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Well, I did expect to lose the match, but not like that. Huh. I'll talk about the exploit I noticed once the tournament gets past round 2.
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Aug 7, 2015 18:13
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| # ? May 30, 2024 07:13 |
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Rock on! Go me!
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Aug 7, 2015 18:22
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Wow. Flagrantly Homosapien got carved into shish-kebab. "His vorpal blade went snicker-snack"... Nasty!
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Aug 7, 2015 22:28
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Run more games now please, tia
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Aug 7, 2015 23:16
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I am on weekend hiatus. You all know the drill by now. Bene is our only hope 
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Aug 7, 2015 23:41
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Spermy Smurf posted:I am on weekend hiatus. You all know the drill by now. Dude. Why would you take the top end and give Bene the bottom end right before you leave for the weekend. YOU ARE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE.
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Aug 7, 2015 23:52
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Its not like I was hiding my attempt to make you wait for a week for your fight. It was pretty obvious...
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Aug 7, 2015 23:56
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I'm going to bed!  I'll run a fight or two tomorrow morning but then you're not getting anything till Sunday. Munki, if you keep complaining I'll run and write up your fight then sit on it while taunting you about the result.
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Aug 8, 2015 00:59
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This is an awful lot of fuss for what's just going to be a free round for me anyways.
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Aug 8, 2015 03:27
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Ok, I'm up. 1051 Arena Test League - Round of 32 Fight 15A rare weekend fight brings us a battle of current and former commissioners.  Representing the current commissioners is Uvula the Soldier Ant Woman managed by Spermy Smurf. Uvula carries not one, not two, but four short swords, two copper, two iron. She looks something like this and stands on the left. [img]http://lpix.org/2169002/Uvulaula.png[/img] Representing the former/on hiatus commissioners is Legless Greenleaf the Elf managed by Maugrim. Legless Greenleaf has a near complete suit of iron armour (bare torso notwithstanding) and carries both an iron battleaxe and a silver mace. Will Uvula's swords find their way past Legless Greenleaf's armour before Legless Greenleaf can hack her apart? Will Legless Greenleaf use the axe or the hammer? Can Spermy create a decent gladiator without my dad's help? Let's find out!*  Out of the gate it's Uvula on the offensive, but Legless Greenleaf easily parries the blow. She returns fire, but can't find a gap in the whirling wall of swords.  One of those swords finds it's way to Legless Greenleaf's one weak spot, slicing deep into the elf's torso. Organs are damaged and blood hits the floor. Uvula's sword is lodged in the wound and Legless Greenleaf tries to take advantage, but the three other swords still make every parry.  Leaving the first sword where it is, Uvula swings an iron sword into Legless Greenleaf's upper body, tearing through ribcage and into Legless Greenleaf's heart! Now more pincushion than Elf, Legless Greenleaf gives in to pain and Uvula brings a third sword (copper) to bear on her opponent's head. Inferior as copper may be, it manages to do considerable damage through the iron cap.  Feeling flashy, Uvula makes the coup-de-gras a decapitation and the match is done. Uvula advances to round 2! Combat Log [*Yes, no idea and no]
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Aug 8, 2015 08:49
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Man, armored barechested elves in the arena have a proud tradition of getting sharp objects stuck in their heart.
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Aug 8, 2015 09:00
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Well that makes things awkward for my fighter build...
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Aug 8, 2015 09:10
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Frozen_flame posted:Well that makes things awkward for my fighter build... You went full retard too?
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Aug 8, 2015 10:49
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1051 Arena Test League - Round of 32, Fight 14 Our second (and likely last) fight of the day is a six limbed beat-down. Will it be the legs or the arms on top today?  On the left, with my favourite name ever is 1.5 Kobolds Stapled Together the strangler, managed by AJ_Impy. 1.5 Kobolds carries a silver war hammer, wooden shield and wears a pair of 'protective' leather gloves. On the right is Morocco Mole the Molemarian, managed by iLonie. Morocco Mole caries only a steel long sword. 1.5 Kobolds seems to have brought the wrong weapon, but that shield could easily blunt Morocco Mole's sword.  And we're off! Morocco Mole gets the first swing but is deftly parried by 1.5 Kobolds. 1.5 Kobolds counters with his full strength, bringing his hammer down on Morocco Mole's foot, bruising it badly. Oh dear.  Morocco Mole grins and flicks his sword. 1.5 Kobolds's hand is gone. 1.5 Kobolds brings the hammer down again! Resulting in another bruise...  Morocco Mole keeps swingingand 1.5 Kobolds wisely starts dodging. The strangler gets the odd shot in. Mostly bruises, but he eventually chips a bone.    Morocco Mole responds with another neat flick of the sword and another hand goes flying along with 1.5 Kobolds's buckler. 1.5 Kobolds somehow keeps swinging, with the same results as before.  Morocco Mole charges, knocking 1.5 Kobolds over. He follows up with a few quick swings, first cutting then amputating, then amputating again. With only one hand left, 1.5 Kobolds's hammer falls, then with no blood left, 1.5 Kobolds falls.  Morocco Mole advances to round 2! Combat log Rest in peace, 1.5 Kobolds Stapled Together, you sweet, beautifully named monster.
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Aug 8, 2015 11:05
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Bene Elim posted:[timg]http://lpix.org/2169002/Uvulaula.png[/timg]  KILL IT WITH FIRE!
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Aug 8, 2015 13:49
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Spermy Smurf posted:You went full retard too? Yes.
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Aug 8, 2015 14:19
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Frozen_flame posted:Yes. Finally, you people are getting on my level.
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Aug 8, 2015 14:34
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Bad Munki posted:Finally, you people are getting on my level. Theme and concept are way more important than things like "winning"!
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Aug 8, 2015 19:27
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I looked at Taz the Tazmanian Devil and thought 'I need to add more sharp objects to this concept'
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Aug 9, 2015 01:02
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Frozen_flame posted:I looked at Taz the Tazmanian Devil and thought 'I need to add more sharp objects to this concept' I looked at this and thought the same... 
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Aug 9, 2015 01:22
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Arena Test League - Round of 32, Fight 13 Welcome to this special sabath edition of the Arena Challenge. Please join me in praising mighty Armock by enjoying the coming bloodbath. Let us pray.  On the left we have WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW the Soldier Ant Woman, managed by Frozen_Flame. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW looks very similar to another gladiator we've seen with four short swords, two copper and two iron. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW changes it up with copper armour and a platinum helm. I feel like there's a reference in there somewhere. And I'd be being lazy if I didn't post this.  I tried fire, it only made it angrier. On the right we have MACE to see you! the serpent man, managed by Tunicate. MACE to see you! wields a platinumwar hammer and wears copper mail and a copper helm. Will the 'Tazmanian devil' build succeed again, or will the serpent put him down?  And they're off! WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW swings first, but MACE to see you! manages a parry and ripostes. The hammer dents the gauntlet badly enough to crack chitin and one sword falls!  MACE to see you! charges, trying to press her advantage, but WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW jumps away and takes a counter swing. She slaps a copper sword across the serpents arm and we hear the crack of bone breaking. If only she'd tried to slash! MACE to see you! makes two swings, further ruining WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW's injured arm and pounding her mid-section.  WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW retaliates by stabbing clean through MACE to see you!'s hand! It's a wonder MACE to see you! still holds her hammer with one arm broken and one hand ruined, but she fights through the pain and smashes another of the ant woman's arms. The second copper sword falls, followed by WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW's limp body.  Sorry, corpse. One blow to the head and it's all over. MACE to see you! advances to round 2! Combat Log Sorry, Frozen_Flame. Everybody knows you never go full retard. Unless you're Spermy Bene Elim fucked around with this message at 09:46 on Aug 9, 2015 |
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Aug 9, 2015 09:43
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Aw dangit.
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Aug 9, 2015 10:03
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1051 Arena Test League - Round of 32, Fight 12 More fight? More fight.  On the left stands Buggerit the Gremlin, managed by grobbendonk. He stands completely naked, twirling an iron dagger. On the right stands Boney M the Dwarf. Fresh from the local fortress guard, Boney M sports a full suit of copper armour and carries an iron sword. Agility vs armour. Place your bets, folks!  The first encounter is a bloody one. Buggerit stabs his dagger through Boney M's gauntlet and Boney M responds by stabbing his sword through Buggerit's leg, severing it at the knee. A quick flick launches the limb more than 20 feet into the air!  Buggerit is now confined to the floor and in a large amount of trouble. Boney M brings his sword down again on the other leg, but can't repeat his trick and 'only' tears through muscle.  Buggerit isn't done yet, and keeps swinging at the Dwarf. Copper may not be the best material, but it's enough for Boney M to avoid the worst of the weapon's sting. Boney M is still swinging as well, but with both gauntlets damaged he seems to be having trouble doing serious harm to his tiny foe.  The wounds are adding up, and arteries are being severed. Eventually the gremlin just has no more blood to bleed. Buggerit bleeds out and Boney M takes the win.  Sometime later, Buggerit's foot lands.  Boney M advances to round 2! Combat Log Bene Elim fucked around with this message at 01:23 on Aug 10, 2015 |
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Aug 9, 2015 14:17
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quote:Sorry, it appears you have specified a Match ID that does not have a combat log associated with it.
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Aug 9, 2015 14:21
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Both work for me?
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Aug 9, 2015 18:54
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Doobeedoo posted:Both work for me? That said I fixed it wrong, so I'm going to get that sorted now. EDIT: Done!Both combat logs present and correct. Bene Elim fucked around with this message at 19:39 on Aug 9, 2015 |
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Aug 9, 2015 19:31
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Quartet of 'protective' leather gloves.  I figured I was screwed when I drew a Molemarian. Decent showing, at least.
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Aug 10, 2015 04:08
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Trying to make up for lost time... Also I'm gone all day Tuesday and maybe wednesday too.Round 1, Fight 8 Methanoic is a female Soldier Ant Woman fighter managed by Afriscipio. A silver flail, a pair of shields (leaving one hand empty) and some boots are the items of choice. Is this the first flail in the history of the tournament? Offcut Must Die is a male Goblin fighter managed by Haystack. He is fully clad in iron armor, and carries a copper hammer. Think that iron armor will help against a heavy silver flail? Who knows, this is dwarf fortress for fucks sake.  Absolutely nothing happens for like 10 minutes. They dodge, block, dodge, block, and I got annoyed pretty quick.  Suddenly Methanoic the Antwoman gets a solid blow against Offcut Must Die's left arm! Holy poo poo this could be a huge thing for the fight, better go look it up! Checks gamelog.txt. A fricken bruise.   That silver flail smashes the goblin again, but just bruises him slightly again. Methanoic's attacks pelt the goblin, but almost every single one is turned away by the iron armor. Shots to the helm, arms, legs, feet, hands... all are deflected by the iron armor.  All of a sudden a single attack finally gets through from Offcut Must Die. The antwoman's left foot has its fat torn. Antmen have fat? Methanoic falls to the floor! A followup attack blows the same left foot into paste, arteries are open and Methanoic looks frightened. Methanoic: Can it all end so quickly? Begone fear!  The prone antwoman cannot defend the way she did on her feet, and the next blow pulps her right lower arm. She passes out from pain immediately after.  Bye bye, antwoman. Her head is crushed mercilessly. Winner: Offcut Must Die Combat Log
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Aug 10, 2015 13:29
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Good, Offcut awaits.
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Aug 10, 2015 13:33
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Round 1, Fight 9 Tiger Millionaire is a male Tigerman fighter managed by Lorrdernie. He has a silver mace, a helm, and a mail shirt. CHOPpy Beer Enthusiast is a male Dwarf fighter managed by Podima. CHoppy, nicknamed Hippie for liking hoppy beer, has a huge iron axe and a smattering of copper armor topped off by an iron breastplate to tuck his beard into.  The fighters meet and exchange devastating blows! Tiger Millionaire smashes the hippy dwarf in the arm and fractures bone!  Choppy the Hippy sends his axe deep into the Tigermans left thigh. Muscle, artery, and nerves have been severed. Tiger Millionaire falls to the floor bleeding profusely. On his way to the floor the tigerman sends his mace into Choppy the dwarf's right thigh, fracturing bone. Choppy decides it's best if he lie down next to his opponent.  Tiger Millionaire gets another blow in to the prone dwarfs right elbow... The hippy passes out from pain as the bone shatters into pieces.  Not bad from a tigerman on the ground. Winner: Tiger Millionaire in a ridiculously short fight Combat Log
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Aug 10, 2015 14:07
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Yeah! The pain train has left the station and it's not stopping until Offcut gets his ticket stamped... BY MY HAMMER.
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Aug 10, 2015 14:46
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 I note that there's only four big guys in the entire tournament -- one of them has fought (and lost), while the other three are still to come. Interesting. Otherwise, winners seem to straddle the entire range of medium and small races, and no particular tactic seems dominant. Could it be that we are achieving reasonable balance at last? I definitely feared the worst when my fighter was drawn against yet another tiny stabber, but he seems to have blundered through.
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Aug 10, 2015 14:48
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Oh bullshit! 
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Aug 10, 2015 15:19
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A complete flailure.
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Aug 10, 2015 15:29
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Round 1, Fight 10 This round features Paul Blart: Maul Clop. A male Minotaur fighter managed by Bad Munki. Just kidding. Round 1, Fight 11 Tantrum Spyral is a male Dwarf fighter managed by Ramc. He carries a silver hammer and has an iron helm and iron mail. Gronk is a male Troll fighter managed by Mygna. He has a copper war hammer, boots, and helm.  The fighters meet, troll blood flies as Tantrum Spyral smashes the hell out of Gronk right off the bat. A few bruises are followed up by a devastating blow to the neck which fractures the trolls upper spine! Well, devastating is a relative term since this is DF and we all know spines aren't used for anything. Gronk loses a tusk and still cannot lay a hand on the more skilled dwarf.  Gronk chases the smaller dwarf around the arena. Tantrum dodges, blocks, and smashes the hell out of the troll. Gronk finally gets a blow in and gives the dwarf a solid bruise on his foot.   The 10th charge finally connects, sending the dwarf tumbling!  Blood flies as Gronk destroys the dwarfs eye. Tantrum has nothing more than bruises to go along with his ruined eye, so he is still at nearly 100% if he can shake off this stun.  He shakes off the stun, but gets smashed in the chest on his blind side. His false ribs are blown to pieces.  The tough dwarf dodges back and back and continues to cause bruises but more will be needed. Gronk charges and connects for a second time, but Tantrum leaps right back to his feet. Gronk finally gets another blow against the dwarf and this bruises his lung. The dwarf is winded and in pain!   Another charge, followed up by a gore with the trolls remaining tusk cause the remaining false ribs to be no more. Gronk decides to try a punch which pulps the smaller dwarfs left hand. One more charge and then a copper war hammer to a dwarfs ankle bone sends the dwarf into a rage! Tantrum Spyral has become enraged! And then he falls over and passes out immediately. Tantrum Spyral falls over. Tantrum Spyral gives in to pain.  Hammer meets dwarf skull, ending the fight. Winner: Gronk Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 15:57 on Aug 10, 2015 |
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Aug 10, 2015 15:54
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Spermy Smurf posted:
You bastard
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Aug 10, 2015 16:01
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The last fight has like 3 bets. Someone can bet 100 bucks against you (the smart bet) and take home almost triple the pay. I wish I had more dwarfbucks. 
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Aug 10, 2015 17:03
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I know, right? It's absurd. I mean, look at this. Not only is there not nearly enough money on the fight, it's all obviously on the wrong side.  You all know I gave him an adamantine maul, right?
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Aug 10, 2015 17:05
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I don't know what to say, people actually bet on me too. They're all idiots in my opinion, you and I are the only sane ones here. Edit: How do I PM?
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Aug 10, 2015 17:20
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Get a room.
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Aug 10, 2015 17:24
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