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quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
jeses was actually god for real, but he only revealed enough of his skills and motivations to control a bunch of hot twinks, and then he became a german warlord and slayed people by the boatload for their skulls

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quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
not sure if the secret is all that hard to figure out when the guy throws around stuff that boils down to messages like "the rich don't get to go to heaven"

Kanthulhu
Apr 8, 2009
NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!


(Dany shits in a field)

quakster posted:

not sure if the secret is all that hard to figure out when the guy throws around stuff that boils down to messages like "the rich don't get to go to heaven"

Look Soteriology up. It's an entire field of discussion about what makes some one be saved or not.

It's full of bullshit but there is a lot of it so it's not something simple.

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme

quakster posted:

jeses was actually god for real, but he only revealed enough of his skills and motivations to control a bunch of hot twinks, and then he became a german warlord and slayed people by the boatload for their skulls

also to america and found the mormons

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT
my favorite part is where Satan walks into heaven and makes a prop bet with God about that guy named Job

so apparently if you died and went to heaven any time in the last 5000 years, you may have seen Satan hanging around, bullshittin with the almighty, shootin dice or whatever god's into

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
This book’s message is highly important in the church today. For far too long, Christian women have been fooled into believing that choosing to date and marry an unsaved man will have no negative consequences. However, they are finding out that such is not the case. In fact, choosing to be in an unequally yoked relationship can and will have devastating consequences not only on the Christian woman who gets involved in such a relationship, but also on her children, and even on those around her in ways that no one may even notice. Sadly, the divorce rate in the church today is just as bad as it is in the secular world today, if not worse. Moreover, a lot of these divorces are caused by Christians choosing to date and marry unsaved people. I have written this book geared towards women, because I have seen so many of our sisters in Christ choosing to date and marry unsaved men, and the sad consequences of such a poor choice. That is why with the help of the Lord, and with lots of research, I have written this book to serve as a wake-up call and a sounding alarm to my sisters in Christ. The following is a chapter-by-chapter summary of the book:

Chapter 1 A Sad and Disturbing Trend
Basic introduction to the subject at hand, and goes over some of the most popular reasons why Christian women choose to date and marry unsaved men—and then explains why they are not good reasons.

Chapter 2 Who Pays the Price?

This chapter discusses how not only does a Christian woman pays the price for being in an unequally yoked relationship, but so do her children, Christian men, the church, and even the unsaved man she’s involved with.

Chapter 3The Gospel is Not Love Potion #9

This chapter discusses how some Christian women misuse the Gospel in order to get what they want—a husband. It also describes in graphic detail what Jesus went through in order to obtain our salvation, and why we should therefore not misuse what He paid for with His own blood.

Chapter 4 30 Pieces of Silver

This chapter gives a few illustrations that show how not waiting upon the Lord for a spouse will hinder your abilities to have a meaningful relationship. This chapter also shows how choosing to be with unsaved men will harm your relationship with the Lord.

Chapter 5 What You Can Expect From Your Morganatic Marriage

This chapter shows a typical pattern that a Christian woman follows when romantically involved with an unsaved man, and what she can expect to happen due to her willful disobedience of God’s Word.

Chapter 6 Suffer the Little Children

This chapter shows how choosing the wrong man can affect a Christian woman’s children in so many ways, and how they will suffer for it.

Chapter 7The Arguments That the Christian Woman May Give

This chapter goes over the arguments Christian women may give in order to justify dating and marrying unsaved men. Each argument is countered with God’s Word.

Chapter 8 “So What Do I Do Now?”

This chapter helps to show a Christian woman what she must do, depending on her current situation—whether she is married to an unsaved man, or if she’s going through a breakup—and how to carry on from there.

Chapter 9 Now for the Good News!

This chapter helps the Christian woman to understand that God still loves us, God forgives us, God heals us, God restores us, and God gives us another chance.

Chapter 10 What You Need to Understand

This chapter discusses what marriage is, what its purpose is, and the fact that God designed marriage and the family. This chapter also discusses the roles that a husband and wife plays in the family. It talks about what a wife is and isn’t, and what a husband is and isn’t. It also talks abouta woman’s role as a mother.

Chapter 11 What is Love?

This chapter goes over the true definition of love, as defined in 1 Corinthians 13. It dissects each verse, and goes over how it should apply to the Christian woman and in her marriage.

Chapter 12 The Virtuous Wife

This chapter goes over what it means to be a “Proverbs 31 woman.”

Chapter 13 Make Yourself a Worthy Target

This chapter encourages a Christian woman to know who she is in Christ, and what she should strive to be, in order to become the kind of woman that God wants to bless her future husband with.

Chapter 14 The Man Hunt

This chapter gives a Christian woman some helpful ideas on how to find herself a husband—or rather how to be found by him—and what she should and should not look for in a man. It also discusses how a Christian woman should treat her man once she has him.

Chapter 15 Get the Order Right

This chapter shows the Christian woman the rightful order that God, her husband, children, ministry, and herself should participate in her life.

Chapter 16 Pass the Wisdom Down

This chapter explains the importance of passing the lessons learned in this book to the next generations—boys and girls—as well as to the young women in the church.

Chapter 17 Never Turn Away From Jesus

This chapter shows the importance of keeping Jesus at the center of your life.

A Little Something Inspirational

This closes out the book with a little bit of poetry—just a little something to inspire the sisters in Christ.

I am confident that the message of this book will do wonders to encourage single Christian women to make better decisions for their lives regarding relationships and marriage. It will also help expose Satan’s plan for Christian women, as well as for the family. With your help, we can make this book happen, and this time, in a way that will be more acceptable to women. Please pledge whatever you can to help make this book a reality.

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme
The mra cultists bible

Yoke my nuts

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme
dat booty :eyepop:

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

Animal-Mother posted:

my favorite part is where Satan walks into heaven and makes a prop bet with God about that guy named Job

so apparently if you died and went to heaven any time in the last 5000 years, you may have seen Satan hanging around, bullshittin with the almighty, shootin dice or whatever god's into

satan's original role was something like that of a lawyer who would try to argue that each soul was not worthy of entering heaven, and another angel would try to argue why it is

this wasn't seen as evil, just god's way of giving each person a fair shake

quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
if you quit, you lose all unsaved women in the process. confirm?

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuq-k_YvEyA

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme
garbage movie for garbage people

5er
Jun 1, 2000



Conforms to thread title.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Mr. Brewer has stated his case perfectly. He is absolutely right that the militant homosexual movement (I call them the "gay gestapo") are as totalitarian as the Nazis, who would destroy anyone or anything that stands in their way. I can only hope and pray that the Supreme Court will realize the gravity of their decision on "gay marriage", and not fall prey to the threats and pressure from the homosexual activists. If the SCOTUS does make gay marriage legal in the entire country, I will be one of many who will stand up to this un-Godly legislation. The Supreme Court is NOT the Supreme Being.

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot

Volume posted:

Mr. Brewer has stated his case perfectly. He is absolutely right that the militant homosexual movement (I call them the "gay gestapo") are as totalitarian as the Nazis, who would destroy anyone or anything that stands in their way. I can only hope and pray that the Supreme Court will realize the gravity of their decision on "gay marriage", and not fall prey to the threats and pressure from the homosexual activists. If the SCOTUS does make gay marriage legal in the entire country, I will be one of many who will stand up to this un-Godly legislation. The Supreme Court is NOT the Supreme Being.

:allears:

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFkeKKszXTw

Kanthulhu
Apr 8, 2009
NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!


(Dany shits in a field)

That's loving amazing.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
According to the Christian THEORY (since I don't need to be certain of anything to have a theory, I just need some evidence that agrees with my conclusions) God has interacted with our reality (not meant to be an exhaustive list):

1) The universe had a cause
2) Life exists
3) Complex biological systems exist
4) The ancient Jews interacted with God quite a bit
5) Jesus came, ministered, performed miracles, died, and was resurrected
6) Miracles still happen
7) There is a god-shaped hole in everyone's psychology
8) The "inter-witness of the Holy Spirit" (there, that should get all the WLC fans going)

Of course you will pick apart each one as "you can't prove..." and "baseless assertions". I don't have to prove them, just like evolution, the mountain of evidence I have points to a probabilistic conclusion that the God of Christianity exists. Until I am presented with a theory that answers all of these questions with a different answer, that is what I choose to believe.

Despite the vitriol that is sure to come, this is not an unreasonable THEORY--much like believing in evolutionary theory is not unreasonable.

geeves
Sep 16, 2004

That there is only one god. Even though their god admitted that other gods exist.

ChlorophileAddict
Jun 15, 2015

935 posted:

I like the loophole that you can spend your entire life doing unspeakably horrible things to innocent people (medical experiments on children with no anesthesia, committing genocide and murdering millions of people, etc etc) and on your deathbed if you say you're sorry and accept Jesus into your heart and really really mean it, you get a free pass to heaven.

If Mother Theresa had even a doubt then she's being raped and torn apart by literal fire monsters for ETERNITY

actually she had quite a lot

quote:

A book of letters written by Mother Teresa of Calcutta reveals for the first time that she was deeply tormented about her faith and suffered periods of doubt about God.

"Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear," she wrote the Rev. Michael van der Peet in September 1979.

Due out on September 4, "Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light" is a collection of letters written to colleagues and superiors over 66 years. In the United States it will be published by Doubleday, an imprint of Random House, which is owned by German media group Bertelsmann.

The ethnic Albanian Roman Catholic nun, who dedicated her life to poor, sick and dying in India, died in 1997 aged 87.

Mother Teresa had wanted all her letters destroyed, but the Vatican ordered they be preserved as potential relics of a saint, a spokeswoman for Doubleday said.

Mother Teresa has been beatified but not yet canonized.

Time magazine, which has first serial rights, published excerpts on its Web site.

"I spoke as if my very heart was in love with God -- tender, personal love," she wrote to one adviser. "If you were (there), you would have said, 'What hypocrisy.'"

The book was compiled and edited by the Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk, a proponent of her sainthood and senior member of the Missionaries of Charity order that she founded.

The letters likely would do little to affect her cause for sainthood as church history is dotted with saints who have been tormented about their faith.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2007/08/24/us-teresa-letters-idUSN2435506020070824

the interesting question being: if these are the letters we get to see, what's in those they aren't showing?

ChlorophileAddict
Jun 15, 2015
they also believe that God can't see anal sex because it's not mentioned in the bible. Therefore this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfRtkCGE40A

quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Volume posted:

1) The universe had a cause
"god was horny"

Volume posted:

2) Life exists
"he came"

Volume posted:

3) Complex biological systems exist
"a lot"

Volume posted:

4) The ancient Jews interacted with God quite a bit
"pee pee poo poo"

Volume posted:

5) Jesus came, ministered, performed miracles, died, and was resurrected
"i sure came a lot"

Volume posted:

6) Miracles still happen
"god also farts sometimes"

Volume posted:

7) There is a god-shaped hole in everyone's psychology
"cum is made out of god"

Volume posted:

8) The "inter-witness of the Holy Spirit" (there, that should get all the WLC fans going)
what the gently caress is wlc

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme

ChlorophileAddict posted:

they also believe that God can't see anal sex because it's not mentioned in the bible. Therefore this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfRtkCGE40A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxKA4JBesB4

Grand Prize Winner
Feb 19, 2007


Volume posted:

Seeing a slut with her clothes off ought to make you mad. I love the beauty of the Hawaiian islands, but I loathe and hate the whorish hula dancers. They have bad character, thinking it is OK to get naked and entice men with their bodies. It is HEATHENDOM!!! If that is funny to you, you have a wicked heart!

That's why, even though I love to play Hawaiian songs on the steel guitar, I could never play steel guitar at such spiritually bankrupt events where sluts do the hula. Sexual immorality may seem normal for the unregenerate man, but as believers God expects us to be crucified with Jesus Christ. I AM CRUCIFIED WITH CHRIST, NEVERTHELESS I LIVE; YET NOT I, BUT CHRIST LIVETH IN ME (Galatians 2:20). I hate evil as God told me to in Psalms 97:10! I hate the lewd sluts and ungodly women who gyrate their hips for lustful men. The average person doesn't care or see any harm in such lewdness, but God condemns lust, filthy-mindedness, uncleanliness and sexual lasciviousness (Matthew 5:28; Colossians 3:5-6). Hawaii is a moral cesspool of iniquity!

How sad it is to think of the multitudes who have gone to their graves in this beautiful island and never knew there was a hell.
- Mark Twain

Andro Dunos
Dec 11, 2003

ChlorophileAddict posted:

actually she had quite a lot

She also died with millions of dollars in various bank accounts (over $3 million per year taken in donations from Germany alone) that she never spent on treatment for sick people because she thought it was spiritually better for them to suffer and die in agony in emulation of Jesus. During the period 1952-1991 there were over 29,000 deaths of "patients" at her mission in Calcutta. She was a delusional sadist.

ChlorophileAddict
Jun 15, 2015

Andro Dunos posted:

She also died with millions of dollars in various bank accounts (over $3 million per year taken in donations from Germany alone) that she never spent on treatment for sick people because she thought it was spiritually better for them to suffer and die in agony in emulation of Jesus. During the period 1952-1991 there were over 29,000 deaths of "patients" at her mission in Calcutta. She was a delusional sadist.

yes she did. that woman was f'ed in the head

quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
christianity in general is hosed

jebes: "be excellent to one another"
religious leaders: "be absolute trash at all times? sure thing, boss"

Lucy Heartfilia
May 31, 2012


quakster posted:

christianity in general is hosed

jebes: "be excellent to one another"
religious leaders: "be absolute trash at all times? sure thing, boss"

more like:
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
religious leaders: "be absolute trash at all times? sure thing, boss"

lmao

quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

quakster posted:

judas was a beta & a sjw

Fargin Icehole
Feb 19, 2011

Pet me.
it's all about the money man

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
To all those who have aids, I would like to wish you a horrible time in Hell, say hi to Judas and Satan while your down there.

Meskhenet
Apr 26, 2010

It's ok,
North Korea found a cure for that.
(it was under the urinal).

(and is as real as hell too)

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Lucy Heartfilia posted:

more like:
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
jebes: "be excellent to one another"
religious leaders: "be absolute trash at all times? sure thing, boss"

lmao

Jesus was more vague and self-contradictory than he was anything else. Christians have managed to portray him as some sort of noble and caring character, when if you actually read the texts from an objective point of view then for every good section attributed to Jesus there is one that is insane, cultish, obtuse, and/or sadistic.

Kilmers Elbow
Jun 15, 2012

quakster posted:


what the gently caress is wlc

William Lane Craig - Genocide apologist extraordinaire....

quote:

So whom does God wrong in commanding the destruction of the Canaanites? Not the Canaanite adults, for they were corrupt and deserving of judgement. Not the children, for they inherit eternal life. So who is wronged? Ironically, I think the most difficult part of this whole debate is the apparent wrong done to the Israeli soldiers themselves. Can you imagine what it would be like to have to break into some house and kill a terrified woman and her children? The brutalizing effect on these Israeli soldiers is disturbing.

http://www.reasonablefaith.org/slaughter-of-the-canaanites

Genesplicer
Oct 19, 2002

I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!

Total Clam

Volume posted:

Mr. Brewer has stated his case perfectly. He is absolutely right that the militant homosexual movement (I call them the "gay gestapo") are as totalitarian as the Nazis, who would destroy anyone or anything that stands in their way. I can only hope and pray that the Supreme Court will realize the gravity of their decision on "gay marriage", and not fall prey to the threats and pressure from the homosexual activists. If the SCOTUS does make gay marriage legal in the entire country, I will be one of many who will stand up to this un-Godly legislation. The Supreme Court is NOT the Supreme Being.

You are right, they are not the same thing. One is real, one is fiction.

Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
i was reading 'zealot', the book about jesus by a muslim guy that conservatives were angry about a couple years ago. an interesting point he made was that jesus existed during a period of great messianic (ie revolutionary anti-roman) fervor and that the gospel bible stories were written down not only after his life but after The Great Rebellion (https://en.wikipedia.org/?title=First_Jewish%E2%80%93Roman_War) in 66 AD. During this war the isrealites were totally crushed, which is why Jesus was retconned to be a hippie instead of a militant anti-roman zealot.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Ocean Book posted:

i was reading 'zealot', the book about jesus by a muslim guy that conservatives were angry about a couple years ago. an interesting point he made was that jesus existed during a period of great messianic (ie revolutionary anti-roman) fervor and that the gospel bible stories were written down not only after his life but after The Great Rebellion (https://en.wikipedia.org/?title=First_Jewish%E2%80%93Roman_War) in 66 AD. During this war the isrealites were totally crushed, which is why Jesus was retconned to be a hippie instead of a militant anti-roman zealot.

It's interesting to compare the Christian apocrypha to the stories of Jesus in the Koran. The Infancy Gospel of Thomas was clearly a major influence on Muhammad, for instance.

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EndOfTheWorld
Jul 22, 2004

I'm an excellent critic! I automatically know when someone's done a bad job. Before you ask, yes it's a mixed blessing.
Cybernetic Crumb
You are seated in your study. A mounted twelve-point buck's head hangs over the dark leather chair in which you sit, perusing the latest issue of the National Review. As you take the last good pull from your maduro cigar, you hear a hesitant knock on the door followed by a request to enter. It's your son. Not your first born, the one who's finishing his second year at Georgetown Law. No, the younger one. The quiet one.

Your son wants to tell you something. You pray he's flunked Chemistry or, let it be so Almighty God, knocked up that fat girl he plays magic cards with. But no, it's what you've suspected since he asked to be Sailor Moon for Halloween when he was ten.

Your son is gay.

If you want to fly into a rage, call your son a pervert and disinherit him while still claiming the moral high ground, turn to 1 Corithians 6:9-10


If you want to confront your prejudice, and accept your son for who he is, and love your son as Christ loved you, turn to Matthew 8:5

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