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Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

I just want to find a venue in upstate NY or western-middle CT that will be able to accommodate 50 people in October on a Saturday and be able to offer on site lodgings. I'm expecting to pay 150/pp so I don't think I'm being unreasonable.

Anyone have recommendations?

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daggerdragon
Jan 22, 2006

My titan engine can kick your titan engine's ass.

Dazerbeams posted:

I just want to find a venue in upstate NY or western-middle CT that will be able to accommodate 50 people in October on a Saturday and be able to offer on site lodgings. I'm expecting to pay 150/pp so I don't think I'm being unreasonable.

Anyone have recommendations?

Upstate is pretty big. You need to narrow it down, otherwise we can give you suggestions from Jamestown to Albany...

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Something along the NY/CT border, going out to either Poughkeepsie and Hartford. My family is from New York City and fiance's family is from Boston area so I was hoping for something about two hours away from both parties, with some flexibility in travel time coming from one direction or the other.

OssiansFolly
Aug 3, 2012

Suffering at the factory of sadness every year.
Okay, I am doing the final bit of budgeting for my wedding in October, and want some opinions on tipping. I want to tip the Limo Driver, Servers and Bartenders BEFORE the day so hopefully it will make them happier to be serving my guests. Does anyone have an idea how much is a good tip? $25? $50? $100?

smackfu
Jun 7, 2004

Anyone do (or doing) a DIY photo booth? I figure I can use our iPad plus $150 of stuff (Selphy AirPlay printer, tripod, mount) and get the same idea as what they are charging $500+ for. And the printer is the priciest piece and we get to keep that (or sell it.)

Our friends did a setup with an SLR and a remote shutter on a timer, and that worked well and gave really nice photos, but the guests couldn't see the results until a few days after, so not quite a real photobooth.

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.

smackfu posted:

Anyone do (or doing) a DIY photo booth? I figure I can use our iPad plus $150 of stuff (Selphy AirPlay printer, tripod, mount) and get the same idea as what they are charging $500+ for. And the printer is the priciest piece and we get to keep that (or sell it.)

Our friends did a setup with an SLR and a remote shutter on a timer, and that worked well and gave really nice photos, but the guests couldn't see the results until a few days after, so not quite a real photobooth.

What about lighting and backdrops and props? By the time you purchase all of those you're going to get pretty close to the price of just renting one. The camera of any portable device is going to turn out pretty lovely pictures compared to a professional setup or a DIY with a DSLR camera, especially at an evening affair where lighting will be a challenge as well.

smackfu
Jun 7, 2004

OssiansFolly posted:

Okay, I am doing the final bit of budgeting for my wedding in October, and want some opinions on tipping. I want to tip the Limo Driver, Servers and Bartenders BEFORE the day so hopefully it will make them happier to be serving my guests. Does anyone have an idea how much is a good tip? $25? $50? $100?

I mean, it's kind of weird. That's not how people usually tip. And usually a pre-tip would give the expectation of a larger tip afterwards.

Even tipping out servers individually is kind of unusual. We gave people $20 at my brother's wedding and they were very happy. They are probably only making $25 an hour at most so a $100 tip would be... a lot.

smackfu fucked around with this message at 14:31 on Jul 14, 2015

LogisticEarth
Mar 28, 2004

Someone once told me, "Time is a flat circle".
Having done a few catering stints and having a wife who used to be a catering server, a $20-40 tip per server is about standard and left us satisfied. Always given at the end, typically as a pack of individual envelopes for each server.

$100 per server is a huge tip. They'll certainly be happy but it's not necessary to go that big. We would typically make $100-140 from wages alone (pre-tip) so the standard pay and tip was already fairly good.

And no need to tip in advance. If you have worry that the caterers need a tip beforehand to not be assholes to your guests, then you need a new caterer. Just be friendly to the staff and treat them like humans rather than 'the help' and you'll be fine.

LogisticEarth fucked around with this message at 16:16 on Jul 14, 2015

OssiansFolly
Aug 3, 2012

Suffering at the factory of sadness every year.

smackfu posted:

I mean, it's kind of weird. That's not how people usually tip. And usually a pre-tip would give the expectation of a larger tip afterwards.

Even tipping out servers individually is kind of unusual. We gave people $20 at my brother's wedding and they were very happy. They are probably only making $25 an hour at most so a $100 tip would be... a lot.

I just feel that if I buy a nice "Thank you" card for each of them, include a short note about being thankful for their help on such a big and stressful day, and toss them $25 or something that they will be happier to be working the event. I know the law of averages says that with almost 200 people at the reception SOMEONE will be a dick to one of the servers/bartenders/etc., and I don't want that to hurt the service.

Nicol Bolas
Feb 13, 2009

OssiansFolly posted:

I just feel that if I buy a nice "Thank you" card for each of them, include a short note about being thankful for their help on such a big and stressful day, and toss them $25 or something that they will be happier to be working the event. I know the law of averages says that with almost 200 people at the reception SOMEONE will be a dick to one of the servers/bartenders/etc., and I don't want that to hurt the service.

Servers are used to rear end in a top hat customers. They are more likely to be weirded out by you trying to buck the system and weasel better service out of them by tipping in advance than they are to be fazed by your rear end in a top hat drunk uncle Steve.

If you really want good service, tell them in advance that they can take home any open bottles at the end.

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.
Gratuity is already included in a lot of catering contracts and stuff, and if they're professional wedding vendors they do this every weekend. They're not doing you a huge favor or taking time they'd normally have off to do it-- it's their job. They're used to it. They know what comes with the territory, they deal with a drunk Uncle Steve at least once a week if not more. For tipping give a designated trustworthy person a handful of 20s and instruct them to distribute them to the various service providers, because guaranteed you're going to be too busy the day of to remember to do it yourself. We tipped our string quartet extra because they were college kids and not professionals so in that case they were taking time they normally had off to help with our wedding so they got extra beer money from us.

If you have a guest you know will be a giant rear end in a top hat, discreetly assign someone else to keep an eye on them and wrangle them if need be. I had a guest who was threatening to start poo poo with another guest so one of my friends volunteered to keep an eye specifically on that one person and to intervene if it looked like something was going to happen.

KasioDiscoRock
Nov 17, 2000

Are you alive?
What about for a stag and doe? Ours is this weekend (and yes we're in an area where these are common and expected so please no arguing about the simple fact of having one).
Unlike most stag and does, we aren't getting any cut of the bar sales at all, it's completely separate and being run by the venue. Instead of a tip jar, we want to put a "wedding fund" jar and just tip the bartenders ourselves in advance. There are 2 bartenders for 5 hours, is $50 each reasonable?

OssiansFolly
Aug 3, 2012

Suffering at the factory of sadness every year.

Nicol Bolas posted:

Servers are used to rear end in a top hat customers. They are more likely to be weirded out by you trying to buck the system and weasel better service out of them by tipping in advance than they are to be fazed by your rear end in a top hat drunk uncle Steve.

If you really want good service, tell them in advance that they can take home any open bottles at the end.

Hell no they can't have my booze. I have a ton of extra and I know it...giving them that would be like 20 bottles of wine and a dozen bottles of hard liquor.

Nicol Bolas
Feb 13, 2009

OssiansFolly posted:

Hell no they can't have my booze. I have a ton of extra and I know it...giving them that would be like 20 bottles of wine and a dozen bottles of hard liquor.

You want particularly attentive service and very happy servers, that's much better way to get it than your plan. Sorry you don't like the solution that will get you what you want and won't make things weird or awkward or take extra effort / time on a day when you are already going to be wildly overtaxed. Just tip like a normal human, dude.

OssiansFolly
Aug 3, 2012

Suffering at the factory of sadness every year.

Nicol Bolas posted:

You want particularly attentive service and very happy servers, that's much better way to get it than your plan. Sorry you don't like the solution that will get you what you want and won't make things weird or awkward or take extra effort / time on a day when you are already going to be wildly overtaxed. Just tip like a normal human, dude.

You mean with money...and a thank you card...like I planned to?

Hutla
Jun 5, 2004

It's mechanical

KasioDiscoRock posted:

Instead of a tip jar, we want to put a "wedding fund" jar and just tip the bartenders ourselves in advance. There are 2 bartenders for 5 hours, is $50 each reasonable?

Absolutely not. I work as a bartender and my hourly tips average $25 per hour. You want to give them $10 per hour for what promises to be a busy night. Tips are what they pay their rent and bills with, its not beer and pizza money.

Nicol Bolas
Feb 13, 2009

OssiansFolly posted:

You mean with money...and a thank you card...like I planned to?

The weird part is the "before" part. Tip after.

OssiansFolly
Aug 3, 2012

Suffering at the factory of sadness every year.

Nicol Bolas posted:

The weird part is the "before" part. Tip after.

After what is going to be 12 hours of be getting thoroughly raked over the coals emotionally and physically as I a taken all over the city for pictures, a ceremony and then a reception where I will be drinking for likely 12+ hours? Seems likely that I will remember to tip all the staff (most will have likely left by midnight since food is done) after I am finished with the reception for the night. Your way sounds a lot harder...


Hutla posted:

Absolutely not. I work as a bartender and my hourly tips average $25 per hour. You want to give them $10 per hour for what promises to be a busy night. Tips are what they pay their rent and bills with, its not beer and pizza money.

It isn't likely that the bartenders are getting paid strictly on tips though. Working as a bartender at a bar is one thing, and working at a wedding is another. I know my reception location requires that we pay the bartenders $100/ea. prior to the wedding. I don't think I've ever heard of a special event bartender working for tips when it is an open bar.

Nicol Bolas
Feb 13, 2009

OssiansFolly posted:

After what is going to be 12 hours of be getting thoroughly raked over the coals emotionally and physically as I a taken all over the city for pictures, a ceremony and then a reception where I will be drinking for likely 12+ hours? Seems likely that I will remember to tip all the staff (most will have likely left by midnight since food is done) after I am finished with the reception for the night. Your way sounds a lot harder...

Then do it however you want? You clearly have the way you're gonna do things stuck in your brain and nothing anyone says here is gonna change that, so do whatever the gently caress you want and stop asking for advice when you have clearly already figured it out. You've made your decisions, so commit to them with the same confidence that you're disagreeing with the advice you're getting and stop stressing about it.

Mind_Taker
May 7, 2007



If you want to tip them before then fine, it seems a bit weird but I guess it'll work out. But it isn't difficult to tip after the event either. Figure out what you want to tip the staff before your wedding day and put the money in labelled envelopes (catering staff, DJ, donation to officiant's church if applicable, etc.) and give it to your best man and tell him to hand out the envelopes at the end of the wedding. Best man isn't just a ceremonial position, give him a little bit of responsibility so you can enjoy your wedding day.

smackfu
Jun 7, 2004

Yes, a traditional best man duty is to tip. It's like one of their three duties, so I think they should be able to handle it.

Hutla
Jun 5, 2004

It's mechanical

OssiansFolly posted:

It isn't likely that the bartenders are getting paid strictly on tips though. Working as a bartender at a bar is one thing, and working at a wedding is another. I know my reception location requires that we pay the bartenders $100/ea. prior to the wedding. I don't think I've ever heard of a special event bartender working for tips when it is an open bar.

This isn't for the wedding, it's for the Jack and Jill party, which is being held at a bar where the guests are charged per drink.

KasioDiscoRock
Nov 17, 2000

Are you alive?

Hutla posted:

Absolutely not. I work as a bartender and my hourly tips average $25 per hour. You want to give them $10 per hour for what promises to be a busy night. Tips are what they pay their rent and bills with, its not beer and pizza money.

Ok, that's fair, we'd originally been planning $100-$150 but then I saw someone else in this thread say something about $20-40 being reasonable. This is actually really helpful, thanks, that's why I asked.

I think we've decided to just leave tips as tips and put our wedding fund piggy bank over on the raffle table anyway so that it's one less detail we have to think about. People can just tip as normal and whatever will be will be.

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat
Is there any written etiquette on where to hold a bachelor party? I'm trying to help plan mine and right now we're looking at doing it where I live. Another option is doing where the wedding is being held, which is a nine-hour drive or $500 round-trip plane ticket to get to. It would be easier for most of the people I invited to do it at the second location, is it more appropriate for me to go over there if I can? My vision for my party is to just go out and drink a bunch and do some dumb guy stuff like paintball, so it's kind of location-agnostic. And FWIW my fiancée is traveling for her bachelorette party but she almost decided not to have one and is just going to crash on her MOH's couch for a weekend to hang out with her and another bridesmaid.

OssiansFolly
Aug 3, 2012

Suffering at the factory of sadness every year.

C-Euro posted:

Is there any written etiquette on where to hold a bachelor party? I'm trying to help plan mine and right now we're looking at doing it where I live. Another option is doing where the wedding is being held, which is a nine-hour drive or $500 round-trip plane ticket to get to. It would be easier for most of the people I invited to do it at the second location, is it more appropriate for me to go over there if I can? My vision for my party is to just go out and drink a bunch and do some dumb guy stuff like paintball, so it's kind of location-agnostic. And FWIW my fiancée is traveling for her bachelorette party but she almost decided not to have one and is just going to crash on her MOH's couch for a weekend to hang out with her and another bridesmaid.

Pretty sure it is a day/weekend for you to do what you want to do. Just know that if it costs too much and your friends suck they may not all go. I'm doing a camping weekend on Put in Bay Island in Lake Erie for a weekend which is 2 hours away from me. Basically 2 nights of camping and heavily drinking in a summer town that pretty much exists to party. Most people find that reasonable and will come along, but when I wanted to go to Canada and drink and see strippers for a weekend everyone balked due to needing a passport, and people being cheap.

Tenacious J
Nov 20, 2002

I just bought an engagement ring (first time!) and have slowly realized my plans around rings aren't traditional - not that her or I are especially traditional people... Do you think these plans are ok?

I thought that the "wedding ring" was the "big" expensive and nice one - not engagement. I also wasn't able to bring a big budget to bare on this. Essentially I picked out a good quality and nice looking albeit small engagement ring around the $800 mark. The jeweler said that at any time it can be returned for the full price I paid, which I can then use to buy another ring. I figured that since the engagement is a surprise and the wedding won't be, we could both come in before the ceremony and pick out a much nicer ring that she loves as a trade-up from the engagement ring.

After talking to my mother about this she suggested that it isn't the best plan - people don't really do that. I don't see why it wouldn't work though, I mean even if she doesn't want to trade in the engagement ring that's fine it would still look nice next to a bigger wedding ring.

The alternative to this plan is delaying our engagement several months at least while I save up.

Polo-Rican
Jul 4, 2004

emptyquote my posts or die
Does anyone know of a good resource to find good, independent DJs? I'm doing tons of research and only finding:

• DJs who work for larger entertainment companies, no prices listed on website, have to fill out like 600 fields before even getting a quote, then they turn out to be way too expensive or not available on the given date, even though their website explicitly said they were available on that date
• Anonymous guys with names like "DJ Jimmy" with no photos of themselves, no website, no reviews, only a facebook page with a phone number

Surely there must be some independent DJs out there who aren't lovely?

Polo-Rican fucked around with this message at 23:09 on Jul 20, 2015

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.

Polo-Rican posted:

Does anyone know of a good resource to find good, independent DJs? I'm doing tons of research and only finding:

• DJs who work for larger entertainment companies, no prices listed on website, have to fill out like 600 fields before even getting a quote, then they turn out to be way too expensive or not available on the given date, even though their website explicitly said they were available on that date
• Anonymous guys with names like "DJ Jimmy" with no photos of themselves, no website, no reviews, only a facebook page with a phone number

Surely there must be some independent DJs out there who aren't lovely?

Do you have a venue booked? If you do, ask the event coordinator at your venue and they can give you some suggestions. If you don't, good old Google and The Knot and Wedding Wire and such are your best bet. A lot of independent DJs have business names for themselves and refer to themselves in the plural even if it's just one guy and an assistant, the guy we used was just one dude but he had a company name and looked ultra professional online.

Is there any reason why you're looking for an independent DJ specifically? There's nothing wrong with going with a larger entertainment company, in fact it might be better in case something happens since they'll have a backup on standby. Our DJ threw out his back the day before our wedding and couldn't stand for very long, we managed to set up a chair for him to DJ from so everything was fine but if he'd hurt himself more severely we'd be up poo poo creek.

KasioDiscoRock
Nov 17, 2000

Are you alive?

Tenacious J posted:

I just bought an engagement ring (first time!) and have slowly realized my plans around rings aren't traditional - not that her or I are especially traditional people... Do you think these plans are ok?

I thought that the "wedding ring" was the "big" expensive and nice one - not engagement. I also wasn't able to bring a big budget to bare on this. Essentially I picked out a good quality and nice looking albeit small engagement ring around the $800 mark. The jeweler said that at any time it can be returned for the full price I paid, which I can then use to buy another ring. I figured that since the engagement is a surprise and the wedding won't be, we could both come in before the ceremony and pick out a much nicer ring that she loves as a trade-up from the engagement ring.

After talking to my mother about this she suggested that it isn't the best plan - people don't really do that. I don't see why it wouldn't work though, I mean even if she doesn't want to trade in the engagement ring that's fine it would still look nice next to a bigger wedding ring.

The alternative to this plan is delaying our engagement several months at least while I save up.

It really depends on your lady. My fiancé bought my engagement ring for about $300 and we have no plans to upgrade it at any point. But we are getting custom wedding bands made for about $1300 each because we felt they were more important to splurge on than the engagement ring. So your plan sounds great to me, and frankly it's possible that she won't even want to upgrade her ring, but you know her better than us so it really depends on what you think she'd like.

Max
Nov 30, 2002

Only reason that may be an issue is if you buy a ring and she wants to exchange it, but doesn't like anything else the jeweler is selling. What do you do in that scenario?

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat
What's an appropriate level of nagging when it comes to finding stray RSVPs? I have a couple friends who still haven't returned RSVPs to me (which are technically due tomorrow), I've messaged both and heard "oh poo poo we moved, the RSVP never got to us!" then nothing else from one, and nothing at all from the other. Obviously I'd like them both to come but at this point wouldn't be crestfallen if they declined, I just want to give them both a fair chance of responding. Last time I sent something to either of them was Sunday, maybe call/text them today to say "Hey just tell me over the phone and I'll write you down, then send an actual paper RSVP if you are coming".

ilysespieces
Oct 5, 2009

When life becomes too painful, sometimes it's better to just become a drunk.

C-Euro posted:

What's an appropriate level of nagging when it comes to finding stray RSVPs? I have a couple friends who still haven't returned RSVPs to me (which are technically due tomorrow), I've messaged both and heard "oh poo poo we moved, the RSVP never got to us!" then nothing else from one, and nothing at all from the other. Obviously I'd like them both to come but at this point wouldn't be crestfallen if they declined, I just want to give them both a fair chance of responding. Last time I sent something to either of them was Sunday, maybe call/text them today to say "Hey just tell me over the phone and I'll write you down, then send an actual paper RSVP if you are coming".

When do you need to have your numbers in to your venue/caterer/mom's house/whatever? Tell them "hey, we absolutely need final numbers by x date (probably a couple of days before your actual hard deadline), if we don't hear from you by then, either way, we'll mark you down as a no. We'll make plans to hang out next time you're in town/on this planet/not rude about rsvps"

Though they do still have time to return them and you shouldn't start chasing people down until a couple of days after your deadline, people sometimes throw things in the mail last minute or think the "rsvp by" date is when it has to go out, not be received by you. Obviously it doesn't help now, but nagging starts after the deadline.

OssiansFolly
Aug 3, 2012

Suffering at the factory of sadness every year.

Polo-Rican posted:

Does anyone know of a good resource to find good, independent DJs? I'm doing tons of research and only finding:

• DJs who work for larger entertainment companies, no prices listed on website, have to fill out like 600 fields before even getting a quote, then they turn out to be way too expensive or not available on the given date, even though their website explicitly said they were available on that date
• Anonymous guys with names like "DJ Jimmy" with no photos of themselves, no website, no reviews, only a facebook page with a phone number

Surely there must be some independent DJs out there who aren't lovely?

That is how most things in the entertainment business are...decorations, table cloths, DJs, catering, limos, etc. will all make you call and talk to them so they can sell you on their service. I personally refused to use any DJ for a wedding that went by any name other than their given name on their birth certificate...I don't want DJ Phat Beats at my wedding because he sounds like a douche.


C-Euro posted:

What's an appropriate level of nagging when it comes to finding stray RSVPs? I have a couple friends who still haven't returned RSVPs to me (which are technically due tomorrow), I've messaged both and heard "oh poo poo we moved, the RSVP never got to us!" then nothing else from one, and nothing at all from the other. Obviously I'd like them both to come but at this point wouldn't be crestfallen if they declined, I just want to give them both a fair chance of responding. Last time I sent something to either of them was Sunday, maybe call/text them today to say "Hey just tell me over the phone and I'll write you down, then send an actual paper RSVP if you are coming".

Actually CALL them and put them on the spot. There should be no reason they can't give you some form of a response.

Tagichatn
Jun 7, 2009

Ok so I really need some help. My fiancée is being totally worn down by this wedding so I've been handling more of it but most of the problems are coming from her mom. Don't worry, this isn't a personal question but the latest issue is that we're running out of expensive stuff on our registry. Her mom thinks we should just add more stuff but at this point we really don't need much kitchen stuff. We're both adults that cook a lot and have been living together for a while so we're set on most kitchen stuff. Even on Amazon we have movies and stuff to pad it but I don't know what else to add.

Anyway, my question is should we just ask for money on the website or not do anything and let people figure it out when the registry is empty? It doesn't help that some crazy people have already bought like 5 things off our registry for the engagement and early wedding presents. I'm really not keen on adding poo poo I don't want just to return it for cash (which you can do at Bed Bath and Beyond) as that seems like kind of a lovely thing to do to people that just want to give a nice gift. What do people think of something like a honeyfund?

OssiansFolly
Aug 3, 2012

Suffering at the factory of sadness every year.

Tagichatn posted:

Ok so I really need some help. My fiancée is being totally worn down by this wedding so I've been handling more of it but most of the problems are coming from her mom. Don't worry, this isn't a personal question but the latest issue is that we're running out of expensive stuff on our registry. Her mom thinks we should just add more stuff but at this point we really don't need much kitchen stuff. We're both adults that cook a lot and have been living together for a while so we're set on most kitchen stuff. Even on Amazon we have movies and stuff to pad it but I don't know what else to add.

Anyway, my question is should we just ask for money on the website or not do anything and let people figure it out when the registry is empty? It doesn't help that some crazy people have already bought like 5 things off our registry for the engagement and early wedding presents. I'm really not keen on adding poo poo I don't want just to return it for cash (which you can do at Bed Bath and Beyond) as that seems like kind of a lovely thing to do to people that just want to give a nice gift. What do people think of something like a honeyfund?

I don't see any problem with honeyfund as long as you have a place you plan to go. I've seen lots of people use it. I personally have 3 places we registered and I don't take things off one registry if it is bought on one of the other. If we get duplicates we return it...

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.

C-Euro posted:

What's an appropriate level of nagging when it comes to finding stray RSVPs? I have a couple friends who still haven't returned RSVPs to me (which are technically due tomorrow), I've messaged both and heard "oh poo poo we moved, the RSVP never got to us!" then nothing else from one, and nothing at all from the other. Obviously I'd like them both to come but at this point wouldn't be crestfallen if they declined, I just want to give them both a fair chance of responding. Last time I sent something to either of them was Sunday, maybe call/text them today to say "Hey just tell me over the phone and I'll write you down, then send an actual paper RSVP if you are coming".

Everyone on our list got contacted once then marked as a no if they wouldn't cough up a response. If they've dragged their feet this long they're not planning on coming. If they do show up and don't have a seat/meal that's their fault. Don't waste too much time on it. I'd give it 3-4 days after your deadline for stray last minute ones to show up in the mail then start calling people.

Tagichatn posted:

Ok so I really need some help. My fiancée is being totally worn down by this wedding so I've been handling more of it but most of the problems are coming from her mom. Don't worry, this isn't a personal question but the latest issue is that we're running out of expensive stuff on our registry. Her mom thinks we should just add more stuff but at this point we really don't need much kitchen stuff. We're both adults that cook a lot and have been living together for a while so we're set on most kitchen stuff. Even on Amazon we have movies and stuff to pad it but I don't know what else to add.

Anyway, my question is should we just ask for money on the website or not do anything and let people figure it out when the registry is empty? It doesn't help that some crazy people have already bought like 5 things off our registry for the engagement and early wedding presents. I'm really not keen on adding poo poo I don't want just to return it for cash (which you can do at Bed Bath and Beyond) as that seems like kind of a lovely thing to do to people that just want to give a nice gift. What do people think of something like a honeyfund?

I would just not do anything and let people cut you a check or buy you a gift card to one of your registry locations. I know Macy's does a thing where you can put a gift card on your registry and people can load it up with money.

We asked for donations for our dogs' boarding expenses on ours since we got married out of state and boarding two dogs for over a week was $$$

smackfu
Jun 7, 2004

Grrr, vendors bragging about their five star reviews on Wedding Wire when they are so full of fakes. They don't even make the barest effort, and Wedding Wire makes it crystal clear if the user only wrote a single vendor review. And you'd think they would realize that having 5 reviews with a wedding date in January would be a little suspicious.

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords

We're looking at doing a honeymoon fund (trip to Spain) instead of registering for wedding gifts. We just tried out Wanderable. It looks nice but the service fee is either higher than Honeyfund or the curated items actually pay the service provider and then you have to try and co-ordinate with the place or tour or whatever. About half of the curated items I look at had links to non-existent websites in the billing details. Can anyone recommend a honeymoon fund provider? Honeyfund looks fine so far, but just now I'm wondering what catch I'm not seeing yet.

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat

Aquatic Giraffe posted:

Everyone on our list got contacted once then marked as a no if they wouldn't cough up a response. If they've dragged their feet this long they're not planning on coming. If they do show up and don't have a seat/meal that's their fault. Don't waste too much time on it. I'd give it 3-4 days after your deadline for stray last minute ones to show up in the mail then start calling people.

Eh, the one guy who moved between when we mailed our Save The Dates and the actual invites gets a pass, as it's technically not his fault that he hasn't replied (though you're supposed to change your address with the USPS, at least I do every time I move). No one else has an excuse though, our RSVPs are due today and nearly a third of our guest list has yet to respond, including my own brother and sister. It's not that hard people, I even stamped the return envelopes! And you know where to get at me if you have questions. Come on y'all :negative:

C-Euro fucked around with this message at 12:22 on Jul 22, 2015

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Tagichatn
Jun 7, 2009

Thanks for all the tips guys and gals, I think we're going to go with a honeymoon fund as that seems a bit better than people getting frustrated at the lack of gifts.

LLSix posted:

Can anyone recommend a honeymoon fund provider? Honeyfund looks fine so far, but just now I'm wondering what catch I'm not seeing yet.

Zola also seems like a good option too as it's slightly less of a fee than honeyfund. They're more focused on items than honeymoon like honeyfund but you can just put honeymoon related items, even copy from honeyfund for ideas. I don't think it has ads like honeyfund either; those cost $20 to remove.

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