|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2015 18:32
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 24, 2024 23:18 |
|
|
june actuals plz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGuGRgVmqlE
|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2015 18:34
|
|
|
Inverse Icarus posted:june actuals plz  Don't disappoint this man, KG.
|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2015 18:52
|
|
|
So it's end of dayish. Did you do it? How'd it go? Or are you planning on doing it next week? Also where are June actuals?
|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2015 23:35
|
|
|
Seems clear that his boss fired him for asking for more money and now he's a bindlestiff. On the upside, budgeting is pretty easy when all income goes directly toward tinned beans.
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 01:40
|
|
|
Hey guys had a rough night with the babe, I'll post June tomorrow.
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 05:52
|
|
|
 June's final. I gave it a go but I came up short. Here is the less confusing version not taking into account the YNAB stuff that I'm going to fix in August. code: . Thanks for the opportunity charity sponsors (Horking Delight, Illegally Sober, Slap me Silly, Aagar). I wish I had better capitalized on it, and I'm trying to think of a way to make up for it. Please feel free to throw in ideas here if you have any.Work wise: There was just too much going on yesterday to hit everyone's points. I took the forum's advice and didn't go to my boss with the data. I agree going to him with a "JR .NET Programmer" title wouldn't look good (I still can't believe that's the title they wanted to give me). The answer to that Virginia company will be no.
|
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 18:27
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:
This was really the reason you were waiting to post it, huh? Good decision on the offer. I think you can do better than that and you really don't want to back your boss into a corner if you aren't ready to leave (and sometimes even if you are ready to leave) Edit: Derp, it's right there and I skimmed over it somehow. Can you post more specifics on the categories you went over in/why you exceeded them? Referee fucked around with this message at 18:38 on Jul 11, 2015 |
|
#
?
Jul 11, 2015 18:36
|
|
|
You went over budget by an awful lot, and I have to admit, I find that really disappointing since you had already increased your discretionary budgets to make it easier to succeed. This is why people in the thread criticize you when you count your chickens before they hatch or because they don't think you can meet your budget or that you can't control your impulsive spending. What happened last month? The only thing I want from you is for you to spend some time on self-reflection and gain an understanding of what happened, why you overspent your budget so much, and what efforts you're going to take to prevent it from happening again. Colin Mockery fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Jul 12, 2015 |
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 00:06
|
|
|
As someone who has gotten a bit too "spendy" recently I'm at least glad that KG didn't try to justify it as being kosher. I was really dreading that shitstorm. Dammit, we're really rooting for you. Glad you're at least being honest, though. edit: I posted before I looked at the budget. This is doable, man. Control that discretionary spending and make sure you're being realistic on the necessities and you can make steady progress. Easychair Bootson fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Jul 12, 2015 |
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 00:39
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:
So at a glance -- Good job with baby stuff. The overspending in fuel and utilities doesn't seem like a big concern. It's the tiny sort of amount that usually averages out over a year. The car insurance overage does concern me, because shouldn't you know exactly how much you have to pay per month? I feel the same way about the pets line item. Both that and car insurance are not huge overages, but they should be fairly reliable predictable costs. As you of course know, it's the flex spending categories that really killed you this month. Can you tell us more about what happened? I'm especially curious about what happened with restaurants and groceries. When I go crazy eating out, my grocery costs usually becomes a lot lower, but that doesn't seem to have happened. The good news is, if you continue to use YNAB this month, you will be able to have YNAB calculate for you your 3-month average on these categories. That should be very enlightening for you and help you set your budget categories realistically. Even though I'm generally satisfied with my budget numbers, I still periodically check my 3-month (and yearly) average spending to make sure I am on track. If I keep budgeting $50/month for something but my 3-month average is more like $86, I know I need to reevaluate.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 00:57
|
|
|
His Discretionary 130/255 Restaurants 100/203 This is really disappointing Knyteguy. Maybe you need to cut up all your cards and go cash only. Then when you want to get take out or go out for dinner and the bank is closed you just can't. Like Easychair said, we're all rooting for you. I really want you to take that vacation in August. My husband and I had a baby about a month after you did, and I know how you're feeling about getting away for a night or two. Please stick to the budget so you can take the vacation.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 01:01
|
|
|
What the gently caress, man? I just... KG, I want you to take that vacation. I really do. But you're already going to be making up this bullshit in July. You won't have any money to set aside for a vacation. Over in Groceries, Restaurants, Clothing /Grooming, and Discretionary? I'm so disappointed in you, it's bordering on anger.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 04:45
|
|
|
Am I reading that right that you planned to put ~1k in savings/emergency and didn't and still went over budget? I dunno, I could be reading YNAB wrong.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 05:03
|
|
|
I know I'm constantly taking the cheery road in this thread, but I seriously think this is a good thing. How many times has KG dismissed suggestions because he believed that over time, his process was getting him results? Now it's very clear that that is not working. I think it's a very good sign that KG was willing to put this in the thread (even if it was late) and take his knocks for failing. There wasn't any justification or excuses. He failed and he knows it, and maybe now we can talk about how to fix this in the future. This was a very human and normal failing and I don't think it's useful to start abusing KG about it. If we truly want him to improve then we should talk about how to fix it and not focus on how he hosed up. I know KG is not a child, but there is a shitload of research showing that kids who believe that failing at something is bad do lovely at school because they're not willing to try anything. Failing is a normal part of life and progress. I'd link that one XKCD comic if I weren't on my phone. Not that anyone is getting abusive, but I think it's worth mentioning before anyone does. People are rooting for you KG, and will be bummed to see your setback. But let's keep it a setback and not a trend. I for one would be willing to fund another charity challenge if that helps motivate you.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 05:20
|
|
|
What'd you blow your discretionary on?
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 05:33
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:
Inverse Icarus posted:You're going to feel pretty loving terrible if a bunch of cats go unspayed because you couldn't not go to the Olive Garden.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 08:13
|
|
|
sheri posted:Am I reading that right that you planned to put ~1k in savings/emergency and didn't and still went over budget? I dunno, I could be reading YNAB wrong. He put $1080.20 into his emergency fund (the budgeted amount) and didn't spend any of that (no outflows). So if you want to look for a silver lining, he did save that money and allow his discretionary stuff to go red, which should be carried over to the next month where he has to make it up. That's better than raiding the piggy bank to pad his restaurant category with extra money. But KG, I'm not seeing where you're carrying those negative balances for flexible spending categories over to July. You need to do that. You should have negative balances in July for things like restaurants and clothing (assuming you're sticking with your budget) and less than five bucks in "his discretionary."
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 11:50
|
|
|
Hawkgirl posted:I know I'm constantly taking the cheery road in this thread, but I seriously think this is a good thing. How many times has KG dismissed suggestions because he believed that over time, his process was getting him results? Now it's very clear that that is not working. I think it's a very good sign that KG was willing to put this in the thread (even if it was late) and take his knocks for failing. There wasn't any justification or excuses. He failed and he knows it, and maybe now we can talk about how to fix this in the future. Yeah, I've been pretty harsh on you in this thread, but maybe this will be the little nudge you need to get your act together. Thanks for being honest with us.
|
|
#
?
Jul 12, 2015 20:59
|
|
|
Are you rolling forward your overages in restaurants, discretionary, and clothing? I would advise you don't because it's probably going to set you up to fail again. At the end of the day you need to learn to just literally STOP spending when you run out of budget.
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 15:22
|
|
|
Bugamol posted:Are you rolling forward your overages in restaurants, discretionary, and clothing? I disagree, although I sort of see what you're saying. Without rolling over, there's no immediate consequences that will be felt for that budget item, it just ends up being a "whoops we overspent, but that's OK because I still get to spend the full amount this month". Also, rolling over works well (usually) because you can roll over overages and underages, which allows one to actually save up across multiple months for a big purchase. It also smooths out the trends over time. Whether or not they get rolled over is a moot point though until your second item gets addressed, which is to stop spending when you run out of budget.
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 15:33
|
|
|
Thanks a lot for the support guys. You all are awesome. I'm also disappointed, and I agree that this will take some self reflection. I figure I've left the thread hanging, so I just wanted to say that. I'll post a little more info on the overage categories when I get a moment, and reply to a couple points mentioned so far.
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 16:19
|
|
|
Bugamol posted:Are you rolling forward your overages in restaurants, discretionary, and clothing? This is my opinion too. The most basic and necessary skill for discretionary spending is to stop when you reach the limit. He can't even do that right now - so he he especially can't handle the extra level of accountability and tracking involved in rolling it over. As he has demonstrated conclusively in May and June. ...But we did hash this out last month too 
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 17:43
|
|
|
ObsidianBeast posted:I disagree, although I sort of see what you're saying. Without rolling over, there's no immediate consequences that will be felt for that budget item, it just ends up being a "whoops we overspent, but that's OK because I still get to spend the full amount this month". Also, rolling over works well (usually) because you can roll over overages and underages, which allows one to actually save up across multiple months for a big purchase. It also smooths out the trends over time. He's so wildly overspent that I think the stress of trying to stick with it would just lead to continued overspending. Better, I think, to try again with a full discretionary but use cash only or something.
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 18:01
|
|
|
I think many of my spending problems relate to stress for sure Hawkgirl (which we've all discussed before). One of the problems with my stress (and probably everyone's) is that it is self perpetuating. I get stressed, I don't deal with it via a healthy outlet, I fail to meet X goal because of stress, and then that stresses me out further and saps my energy and motivation. I'm in the process of implementing a healthy outlet that I believe will help me better achieve my goals. I'll still go into some points further, but I wanted to throw that out there while I was thinking about it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 18:46
|
|
|
At the very least I think the discretionary budget and the restaurant budget should be cash-only for July because that's where the overages are consistently coming from.
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 18:50
|
|
|
IllegallySober posted:This was really the reason you were waiting to post it, huh? Yes. I was wary to post it, but there really were some things I was waiting on as well. I declined the offer this morning. The recruiter said she'd call the company to see if they could come up with something better. Not expecting much here. Overages in the budget: Clothes: Wife picked up some interview clothes and I picked up some stuff for my walks and some summer clothes I needed. My failure here was that I intended to make this up out of the budget elsewhere, but I didn't. Everything else: I don't really know how to post it here, but I'll try. I had some trouble with alcohol last month, and it got me back into smoking cigarettes again. I've even struggled with it this month, but without the monetary damages. Alcohol last month especially allowed me to self-justify some stupid poo poo like going out to eat too much and buying dumb things. I'd say that's likely the root of it all right there. It kind of loops back around to what I said in my last post, and that's that I need a healthy outlet for stress relief. I was going to buy a treadmill desk to help... but I decided against that. That's me trying to look for a magic bullet answer where there isn't one. I'm still trying to figure out what to do, and I have some ideas, but I do believe that creating a routine to help with stress will empower me to reach my goals. I'm one day clean on cigarettes again, I'm two days clean on alcohol, and I've accepted that I do not want or need these things in my life. I used to socialize just fine without them for a long time. I'm also working on finding an appropriate outlet which I will begin to implement tomorrow. To start my wife and I will be scheduling one outdoor activity for at least a couple hours a day every weekend (maybe an overnight hike when she has the weekend off), I'm going to start walking or biking every morning to work less Thursday (remote day), and I bought some bug bombs for the second garage so I can do some wood working, play my drums, and do some reps on my heavy bag. I also started a vacation fund for August's budget (taken from discretionary). I believe this will really help me with impulsiveness, and just being happier in general. Plus it'll be more fun; I miss hiking and stuff (to head off anything I'm not going to go buy a bunch of hiking gear!). I've done all of this before, and I can do it again. I will do it again. tl;dr subtract vices; add healthy fun stress relieving things to do both with the family and without. IllegallySober posted:At the very least I think the discretionary budget and the restaurant budget should be cash-only for July because that's where the overages are consistently coming from. Well I believe it's too late for July, but I'll absolutely do this in August with my discretionary and our restaurants. After some consideration of starting clean re: the budget next month vs paying for our mistakes... I believe we'll start clean. I don't want to overextend beyond what I feel I can do at this point. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 22:03 on Jul 13, 2015 |
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 22:00
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:Yes. I was wary to post it, but there really were some things I was waiting on as well. First, I want to say that it took a lot of guts to open up about some of the thought processes and the issues from last month rather than simply denying there was an issue and/or trying to cover it up. Thank you for being honest. It's only going to help you. I believe not buying a treadmill desk is the correct decision. I can tell you from my own experience that I feel a lot better about life in general when I'm doing something active but it doesn't have to be as drastic or as expensive as that desk. Leverage what you already have- the heavy bag and the drums, for example as you mentioned. Both of those are great ideas. I'll let other folks cover the alcohol and smoking pieces of the issue if they desire but it's good to see that you've been introspective enough to determine an issue and be willing to make a change. Good work as far as I'm concerned. Lastly- it's only the 13th of the month, it's not too late to go cash-only on those budget items (unless you've already exceeded the month's budget on these?) Simply subtract what you've already spent from the budget and place the rest in cash in an envelope and spend from that for the remainder of the month. What do you have remaining in each of these for July, just out of curiosity? And seriously, again, good job on being as open and honest with us as you can on this stuff. It makes it a lot easier to give advice and help where it's needed. You can do this!
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 22:10
|
|
|
Legitimate struggles and legitimate stress. Does talking about this stuff with your wife help, or make it worse? Either could be the case, either is ok. But if talking about it together makes things worse, the two of you should work on finding other outlets for each of you. Therapy, groups, I dunno but there's a lot of stuff out there. A lot of people struggle with these things.
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 22:12
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:After some consideration of starting clean re: the budget next month vs paying for our mistakes... I believe we'll start clean. I don't want to overextend beyond what I feel I can do at this point. You're only hurting yourself by doing this, if there's no consequences to mistakes then you won't learn very much from them. If you roll it over into this month it means you can't eat out at all, and if you follow through with that, maybe next time you have a drink or two instead of going "ah it'll be alright, not like it'll bankrupt me, I'll be good next month" you'll go "gently caress that, I'm not doing another month where I can't goto the Olive Garden".
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 22:15
|
|
|
They literally can't make up May and June until what, September? And that's if they never leave the house during that time, whereas they have conclusively demonstrated that doing even one month on budget is a stretch. You're just piling on stress, which is extremely counterproductive. Do I have to start citing the behavioral psychology literature, here?
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 22:20
|
|
|
IllegallySober posted:Lastly- it's only the 13th of the month, it's not too late to go cash-only on those budget items (unless you've already exceeded the month's budget on these?) Simply subtract what you've already spent from the budget and place the rest in cash in an envelope and spend from that for the remainder of the month. What do you have remaining in each of these for July, just out of curiosity? Agreed. I bet it's something like there's an odd number of dollars left and it's inconvenient to grab it out of the ATM. (That would be my excuse.) But don't let perfect be the enemy of good, Knyteguy. If you've got $63 left, withdraw $60 and use that as your discretionary and let the $3 carry over to next month. Rudager posted:You're only hurting yourself by doing this, if there's no consequences to mistakes then you won't learn very much from them. He already tried that with restaurants and (to his credit) it worked pretty well for a month, but look at what happened this month. If Knyte was $50 over his discretionary instead of $100+ over I'd say you're right. But I think in this situation it goes beyond consequences and into punishment. Punishment doesn't work, it just makes people feel like they can't ever get better. It creates a terrible cycle where Knyte and family do their damndest to reach their goals but consistently fail them, leading everyone (including themselves) to shake their heads and say, "I guess they just aren't strong enough to be successful." Instead, Knyte needs to create a cycle where his successes give him the confidence and desire to achieve more goals.
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 22:27
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:Big budget coming up. July will have (holy poo poo) the first debt repayment stuff scheduled. Maybe August actually I'm not sure. I'll get the budget posted before the end of the month as agreed. It's taken so much to get here, so I'm absolutely stoked to get started. It would've been way easier to just put extra money towards debt all this time, rather than saving, but the skills we've learned and will continue to learn during this process will help us beyond that. There was this post on June 28th and I think maybe a few other around that time (maybe earlier), where you would have already known you blew the budget, but it doesn't seem like you came to terms with it? I'd assume you would have known earlier than that as well (or rather hope). I am just observing here and not trying to put you on the defensive, but to me it seems like this disconnect shows up here and there. The dreams of where you want to be has somehow become your current reality, or maybe prevents you from buckling down to face your current reality. You kind of talked about this with the alcohol and stress and other things, but I think getting to the bottom of that, and facing your reality (or rather learning to come to terms with failure and addressing it quickly instead of just checking out). This is hard stuff, and most of it is emotional. The deception is that it seems like it should be so easy, and there is always some excuse. It's a daily struggle and will be until good habits set in and things start rolling. For a positive, I'm glad you didn't go blow money on a treadmill desk and then regret it later and have the cycle continue (or the mode I usually get in, is that well, wasted X amount, so might as well go nuts).
|
|
#
?
Jul 13, 2015 23:34
|
|
|
Don't hang out with people who smoke and drink excessively right now. You don't need to be around that and the easiest way to not give in to the temptation is to avoid it altogether. I know that sounds like a really lovely thing to say, because it sounds like you're drinking and smoking when hanging out with your friends or family, and I don't mean to imply that they are not good influences, but you seem to have different priorities right now - or at least you're telling us you do - and if those priorities are important then you need to treat them as such. Put yourself in situations where you will succeed, not in ones where you will struggle. If alcohol is a problem, don't be around it. I hope this makes sense. Don't forget that we are all rooting for you!
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2015 00:33
|
|
|
IllegallySober posted:First, I want to say that it took a lot of guts to open up about some of the thought processes and the issues from last month rather than simply denying there was an issue and/or trying to cover it up. Thank you for being honest. It's only going to help you. We have about $65 each left. Alright I'll do it today after work with my portion at least. Thanks. I don't mean to blame anyone or anything except myself here, like alcohol. It's not always some big deal, but alcohol has just enabled me to make poor choices on weekends for awhile now (especially money wise), and I'm done with that. slap me silly posted:Legitimate struggles and legitimate stress. Does talking about this stuff with your wife help, or make it worse? Either could be the case, either is ok. But if talking about it together makes things worse, the two of you should work on finding other outlets for each of you. Therapy, groups, I dunno but there's a lot of stuff out there. A lot of people struggle with these things. I definitely talk to her about it. My grandmother as well. It does help. I'm going to try to further that with the things I mentioned above (mostly exercise), as I really think it'll help with controlling impulses. MrEnigma posted:There was this post on June 28th and I think maybe a few other around that time (maybe earlier), where you would have already known you blew the budget, but it doesn't seem like you came to terms with it? I'd assume you would have known earlier than that as well (or rather hope). No I hadn't come to terms with it, and I also had a plan to try to fix it in a couple ways that didn't work out. Yes I agree it's absolutely a daily struggle. Some days and months are easier than others, but then sometimes there's a month like June. nikosoft posted:Don't hang out with people who smoke and drink excessively right now. You don't need to be around that and the easiest way to not give in to the temptation is to avoid it altogether. Thanks yeah I've been hanging around with an old drinking buddy from high school again, and it's not even remotely his fault or anything, but it definitely has allowed me to fall back into old habits (which is again my own fault). I initially started smoking again just "having one" on a weekend with some beers, but that behavior became worse; I went and bought snus, I bought more snus, I bought a pack and smoked 3, etc etc. And then I felt I needed it, and it made me feel like poo poo. 2 days clean on smoking, 3 days clean on alcohol. Anyway I apologize this is getting all E/N in here everyone. To keep it to the financial side I believe that sticking to the new regimen will do wonders for my approach to money. When I was a happier healthier individual I used to just put my entire paycheck in the sock drawer. If I'd spend it was distinctly different spending - I'm having trouble coming up with the correct words to describe it. I didn't really want to go buy a bunch of stuff. I think my compulsion to spend and eat out is relatively new (maybe 5-6 years), and I believe it's because it's a stress outlet for me that happens to be unhealthy. Hawkgirl I like that you say that perfect is the enemy of good; that's actually something I've been trying to internalize lately. Hey and thanks everyone. Your support has helped me to not give up on this process. There's no question that it would be easier to just quit, and I probably would have if it wasn't for this thread. I appreciate your relative patience as well. If we take it easy the rest of July we'll be on track to make the budget. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 16:44 on Jul 14, 2015 |
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2015 16:41
|
|
|
Lol a recruiter from a company I've never worked with before just called my boss and asked if I was available to speak regarding job openings.  Talk about unprofessional. It sucks too, because he specialized in west coast remote work but I had to loudly blow him off as my boss is in the office. I would have at least heard him out.e: boss said he's cool with it. He says he wouldn't hold it against me to talk to them, and in fact encourages me to find out and know my value at all times. He also hates recruiters as a worker and an employer. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Jul 14, 2015 |
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2015 21:12
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:Lol a recruiter from a company I've never worked with before just called my boss and asked if I was available to speak regarding job openings. Be sneaky? Call him back when you get home. Unless you think that you don't want to work with such an incompetent recruiter (seems reasonable.)
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2015 21:36
|
|
|
BarbarianElephant posted:Be sneaky? Call him back when you get home. Unless you think that you don't want to work with such an incompetent recruiter (seems reasonable.) Hey that's a good idea. I'll consider it. I think I want to invest time in myself and learn some new skills as mentioned, and then go for a big tech company though. That'll look way good on my resume as opposed to some farm company in Stockton or Virginia. I'm going to slash the career stuff here personally though. I just wanted to share that story above, but continue to focus on the mental aspect of the budget and stuff. Getting healthy mentally and physically will help my career as well, so I need that to be the absolute focus of my life at the moment. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 22:11 on Jul 14, 2015 |
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2015 21:47
|
|
|
You know what is free and a good outlet for stress? AA. The sorts of issues you are describing are issues of a person with addiction issues. Maybe you aren't strictly an alcoholic, but your drinking is clearly effecting your life very negatively. Just to remind everyone you had an issue with booze a few months ago that was so bad you refused to talk about it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 15, 2015 02:15
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 24, 2024 23:18 |
|
|
n8r posted:You know what is free and a good outlet for stress? AA. Nah not really my thing. This is all a totally been there done that thing for me. I don't find not drinking to be a big deal. I didn't drink a drop for the first 4 years of my relationship with my wife by choice, so no biggy. I do have an addictive personality for sure though. I don't think that will come as a surprise to anyone.
|
|
#
?
Jul 15, 2015 02:48
|
|