|
r00tn00b posted:You know that and I know that but I want to know why he dosn't know that. Never married, had kids or had any significant relationship of any kind most likely.
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 14:19
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 20, 2024 06:37 |
|
|
re: "closure" go watch "Jacob's Ladder" no joke it's a pretty sick movie involving this. but warning, it also may be 2spooky4u
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 15:24
|
|
|
basement jihadist posted:re: "closure" I'll already spooked his name is Jacob
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 15:26
|
|
|
ahhhh.. gaze into my spooky skull then muhahah
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 15:38
|
|
|
r00tn00b posted:I don't understand why that is creepy It's creepy a gently caress because you are sitting there, fantasizing about having a conversation that will never happen, for a ton of reasons. Most importantly the idea that you still think she gives a flying gently caress what you are feeling, continues to show an insane degree of separation between reality and what is going on in your head. This weird and obsessive way in which you're mentally jerking it to your totally imaginary conversation is seriously hosed up. You should be focussing on things regarding you and dealing with these changes, not hoping for some fairies and unicorn poo poo where there is anything good about caring about her opinion and feelings on this. You will not get an apology; She Does Not Care. You will not get an explanation, or "Hear the words from her mouth"; She Does Not Care. Even if you did get some version of the 'closure' that you think you deserve, you would claw around your delusional version of reality, inventing a reason why you still need more from her. It's a dysfunctional pattern of behaviour that you need to understand and break. She Give Not A gently caress. Does not care. Won't have any conversation because of those reasons; has a legal order mandating it because you're Just Not Getting It. It's actually so weird that it's making it pretty clear that you have some kind of serious fantasy/reality disconnect that doubtless precipitated this whole shitshow of a divorce because you are absolutely, pathetically out of touch with the real world, and in particular, your ex-wife. Talk to your therapist about your obsessive thoughts and ways to deal with them. Get a loving grip already, jesus.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 16:09
|
|
|
Blitter posted:It's creepy a gently caress because you are sitting there, fantasizing about having a conversation that will never happen, for a ton of reasons. Most importantly the idea that you still think she gives a flying gently caress what you are feeling, continues to show an insane degree of separation between reality and what is going on in your head. I have discussed it with my therapist and they seem to think its actually normal in this situation. So either my therapist is terrible or you have no idea what you are talking about. I'm going to go with door number 2.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 16:16
|
|
|
Blitter posted:It's creepy a gently caress because you are sitting there, fantasizing about having a conversation that will never happen, for a ton of reasons. Most importantly the idea that you still think she gives a flying gently caress what you are feeling, continues to show an insane degree of separation between reality and what is going on in your head. I too think it is weird for people under extreme emotional distress to not act 100% rationally. It is good an normal to tell people to not feel emotions for people they have loved for years.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 16:34
|
|
|
Blitter posted:It's creepy a gently caress because you are sitting there, fantasizing about having a conversation that will never happen, for a ton of reasons. Most importantly the idea that you still think she gives a flying gently caress what you are feeling, continues to show an insane degree of separation between reality and what is going on in your head. drat look at this stone cold motherfucker beep boop i do not feel emotions when under extreme emotional duress and instantly get over the bop beep
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 17:14
|
|
|
Nwabudike Morgan posted:drat look at this stone cold motherfucker I'm the guy who essentially kicked his wife out the second I got her to admit to cheating and never wavered from the divorce path and even I moped around hoping for "closure" before I finally realised life doesn't work that way. OP, you already know this but it's not creepy. However, take it from those who've been there, there's a good chance you won't ever get any satisfactory answers. (And what would those be anyway) The key is to look forward and eventually you'll care less and less about the past.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 18:03
|
|
|
Why are you paying for her cell phone and other poo poo?
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 18:43
|
|
|
Bronsonite posted:Why are you paying for her cell phone and other poo poo? So he can track who she's calling?
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 18:56
|
|
|
r00tn00b posted:She had a one of her family members text me about medical insurance for the kids which I cant loving afford as my job doesn't provide any assistance with benefits and I would have to pay them out of pocket, I tried explain that to them and got threaded with a court order and insulted for not caring enough about my kids to want to get them health insurance. That really pissed me off. A lot. I am paying all of my income to keep current on my house and my rent and paying for her cell phone and her other poo poo. How about you immediately stop paying for all her poo poo and save that money to try and make your kids lives better instead? Right now that means using the money on a decent lawyer instead so that you can stay a part of their lives.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 19:34
|
|
|
Actually I'd probably run it by your lawyer first to make sure it won't be used against you later.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 19:36
|
|
|
novamute posted:Actually I'd probably run it by your lawyer first to make sure it won't be used against you later. Yes, do this--follow legal advice, but unless it's a poor legal strategy, stop paying for her poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 20:30
|
|
|
If he's having trouble making rent, etc. how is he going to handle child support?
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 20:49
|
|
|
Nwabudike Morgan posted:drat look at this stone cold motherfucker Hey, go ahead and feel emotions - mourn the loss of what you had, feel angry about the scale of the betrayal, gently caress, feel pity for yourself, sure its a horrible situation. It's important to experience those things to be able to move on. Indulge your impossible visions of reconciliation? Find happiness in hopefulness? Yeah, that's a loving waste of time and the OP has been doing the above for years, with the end result being the miserable situation he is in. Move on, or you will never protect yourself and your kids from your ex and her machinations.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 22:36
|
|
|
please change thread title to devious ex machinations
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 23:15
|
|
|
Darth123123 posted:If he's having trouble making rent, etc. how is he going to handle child support? Well I plan on getting 50% custody of my kids so child support isn't a thing. Barring that I am only having issues ATM because I'm paying Rent and a mortgage so cash is short. I pay for everything else because I have to, I cannot retaliate in any way and taking away her cell phone and other things is considered retaliation. I am also still her husband and as she is my dependent (yay) I am required by law to provide insurance.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2015 23:33
|
|
|
r00tn00b posted:Well I plan on getting 50% custody of my kids so child support isn't a thing. Barring that I am only having issues ATM because I'm paying Rent and a mortgage so cash is short. You can't plan for something you have no control over, but you can plan forr the different events that can happen like you not getting 50% custody but instead every other weekend and holidays. You may want to plan for that scenario because it's a possibility. You're not planning you're hoping. You plan for the worst and hope for the best.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 03:15
|
|
|
a creepy colon posted:Never married, had kids or had any significant relationship of any kind most likely. Sorry, was married for several years and left after it turned abusive. Not every goon who disagrees with you is some sad shitlord living in their mom's basement sucking down mountain dew and cheetos. Blitter posted:It's creepy a gently caress because you are sitting there, fantasizing about having a conversation that will never happen, for a ton of reasons. Most importantly the idea that you still think she gives a flying gently caress what you are feeling, continues to show an insane degree of separation between reality and what is going on in your head. This, basically. The other thing that's creepy about it is the OP keeps fantasizing about how there's some sort of chance of them getting back together. She cheated on him, several times. She has a restraining order against him. She moved herself and her children to an entire different state to try to get away from him. None of that screams "we can totally make this work, baby!" Him posting about how much he misses her and if only he could talk to her things would be right again is creepy as gently caress. Saying the only thing that's stopping him is the threat of law enforcement getting involved and ruining his life is pretty disturbing. It doesn't really inspire confidence that the OP is actually doing what's in the best interest of his kids.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 03:41
|
|
|
It's not creepy it's just sad.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 03:43
|
|
|
clammy posted:It's not creepy it's just sad. It's probably very creepy for the woman who's trying to divorce him, the one who got a restraining order against him. Mourning the end of the relationship means accepting that it is dead, not trying to perform cpr on the embalmed corpse of it at the wake.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 03:44
|
|
|
Horrible Smutbeast posted:It's probably very creepy for the woman who's trying to divorce him, the one who got a restraining order against him. Mourning the end of the relationship means accepting that it is dead, not trying to perform cpr on the embalmed corpse of it at the wake. He's not trying to, he's just having thoughts and feelings & expressing them here. And she's way creepier than he is, unless we're doing the thing where we put a negative filter on everything the op says & make their antagonist the hero through the power of devils advocate run amok.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 03:47
|
|
|
*ruins someone's life through adultery & deceit & manipulation* - totally cool, more power to you, be strong *falls victim to the aforementioned & goes through normal whirlwind emotions and panic thoughts, want's "closure," fantasizes about things going back to a previous time when they seemed good* - creepy
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 03:50
|
|
|
Horrible Smutbeast posted:Sorry, was married for several years and left after it turned abusive. Not every goon who disagrees with you is some sad shitlord living in their mom's basement sucking down mountain dew and cheetos. First of all, we moved here together, I brought the kids with me, she didn't run out to Oregon with my kids while I was at home. I thought we were still working on things at that time. The restraining order wasn't to protect her or our kids from me, she is in no threat from me at all. I have done nothing but support this woman for 8 years and would gladly do it all again. And yeah I would talk to my wife right now if I wouldn't get loving arrested for saying one word to her. Why would I not want to talk to the person who has been a huge part of my life for that last 8 years and who I am supposed to work with to parent two children? Like what is wrong with you that you can't grasp that? I don't understand how you think cutting the mother of my kids out of my life is good for anyone at all.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 04:15
|
|
|
Horrible Smutbeast posted:It's probably very creepy for the woman who's trying to divorce him, the one who got a restraining order against him. Nothing at all creepy about a woman using her stepfather's connections as a former DA to get a restraining order against her husband on completely false pretenses and without a shred of evidence though.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 04:20
|
|
|
Horrible Smutbeast posted:She moved herself and her children to an entire different state to try to get away from him. She went on ahead and left him looking after the kids. For weeks. Don't manufacture some kind of 'this guy is dangerous' scenario because it didn't happen that way.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 04:20
|
|
|
I guess I understand the desire to have a relationship with the woman who birthed your kids, but at some point I feel like she's letting them down. Like getting a divorce is one thing but she's aiming to gently caress you over. It feels like she's considering her wants before her kids.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 04:56
|
|
|
Edgar Allan Pwned posted:I guess I understand the desire to have a relationship with the woman who birthed your kids, but at some point I feel like she's letting them down. Like getting a divorce is one thing but she's aiming to gently caress you over. It feels like she's considering her wants before her kids. this is the thing that I can't understand out of all her actions I know she loves her kids but shes not doing the best for them right now.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 05:10
|
|
|
It's because she's a selfish piece of poo poo hth
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 10:26
|
|
|
Horrible Smutbeast posted:Him posting about how much he misses her and if only he could talk to her things would be right again is creepy as gently caress. Actually it's a completely normal reaction to the sudden and unexpected loss of the major relationship in his life. There are lots of emotions to work through when processing loss.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 11:51
|
|
|
She's not thinking about what's best for her children, but neither is OP by wanting to work things out with her. She has no regard for anyone outside of her own wants. The kids deserve better than that. It's normal to miss your spouse and feel a little lost, but he should still try not to obsess over it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 12:28
|
|
|
He has an attorney and is following his advice. He's still going to be emotiontally wrecked over this for awhile, though; that is a normal response to loss and betrayal.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 12:53
|
|
|
r00tn00b posted:this is the thing that I can't understand out of all her actions I know she loves her kids but shes not doing the best for them right now. Her actions are irrelevant to you and what you're doing. You need to get your poo poo in order, get a lawyer, and plan for her attacks on you. Keep going to therapy, keep doing the right things and hopefully everything will turn out well. Like you do get she's trying to take your kids away from you and have full custody right? Like have you accepted this is the attack she's launching on you?
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 18:13
|
|
|
Veskit posted:Her actions are irrelevant to you and what you're doing. You need to get your poo poo in order, get a lawyer, and plan for her attacks on you. Keep going to therapy, keep doing the right things and hopefully everything will turn out well. It's probably not her idea, it's her parents driving all this as she passively sits there (probably still pining for the OP). If only he could talk to her away from her parents this would all get sorted out.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 18:32
|
|
|
Baronjutter posted:It's probably not her idea, it's her parents driving all this as she passively sits there (probably still pining for the OP). If only he could talk to her away from her parents this would all get sorted out. Lol Anyways she's going for the kids, and child support. P obv How many kids is it? "Just" two? That's like nominally 1000/month.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2015 20:54
|
|
|
It's possible that she's an inhumane monster but more likely she just sucks at communicating and is bad at adult relationships. She can't handle the situation, fled to her parents, had them take care of her mess and is now hoping that the whole situation goes away by hiding and not talking to her husband. The lady is a woman-child.
|
|
#
?
Jul 4, 2015 04:47
|
|
|
Darth123123 posted:Lol Yes just two kids, and yeah around 1000 a month. Yeah I think her plan is to go for the kids, I really can't go into because of legal reasons (lawyer advice to not put it in a public place) but I have a pretty solid argument for child custody if she doesn't want to be civil about it. She knows what she did and if she is delusional enough to try and fight me I will take my kids from her. even as a stay at home mother I paid for child care because she didn't want to take care of them full time. And even for doctors appointments I would have to call off work to take the kids to the doctor. if they got sick it was my fault so I had to call off work to take care of them. I am the primary care giver for my children. full time job or not. I have them today and my youngest son has a diaper rash that makes me cringe and he is uses the potty at my house not a diaper, and my older son is covered head to toe in bug bites, 10-20 of them it looks like he sleeps in spiders. which is just odd because these people live in a really nice house in a rich part of town. Pictures taken, things documented. They do a lot of sit down and watch TV parenting over there from what my son says and she spends a lot of time on her computer. I know typing that out makes me wanting to work things out seem less and less like something I should even want to do, I can read what I say. You don't have to point it out.
|
|
#
?
Jul 4, 2015 05:45
|
|
|
Good for you buddy. You've got your eyes open and are heading in the right direction.
|
|
#
?
Jul 4, 2015 06:24
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 20, 2024 06:37 |
|
|
If she's that neglectful then I'd hope for the sake of your kids you'd not attempt to reconcile with her. They deserve better.
|
|
#
?
Jul 4, 2015 13:09
|
|