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Phone
Jul 30, 2005

親子丼をほしい。

PostNouveau posted:

At least IndyCars are on road tracks most of the time. Why the gently caress, if NASCAR is just racing ovals, would they want the cars to be as alike to each other as possible? How drunk do I have to be to enjoy that?

NASCARs drive on road courses, they even have a race at Watkins Glen. Whenever it's a road course race, it's a god drat clusterfuck and it's magical.

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Crowsbeak
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth
Lipstick Apathy

Klaus88 posted:

A black man is calling for the resurrection of the confederacy. In order to unseat another black man from the White House. I don't think my brain can process th-

:psyboom:

What were we talking about again, hey whats tha-

:psyboom:

The way I deal with pastor manning is just to play the uncle ruckus theme when watching him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt0CpG6CjZ4

Mr Interweb
Aug 25, 2004

FuzzySkinner posted:

e: I can recall Kevin Sorbo himself talking highly of the scenes from "Fatal Attraction" IIRC, and even doing a mock "Dear Penthouse" during a segment of "I love the 80's". But my knowledge of his career is not as well known.

Hercules: TLJ had a ton of erotic stuff going on. Hell, every episode was basically Herc shagging some random hot chick (or having said random chick wanting to shag him). Certainly wasn't a show that you would think someone with puritanical Christian values would want to work on.

It's a real shame that he turned out to be such a shitbag in real life. The complete opposite of the character he played. He was my favorite T.V. star growing up. :(

But then again, the show got phenomenally lovely after the 4th season, so I guess it's no surprise that he would become lovely too. :v:

ToastyPotato
Jun 23, 2005

CONVICTED OF DISPLAYING HIS PEANUTS IN PUBLIC

Phone posted:

NASCARs drive on road courses, they even have a race at Watkins Glen. Whenever it's a road course race, it's a god drat clusterfuck and it's magical.

Why the hell is that not something I have ever seen or heard of until now? Anytime I have ever seen a race on TV it was on an oval track, and I even used to actually watch semi-regularly when I was a kid.

StandardVC10
Feb 6, 2007

This avatar now 50% more dark mode compliant

ToastyPotato posted:

Why the hell is that not something I have ever seen or heard of until now? Anytime I have ever seen a race on TV it was on an oval track, and I even used to actually watch semi-regularly when I was a kid.

They've only got like three road courses compared to a whole big number of ovals (look, ask somebody else, NASCAR is not my bag, I follow sports car racing mostly.)

Mr Interweb
Aug 25, 2004

Actually, in one of the later seasons of Hercules, the plot revolved around the appearance of the "true" God, with the angel Michael making an appearance as well. I wonder if Sorbo had anything to do with that... :tinfoil:

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJZyMoJ_y5Y

By the way, here's how Kevin Sorbo's wife sounds. This is an older clip.

She's literally bitching out a grieving parent who's kid was shot by that MRA shooter over in California. Then proceeds to blame television for all of the problems over it.

"I don't want to take him to task over it...". Then don't. Seriously, shut the gently caress up and leave the man alone.

Pope Guilty
Nov 6, 2006

The human animal is a beautiful and terrible creature, capable of limitless compassion and unfathomable cruelty.

Epic High Five posted:

So drunk that you only become aware of a race taking place when the cars pass by at a billion decibels, and also so drunk that sunburn becomes something you're totally unconcerned with until the next day

Somebody was telling me about the Snake Pit inside the Indy 500 track, back in the 70s when people would get blackout drunk and start fights and get sunbruned and heatstroked. I can barely believe what used to go on.

Pharmaskittle
Dec 17, 2007

arf arf put the money in the fuckin bag

Honestly that sounds a lot more fun than watching regular nascar

Convex
Aug 19, 2010

Intel&Sebastian posted:

I bet Fox sent him an appearance fee on pure reflex.

The Onion was there first, again

Black Man In Support Of Confederate Flag Triples His Media Appearance Rates

Crowsbeak
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth
Lipstick Apathy
Someone has done some great editing of manning videos with Uncle Ruckus (from the boondocks) audio.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VYGoROCbbs

Crowsbeak fucked around with this message at 08:40 on Jul 3, 2015

Dr. Faustus
Feb 18, 2001

Grimey Drawer
I thought season one of "Andromeda" was pretty cool, because it contained at least a nod to some "hard science" (think: time dilation around a black hole a la Interstellar as a major plot setup) but goddamn it went to poo poo fast. SO fast. (Yes, I know it's not legitimate 'hard science,' it's just a little less techno-babbly than sci-fi fantasy... a little.)

That was a long time ago, though. Sorbo being a nut stopped surprising me when I saw what happened to (pick your favorites):
Victoria Jackson
Jim Carrey
Dennis Miller
Mel Gibson
Rob Schneider (ok he was poo poo already but not RMW poo poo, was he?)
Chuck Norris
Bill Cosby
Fred Thompson
Jessie Ventura (WTF?) (I mean, WTC!!!)

Hey let's play a game, which other celebrities lost their drat minds after the US elected a black man to POTUS?

If you like, we can certainly move this derail-ish discussion to the Chat Thread or just drop it.

Dennis Miller is the guy who strikes me as, "What the gently caress, Dennis Miller? You used to be cool!"

Spark That Bled
Jan 29, 2010

Hungry for responsibility. Horny for teamwork.

And ready to
BUST A NUT
up in this job!

Skills include:
EIGHT-FOOT VERTICAL LEAP
David Zucker. Remember An American Carol?

Happy_Misanthrope
Aug 3, 2007

"I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

Spark That Bled posted:

David Zucker. Remember An American Carol?

No one does.

Killer robot
Sep 6, 2010

I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it!
Pillbug

Dr. Faustus posted:


Dennis Miller is the guy who strikes me as, "What the gently caress, Dennis Miller? You used to be cool!"

Once I went and listened though the rants from his show in the 1990s and it was interesting hearing his slide into further partisanship.

N. Senada
May 17, 2011

My kidneys are busted
Guess what's on youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ppq72QUS4g

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc

:stare:

VideoTapir
Oct 18, 2005

He'll tire eventually.

FuzzySkinner posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJZyMoJ_y5Y

By the way, here's how Kevin Sorbo's wife sounds. This is an older clip.

She's literally bitching out a grieving parent who's kid was shot by that MRA shooter over in California. Then proceeds to blame television for all of the problems over it.

"I don't want to take him to task over it...". Then don't. Seriously, shut the gently caress up and leave the man alone.

If you "started holding churches accountable" she would have a loving stroke.

VideoTapir
Oct 18, 2005

He'll tire eventually.

What happened to Bill Cosby (besides it coming out that he was a rapist)? You know that email/facebook forward was fake right?

esto es malo
Aug 3, 2006

Don't want to end up a cartoon

In a cartoon graveyard

VideoTapir posted:

What happened to Bill Cosby (besides it coming out that he was a rapist)? You know that email/facebook forward was fake right?

hes a huge apologist for the systemic problems in the criminal justice/law enforcement communities, insisting if only blacks would pick up their pants they could achieve greatness

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007


Yes Yes Yes

We should do a goontube screening

UFOTacoMan
Sep 22, 2005

Thanks easter bunny!
bok bok!

Whoa. I did not realize this movie had a Michael Moore character that appears throughout. I thought that would be like a small joke at the beginning or something.

bpower
Feb 19, 2011
I clicked a random spot and seen Frazier as Gen Patton slapping the Micheal Moore character in the face.

Mantis42
Jul 26, 2010

UFOTofuTacoCat posted:

Whoa. I did not realize this movie had a Michael Moore character that appears throughout. I thought that would be like a small joke at the beginning or something.

He's the Ebenezer Scrooge of the plot.

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:

bpower posted:

I clicked a random spot and seen Frazier as Gen Patton slapping the Micheal Moore character in the face.

I just saw JFK do the same thing. Running gag detected. :dance:

bpower
Feb 19, 2011

Mister Macys posted:

I just saw JFK do the same thing. Running gag detected. :dance:

poo poo, I have to watch it now.

edit \/\/ welp, that settles it.

Spark That Bled
Jan 29, 2010

Hungry for responsibility. Horny for teamwork.

And ready to
BUST A NUT
up in this job!

Skills include:
EIGHT-FOOT VERTICAL LEAP

Mister Macys posted:

I just saw JFK do the same thing. Running gag detected. :dance:

Even Bill O' Reilly gets in on it.

Goatman Sacks
Apr 4, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
I made a bingo card. Please use it if you dare.

marathon Stairmaster sesh
Apr 28, 2009

ALL HAIL CEO NUGGET
1988-PRESENT

A good comparison of An American Carol is that the people who made it never read the original story and based the plot around the Flintstones parody. Only they made everyone unlikable to the point where I didn't even notice that the movie lacks a Ghost of Christmas Present character. This was made by the same man who made The Naked Gun movies; what the gently caress happened to him?

RareAcumen
Dec 28, 2012




joeburz posted:

hes a huge apologist for the systemic problems in the criminal justice/law enforcement communities, insisting if only blacks would pick up their pants they could achieve greatness

Didn't he only start going crazy like that after [his son got killed by a gang?] Not sure if that's at all true or not.

Martin Random
Jul 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

bpower posted:

I clicked a random spot and seen Frazier as Gen Patton slapping the Micheal Moore character in the face.

Michael Moore got transported to a victorious slaveholding south, everything is idyllic, the economy is booming because of cheap labor, and a bunch of actors including gary coleman go through a painful scene where they essplain how massa so good to them... then all the slaves in the field start singing hava negila...

This poo poo is so loving over the line.

Spark That Bled
Jan 29, 2010

Hungry for responsibility. Horny for teamwork.

And ready to
BUST A NUT
up in this job!

Skills include:
EIGHT-FOOT VERTICAL LEAP
One part of me wants to watch this lovely movie. Another part knows that if I do, I would end up blowing a hole in my forehead and gushing out blood ala Rejected.

Jenny Angel
Oct 24, 2010

Out of Control
Hard to Regulate
Anything Goes!
Lipstick Apathy

Goatman Sacks posted:

I made a bingo card. Please use it if you dare.



What's his beef with Savage? Infighting is always lovely

Crowsbeak
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth
Lipstick Apathy
Here is what the American Conservative had to say about "American Carol" Along weith a "Patriotic American Festival it was screened at.


American Conservative posted:

Film Rights
By Michael Brendan Dougherty • October 20, 2008

The American Film Renaissance, held in Washington D.C. the first week of October, billed itself as “the only film festival in the world devoted to celebrating America’s timeless traditional values like freedom, rugged individualism, and the triumph of the human spirit.” In shorthand, AFR is a conservative film festival. During its first wine-and-cheese afterparty, one Washington lawyer aptly reinterpreted AFR’s mission statement, saying he hoped the festival “will get Hollywood to go back to the pro-American films that they used to have. Like the ones John Wayne used to be in.”


He’s not alone. Figures on the Right from William F. Buckley Jr. to Tom Wolfe have lamented that conservatives have focused on electoral politics to the exclusion of cultural endeavors. Think tanks, magazines, and activist groups can accomplish political tasks, they say, but culture-makers shape our prejudices and ideals in a subtle though more profound way than any policy paper or election. Liberals may lose at the ballot box, but through the box office, they are winning America’s hearts and minds.


AFR, founded five years ago by lawyers Jim and Ellen Hubbard, is supposed to be the conservative film movement’s workshop and showcase. Unfortunately, the festival reveals that self-conscious conservatives are largely incapable of producing good films. Worse, whenever they get their hands on the tools and money to produce quality work, their talents are employed less as storytellers informed by great truths about man and civilization than as political operatives obliged to serve the GOP.


The top-billed film of this year’s festival was “An American Carol,” a slapstick spoof produced by David Zucker, the man behind “Airplane,” the “Naked Gun” flicks, and a series of unaired Bush re-election commercials. “Carol” tells the story of “anti-American” documentarian, Michael Malone, who sets out to abolish the Fourth of July. Why? Because he hates America, we’re told. To the delight of the audience, JFK, General Patton, and George Washington make appearances to slap the Michael Moore lookalike and teach him that America is the greatest country ever. By the end, the liberal filmmaker realizes that being American means being pro-war (any war), and that’s okay.


To prime the audience, before AFR screened “Carol,”the conservative crowd was treated to an extended trailer for Oliver Stone’s scabrous Bush biopic, “W.” Predictably, “An American Carol” received an extended ovation, and “W.” was jeered. Of course, neither film will have an enduring effect on the culture. But each will gauge the relative box-office clout of conservatives and liberals as demographic groups. And the political Right is desperate to prove that it is not just a movement but an audience.

Conservatives launched an extensive get-out-the-popcorn effort for “Carol.” The movie has been promoted by bloggers on National Review Online. The Leadership Institute, an activist group that maintains contact with College Republicans nationwide, urged its charges to see the movie on opening weekend, even handing out tickets to its interns. The effort wasn’t a disaster—the film made the top ten—but while it opened on nearly three times as many screens as Bill Maher’s “Religulous,”“Carol” earned roughly the same dollar amount, a paltry $3.5 million.


Is “An American Carol” funny? In parts. There is some mildly amusing ethnic humor and a bravura film-within-a-film about Christian terrorists. Nuns perform the sign of the cross before blowing up buses, priests hijack flights, and Americans are forced to go through a humiliating new security procedure at airports because of “that Episcopalian suppository bomber.”


But the rest is a series of tiresome gags hastily tied together. Adorable children curse out their liberal relatives, Dennis Hopper blows away ACLU zombies with a shotgun, soldiers and sailors are hailed for their prowess in the sack. Of course, antiwar activists are smeared as pro-slavery Nazi-appeasers. Some scenes are recycled from Zucker’s campaign work. In one of his unaired 2004 spots, Arab terrorists fool Madeleine Albright by singing “Kumbaya.”In “Carol,” Hitler and his friends reach for their six-strings to serenade Neville Chamberlain, the Michael Moore stand-in, and a displeased Patton. Bill O’Reilly makes a cringe-inducing cameo.


Far from lampooning the Left, “Carol” insults conservatives by presuming that they are so simple as to be won over by fat jokes and flatulence. But the audience, imagining itself to be persecuted by Hollywood, is so grateful to be flattered by Zucker and company that they chuckle obediently at every cheap laff. Conservatives, once the scourge of coarsening culture, are happy to play crass as long as the joke is on liberals.

But contrary to the victim mentality of the AFR attendees, media elites are willing to praise genuine conservative achievements in filmmaking. New York Times critic A.O. Scott hailed the Peter Weir adaptation of “Master and Commander” as “among the most thoroughly and proudly conservative movies ever made. It imagines the H.M.S. Surprise as a coherent society in which stability is underwritten by custom and every man knows his duty and his place. I would not have been surprised to see Edmund Burke’s name in the credits.” But unlike “Carol,” the compelling maritime epic was informed by its conservative worldview, not driven by it.

At the same time, Hollywood liberals sometimes churn out products that conservatives love. Democratic donors Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks produced “Saving Private Ryan” and the “Band of Brothers” miniseries that National Review hailed as part “a new tradition of ‘getting it right.’” Spielberg and Hanks, the conservative biweekly, claimed, were “excellent caretakers” of this tradition.


Ellen Hubbard would love to see more subtle fare at AFR. She says that she and her husband “debate every year whether to search for more mainstream films or stick with more overtly partisan material” but, “especially, in an election-year, our audience wants the red meat.”


Despite this insatiable hunger, AFR has grown slightly more circumspect since its founding. In 2004, screenings opened with the Pledge of Allegiance and almost every film was preceded by a montage of military photos urging the audience to support the troops. In the early days, the Hubbards raised most of their money from friends and family. Now AFR is Ellen’s fulltime vocation. As the organization has grown, it has found sponsors in the Drudge Report and the Heritage Foundation. And the recent box-office success of liberal documentaries by Al Gore, Michael Moore, and Errol Morris means that AFR is now full of right-leaning imitators.


“U.N. Me” takes an acid look at the United Nations, investigating the Oil for Food scandal, blunderous missteps during non-proliferation efforts, and the institution’s tragic interventions in Africa. The filmmakers had a difficult time making such stomach-turning material entertaining. A satirical section called “Peacekeepers Gone Wild,” in which UN troops are shown dancing with underage prostitutes in a Côte d’Ivoire brothel, is too disturbing to be funny.


Another offering, “Do As I Say,” a documentary based on Peter Schweitzer’s book about liberal hypocrisy, deftly skewers its subjects. We learn that Michael Moore owned Halliburton stocks at the same time he told lecture audiences not to buy stocks at all. Noam Chomsky benefited from Pentagon contracts for his linguistics work, yet compares that institution to the Third Reich. Hillary Clinton campaigned in 2008 against many of the same mortgage practices she and her partners profited from in Whitewater. But what is the purpose of this dreary parade? The effect is to induce a certain smugness and self-satisfied lack of curiosity. If Al Gore owns a big house and carbon offsets are a fraud, then there is no need to think about global warming.


“Blocking the Path to 9/11” is a well-executed documentary about the 2006 ABC miniseries based on the 9/11 Commission Report. Watching the film, those who had forgotten the controversy might have guessed that the series never aired. It did, but with confusing last-minute edits, done at the behest of the Clintons and ABC brass, to make Bubba’s administration look less culpable for failing to capture bin Laden.


The travails of a minseries may seem like a small subject for a feature-length documentary, but the film is decidedly watchable because it lifts the curtain on Hollywood’s players and turns around powerful themes: the struggles of an artist pursuing his vision, the pettiness of bureaucratic men, and the triumph of partisan politics over truth. The film makes much of former national security adviser Sandy Berger’s baffoonish antics at the National Archives, where he stuffed his pants with incriminating documents from the Clinton administration, later destroying them. The criminal, and criminally stupid, Berger is shown accusing the miniseries’ director of manipulating history for partisan purposes. The nerve!

But it is here that we encounter the fundamental problem with AFR and many of its films. As “Blocking” moves into its final scenes, we are prepared for a stunning indictment of Washington and Hollywood. The audience anticipates that the documentary will champion the cause of artistic freedom and truth-telling. Instead we get a boring endorsement of the Republican Party. An assistant director on “The Path to 9/11” turns to the screen and says, “I considered myself liberal on most issues. But, after this, I really have a new perspective on who gets it—who gets the nature of our enemies.” Members of AFR’s audience murmured little “Amens” and nodded their heads.


At AFR, to hate Sandy Berger is to fall into the arms of Condi Rice. To despise Michael Moore is to cheer Bill O’Reilly. If Noam Chomsky is a hypocrite, then why criticize the Pentagon at all? AFR, instead of promoting American values, is trolling for votes. Its mission is high-toned and cultural, but its goals are transparently political. No wonder that after its first years in Dallas and Los Angeles, the festival seems to have found its permanent home in Washington, where Leadership Institute and Heritage interns can be marshaled to volunteer their efforts and their eyes.


It is no wonder that artists of a conservative bent like Tom Wolfe, Whit Stillman, and Mark Helprin have kept a formal distance from the conservative movement. The organized Right cannot stop itself from turning a popcorn flick into a pamphlet or a documentary into a screeching polemic. Freedom, rugged individualism, and the triumph of the human spirit? Sure. Just vote GOP.

The American Conservative welcomes letters to the editor.

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007

Matt Walsh is not Patriotic

http://www.theblaze.com/contributions/no-america-is-not-a-great-nation/

quote:

Here’s the truth: I am not happy with this country, and you shouldn’t be, either. I am disappointed in it. It disgraces itself. It turns from God. It kills its young. It attacks the family. Am I supposed to pretend otherwise just for the sake of being festive? While Michelle Obama felt pride in her nation for the first time recently, I am more and more developing a deep anger at it, and I think it’s time I admit that out loud. I’m a patriot, but to borrow from Chesterton, a patriot who is uncritical of his country while it teeters on the edge of total destruction is like a son who doesn’t warn his mother that she’s about to fall off a cliff. In this case, however, we already fell off the cliff. We are shattered on the rocks below, and I’m truly not certain if we can be repaired.

You want me to get into the holiday spirit and remind everyone that America is still great, but I don’t know, Mike, does a great country murder a million babies every year?

Does a great country ignore its own laws and tear its Constitution to pieces?

Does a great country become among the first in human civilization to dismantle the institution of marriage in favor of legitimizing sexual perversion?

Is a great country so confused that it can’t tell the difference between male and female?

Does the nuclear family collapse in a great country?

Does a great country have historically high rates of divorce, unwed pregnancy and fatherless homes?

Do little girls get IUDs implanted in them by school officials without parental consent in a great country?

Do citizens burn down their own cities in a great country?

Is moral relativism the cultural driving force in a great country?

Are churches empty in a great country?

Do one in every five citizens favor forcing priests to perform gay weddings in a great country?

Is pornography a billion-dollar industry in a great country?

Are there 110 million cases of STDs in a great country?

Are college students unable to name the vice president but able to chug a fifth of vodka in a great country?

Is higher education overrun by feminists and nihilists in a great country?

Is apathy endemic in a great country?

Does the average person watch five hours of TV a day in a great country?

Are people threatened, fired, attacked, belittled and ripped to shreds for having differing opinions in a great country?

Do young adults ransack stores just for fun in a great country?

Do schools teach kids how to masturbate but forget to teach them how to read in a great country ?

Is “50 Shades of Grey” a best-seller in a great country?

Does Christianity decline in a great country?

Are soldiers forced to sit in classrooms and listen to lectures about “white privilege” in a great country?

Has the gay agenda so infiltrated even the military that now officers are chased out of their jobs for telling lesbians to stop french-kissing while in uniform in a great country?

Does the government hand out birth control to children in a great country?

Do illegal immigrants stream over the border at will in a great country?

Are 151 million people on the government dole in a great country?

Do a majority of Americans vote for Barack Obama twice in a great country?

Does a great country laugh at morality, reject reality and worship cross-dressers?


Do adults in a great country so lack even the most rudimentary knowledge of their own great country that they can’t even explain why their great country celebrates the Fourth of July?

Is this what happens in a great country?

If so, what’s so great about being great? Where is the optimism in that miserable greatness? Where is the hope for the future if moral bankruptcy, selfishness, confusion, stupidity, deviancy and failure are “great”?

Nonsense
Jan 26, 2007

Apparently Obama's title as a greater deporter of illegal immigrants than previous presidents is false, and the right charges that "Turning away people at the border" was never counted by previous presidents, and now he's scaling back deportations, HES A MEXICAN LOVER!

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/jun/15/121-murders-attributed-illegal-immigrants-released/?page=all#pagebreak <- That link is about a month old, but that is something /r/news has put forth, also somebody called someone a race traitor in the thread about this topic.

Nonsense fucked around with this message at 19:36 on Jul 3, 2015

beatlegs
Mar 11, 2001

Marlamaid Swordhand posted:

A good comparison of An American Carol is that the people who made it never read the original story and based the plot around the Flintstones parody. Only they made everyone unlikable to the point where I didn't even notice that the movie lacks a Ghost of Christmas Present character. This was made by the same man who made The Naked Gun movies; what the gently caress happened to him?

See Dennis Miller, Adam Carolla, etc etc etc

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:

Marlamaid Swordhand posted:

This was made by the same man who made The Naked Gun movies; what the gently caress happened to him?

Probably got old. poo poo; I watched the third movie in theatres, and that was twenty years ago.

beatlegs
Mar 11, 2001

Oh noes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUhoTzJ5Rvc

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Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

You caught us red handed, Tom.

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