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I... I did not expect that outcome. And that's after investing most of my points in dodge, as I was sure it was the only way to survive being wrestled by an unfeeling molemarian.
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Aug 12, 2015 18:18
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Tunicate posted:I told you guys, but did you listen? Nooooo I did. Thanks for the cash!
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Aug 12, 2015 18:55
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Just so y'all know, I'm going to win my upcoming fight, but then I'm going out of town until late Monday, so y'all had better finish this round before tomorrow morning I think so I can update my fighter and not stall things longer than absolutely necessary!
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Aug 12, 2015 19:15
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 Round 2, Fight 2 Strangler things have happened is a female Strangler fighter managed by Bene Elim. He is clad almost entirely in steel armor with a steel sword in his hand. Citizen Pain is a male Tigerman fighter managed by Locomotive breath. Iron armor bedecks his body and a silver maul swings easily in his hands.  The two fighters slam into each other with the fury of a thousand suns. Both are looking for a game-changing blow right off the bat. Strangler Things succeeds with that and shoves his sword through the kittycat's left thigh, fracturing bone, severing arteries and nerves, and ultimately sending the tigerman to the floor. However, Citizen Pain also successfully landed his game-changing blow... Strangler Things Have Happened falls to the floor as his neck is smashed to gently caress. His steel sword falls from an unresponsive hand.  Citizen Pain passes out for a split second, but wakes up to the strangler biting him. The tigerman kicks the strangler away, brusing a kidney, and follows the kick with the maul which bruises the poor stranglers guts.  A flurry of blows land on each gladiator, a bite to the neck, a few kicks, punches, maulings... Oh, and Citizen Pain smashes the stranglers unresponsive right leg into pulp. Another blow shatters the left-thigh bone of the poor strangler. Another blow shatters the stranglers first-left-upper arm. Another blow gore-ifies the stranglers second-right-upper arm. Another blow pulps the left-lower leg of the strangler.   I am completely baffled here. Citizen Pain was 100% unconscious for like 50-clicks of the "go ahead one" button in the game. It does not show up in the log. It's right around now when Citizen Pain just stopped moving for a bit. Strangler things punched him a few times, and then Citizen Pain jumped to his feet and continued bashing the crap out of the strangler. Maybe the flashing X showing unconsciousness just didn't go away quick enough?  False ribs are shattered. Guts are bruised. The poor strangler bites and bites but cannot do any damage at this point.  Citizen Pain landed the better first blow which won him the fight. Winner: Citizen Pain, but using one of his 9 lives Combat Log
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Aug 12, 2015 20:39
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Awh crap. Whelp, that's the game. Of all the times for a gladiator to suddenly have nerves in their spine. I wonder if my original idea of two swords would have worked better. Bad Munki posted:Just so y'all know, I'm going to win my upcoming fight, but then I'm going out of town until late Monday, so y'all had better finish this round before tomorrow morning I think so I can update my fighter and not stall things longer than absolutely necessary!
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Aug 12, 2015 20:51
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Bene Elim posted:You seem very certain of a win... Yep, I'm on a roll of one this tournament!
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Aug 12, 2015 20:52
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After my minotaur getting 1 punch KOd by a strangler, I certainly enjoyed watching this match.
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Aug 12, 2015 20:58
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Bene Elim posted:Awh crap. Yeah, our gladiators are gone, so lets just stop running fights and start the NFL-Style tournament.
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Aug 12, 2015 21:14
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Bene Elim posted:Whelp, that's the game. Of all the times for a gladiator to suddenly have nerves in their spine. I wonder if my original idea of two swords would have worked better. Let's Play! > Dwarf Fortress Arena Challenge: Of all the times for a gladiator to suddenly have nerves in their spine.
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Aug 12, 2015 22:29
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my dad posted:Bronze and iron will achieve similar effects, though they'll glance off a tiny bit more often (steel is actually really bad at penetrating equal/superior materials) - but copper is dirt cheap. You wouldn't ever need to upgrade your weapon. I assume that's the same reason serpentmen teeth will go through adamantine armor?
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Aug 13, 2015 02:21
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I, too, enjoyed watching this match. I will admit though that I was very impressed by the strangler's decision to have a real spine today. It was a bold move, but I don't think it worked out for him.
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Aug 13, 2015 02:26
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Huh, looking at the log, it seems likes moles really don't like to wrestle. Probably something I should've known by now, but oh well. For the record, Holy Moley has a career record of 1 victory and 1 loss. He has the following equipment. Adamantine Helm Adamantine Mail Shirt He has the following skills. Level 5 Fighting (Proficient) Level 14 Wrestling (Grand Master) Level 3 Dodging (Competent) Level 4 Armor (Skilled) Holy Moley has 10 points currently available to spend. Edit: Thinking about this some more, the points in fighting probably hurt more than they helped, as it seems like Holy Moley was so busy taking opportunity scratches, he wasn't focused on locking some joints. Anchors fucked around with this message at 06:00 on Aug 13, 2015 |
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Aug 13, 2015 05:57
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Every time I've given a gladiator armour over skill/more weapons they've died in the next round. Naked gladiatoring is the way to win tournaments apparently.
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Aug 13, 2015 08:19
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1051 Arena Test League - Round of 16, Fight 5 Let's see if either of these gladiators have spines.  On the left we have Tiger Millionaire the...uh...Tiger Man, managed by Lorrdernie. Tiger millionaire lives up to his name with a solid silver mace and a full suit of silver armour inlaid with embellishments and precious stones. Donald Trump would call this armour gaudy. On the right, we have Paul Blart: Maul Clop the Minotaur, managed by seasoned "expert" Bad Munki. Paul Blart had added to his armour with gauntlets and boots and still carries his silver maul and wooden shield. Two large fighters in full armour with bludgeoning weapons. This is either going to be very quick or very long.  Unsurprisingly, Paul Blart is faster than the silver plated Tiger and he closes the gap first. It seems that this is what Tiger Millionaire wanted as he gets the first swing. He slams his maul into Paul Blart's shield hand, smashing it into his wrist. Paul Blart's shield falls.  Paul Blart posted:I've been wounded. It's annoying. The two trade blows, managing little more than bruises. Tiger Millionaire tries to spice things up with a kick to the face, but barely bruises Paul Blart's eyelid. Who'd have thought that silver armour would reduce your agility.  Tiger Millionaire dodges back from a stumbling swing by Paul Blart and counters with an overhead smash. His mace comes down on Paul Blart's helm, fracturing the Minotaur's skull. Paul Blart's face goes slack and he slumps to the floor. Tiger Millionaire brings his mace down again and Paul Blart is no more.  Tiger Millionaire defeats the Mall Clop and advances to the quarter finals! Combat Log I wonder if he'll upgrade to platinum now.
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Aug 13, 2015 09:02
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My strategic "funny name" betting scheme is not paying dividends.
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Aug 13, 2015 09:08
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1051 Arena Test League - Round of 16, Fight 4 After the last quick one, let's have another.  On the left, defying his name with every breath, we have First Round Casualty the Strangler managed by AnoHito. First Round Casualty is unarmed and wears a bizare mix of steel, iron and leather armour. On the right, continuing his mission, we have Offcut Must Die the Goblin managed by Haystack. Offcut Must Die carries a copper war hammer and wears a copper mail, with the rest of his body covered in iron. I have no prediction or idea of how this one will go.  First attacks go nowhere. First Round Casualty starts trying to wrestle and scratch Offcut Must Die but it really doesn't work. Offcut Must Die responds by breaking First Round Casualty's arm.  First Round Casualty switches tactic to biting, finding muscle past the Goblin's iron greaves. Offcut Must Die tries to get the strangler off with his hammer, but only manages a bruise.  First Round Casualty plants his hands and feet and shakes hard. Offcut Must Die is ripped off his feet and the flesh is all but ripped off his leg and sharp strangler teethdig into his thigh bone.  Blood sprays everywhere and Offcut Must Die gives in to pain. First Round Casualty drops the limp form of Offcut Must Die and switches to his head. Limp Goblin limbs are thrashed around, iron dents under strangler teeth and more blood flies.  Much, much later, First Round Casualty is still shaking. Offcut Must Die has woken up twice, only to pass out again immediately. No matter how hard First Round Casualty shakes, the Goblin just won't die.  A full day later (in arena time), First Round Casualty gives up on shaking Offcut Must Die to death and decides to strangle him instead. Offcut Must Die is dead within seconds.  First Round Casualty continues to defy fate and advances to the quarter finals! Combat Log Sorry Offcut Must Die, your mission seems to have failed. Bene Elim fucked around with this message at 10:05 on Aug 13, 2015 |
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Aug 13, 2015 10:03
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Ah a meeting of the inappropriately named characters.
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Aug 13, 2015 10:14
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Don't be too hasty, Offcut hasn't won the next fight yet.
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Aug 13, 2015 12:14
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My winning streak, nooooooooo 
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Aug 13, 2015 13:04
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Ramc posted:Gronk "No Neck" Trollson I guess it's too late to change my fighters name to Krang, eh?
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Aug 13, 2015 13:10
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Daaaaamn it
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Aug 13, 2015 13:15
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Bad Munki posted:My winning streak, nooooooooo  Tiger Millionaire got used to dodging law enforcement during his time in finance. 
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Aug 13, 2015 14:25
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Glad to see my patented tooth-based strategy is paying off for other gladiators!
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Aug 13, 2015 20:42
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Round 2, Last fight Zwinglemming is a male Dwarf fighter managed by Zwingley. A copper mace, silver warhammer, and a bunch of leather armor were the purchases this round. Offcut is a male Goblin fighter managed by Splode. A huge steel axe, leather armor, and a few pieces of iron armor are what he wears.  The gladiators meet and Zwinglemming pummels Offcut with both weapons. Bones are bruised, muscles are bruised, and it's all that Offcut can do to stand there and take it. All of the goblins return strokes are parried easily.  A particularly good blow smashes the goblins right lung, causing trouble breathing. Offcut is not looking good...  Another great swing by Zwinglemming fractures the goblin's left shin. Blood lands on the arena floor for the first time.  More blood soaks the arena floor as Zwinglemming smashes Offcut's right thigh to bits.  Offcuts left foot gets hammered, and the goblin passes out from the pain.  Zwinglemming leaves the arena without even breaking a sweat. Winner: Zwinglemming with a flawless victory. Combat Log
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Aug 14, 2015 12:53
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Huh. Guess Offcut Must Die was right after all.
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Aug 14, 2015 12:56
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Points left unspent between rounds accrue interest, right? What's the rate?
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Aug 14, 2015 13:34
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Wow, what the hell happened there
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Aug 14, 2015 13:59
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Splode posted:Wow, what the hell happened there Skill.
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Aug 14, 2015 15:00
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Reminder to upgrade your fighters!
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Aug 14, 2015 18:56
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Unless you're someone that happens to be managing an ant-woman. Then you should just leave those points where they are. There's interest, you know! Think of the points! Or something. I think. Look just don't spend 'em, trust me.
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Aug 14, 2015 19:03
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Ok, I'll leave the points as they are right now. (You get granted points the moment your fighter wins a fight)
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Aug 14, 2015 19:38
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GRONK I AM OFFERING YOU THIS BRIEFCASE OF TIGERBUCKS FROM MY CONSIDERABLE FORTUNE TO THROW THIS MATCH!!! DONT JUST THINK ABOUT YOURSELF WHAT ABOUT MRS GRONK AND THE GRONKLINGS AT HOME!? ALL YOU HAVE TO DO... IS LOSE
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Aug 14, 2015 19:52
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Gronk no need for bribes, has very lucrative sponsorship contract with Dul & Spödgôz Mystery Meat Manufactory 
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Aug 14, 2015 20:06
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You're bribing the wrong guy! I take payment in beer, Spermy accepts bottles of Bad Munki's tears.
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Aug 14, 2015 20:46
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Almost out of lube; bribes welcome.
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Aug 15, 2015 01:56
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Jack the Lad posted:Points left unspent between rounds accrue interest, right? What's the rate? 20% interest per round.
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Aug 15, 2015 04:04
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Are we good to place bets on the upcoming round at this point?
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Aug 15, 2015 04:20
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Podima posted:Are we good to place bets on the upcoming round at this point? Go right ahead!
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Aug 15, 2015 04:56
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Jazzimus Prime posted:20% interest per round. Welp, this is a thing I didn't know about. 
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Aug 15, 2015 17:03
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Jazzimus Prime posted:20% interest per round. Thanks!
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Aug 15, 2015 17:17
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