Post the very best in obsolete and failed technology

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Dewgy: Nov 10, 2005; ~🚚special delivery~📦

32MB OF ESRAM posted:

I thought they had made advancements with this because they had to slice and peel back my dad's cornea when he had it done 10+ years ago.

Nowadays they dont slice and peel, they have this thing like the drill-bit you use to cut the doorknob hole out of doors, or one of those things that cuts out apple cores. slices a full circle of your cornea out, they laser underneath then pop the circle back out and place it back exactly where it was cut out. It heals in a day or two.

I thought they had lasers that could pass through cornea layers but nope.

I'm not sure if I find a teeny tiny Forstner bit going into my eye terrifying or fascinating. Or if I just played too much Dead Space.

Either way I'm glad I can get contacts. Too scared of the old way and too scared of the new way too. :haw:

# ? Jul 20, 2015 21:55

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# ? May 28, 2024 18:19

Shrecknet: Jan 2, 2005

32MB OF ESRAM posted:

Nowadays they dont slice and peel, they have this thing like the drill-bit you use to cut the doorknob hole out of doors, or one of those things that cuts out apple cores. slices a full circle of your cornea out

# ? Jul 20, 2015 21:56

Wanamingo: Feb 22, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

pookel posted:

I keep meaning to make an effortpost about obsolete sex toy technology, but then I post from work, so uh ... nope. Maybe tonight. (Anyone who wants to steal my idea is free to, there's a gold mine out there.)

Wait, what now?

# ? Jul 20, 2015 22:19

pookel: Oct 27, 2011; Ultra Carp

19th century vibrators and the like. There's all kinds of weird stuff out there.

If I ever remember this idea when I'm at home and not at the office, I'll make the post. I don't want to be scrolling through pages of dildos to find it when I'm at work.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 22:22

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

picturing something brass with a very thick fabric covered wire plugging directly into the wall without a ground

# ? Jul 20, 2015 22:35

pookel: Oct 27, 2011; Ultra Carp

Plugged in? LOL. There were steam-powered and hand-wound vibrators.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 22:40

old bean factory: Nov 18, 2006; Will ya close the fucking doors?!

The Gatling Anal Destroyer

# ? Jul 20, 2015 23:03

Serperoth: Feb 21, 2013

mng posted:

The Gatling Anal Destroyer

Don't doxx me please.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 23:06

Dick Trauma: Nov 30, 2007; God damn it, you've got to be kind.

pookel posted:

Plugged in? LOL. There were steam-powered and hand-wound vibrators.

There can be only ONE!

# ? Jul 20, 2015 23:15

Raygereio: Nov 12, 2012

pookel posted:

Plugged in? LOL. There were steam-powered and hand-wound vibrators.

I thought you were joking. But apparently not.
Someone was clearly having fun with the wiki page for vibrators though.

The wiki page for vibrator posted:

For centuries, doctors had been treating women for a wide variety of illnesses by performing what is now recognized as masturbation. The "pelvic massage" was especially common in the treatment of female hysteria in Great Britain during the Victorian Era, as the point of such manipulation was to cause "hysterical paroxysm" (orgasm) in the patient.[1] However, not only did they regard the "vulvar stimulation" required as having nothing to do with sex, but reportedly found it time-consuming and hard work.[2]
One of the first vibrators was called the 'Tremoussoir' invented in France during 1734.[3] The first steam-powered vibrator was called the "Manipulator", which was invented by American physician George Taylor, M.D. in 1869.[4] This machine was a rather awkward device, but was still heralded as some relief for the doctors who found themselves suffering from fatigued wrists and hands.

Raygereio has a new favorite as of 23:20 on Jul 20, 2015

# ? Jul 20, 2015 23:16

The Gasmask: Nov 30, 2006; _{Breaking fingers like fractals}

Haha, from what I've gathered in occasionally reading about this stuff is that quote is pretty spot on. Hysteria was a "real" thing, and so was the local doctor fingerblasting your wife until he got carpal tunnel.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 23:21

pienipple: Mar 20, 2009; That's wrong!

32MB OF ESRAM posted:

I thought they had made advancements with this because they had to slice and peel back my dad's cornea when he had it done 10+ years ago.

Nowadays they dont slice and peel, they have this thing like the drill-bit you use to cut the doorknob hole out of doors, or one of those things that cuts out apple cores. slices a full circle of your cornea out, they laser underneath then pop the circle back out and place it back exactly where it was cut out. It heals in a day or two.

I thought they had lasers that could pass through cornea layers but nope.

And they call it a biscuit cutter!

# ? Jul 21, 2015 00:39

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Raygereio posted:

I thought you were joking. But apparently not.

They also made radium suppositories and wang/scrotal sacks for men to 'enhance virility.'

# ? Jul 21, 2015 01:21

Dick Trauma: Nov 30, 2007; God damn it, you've got to be kind.

DrBouvenstein posted:

...and wang/scrotal sacks for men to 'enhance virility.'

Those don't work. :smith:

# ? Jul 21, 2015 01:40

pienipple: Mar 20, 2009; That's wrong!

DrBouvenstein posted:

They also made radium suppositories and wang/scrotal sacks for men to 'enhance virility.'

And the electric prostate warmer!

# ? Jul 21, 2015 01:41

Mercury Ballistic: Nov 14, 2005; not gun related

tribbledirigible posted:

I'd lime to draw attention to the Telex number at the bottom of this screen. Basically a point to point text messaging system that weren't unlike the telepgraph crossed sith a fax machine. A law firm I once worked for had one sittting in a closet with some casette based computers.

Late I bet, but telex is still in use in the shipping world. I see places still list it as a POC.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 02:20

AwwJeah: Jul 3, 2006; I like you!

Portable television are totally obsolete! I remember my father had a grainy black and white piece of junk we took on a camping trip one year. It was like trying to watch the grainy pornography channel you could barely make out if you didn't have a subcription to it from your cable TV provider. Only all the time. We tried to watch baseball maybe once and gave up. It cost like $300.

Anyway here's a particularly handsome portable television I just stumbled across. The the practically named TX8-301! It was manufactured by Sony in 1959. No idea how much they wanted for it. But it's a beaut!

This television and Sony's AIBO are both part of the Museum of Modern Art's design collection.

Speaking of AIBO I just looked to see what those little guys are going for on eBay. They've maintained their value surprisingly well! You'll find them priced anywhere between $600 and $1000. Eve the pamphlets, brochures, boxes, and inserts are going for a price in the triple digits. They are a neat little engineering gimmick. A friend of mine got one for Christmas when they first came out. God, it sure was expensive for something that was neat for a few days or so. I remember thinking "what a disappointment."

I look back now and think that they were actually beautifully designed and to Sony's credit it's probably the most well-known and most successful consumer grade household robot ever made. No company would ever dare take a chance on such a silly and expensive toy today. I could never justify it, but I really want one just for novelty and nostalgia. I imagine in 20 years they'll be looked on rather fondly.

AwwJeah has a new favorite as of 03:04 on Jul 21, 2015

# ? Jul 21, 2015 02:52

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

AwwJeah posted:

I look back now and think that they were actually beautifully designed and to Sony's credit it's probably the most well-known and most successful consumer grade household robot ever made. I could never justify it, but I really want one just for novelty and nostalgia. I imagine in 20 years they'll be looked on rather fondly.

Cleaning today and decided to go through my binder of instruction manuals for things that are long gone or just unnecessary to begin with, and found the directions for playing with Meowchi, the robot cat version of Furby. I'll scan them when I get the chance.

As much as I wanted to like my Furby (I genuinely was not freaked out by it, but I also never was afraid of clowns so I might just have poor taste) as a kid, it just wasn't fun for me to play with. I found a lot of virtual interaction toys to be that way- if they did too much of the "imagining" for me, it took a lot of the fun away. Meowchi likely suffered the same fate, especially since I had truly forgotten I'd ever had it until finding that instruction paper today.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 02:58

blugu64: Jul 17, 2006; Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

AwwJeah posted:

most successful consumer grade household robot ever made.

Roomba

# ? Jul 21, 2015 03:44

Doctor Bishop: Oct 22, 2013; To understand what happened at the diner, we use Mr. Papaya. This is upsetting because he is the friendliest of fruits.

AwwJeah posted:

I imagine in 20 years they'll be looked on rather fondly.

20 years nothing. In Japan, AIBO owners can get so attached to their robo-pets that they hold funerals when the things inevitably kick the bucket.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkX0Bg3mKEQ

# ? Jul 21, 2015 03:56

Wanamingo: Feb 22, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

AwwJeah posted:

You know, I appreciate that AIBOs are a thing if only because my lovely avatar wouldn't exist without them.

Doctor Bishop posted:

20 years nothing. In Japan, AIBO owners can get so attached to their robo-pets that they hold funerals when the things inevitably kick the bucket.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkX0Bg3mKEQ

Japanese people have some problems when it comes to interpersonal relationships, it seems.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 04:28

Arrath: Apr 14, 2011

Hahaha the first steam powered vibrator was invented in 1869. History is prefect and I'm still 13

# ? Jul 21, 2015 04:36

HairyManling: Jul 20, 2011; No flipping.; Fun Shoe

Wanamingo posted:

Japanese people have some problems when it comes to interpersonal relationships, it seems.

"Aoyama cites one man in his early 30s, a virgin, who can't get sexually aroused unless he watches female robots on a game similar to Power Rangers."

I feel like I'm playing keno while trying to decide which thread this quote works best in.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 07:42

Pitch: Jun 16, 2005; しらんけど

WebDog posted:

And print screen?

Code Jockey posted:

Holy poo poo, that's amazing.

What an interesting way to solve the issue of dumping screens to physical copies. I'm imagining some 80's business suit guy waving a gigantic Polaroid in the air, trying to speed up development of the quarterly earnings report

In college I used an electron microscope built in 1984, a Hitachi 570. Full manual controls, analog gauges for all status, and a monochrome green CRT for imaging. On the right side of the control console was a black column used for image capture. A sheet of Polaroid film goes into the top, and a switch on the controls shunts the video signal to another screen in the base of the "camera" assembly. I think this is the same model:

I never actually used it. Ours was hooked up through a serial cable and some black magic analog-to-digital conversion to an iMac. It was glitchy as hell, but way better than the Loch Ness resolution you got from the console screen.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 09:52

JnnyThndrs: May 29, 2001; HERE ARE THE FUCKING TOWELS

Dick Trauma posted:

Those don't work.

A++ #1 username/post combo

# ? Jul 21, 2015 14:51

Marius Pontmercy: Apr 2, 2007; Liberte
Egalite
Beyonce

Those screen capture devices remind me of microfilm and microfiche readers:

My junior and senior year of college, I worked for a professor whose entire body of research was contained on microfilm. Hundreds of rolls of it, which needed to be transcribed and categorized. If I go blind by age 30, it's because I spent 15 hours a week staring at that loving screen.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 16:00

drrockso20: May 6, 2013; Has Not Actually Done Cocaine

hailthefish posted:

Non-currency-related post (also not mine):

What is all that and how is it functioning?

# ? Jul 21, 2015 20:24

Lurking Haro: Oct 27, 2009

drrockso20 posted:

What is all that and how is it functioning?

It's a handheld SNES emulator playing a Sega Card Game through a tower of region and system adapters.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 20:57

hailthefish: Oct 24, 2010

drrockso20 posted:

What is all that and how is it functioning?

Reddit OP posted:

What we have here is clone of a SNES handheld.
MD Adapter - Allows SNES to play Mega Drive games.
Mark III Converter - Allows Mega Drive to play Mark III games
Mark Master Converter - I can't find anything on this, so I assume it's a custom build. Apparently it's a converter to allow for Master System to play Mark III games. Mark III is the first Japanese version of Master System.
Card Catcher - This was sold for SG-1000 so that the Sega My Card games could be played on it. The games weren't introduced until the Mark II, and the original SG-1000 didn't have the slot. Apparently it's also compatible with Master System.
Game. Can't tell which game, but it's a Sega Mark III My Card game.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 20:58

big parcheesi player: Apr 1, 2014; Also, I can kill you with my brain.

hailthefish posted:

Non-currency-related post (also not mine):

Reminds me of the good times with the Game Shark on the N64 or GameBoy, or the GameBoy cartridge adapter to use your Pokemon in Pokemon Stadium on N64.

# ? Jul 22, 2015 18:44

big parcheesi player: Apr 1, 2014; Also, I can kill you with my brain.

Sega Dreamcast, with the screen that goes in the controller, that of all different ones I played on (maybe 4) none of them had. Dreamcast was killed off by Sony and its PS2.

# ? Jul 22, 2015 18:49

Shrecknet: Jan 2, 2005

drgnwr1 posted:

Dreamcast was killed off by Sony and its PS2.

Wrong. Dreamcast was killed off by the widespread availability at the time of CDRs and CD Burners, and the fact that they did absolutely no piracy control whatsoever, so you could just burn a game onto a 40c disk and play immediately.

Piracy is generally just a response to an inefficient or overpriced market, but hooollleeee poo poo did Dreamcast screw the pooch on not making it at least marginally difficult.

# ? Jul 22, 2015 19:05

Imagined: Feb 2, 2007

drgnwr1 posted:

Sega Dreamcast, with the screen that goes in the controller, that of all different ones I played on (maybe 4) none of them had. Dreamcast was killed off by Sony and its PS2.

The VMUs were fun. The Dreamcast was a great system with probably the best ratio of good-vs-crap games in its library of any system ever but it was definitely a failure, and definitely full of obsolete technology. The 1X or 2X GD-ROM (instantly failed and obsolete) drive that sounds like a jet engine in normal use, that SEGA went with when DVD was already on the horizon. The 56K modem instead of a LAN port. No options for wireless controllers. Only one analog stick on the controller.

Everblight posted:

Wrong. Dreamcast was killed off by the widespread availability at the time of CDRs and CD Burners, and the fact that they did absolutely no piracy control whatsoever, so you could just burn a game onto a 40c disk and play immediately.

Piracy is generally just a response to an inefficient or overpriced market, but hooollleeee poo poo did Dreamcast screw the pooch on not making it at least marginally difficult.

I'd like to see support for this because it sure sounds to me like it was directly falling hardware sales coupled with a new President of SEGA who was down on them being in the console business at all. The reported back that the average Dreamcast owner bought 8 games (which is phenomenally good for a console, I think) seems to say piracy wasn't too big of a hit.

Wikipedia posted:

Moore stated that the Dreamcast would need to sell 5 million units in the U.S. by the end of 2000 in order to remain a viable platform, but Sega ultimately fell short of this goal with some 3 million units sold.[66][104] Moreover, Sega's attempts to spur increased Dreamcast sales through lower prices and cash rebates caused escalating financial losses.[105] Instead of an expected profit, for the six months ending September 2000 Sega posted a �17.98 billion ($163.11 million) loss, with the company projecting a year-end loss of �23.6 billion.[106] This estimate was more than doubled to �58.3 billion,[107] and in March 2001 Sega posted a consolidated net loss of �51.7 billion ($417.5 million).[108] While the PS2's October 26 U.S. launch was marred by shortages�with only 500,000 of a planned 1 million units shipped due to a manufacturing glitch�this did not benefit the Dreamcast as much as expected, as many disappointed consumers continued to wait for a PS2�while the PSone, a remodeled version of the original PlayStation, was the best-selling console in the U.S. at the start of the 2000 holiday season.[66][109][110] According to Moore, "the PlayStation 2 effect that we were relying upon did not work for us ... people will hang on for as long as possible ... What effectively happened is the PlayStation 2 lack of availability froze the marketplace".[111] Eventually, Sony and Nintendo held 50 and 35 percent of the US video game market, respectively, while Sega held only 15 percent.[32] According to Bellfield, Dreamcast software sold at an 8-to-1 ratio with the hardware, but this ratio "on a small install base didn't give us the revenue ... to keep this platform viable in the medium to long term."[112]

On May 22, 2000 Okawa replaced Iramajiri as president of Sega.[113] Okawa had long openly advocated that Sega abandon the console business.[114] His sentiments were not unique; Sega co-founder David Rosen had "always felt it was a bit of a folly for them to be limiting their potential to Sega hardware", and Stolar had previously suggested that Sega should have sold their company to Microsoft.[17][115] In September 2000, in a meeting with Sega's Japanese executives and the heads of the company's major Japanese game development studios, Moore and Bellfield recommended that Sega abandon its console business and focus solely on software�prompting the studio heads to walk out.[33] Nevertheless, on January 31, 2001 Sega announced the discontinuation of the Dreamcast after March 31 and the restructuring of the company as a "platform-agnostic" third-party developer.[116][117] The decision was Moore's.

Imagined has a new favorite as of 19:17 on Jul 22, 2015

# ? Jul 22, 2015 19:05

Mu Zeta: Oct 17, 2002; Me crush ass to dust

Sega also pissed off EA and didn't get any EA games. Not like Madden is a popular game.

# ? Jul 22, 2015 19:12

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Everblight posted:

Wrong. Dreamcast was killed off by the widespread availability at the time of CDRs and CD Burners, and the fact that they did absolutely no piracy control whatsoever, so you could just burn a game onto a 40c disk and play immediately.

Piracy is generally just a response to an inefficient or overpriced market, but hooollleeee poo poo did Dreamcast screw the pooch on not making it at least marginally difficult.

No. It was the PS2 and its DVD player that killed the Dreamcast.Their poor third party relationships after the disastrous Sega CD/32X/Saturn failures didn't help. The Dreamcast eventually became really easy to pirate things on, but it wasn't initially as trivial to do as you described.

# ? Jul 22, 2015 19:16

JediTalentAgent: Jun 5, 2005; Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

I thought part of the story with EA was that EA stated themselves they'd only support the DC if sold a certain number of systems at the launch window, which it ended up doing. Then EA declared, "Nope, still not going to do it."

Didn't Sega eventually try to strike out at EA a bit during the post-DC PS2 era by releasing their own 2K Sports games at a much cheaper price that EAs similar offerings?

edit:

Sega had a tendency in the 90s to really mess up relationships with other companies, though.
-The Nomad and Saturn had exclusive pre-launch deals with some gaming and toy stores. As a result, KB Toys pretty much refused to carry either device or any Saturn products at all when they officially released.
-Sega made Hollywood Video the official video store of the Dreamcast. This lead several Blockbusters to not carry any DC games for the first 6 months or so of its release.

JediTalentAgent has a new favorite as of 19:21 on Jul 22, 2015

# ? Jul 22, 2015 19:19

Imagined: Feb 2, 2007

Last Chance posted:

No. It was the PS2 and its DVD player that killed the Dreamcast.Their poor third party relationships after the disastrous Sega CD/32X/Saturn failures didn't help. The Dreamcast eventually became really easy to pirate things on, but it wasn't initially as trivial to do as you described.

This. The 1GB capacity of the GD-Rom discs meant that for games that took up the whole disc (Grandia, for example, or Skies of Arcadia), audio and cutscenes had to be cut or compressed by the scene to make them fit on 700MB CD-Rs, and often made a lot of the game look (or sound) like rear end. Also broadband internet was just becoming a thing for even big cities in 2000, and most people didn't have the ability to download 700MB files conveniently then.

JediTalentAgent posted:

I thought part of the story with EA was that EA stated themselves they'd only support the DC if sold a certain number of systems at the launch window, which it ended up doing. Then EA declared, "Nope, still not going to do it."

Didn't Sega eventually try to strike out at EA a bit during the post-DC PS2 era by releasing their own 2K Sports games at a much cheaper price that EAs similar offerings?

Not to mention that the 2K Sports games on the Dreamcast were superior to their EA counterparts at the time. EA eventually beat 2K by buying up all the exclusive licenses to use official players and stats, not by making better games. The main people who bought Dreamcast were people who wanted to play those sports games. They even released a "sports" edition:

Imagined has a new favorite as of 19:29 on Jul 22, 2015

# ? Jul 22, 2015 19:19

Antifreeze Head: Jun 6, 2005; It begins; Pillbug

Everblight posted:

Wrong. Dreamcast was killed off by the widespread availability at the time of CDRs and CD Burners, and the fact that they did absolutely no piracy control whatsoever, so you could just burn a game onto a 40c disk and play immediately.

Piracy is generally just a response to an inefficient or overpriced market, but hooollleeee poo poo did Dreamcast screw the pooch on not making it at least marginally difficult.

It wasn't dead simple to get the game ready as an ISO, but once that work was done it was pretty simple.

Better than the Sega CD I guess which had no copy protection what so ever, though at the time the fact it was on CD was its copy protection as commercial burners were approximately two console generations away.

EA abandoning them didn't help either.

# ? Jul 22, 2015 19:22

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

drgnwr1 posted:

Sega Dreamcast, with the screen that goes in the controller, that of all different ones I played on (maybe 4) none of them had. Dreamcast was killed off by Sony and its PS2.

I remember the ads in magazines: "Buy a Dreamcast and get a DVD player for free!". Can't blame retailers for not trying.

# ? Jul 22, 2015 19:23

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# ? May 28, 2024 18:19

Zereth: Jul 9, 2003

Last Chance posted:

No. It was the PS2 and its DVD player that killed the Dreamcast.

The PS2 was, as I recall, one of the earliest affordable decent quality DVD players available, too. hat was an absolutely killer advantage.

# ? Jul 22, 2015 19:35

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Post the very best in obsolete and failed technology

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