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Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

Mizufusion posted:

I'm a bouncer at a bar/restaurant in a busy downtown area. Normally our customers are really chill, and we haven't had a fight inside since we opened a few months ago, but tonight there was a serious verbal altercation right outside that started to turn violent. It was between a really huge dude and his tiny girlfriend(?), so we were pretty concerned. He started screaming at random bystanders from the bar next door, then came over to me and the other bouncer checking IDs at our bar and threatened both of us just for being there. Neither of us could call the cops with him in our faces, or his three friends that came over to try intimidating us, so my husband made the call. When the cops showed up, they pretty much told him to gently caress off because he's not an employee or a victim. Apparently you're not allowed to call the cops if you're just a concerned citizen. Or if your wife is being threatened. :wtc:

That not a First World Problem. That's a really loving serious problem with your police force.

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Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
The pharmacy was out of all bottled water except smart water, and gently caress if I'm going to pay $2 for 12oz of water. So I had to wait almost an hour till I got to work to drink water. I had my tea with me but I wanted water :(

big parcheesi player
Apr 1, 2014

Also, I can kill you with my brain.
Went to Taco Bell Drive Thru, they gave me a hard shell taco instead of a soft shell!

BigPaddy
Jun 30, 2008

That night we performed the rite and opened the gate.
Halfway through, I went to fix us both a coke float.
By the time I got back, he'd gone insane.
Plus, he'd left the gate open and there was evil everywhere.


The company that runs my companies share options scheme doesn't give me the option to take all the money from it and them not withhold tax since I want to handle that myself as I think they are withholding way too much.

Chinaman7000
Nov 28, 2003

drgnwr1 posted:

Went to Taco Bell Drive Thru, they gave me a hard shell taco instead of a soft shell!

First post in this thread that makes me want to give condolences. Rough day.

big parcheesi player
Apr 1, 2014

Also, I can kill you with my brain.

Chinaman7000 posted:

First post in this thread that makes me want to give condolences. Rough day.

Got back to my office and saw a hard shell. "Son of a..." Put verde on it and grumbily ate it as it broke all over my desk.

KingColliwog
May 15, 2003

Let's go droogs

drgnwr1 posted:

Got back to my office and saw a hard shell. "Son of a..." Put verde on it and grumbily ate it as it broke all over my desk.

They forgot to put my hashbrown in my McDonald breakfast. Sad day for everyone

moosecow333
Mar 15, 2007

Super-Duper Supermen!
I was on a first class flight recently and they had a lot of really good movies I wanted to watch.

The plane wide announcements keep pausing my movie and I just want to watch Kingsman without stupid safety tips interrupting my movie.

The flight also wasn't long enough for me to watch all the movies I wanted to watch, so I had to pick and choose.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

Chinaman7000 posted:

First post in this thread that makes me want to give condolences. Rough day.

Me too, my first thought was "go back and complain to get a new one" because getting the wrong shell on a taco can ruin your meal.


E: now I want some tacos. I have them in my freezer, and I have the sour cream, cheese, tomatoes, and cilantro in the fridge, but it'll take like 20 min but I already had dinner.

First world problem: considering whether or not to have two dinners.

Thin Privilege has a new favorite as of 03:01 on Aug 4, 2015

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
dropped a grand on a class and the next day I got jury duty on the first day of the schedule. If I get called in I'm gonna find some angle that doesn't belong in a courtroom because the $17.05 isn't gonna make up for the missed day of the short class.

Away all Goats
Jul 5, 2005

Goose's rebellion

KingColliwog posted:

They forgot to put my hashbrown in my McDonald breakfast. Sad day for everyone

They were doing you a favor, those are sorry excuses for hashbrowns at mcdonalds.

MariusLecter
Sep 5, 2009

NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

Away all Goats posted:

They were doing you a favor, those are sorry excuses for hashbrowns at mcdonalds.

Yes, I want a pasty, greasy potato patty with my cardboard muffin and flavored high fructose syrup water.

*Pays hard earned money for it like an idiot*

Spalec
Apr 16, 2010
My audiobooks always are just getting to an exciting/interesting part when I have to stop the car and go to work. I can't listen to them in the lab either for ~safety reasons~. :rolleyes:. Im pretty sure I'd still hear the fire alarm over the book.

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
The phone I broke and posted about in this thread? Apparently it can't be fixed, since there are no parts available for it. According to the guy I asked (who finally got back to me), "It's not worth it for a phone that's a two-year-old model that cost 180€ on release, so they don't sell the parts anymore."

So I had to drop 200€ on a new phone. I can totally afford it, but I wanted to spend those 200€ on something else :(

Monday_
Feb 18, 2006

Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.
The Great Twist

amityville anus posted:

dropped a grand on a class and the next day I got jury duty on the first day of the schedule. If I get called in I'm gonna find some angle that doesn't belong in a courtroom because the $17.05 isn't gonna make up for the missed day of the short class.

Tell them you're Bipolar. That's gotten me out of jury duty and off their list for the rest of my life. They won't even ask for any proof, at least they don't where I'm from. I actually am Bipolar, though, so I guess I could have had my doctor fax over a letter or something had I really needed.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless

Monday_ posted:

Tell them you're Bipolar. That's gotten me out of jury duty and off their list for the rest of my life. They won't even ask for any proof, at least they don't where I'm from. I actually am Bipolar, though, so I guess I could have had my doctor fax over a letter or something had I really needed.

i was gonna go with a box of fiber one bars the day before and likely have diarrhea the day of duty(hahahah doody) but if bipolar gets me off the list forever maybe ill do it

Fashionable Jorts
Jan 18, 2010

Maybe if I'm busy it could keep me from you



Because my coworkers are goddamn children who can't clean up after themselves, I now have ketchup on my phone case. It's deep in the grooves so I can't get it out until I get home today.

Twat Nosferatu
Aug 14, 2008

Typical smartphone problem. My 2 year plan is up and I can't decide if I want a new phone or not. My Samsung is still perfectly serviceable but I really want one with a better camera.

Astrofig
Oct 26, 2009
My computer keeps throwing errors when I try to update to Windows 10. I don't particularly care, as from what I've heard it's a system-raping trainwreck, but I'd like to at least see what it's like.

Vic Boss
Jan 19, 2007

:ocelot:
You're pretty good.
:ocelot:

Astrofig posted:

My computer keeps throwing errors when I try to update to Windows 10. I don't particularly care, as from what I've heard it's a system-raping trainwreck, but I'd like to at least see what it's like.

And where have you heard that it's a system-raping trainwreck? I thought it had near-universal acclaim so far. Also, lots of errors are fixed with changing the region settings on your computer as Microsoft didn't know any civilization existed outside of English (US).

Monday_
Feb 18, 2006

Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.
The Great Twist
It has it's fair share of bugs, but I imagine even Windows 7 wasn't perfect a week after it launched. I wouldn't call it a system-raping trainwreck.

its curtains for Kevin
Nov 14, 2011

Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless
I ran out of screen protectors before I could get one to lay on my screen bubble free and I don't want to buy more :(

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006

Win 10 has some compatibility issues with games right now so if you play a lot maybe wait to upgrade.

HOLY FUCK
Mar 31, 2007

Cats are terrifying, everyone knows that! 'Cause they're witches! And they've got knives in their feet!


All of the cashback rewards for my card are for places I never go to and things I never buy. Never once have I earned cashback

:negative:

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

NTT posted:

I ran out of screen protectors before I could get one to lay on my screen bubble free and I don't want to buy more :(

It is impossible, they are just trying to make you buy more.

Monday_
Feb 18, 2006

Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.
The Great Twist

NTT posted:

I ran out of screen protectors before I could get one to lay on my screen bubble free and I don't want to buy more :(

It's 2015, you don't need screen protectors anymore.

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

We had to do the beep test before training last night and I pushed myself very hard to score reasonably well in it as well as in training after. My body is very sore today

MisterBibs
Jul 17, 2010

dolla dolla
bill y'all
Fun Shoe
The AC is so good at this bar that I'm freezing.

MariusLecter
Sep 5, 2009

NI MUERTE NI MIEDO
The podcasts I listen to don't make new episodes as often as I'd like. :(

Buggiezor
Jun 6, 2011

For I am a cat, you see.
I'm tired but I haven't caught up with all the things I want to read or watch on the internet yet.
And I have way too many video games I haven't played yet. I don't know where to start.
:(

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
My parents believe in homeopathy :negative:

They are reasonable people who simply don't know about the difference between that and actual medicine, but the "painkiller" they're taking works perfectly because of the placebo effect, and it's either that or actual painkillers daily which in the long term are bad for you, so I'm torn on whether to tell them or not.

Stupid_Sexy_Flander
Mar 14, 2007

Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?
Grimey Drawer
I'd leave em be. I'd worry about it if they did that poo poo for serious health problems, but as a general painkiller, no real harm done. If it doesn't work one day, introduce them to aleve and tell em it's all natural.

thewireguy
Jul 2, 2013

NTT posted:

I ran out of screen protectors before I could get one to lay on my screen bubble free and I don't want to buy more :(

You can cry on my shoulder. I bought a fancy glass one and never dropped it, but it cracked anyway. I probably sad on it wrong. They never lay down right. Maybe I should ask for advice from the "genius bar"

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
My iPhone screen is turning yellow from so much use but I don't want to spend money on a new phone.

I spend too much time on my iPhone, probably more than I do on real life things. :(

I need to do real life things but I am lazy :(

E: I hate apple and want to switch to android, but that means I'll have to re-buy all my apps and learn a new OS and that's mildly difficult.

Buggiezor
Jun 6, 2011

For I am a cat, you see.
I spent probably 6 hours today doing strenuous yard work, cutting, dragging and chipping limbs from the woods surrounding my house. I'm really proud of how much I got done and how good it looks and now I have a huge pile of wood chips I can use as mulch in my flower beds. But tomorrow I'm going to have to actually go back out there and spread the mulch. And now I'm tired of yard work. The pile is almost shoulder high!

big parcheesi player
Apr 1, 2014

Also, I can kill you with my brain.

Buggiezor posted:

I spent probably 6 hours today doing strenuous yard work, cutting, dragging and chipping limbs from the woods surrounding my house. I'm really proud of how much I got done and how good it looks and now I have a huge pile of wood chips I can use as mulch in my flower beds. But tomorrow I'm going to have to actually go back out there and spread the mulch. And now I'm tired of yard work. The pile is almost shoulder high!

Thats what kids are for

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

I left the toaster on the potato waffle setting and burnt my bread very badly

big parcheesi player
Apr 1, 2014

Also, I can kill you with my brain.
A first world problems from twitter. Some of them are really good.

Coolspaz
Feb 26, 2004
And so it came to pass, and so it was told, quoth the raven "never more"
Netflix has not been working for the past 3 days so I have to actually talk to my wife while at home

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Buggiezor
Jun 6, 2011

For I am a cat, you see.

drgnwr1 posted:

Thats what kids are for

I'd much rather do it myself than ever deal with having kids.

EDIT: today's FWP is that I want breakfast but we're out of eggs and bread so I'll either have to go out or settle for cereal.

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