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Borden
Jul 23, 2008


"Yeah well, Bill Cosby's a rapist!"

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Slappy Pappy
Oct 15, 2003

Mighty, mighty eagle soaring free
Defender of our homes and liberty
Bravery, humility, and honesty...
Mighty, mighty eagle, rescue me!
Dinosaur Gum

Borden posted:


"Yeah well, Bill Cosby's a rapist!"

Bill "Caw"sby

Duke Pukem
Oct 23, 2010

Three cheers for dark beer!




"Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack burned off his loving dick! CAW!"

simplefish
Mar 28, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish gallbladdΣrs!




"And that's why we're called MOCKcaw parrots. Haha!"

Lando131
Jul 27, 2006

This is one way to find scum...

"Man, I've heard of robbing the cradle but this is ridiculous!"

PotatoManJack
Nov 9, 2009

quote:



I HAVE A PARROT HEAD!!! BAHHA ASDFSDASDF!!!!

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer

"He started sleeping like this ever since he became a congressman."

simplefish
Mar 28, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish gallbladdΣrs!




"So I says to the genie, "Cor, d'ya reckon I could get some head off that bird?" And the next thing you know... here I am!"

TheMostFrench
Jul 12, 2009

Stop for me, it's the claw!



simplefish posted:



"So I says to the genie, "Cor, d'ya reckon I could get some head off that bird?" And the next thing you know... here I am!"

Lol'd irl

Furia
Jul 26, 2015

Grimey Drawer

"University safe space"

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

"He's tuckered out from making so many posts in the New York Caption Contest thread on Somethingawful dot com."

Egbert Souse
Nov 6, 2008


People just assume I'm a Jimmy Buffet fan, but I'm more of a Flock of Seagulls guy.

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer

"Oh, everyone makes that mistake. It's actually a portable grain silo!"

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax
Fun Shoe


“Welcome to the New Flesh”



“Ia! Ia! Cthulhu f’thagn!”



“Help me out, hon! I’m trying to show my brother how big your vagina is. Are my arms far enough apart?”

PotatoManJack
Nov 9, 2009


What, this isn't what you meant when you said you wanted to play doctor?

Jabberlock
Nov 29, 2014





"Let me show you our...HOLY poo poo FLOATING GUNS."

Topographic Nap
Apr 22, 2007

Onkel Hedwig
Jun 27, 2007



"As a fellow Jew [...]"

Hulebr00670065006e
Apr 20, 2010

WHERE IS HE!?!?!

Hulebr00670065006e fucked around with this message at 09:31 on Aug 5, 2015

TheMostFrench
Jul 12, 2009

Stop for me, it's the claw!





'I'm just confused about why Waldo wears a bra?'

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014




finally, i understand the cuck meme

Cool Dad
Jun 15, 2007

It is always Friday night, motherfuckers



"What...What have you done? Was I not enough for you? After ten years of marriage...Christ Mary, what about the children? What if they had come in to find you like this? Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening...Oh god..."

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014




carlos mencia at the peak of his career

simplefish
Mar 28, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish gallbladdΣrs!




"But if it was a fit of passion, why are his glasses placed neatly on the nightstand? And judging by how thick they are, how did he even find his way out? Is this just a cry for help, Sarah?"

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

"Anyone else want to be a hero?"

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014




"I'll stop talking into your insulin pump after I'm done with announcements"

simplefish
Mar 28, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish gallbladdΣrs!




'This aircraft has a Three-star NCAP rating as every seat now has its own airbag'

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

'Well the average movie theater has between seventy or eighty seats, so you're gonna want to buy the extended clip."

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

"This is gonna be so awesome."

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014




"She sure puts out more than my last girlfriend"

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008



"You're asking me whether it's really necessary to own a fully automatic assault rifle as a private citizen? Well let me ask you this: Was it 'really necessary' for the New Yorker to print not one but two cartoons of a guy just buying a gun from a gun store without any visual gag whatsoever? No, but they did it anyway, because this is America, goddammit. I think I've made my point."

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx


"...and long story short, I had to get it about this far in to dislodge the gerbil ."

Deranged M
Nov 14, 2012

"I decided it'd be fun to gently caress myself earlier this evening/morning. So I greased up Mr Sunshine and went to work. I had fun for 10 minutes and came. Then I was feeling the need to shower, so I did.This is where things get graphic. Stop here if you don't want to cry.Shortly after I started my shower, I felt a bit of matter coming out. Not terribly unusual, I just got done pounding my rear end. It landed on the floor of the shower. A few moments later I notice it's moving... strangely as it slowly gets washed towards the drain.Last chance to stop. It's horriffic.I nudge it with my toe and, to my horror, realize it's one piece. As in, a connected piece, as if it were... tissue. I think it's a bit of the outer layer of the colon. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I just crapped a piece of my rear end out of my rear end. I get it down the drain as quickly as possible and then sit down in the tub, I felt like I was having a panic attack. I'd had plenty of rear end sex before and not noticed this. Maybe this happened and I simply didn't notice it, or maybe the rear end "sheds" like this on its own occasionally, and no one really notices it (or admits they did). My rear end didn't hurt at all, but it does now, kind of, probably because I haven't stopped thinking about this horror for the last 90 minutes."

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Deranged M posted:


"I decided it'd be fun to gently caress myself earlier this evening/morning. So I greased up Mr Sunshine and went to work. I had fun for 10 minutes and came. Then I was feeling the need to shower, so I did.This is where things get graphic. Stop here if you don't want to cry.Shortly after I started my shower, I felt a bit of matter coming out. Not terribly unusual, I just got done pounding my rear end. It landed on the floor of the shower. A few moments later I notice it's moving... strangely as it slowly gets washed towards the drain.Last chance to stop. It's horriffic.I nudge it with my toe and, to my horror, realize it's one piece. As in, a connected piece, as if it were... tissue. I think it's a bit of the outer layer of the colon. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I just crapped a piece of my rear end out of my rear end. I get it down the drain as quickly as possible and then sit down in the tub, I felt like I was having a panic attack. I'd had plenty of rear end sex before and not noticed this. Maybe this happened and I simply didn't notice it, or maybe the rear end "sheds" like this on its own occasionally, and no one really notices it (or admits they did). My rear end didn't hurt at all, but it does now, kind of, probably because I haven't stopped thinking about this horror for the last 90 minutes."

Jesus Christ :stare:

Furia
Jul 26, 2015

Grimey Drawer

"MRA Con' 2015"

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

"Doctor's orders."

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx


"Whoever came on board with an IV bag stapled to a fez has apparently been sucked out through the lavatory, does that ring a bell for anybody?"

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

"Remember, don't pull on these because, as you can see, they come off really easily."

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx


"I warned 'em not to put up a building on a cursed accountant burial ground. But do they ever listen?"

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EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx


"Hi, doctor?...It's still telling me to punish all the whores."

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