that our grandparents and greatgrandparents had the pride and dignity to reject the devil's bargain, that they were willing to accept the great loss of Lübeck in hellfire and that they made sure justice was served.

That is the past our present is made of. And if we want an equally glorious future we must leave it an equal legacy. I plead with you to not let this be the era when the Hansa embraced stagnation.

Bishop Rodan
Dec 5, 2011

See you in the funny papers, liebchen!

Technowolf posted:

3G

Mostly I just want to see how you gift 'Imperialism'.

:agreed:

Pacho
Jun 9, 2010
3M

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021




GSD posted:

1M.

Gentlemen, Ladies, distinguished guests. The Hansa has risen to its place in the world by its wealth and its pragmatism far more than its strength of arms. Those are admirably, of course, and have their place in our future endeavors, but we would be best served by expanding our interests through diplomatic and mercantile means. Backed up, of course, by arms when necessary. We must integrate ourselves into the mighty economies of Africa, ancient Mali and proud Kilwa, while also forging new economies with colonization, where the lands are undeveloped.



“Done.” Kiri deposited the preliminary reports over the table, a relatively thick volume.

“Already?” her boss, Cheng Chambi, First Keeper of the Western Sea, seemed surprised. He was hoping she’d be busy for a few more days at least. She would be taking his job in a couple of years at this pace.



“There are not that many countries in our region.”



“There is a large amount of data.”



“The Quipu Archives are well-organized and I am actually paid to work.” she was not even bothering to conceal it, he noticed.



“Right, right.” he flipped through the pages. Fine handwriting, maps surrounded by neat notes and numbers, it was good work. “So tell me, after all this, what is your personal evaluation of our geopolitical situation?”

“My personal evaluation is irrelevant, my professional evaluation, however is that we have a momentary advantage.” Chambi gestured for her to continue “Our Co-Prosperity Pact, composed of Angkor and the Marathas, has successfully beaten back the Mala-Yian Alliance after five years of warfare, the Manchu tribes will soon join our House and we have decisively defeated the kingdom of Bengal.”



“So you say, but we merely fought their alliance to a standstill and our primary ally, Angkor, has been devastated by the attrition warfare. The periphery of their territory has been pillaged and terrorized by the Yian and their professional army barely remains.”



“But Malaya no longer has a fleet. It is easier to arm and train thousands of men than it is to build an entire navy. Nonetheless, I did say our advantage is momentary. Malaya’s strategic mobility has been reduced, but they still maintain a very successful diplomatic corps and an extremely progressive scientific establishment, thanks to their on-going exploitation of Selatan.”

“Yes, Selatan… We will get to them later, but do carry on, how does Malayan diplomacy threaten us?”



“Militarily they can mobilize the Mongol tribes and the kingdom of Korea against us, and invite Bengal against Angkor. Neither is a true threat to the corporation, but they can reduce the profitability of developing Manchuria and North Asia and would take considerable manpower to contain. Economically they have also reached as far as Afghanistan, giving them flexible markets and military partners in central Asia. They have a powerful brand and it is through this that they have maintained a slight lead over us economically, despite our superior practices.”



“Would you consider them a greater threat than the Yian?”

“I most certainly would. Malaya is a true rival, the Yian Empire is a barbaric kingdom that has barely reached the modern era, they worship a false god and remain at war with their own population. Their army lacks the professional standards of our own or Angkor’s, which led to their defeat in the great war, despite vastly outnumbering us.”

“I believe you are underestimating them, Kiri, the Yian remain the most populous state in the world and their control of China grows stronger by the day, not to mention their own diplomatic efforts. Same allies as the Malayan Republic, plus Rurikovich Rus. Though I understand you are passing judgement from a position of ignorance.”

“I have studied every single document in the archives.”

“Not every document, your clearance is still limited, but I am sure you will be promoted soon, so I can reveal as much to you.” Cheng made a dramatic pause “We are responsible for the Yian Empire, Yian himself was created by us in the brief time we held colonies in Selatan Besar and we provided him with the suns to destroy China.”

“That does not even make sense. It would be against the protocols to give the last of a trade advantage to another nation.”

“It would be, if it was the case... What mattered at the time was destabilizing the Shun Empire.” he was about to continue, but decided he had dared enough “Look, the point is that China has historically been our main rival for hegemony in Asia and continues to be. Malaya’s power is a much more fragile thing.”



“And what about the state of Selatan Besar? Am I to presume that you will create another security flaw in order to gloat about your privileged access to information?”

“No…” a brief pause “but I will tell you something amusing. Europeans and Ixachitlaners actually believe it is populated by roving bands of cannibals inhabiting a broken wasteland.”

“I heard that rumour, but I could not believe they could be so dumb.”

“Well, they are pretty dumb.”

------------------------------------------



STRATEGIC VOTE:

East Asia is the home to several great powers and other powerful states. As for now, we are unable to seek a direct alliance with either of the existing power blocs, but that might change in the future, nonetheless, we may still take part in whatever political crisis might emerge in the region and we can foster good relations with either of the two sides.

c) Align with the Co-Prosperity Pact: No state has more in common with the Hanseatic League than the Oste Wasi, they are our natural allies in the far East now that China has been taken over by that unspeakable cult. They share our enemies and our outlook, do I really need to say more?

m) Align with the Mal-Yian Alliance: Ours is a nation of traders, not warriors, while true good relations with the Yian will never be possible, their dependency on Malaya for their strategic goals means we can reach out to the republic to foster at least neutrality with China. Besides, Malaya controls every strategic strait between China, India and Selatan, which makes them formidable economic partners if we can find common ground.

n) Remain Neutral: I want everyone to stop and think. Here we have a geopolitical situation with two sides that bitterly hate one another. We have the Raj, we have the Scottish, we may even get the Marathas. We should play both sides against one another, with the true goal of weakening them to the point where we can free a China that is begging us for succour and which will prove themselves true allies in the future.

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


3c

Gotta have it all

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

Let the East devour itself. When they are done, a true feast will be waiting for us.

3n

GSD
May 10, 2014

by Nyc_Tattoo
3c.

As you all know, our good friend and long standing ally, the true Son of Heaven, the Shun Emperor, has fallen. We were instrumental in the downfall of the first Yian uprising. If the false dynasty and its false god are to be cast down, we must again play our part.

We must also ensure that this time we destroy the Yian for good. Only by integrating East Asia into the global capitalist system can we ensure this cancer cannot fester and reemerge, as it has done more recently. The Western House has already begun this process, and we should commend them for it. Between the new China and Oste Wasi, East Asia will be a bastion of reason and capitalism.


--
fake edit: Do we have access to a Shun pretender, or would the new China be a new dynasty/maybe even a republic?

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


GSD posted:

fake edit: Do we have access to a Shun pretender, or would the new China be a new dynasty/maybe even a republic?

The Shun are done for, rebel Bureaucratic China would be a Republican Dictatorship led by the bureaucrats while Hanseatic China would be a Corporate Government.

Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011

ThatBasqueGuy posted:

3c

Gotta have it all

mcclay
Jul 8, 2013

Oh dear oh gosh oh darn
Soiled Meat
3c

GSD
May 10, 2014

by Nyc_Tattoo

ZearothK posted:

The Shun are done for, rebel Bureaucratic China would be a Republican Dictatorship led by the bureaucrats while Hanseatic China would be a Corporate Government.

Alas for our old friends. But on the other hand, that nicely avoids the issue of integrating another monarchy into the League.

So it comes down to whether Yun Shichang prefers the title of Chancellor or CEO.

Luhood
Nov 13, 2012
3C

The Shun has proven their inability to lead the way properly, time and time again. Twice they have ruled, and twice they have been defeated by the Yian. Enough I say! We will align ourselves with the Oste Wasi, our allies in the Far East, and we will seek to restore the Chinese Emperor to the Celestial Throne under assistance of Hansaetic Bureaucrats rather than native Chinese who have proven unable to hold what they take.

Pakled
Aug 6, 2011

WE ARE SMART
3C

The Selatani Cult is the greatest threat to civilization since the Aztecs crossed the Atlantic. We must do everything we can to halt and reverse its spread.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
3C

We of the Hansa have never been shy of taking on opportunities as they present themselves: We would hardly be here astride the world, discussing matters of every realm and region, if we had been. Now, the greatest existential threat to our business had a Selatani origin: Thus, entering into a fuller partnership with those who know full well the danger is only wisdom. Let us extend the hand of mutual profits to our new allies, and toast their continued success!

Pacho
Jun 9, 2010
3N

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alcaras
Oct 3, 2013

noli timere
3c

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