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Xandu
Feb 19, 2006


It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am.
No, I don't think anyone involved qualifies as a foreign official.

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etalian
Mar 20, 2006

axeil posted:

Any chance Nike is gonna get hit with FCPA for that?

For those not in the know, FCPA is the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act which makes it extremely illegal to bribe foreign officials (even if the bribe is legal in that country). It's pretty much the worst thing for a company to get smacked with short of RICO.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreign_Corrupt_Practices_Act


If FCPA applies it could get fairly nasty, although there hasn't been any real big landmark case that I know about.

Most of the time FCPA just ends be settled with a big fine, it's a really painful to company like Nike that has multi-billion dollar net worth.

LionYeti
Oct 12, 2008


Yeah I think Nike is gonna be fine FCPA only really applies when companies directly bribe foreign governments. This has enough degrees of separation that Nike's inthe clear

sincx
Jul 13, 2012

furiously masturbating to anime titties

Xandu posted:

No, I don't think anyone involved qualifies as a foreign official.

The DOJ can probably make a decent argument that at least some of the intermediaries were agents for foreign officials. I find it hard to believe that none of the money ended up in a corrupt Brazilian government worker's pocket.

incoherent
Apr 24, 2004

01010100011010000111001
00110100101101100011011
000110010101110010
Unless there is significant political pressure internally to hand-slap nike there is no way you wouldn't want to land a whale with that law. That'd be your legacy.

Solkanar512
Dec 28, 2006

by the sex ghost

Vladimir Putin posted:

No I'm pretty sure Americans don't give a gently caress about soccer. Any amount of time living in America would tell you that. Those households playing soccer are basically all little kids and have been that way all throughout the 80's and beyond.

Seriously, where in the hell do you get this? Most of the teams are profitable, they're adding a team or two per year, and we have stadiums whose average attendance puts the majority of Europe to shame.



Yeah, look at all those empty seats...

Angry_Ed
Mar 30, 2010




Grimey Drawer

Solkanar512 posted:

Seriously, where in the hell do you get this? Most of the teams are profitable, they're adding a team or two per year, and we have stadiums whose average attendance puts the majority of Europe to shame.



Yeah, look at all those empty seats...

Also it should be noted that the MLS now (or at least in 2013) has a higher average attendance at games than either the NHL or NBA

Forbes article from 2013 posted:

There’s certainly no lack of demand for the proposed expansion teams. Two new franchises in Orlando and New York City are already expected to join in 2015, bringing the league up to 21 teams. Former LA Galaxy midfielder David Beckham is exploring expansion opportunities in Miami, while Atlanta, Minneapolis and Sacramento suburb Elk Grove are just a few cities that appear intent on claiming an MLS team in the coming years.

That demand should be little surprise given the league’s recent success. In 2011, average MLS attendance hit 17,872 to surpass both the NBA and NHL, and it has since increased to 18,611 fans per game. More impressively, the average franchise is now worth $103 million, up more than 175% over the last five years. With five planned expansion teams and a new league TV deal on the way, there’s no reason to believe that growth is slowing anytime soon.

I mean yeah, the MLS is not going to topple the NFL anytime soon but it's come a long way from being on the verge of collapse like it was roughly a decade ago.

Bob James
Nov 15, 2005

by Lowtax
Ultra Carp

Solkanar512 posted:

Seriously, where in the hell do you get this? Most of the teams are profitable, they're adding a team or two per year, and we have stadiums whose average attendance puts the majority of Europe to shame.



Yeah, look at all those empty seats...

There more money in fake wrestling than in real soccer.

Armani
Jun 22, 2008

Now it's been 17 summers since I've seen my mother

But every night I see her smile inside my dreams
Best selling sports game title of all time is FIFA:

"As of 2011, the FIFA franchise has been localised into 18 languages and available in 51 countries.[3] The series has sold more than 100 million copies worldwide, making it the best-selling sports video game franchise in the world, and one of the best-selling video game franchises.[4] Also FIFA 12 holds the record for the "fastest selling sports game ever" with over 3.2 million games sold and over $186 million generated at retail in its first week of release."

9-Volt Assault
Jan 27, 2007

Beter twee tetten in de hand dan tien op de vlucht.
The president of the French football association, Noël Le Graët, said in a reaction to Blatter's resignation that 'Blatter is to blame for nothing'. :lol:

And Jérôme Champagne called Blatter a martyr for sacrificing himself for the greater good. :lol:

Toplowtech
Aug 31, 2004


It's really Christmas in June.

quote:

LYON, France – At the request of US authorities, INTERPOL Red Notices – or international wanted persons alerts – have been issued for two former FIFA officials and four corporate executives for charges including racketeering, conspiracy and corruption.

The Red Notices have been issued for;

Jack Warner, Trinidad & Tobago national, former FIFA vice president and executive committee member, CONCACAF president, CFU president and Trinidad and Tobago Football Federation (TTFF) special adviser.

Nicolás Leoz, Paraguayan national, former FIFA executive committee member and CONMEBOL president.

Alejandro Burzaco, Argentine national, controlling principal of Torneos y Competencias S.A., a sports marketing business based in Argentina, and its affiliates.

Hugo Jinkis and Mariano Jinkis, Argentine nationals, controlling principals of Full Play Group S.A., a sports marketing business based in Argentina, and its affiliates.

José Margulies (also known as José Lazaro), Brazilian national, controlling principal of Valente Corp. and Somerton Ltd., broadcasting businesses.

Red Notices are one of the ways in which INTERPOL informs its member countries that an arrest warrant has been issued for an individual by a judicial authority and seeks the location and arrest of wanted persons with a view to extradition or similar lawful action.

The individuals concerned are wanted by national jurisdictions and INTERPOL’s role is to assist national police forces in identifying or locating those individuals with a view to their arrest and extradition.

A Red Notice is not an international arrest warrant, and INTERPOL cannot compel any member country to arrest the subject of a Red Notice.

INTERPOL’s General Secretariat does not send officers to arrest individuals who are the subject of a Red Notice. Only the law enforcement authorities of the INTERPOL member country where the individual is located have the legal authority to make an arrest.

Toplowtech fucked around with this message at 10:19 on Jun 3, 2015

suck my woke dick
Oct 10, 2012

:siren:I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!:siren:

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

Charlie Mopps posted:

The president of the French football association, Noël Le Graët, said in a reaction to Blatter's resignation that 'Blatter is to blame for nothing'. :lol:

And Jérôme Champagne called Blatter a martyr for sacrificing himself for the greater good. :lol:

It's a shame that "he totally threw himself on the sword despite his innocence" wouldn't be covered even by RICO charges in this case :v:

Spazzle
Jul 5, 2003

What is context to why international soccer fans are so actively pissed at fifa?

Solkanar512
Dec 28, 2006

by the sex ghost

Spazzle posted:

What is context to why international soccer fans are so actively pissed at fifa?

These will sum it up quite nicely.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlJEt2KU33I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr6ar3xJL_Q

pangstrom
Jan 25, 2003

Wedge Regret

Spazzle posted:

What is context to why international soccer fans are so actively pissed at fifa?
Well, computer pretending to be a person, FIFA leverages people's love for soccer into money for people working at FIFA. This beak-wetting trumps the interest of the fans, the game, local governments, fairness, etc. Qatar getting the World Cup was when it really jumped the shark I think, but you can watch John Oliver videos if you want the other highlights.

Vladimir Putin
Mar 17, 2007

by R. Guyovich
It just sounds like a huge multinational with too much power and not enough oversight. It's typical for big international corporations to do crazy poo poo but it sounds like FIFA got too big and thought themselves too untouchable.

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013

---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Spazzle posted:

What is context to why international soccer fans are so actively pissed at fifa?

The by far biggest reason is the 2022 World Cup in Qatar. You obviously can't play a World Cup in summer (the traditional WC time), since the players would simply die in the heat. That means the WC must be held at another time, and it was nearly always most likely to be held in the winter. That disrupts basically all domestic soccer leagues, who would need to be suspended at least a month before the WC, and a few weeks afterwards. Additionally, since something like 90% of all players in a World Cup play in one of Europe's domestic leagues, this would mean a lot of European clubs will have very exhausted players in the middle of the season. Some of the most successful clubs in Europe would have nearly all their first team, and a lot of their second team, playing for their countries in the tournament, since they bought basically the best players in the world, regardless of nationality. That would be a huge disadvantage, not only in their domestic season but also in the international competitions, like the UEFA Champions League (the most important soccer tournament for clubs), which could cost them dozens of millions of Euros. The English are especially unhappy with a winter World Cup, since they have a winter break a lot later than all other leagues, and the Christmas games are often the most important/popular matches in a season.

Then there is a usual snobbery, the classical European and South American soccer powers don't understand why upstarts like Qatar, who never even qualified for a World Cup, can host soccer's most important tournament. There is also the human rights issues (which is also a problem with Russia, just not as bad as in Qatar), with probably hundreds of quasi-slaves dying already to construct the soccer stadiums. And even though it's illegal to make "propaganda for deviant(gay) lifestyles" in Russia, at least you can't be sentenced to death over it like in Qatar, not to mention the treatment of women etc.

And the corruption is of course isn't good for the image of soccer, which isn't unimportant for soccer fans. Additionally, some suspect the FIFA of fixing or influencing World Cup matches, which is of course a huge deal. Examples like South Korea in the 2002 World Cup, or Brazil in the most recent World Cup come to mind.

BI NOW GAY LATER
Jan 17, 2008

So people stop asking, the "Bi" in my username is a reference to my love for the two greatest collegiate sports programs in the world, the Virginia Tech Hokies and the Marshall Thundering Herd.

Vladimir Putin posted:

It just sounds like a huge multinational with too much power and not enough oversight. It's typical for big international corporations to do crazy poo poo but it sounds like FIFA got too big and thought themselves too untouchable.

They basically were untouchable. No one else would be willing to take them on because we do not give a poo poo about repercussions.

Oh no! They're going to punish our national team!

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

Corgis love bread. And Puro


Vladimir Putin posted:

It just sounds like a huge multinational with too much power and not enough oversight. It's typical for big international corporations to do crazy poo poo but it sounds like FIFA got too big and thought themselves too untouchable.

Except on top of everything else, FIFA is ostensibly a non-profit.

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx

BI NOW GAY LATER posted:

They basically were untouchable. No one else would be willing to take them on because we do not give a poo poo about repercussions.

Oh no! They're going to punish our national team!

This whole problem with FIFA makes it sound like all it would take for a terror group to bring any Euro / SA country to its knees is throw bags over their star kickball players' heads and whisk them off somewhere.

A Winner is Jew
Feb 14, 2008

by exmarx

EmperorFritoBandito posted:

This whole problem with FIFA makes it sound like all it would take for a terror group to bring any Euro / SA country to its knees is throw bags over their star kickball players' heads and whisk them off somewhere.

Basically yeah, although soccer is so insanely popular with every Muslim country in the world that if they ever pulled a Munich on soccer players they could kiss all their recruiting and cash flow goodbye. It would be like pro-life terrorists in the US bombing the super bowl levels of idiocy for their own cause.

Total Meatlove
Jan 28, 2007

:japan:
Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

EmperorFritoBandito posted:

This whole problem with FIFA makes it sound like all it would take for a terror group to bring any Euro / SA country to its knees is throw bags over their star kickball players' heads and whisk them off somewhere.

The population at large are aware of and want reform and change within FIFA, but they're apathetic and resigned to corruption. Anyone who can affect actual change is isolated from the problem due to the way the FA's interact with and are independent of government.

Its like asking Bobby Jindal to pass a bill banning pseudo-amateur NCAA status, knowing it would mean the LSU Tigers missed four seasons of championships. It'd be political suicide.

Torrannor posted:


Then there is a usual snobbery, the classical European and South American soccer powers don't understand why upstarts like Qatar, who never even qualified for a World Cup, can host soccer's most important tournament.

This is bullshit. The 2002 World Cup was popular, even with the complications of time differences and South Koreas magical mystery refereeing tour. People really got behind 2010 and the first African tournament, even with the Vuvuzuelas. Australia's 2022 bid has popular backing, and none of those four countries would be favourites to qualify from a group stage, never mind win the thing. Qatar ranked bottom or next to bottom on every rating metric that FIFA judged bids on, and still won. They have a civilian population that could fit inside the Nou Camp, and 8/10 of the stadia are being constructed in the same city, which would have benefitted countries like Brazil, who got stuck building a car park in Manaus because those restrictions were set in stone when they bid.

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013

---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Total Meatlove posted:

This is bullshit. The 2002 World Cup was popular, even with the complications of time differences and South Koreas magical mystery refereeing tour. People really got behind 2010 and the first African tournament, even with the Vuvuzuelas. Australia's 2022 bid has popular backing, and none of those four countries would be favourites to qualify from a group stage, never mind win the thing. Qatar ranked bottom or next to bottom on every rating metric that FIFA judged bids on, and still won. They have a civilian population that could fit inside the Nou Camp, and 8/10 of the stadia are being constructed in the same city, which would have benefitted countries like Brazil, who got stuck building a car park in Manaus because those restrictions were set in stone when they bid.

It was probably a mistake to write "usual snobbery", but Qatar really can't be compared to the other nations you wrote about. South Korea managed to qualify for four World Cups in a row before hosting the tournament, Australia qualified for the last three World Cups and even South Africa qualified for two World Cups in a row. Qatar never, ever qualified for the World Cup. Granted, the others are never favorites to get out of the group stages, but at least they more or less deserve(d) the automatic qualification for said group stages that a host has, in contrast to Qatar.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon

A Winner is Jew posted:

Basically yeah, although soccer is so insanely popular with every Muslim country in the world that if they ever pulled a Munich on soccer players they could kiss all their recruiting and cash flow goodbye. It would be like pro-life terrorists in the US bombing the super bowl levels of idiocy for their own cause.

I thought Daesh didn't like football.

Bob James
Nov 15, 2005

by Lowtax
Ultra Carp
The World Cup finals should always be held at Wrigley Field.

BI NOW GAY LATER
Jan 17, 2008

So people stop asking, the "Bi" in my username is a reference to my love for the two greatest collegiate sports programs in the world, the Virginia Tech Hokies and the Marshall Thundering Herd.

Bob James posted:

The World Cup finals should always be held at Wrigley Field.

You mean a place we can't even hold football games at now?

Bob James
Nov 15, 2005

by Lowtax
Ultra Carp

BI NOW GAY LATER posted:

You mean a place we can't even hold football games at now?

We could go with a neutral location like Antarctica or the moon.

Adventure Pigeon
Nov 8, 2005

I am a master storyteller.
So does the red notice mean that Jack Warner fled after being released?

A Winner is Jew
Feb 14, 2008

by exmarx

Kurtofan posted:

I thought Daesh didn't like football.

They've played football Mayan style (with human heads) but they've killed kids for watching a game broadcasted from a western country so it's a mixed bag really.

Murderion
Oct 4, 2009

2019. New York is in ruins. The global economy is spiralling. Cyborgs rule over poisoned wastes.

The only time that's left is
FUN TIME

Charlie Mopps posted:

The president of the French football association, Noël Le Graët, said in a reaction to Blatter's resignation that 'Blatter is to blame for nothing'. :lol:

And Jérôme Champagne called Blatter a martyr for sacrificing himself for the greater good. :lol:

Saint Sepp, patron of sports administrators, rich men from poor countries, gout.

OniPanda
May 13, 2004

OH GOD BEAR





While not a sponsor who brought Blatter down, this does still call for a victory drink. It's like fuckin Christmas. The vote for a new president won't happen for a while, but it would be great if almost everyone running to replace Blatter gets snatched up too :getin:

Bob James
Nov 15, 2005

by Lowtax
Ultra Carp
If Blatter is imprisoned Oliver should have to buttchug Bud Light Lime.

A Winner is Jew
Feb 14, 2008

by exmarx

Bob James posted:

If Blatter is imprisoned Oliver should have to buttchug Bud Light Lime.

That would actually save his taste buds from untold misery though.

Bob James
Nov 15, 2005

by Lowtax
Ultra Carp

A Winner is Jew posted:

That would actually save his taste buds from untold misery though.

Yeah, but he would win all the Emmys if he performed it in front of a TV camera.

Northjayhawk
Mar 8, 2008

by exmarx
Some of Blazer's testimony while pleading guilty has been unsealed. Blazer outright admitted that he and several other FIFA executives accepted bribes for the 1998 (France) and 2010 world cups.

9-Volt Assault
Jan 27, 2007

Beter twee tetten in de hand dan tien op de vlucht.

Northjayhawk posted:

Some of Blazer's testimony while pleading guilty has been unsealed. Blazer outright admitted that he and several other FIFA executives accepted bribes for the 1998 (France) and 2010 world cups.

Also for several Gold Cup tournaments and tv rights for several tournaments.

But Blatter et al. are of course completely innocent and without knowledge of all this. :lol:

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon

Northjayhawk posted:

Some of Blazer's testimony while pleading guilty has been unsealed. Blazer outright admitted that he and several other FIFA executives accepted bribes for the 1998 (France) and 2010 world cups.

No wonder France was backing Blatter.

Northjayhawk
Mar 8, 2008

by exmarx
Once those guys are all extradited to the US, the conversation with each of them is going to be very similar:

"So, would you like to see sunlight in the next 30 years? What do you know about 2018 and 2022? Got anything on Blatter? Talk and maybe we can knock it down to 10 years"

DeathSandwich
Apr 24, 2008

I fucking hate puzzles.

Northjayhawk posted:

Once those guys are all extradited to the US, the conversation with each of them is going to be very similar:

"So, would you like to see sunlight in the next 30 years? What do you know about 2018 and 2022? Got anything on Blatter? Talk and maybe we can knock it down to 10 years"

"Oh, by the way we're giving this same offer to 3 of your co-horts and only whomever sqawks the fastest and the loudest gets the deal."

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A Winner is Jew
Feb 14, 2008

by exmarx
^^^ You son of a bitch ^^^ :argh:

Northjayhawk posted:

Once those guys are all extradited to the US, the conversation with each of them is going to be very similar:

"So, would you like to see sunlight in the next 30 years? What do you know about 2018 and 2022? Got anything on Blatter? Talk and maybe we can knock it down to 10 years"

P.S. It's also only the first three of you that talk that gets this deal or tells us something we don't already know so something else to discuss with your lawyer.

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