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"Yeah well, Bill Cosby's a rapist!"
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 02:58 |
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# ? Jun 7, 2024 02:13 |
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Borden posted:
Bill "Caw"sby
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 03:40 |
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"Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack burned off his loving dick! CAW!"
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 04:50 |
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"And that's why we're called MOCKcaw parrots. Haha!"
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 07:15 |
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"Man, I've heard of robbing the cradle but this is ridiculous!"
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 07:29 |
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quote:I HAVE A PARROT HEAD!!! BAHHA ASDFSDASDF!!!!
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 07:34 |
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"He started sleeping like this ever since he became a congressman."
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 07:36 |
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"So I says to the genie, "Cor, d'ya reckon I could get some head off that bird?" And the next thing you know... here I am!"
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 07:37 |
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simplefish posted:
Lol'd irl
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 11:52 |
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"University safe space"
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 14:08 |
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"He's tuckered out from making so many posts in the New York Caption Contest thread on Somethingawful dot com."
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 19:18 |
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People just assume I'm a Jimmy Buffet fan, but I'm more of a Flock of Seagulls guy.
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 19:35 |
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"Oh, everyone makes that mistake. It's actually a portable grain silo!"
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 19:42 |
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“Welcome to the New Flesh” “Ia! Ia! Cthulhu f’thagn!” “Help me out, hon! I’m trying to show my brother how big your vagina is. Are my arms far enough apart?”
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 22:04 |
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What, this isn't what you meant when you said you wanted to play doctor?
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 02:24 |
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"Let me show you our...HOLY poo poo FLOATING GUNS."
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 03:10 |
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 04:24 |
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"As a fellow Jew [...]"
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 07:48 |
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WHERE IS HE!?!?! Hulebr00670065006e fucked around with this message at 09:31 on Aug 5, 2015 |
# ? Aug 5, 2015 09:26 |
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'I'm just confused about why Waldo wears a bra?'
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 11:02 |
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finally, i understand the cuck meme
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 12:02 |
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"What...What have you done? Was I not enough for you? After ten years of marriage...Christ Mary, what about the children? What if they had come in to find you like this? Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening...Oh god..."
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 15:53 |
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carlos mencia at the peak of his career
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 15:57 |
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"But if it was a fit of passion, why are his glasses placed neatly on the nightstand? And judging by how thick they are, how did he even find his way out? Is this just a cry for help, Sarah?"
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 15:58 |
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"Anyone else want to be a hero?"
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:02 |
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"I'll stop talking into your insulin pump after I'm done with announcements"
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:03 |
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'This aircraft has a Three-star NCAP rating as every seat now has its own airbag'
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:09 |
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'Well the average movie theater has between seventy or eighty seats, so you're gonna want to buy the extended clip."
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:21 |
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"This is gonna be so awesome."
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:27 |
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"She sure puts out more than my last girlfriend"
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:29 |
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"You're asking me whether it's really necessary to own a fully automatic assault rifle as a private citizen? Well let me ask you this: Was it 'really necessary' for the New Yorker to print not one but two cartoons of a guy just buying a gun from a gun store without any visual gag whatsoever? No, but they did it anyway, because this is America, goddammit. I think I've made my point."
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:33 |
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"...and long story short, I had to get it about this far in to dislodge the gerbil ."
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:55 |
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"I decided it'd be fun to gently caress myself earlier this evening/morning. So I greased up Mr Sunshine and went to work. I had fun for 10 minutes and came. Then I was feeling the need to shower, so I did.This is where things get graphic. Stop here if you don't want to cry.Shortly after I started my shower, I felt a bit of matter coming out. Not terribly unusual, I just got done pounding my rear end. It landed on the floor of the shower. A few moments later I notice it's moving... strangely as it slowly gets washed towards the drain.Last chance to stop. It's horriffic.I nudge it with my toe and, to my horror, realize it's one piece. As in, a connected piece, as if it were... tissue. I think it's a bit of the outer layer of the colon. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I just crapped a piece of my rear end out of my rear end. I get it down the drain as quickly as possible and then sit down in the tub, I felt like I was having a panic attack. I'd had plenty of rear end sex before and not noticed this. Maybe this happened and I simply didn't notice it, or maybe the rear end "sheds" like this on its own occasionally, and no one really notices it (or admits they did). My rear end didn't hurt at all, but it does now, kind of, probably because I haven't stopped thinking about this horror for the last 90 minutes."
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 17:06 |
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Deranged M posted:
Jesus Christ
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 17:10 |
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"MRA Con' 2015"
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 17:12 |
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"Doctor's orders."
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 17:13 |
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"Whoever came on board with an IV bag stapled to a fez has apparently been sucked out through the lavatory, does that ring a bell for anybody?"
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 17:15 |
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"Remember, don't pull on these because, as you can see, they come off really easily."
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 17:16 |
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"I warned 'em not to put up a building on a cursed accountant burial ground. But do they ever listen?"
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 17:30 |
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# ? Jun 7, 2024 02:13 |
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"Hi, doctor?...It's still telling me to punish all the whores."
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 17:37 |