Ask a Cop - All Cops Are Beannieson - The Something Awful Forums

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Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

If I were a cop I'd just cite everyone with any bumper stickers. poo poo's gaudy and they deserve to be punished for it

# ? Jun 18, 2015 16:16

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# ? May 24, 2024 02:58

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

I don't know but I always cite anyone with Obama stickers. They need to do their part to plug the billion dollar deficits driven up by their party.

Oh my god your cognitive dissonance would be adorable if you weren't ruining America

Tell me about the Laffer curve Shep

# ? Jun 18, 2015 16:58

Untagged: Mar 29, 2004; Hey, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshiping us?

Around here it's WVU and COEXIST. There is always something wrong with the car these are displayed on. They should come with a warning at time of purchase.

# ? Jun 18, 2015 17:01

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

does being a k9 cop own or what

# ? Jun 18, 2015 17:40

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Is that a serious question? Of course, dogges are the best there is.

# ? Jun 18, 2015 17:51

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

I don't know but I always cite anyone with Obama stickers. They need to do their part to plug the billion dollar deficits driven up by their party.

# ? Jun 18, 2015 23:17

The Shep: Jan 10, 2007; If found, please return this poster to GIP. His mothers are very worried and miss him very much.

I meant the state deficit unles syou think traffic ciation fines go to the federal government you idoit

Also, Reagan had the cold war and Clinton had a republican congress

why does the republican national debt line include obama's?

# ? Jun 19, 2015 00:09

Vahakyla: May 3, 2013

We need to be fiscally responsible by cutting Shep's salary, upping his hours and making sure he doesn't mooch off of any pensions. In addition we should bust his union.

# ? Jun 19, 2015 00:15

The Shep: Jan 10, 2007; If found, please return this poster to GIP. His mothers are very worried and miss him very much.

Vahakyla posted:

We need to be fiscally responsible by cutting Shep's salary, upping his hours and making sure he doesn't mooch off of any pensions. In addition we should bust his union.

What does any of this have to do with the federal debt? I pay my taxes, which are a lot higher than any of yours (except maybe Whip).

# ? Jun 19, 2015 00:16

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

You think traffic ciation fines go to the federal government you idoit

# ? Jun 19, 2015 00:27

Captain Bravo: Feb 16, 2011; An Emergency Shitpost
has been deployed...

...but experts warn it is
just a drop in the ocean.

Vahakyla posted:

We need to be fiscally responsible by cutting Shep's salary, upping his hours and making sure he doesn't mooch off of any pensions. In addition we should bust his union.

Question, for the cops: How can we make this happen? :v:

# ? Jun 19, 2015 03:23

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Captain Bravo posted:

Question, for the cops: How can we make this happen?

Vote for Koch Brothers they will merge capitalism and government and enshrine a glorious meritocracy which will benefit the truly deserving

# ? Jun 19, 2015 03:26

Captain Bravo: Feb 16, 2011; An Emergency Shitpost
has been deployed...

...but experts warn it is
just a drop in the ocean.

But if they don't have the nomination, then they'd be third-party candidates. I can't just throw my vote away like that!

# ? Jun 19, 2015 03:29

Reign Of Pain: May 1, 2005; Nap Ghost

Those god damned loving cunts just recommended to cut 838 million from our budget. 5th year in a row of budget cuts. It probably also means that I'll have to go back to support since I can't stay on a detail for more than 3 years in a row. Guess they'll just have to keep that IT security team staffed at at 30%.

Putting money into the IRS budget gets back a lot more than what was put in. Some say it's 1:6 and some say it's 1:4, some tea party buttfucks says it 1:2 - but the point is they all agree the return is greater so I don't know why they've done this 5 years in a row.

THANKS LOIS LERNER(whore)

# ? Jun 19, 2015 03:49

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Reign Of Pain posted:

Those god damned loving cunts just recommended to cut 838 million from our budget. 5th year in a row of budget cuts. It probably also means that I'll have to go back to support since I can't stay on a detail for more than 3 years in a row. Guess they'll just have to keep that IT security team staffed at at 30%.

Putting money into the IRS budget gets back a lot more than what was put in. Some say it's 1:6 and some say it's 1:4, some tea party buttfucks says it 1:2 - but the point is they all agree the return is greater so I don't know why they've done this 5 years in a row.

Well, I was about to ask if y'all were hiring, but...

Real talk though, it annoys me how no one disputes the importance, utility, or rate-of-return on the IRS, but every politician is willing for slash their budget because people hate taxes. It's like, "Garbage Men: They smell bad and should be shunned."

# ? Jun 19, 2015 03:55

Ceiling fan: Dec 26, 2003; I really like ceilings.; Dead Man’s Band

So, I'm taking a look at this creep (the little one)

and I'm reading "As soon as an approximately pointy object is in reach, I'm going to use it to kill you." If I were to come across someone like this, and I were lucky enough to be carrying a gun, I'd probably shoot him.
So my question is can you really control someone like this? In just handcuffs? I was expecting at least arm and leg shackles. Are these guys being kind of reckless?

Also :lol:

that the most intimidating guy in the picture is the only one who didn't make it his primary professional goal.

# ? Jun 19, 2015 03:58

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Dead Reckoning posted:

the IRS... ...It's like, "Garbage Men: They smell bad and should be shunned."

You've given me a lot to think about.

# ? Jun 19, 2015 03:58

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

Ceiling fan posted:

So, I'm taking a look at this creep (the little one)

and I'm reading "As soon as an approximately pointy object is in reach, I'm going to use it to kill you." If I were to come across someone like this, and I were lucky enough to be carrying a gun, I'd probably shoot him.
So my question is can you really control someone like this? In just handcuffs? I was expecting at least arm and leg shackles. Are these guys being kind of reckless?

Also that the most intimidating guy in the picture is the only one who didn't make it his primary professional goal.

Handcuffs hurt. A lot. And when used properly they do a great job of restraining someone. The only time you really use shackles is if someone is actively combative. Everything I've read suggests this guy has been completely compliant with the cops since he's been caught.

# ? Jun 19, 2015 04:02

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

Ceiling fan posted:

So, I'm taking a look at this creep (the little one)

and I'm reading "As soon as an approximately pointy object is in reach, I'm going to use it to kill you." If I were to come across someone like this, and I were lucky enough to be carrying a gun, I'd probably shoot him.
So my question is can you really control someone like this? In just handcuffs? I was expecting at least arm and leg shackles. Are these guys being kind of reckless?

Also that the most intimidating guy in the picture is the only one who didn't make it his primary professional goal.

that dipshit looks like he weighs 120 pounds soaking wet, bad things are going to happen to him in prison

# ? Jun 19, 2015 04:18

Branis: Apr 14, 2006

He could be leg ironed for all we know. If I'm taking a prisoner outdoors they get leg irons and a belly chain if front cuffed

# ? Jun 19, 2015 04:19

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Rad Lieutenant posted:

You've given me a lot to think about.

You're the civil servant unfairly maligned because of his job in this analogy.

I think I might really enjoy doing tax enforcement, because I spent a not-inconsiderable portion of my Air Force career wishing I could fine people or put them in jail for loving up the paperwork.

# ? Jun 19, 2015 04:55

Reign Of Pain: May 1, 2005; Nap Ghost

Ceiling fan posted:

So, I'm taking a look at this creep (the little one)

and I'm reading "As soon as an approximately pointy object is in reach, I'm going to use it to kill you." If I were to come across someone like this, and I were lucky enough to be carrying a gun, I'd probably shoot him.
So my question is can you really control someone like this? In just handcuffs? I was expecting at least arm and leg shackles. Are these guys being kind of reckless?

Also that the most intimidating guy in the picture is the only one who didn't make it his primary professional goal.

Fox news was saying that it was an obvious disguise with a wig and a fake nose. I was pretty sure that it wasn't. Dumb enough to sport that haircut like that and missing some chromosomes.....I went to school with a dozen fuckers like that in poughkeepsie

# ? Jun 19, 2015 04:58

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

dude looks like a extra from witcher 3

# ? Jun 19, 2015 05:00

Reign Of Pain: May 1, 2005; Nap Ghost

Looks like Vic Mackey scores another high profile bust.

# ? Jun 19, 2015 05:21

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

ah yes the tittie twister compliance hold

# ? Jun 19, 2015 05:52

The Shep: Jan 10, 2007; If found, please return this poster to GIP. His mothers are very worried and miss him very much.

Reign Of Pain posted:

Looks like Hank Schrader scores another high profile bust.

# ? Jun 19, 2015 06:02

Ceiling fan: Dec 26, 2003; I really like ceilings.; Dead Man’s Band

Whip Slagcheek posted:

Handcuffs hurt. A lot. And when used properly they do a great job of restraining someone.

So my girlfriend isn't using them properly. I thought so. I suppose a demonstration is in order. Do you have any advice on that?

# ? Jun 19, 2015 06:22

Melthir: Dec 29, 2009; I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.

Double lock and check immediate grab area. Then go enjoy a sandwich while watching action movie of your choice. Happy fathers day?

# ? Jun 19, 2015 06:33

The Shep: Jan 10, 2007; If found, please return this poster to GIP. His mothers are very worried and miss him very much.

Ceiling fan posted:

So my girlfriend isn't using them properly. I thought so. I suppose a demonstration is in order. Do you have any advice on that?

There was already some advice posted here for you to try:

bitcoin bastard posted:

the tittie twister compliance hold

# ? Jun 19, 2015 06:33

Branis: Apr 14, 2006

Ceiling fan posted:

So my girlfriend isn't using them properly. I thought so. I suppose a demonstration is in order. Do you have any advice on that?

You might have an old pair of hand cuffs. They do tend to stretch out a bit with use.

# ? Jun 19, 2015 06:58

Untagged: Mar 29, 2004; Hey, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshiping us?

Always carry a pair of fuzzy handcuffs in your cruiser.

# ? Jun 19, 2015 07:03

Bernard McFacknutah: Nov 13, 2009

Use ridged cuffs and then drive him about with your left hand on the grip of the cuffs and your right hand gripping his pathetic sparrow arm with your thumb pressed in to the ulnar nerve. If he is being particularly tetchy then right hand goes to the back of the neck and you start fingering his mandibular nerve like the first time you got your hand down a girls kecks.

Never understood why Americops don't seem to use rigid cuffs, they are loving fantastic and you can apply mind-blowing amounts of pain without lasting injury or outwardly obvious aggression.

# ? Jun 19, 2015 11:40

Hezzy: Dec 4, 2004; Pillbug

Bernard McFacknutah posted:

Use ridged cuffs and then drive him about with your left hand on the grip of the cuffs and your right hand gripping his pathetic sparrow arm with your thumb pressed in to the ulnar nerve. If he is being particularly tetchy then right hand goes to the back of the neck and you start fingering his mandibular nerve like the first time you got your hand down a girls kecks.

Never understood why Americops don't seem to use rigid cuffs, they are loving fantastic and you can apply mind-blowing amounts of pain without lasting injury or outwardly obvious aggression.

rear stack for life

# ? Jun 19, 2015 13:41

Branis: Apr 14, 2006

how are we gonna fit a pair of rigid cuffs on our belt with all the rest of the poo poo we carry? Plus until recently we could just kill people that got ornery with us, now people scream about goddamn civil rights when we do that.

# ? Jun 19, 2015 15:41

Bernard McFacknutah: Nov 13, 2009

Branis posted:

how are we gonna fit a pair of rigid cuffs on our belt with all the rest of the poo poo we carry? Plus until recently we could just kill people that got ornery with us, now people scream about goddamn civil rights when we do that.

Don't carry a gun?

# ? Jun 19, 2015 16:13