EmmyOk posted:

Rapey and fake but not in the usual way



Also, *something*

My Lovely Horse posted:

Wow, that's one hell of a misleading headline and a downright malicious URL.

Non Serviam posted:

I, too, send "btw, I did not rape you, right? messages after every hook up. Every hook up.

As another poster said, the humblebrags STDH are the ones that piss me off the most. They tend to be just about not being a lovely person, and just expecting to earn some kind of credit.
Yesterday before I got on the train there was a girl carrying a huge rear end suitcase, so I helped her go up and down the stairs with it; we then shoot the poo poo on the train and exchanged phone numbers.
...OR

quote:

GERMANY - TRAIN STATIONS - KINDNESS - NERDS RULE - MISOGYNY

I was at the train station in [GERMAN CITY] in [GERMANIC COUNTRY] buying a can of [NON ALCOHOLIC DRINK] when I saw a cute petite girl with a Naruto headband and a Dr. Who shirt who was carrying a really heavy suitcase. She stood by the stairwell and looked at it grimly, knowing the difficult task that was now in front of her.
A young man approached her and said loudly
-"Look at this F**** C**** she can't lift for S****. Hey B*** why don't you go back to the kitchen where you will only lift pans, instead of being here, you dumb c****!".
The girl was dumbfounded, and clearly on the verge of tears. But she just said
-"I'm sorry sir, but why are you acting like that towards me? I have not at all disturbed you and I am here simply to continue on my journey"
The man, of course, seemed like a stupid jock, and so the girl's words went over his head.
-"Don't talk to me like that you f*** b*** nerd. Look at your f**** anime sh**. I bet you don't even really watch anime or play video games. You just watch attention!"
By then I was fed up, and approached him. Everyone around the station saw it, and I noticed that some people pulled out their phones to film what, in their minds, was going to surely be a battle for the ages. Although I'm not really fit, I am extremely strong, and I look very intimidating. I wear a long coat with fingerless gloves, together with my trademark steampunk goggles, fedora, My Little Pony Shirt (I am a brony) and cane. Everybody knew I meant business.
I tapped on his shoulder and said "I'm sorry sir, but clearly you are disturbing this lady. If you leave right now I promise I will not seek satisfaction... however, if you decide to stay, I will make sure you suffer."
There was a loud "oooooooooh" from the bystanders. The man was big (steroids and synthol, of course) but he could see the fire in my eyes. Still, he said
"F**** you you f*g. I will kill you and this stupid sl**. No anime, My Little Pony f*g is going to tell me what to do".
It was then that, without skipping a beat, I revealed that my cane was also a sword. As soon as I pulled it out of the sheath the man's face turned paper white and he ran for dear life. Everyone around me start yelling and clapping. The girl just looked at me and said
"Thank you so much... you're a hero"
"No, m'lady, I'm just a real gentleman. Many men have forgotten the real way in which a man should act, but I refuse to let the customs of old die out. May I accompany you to your train so as to ensure you reach your destination safely?"
I helped her carry her suitcase and took her to her train. She looked at me and said
"By the way, I'm Mary, but my friends call me Sakura-Kun."
I was in awe.
"That sounds like something out of glorious Nippon, does it not?"
She smiled and winked.

I took the train with her that day. It's been 5 years since, and we married. We watch My Little Pony, anime, Dr. Who, Supernatural, and have anal sex when she has eaten beets."

Samizdata posted:

Brilliant!

goose fleet posted:

Rick_Hunter posted:

Hot from imgur:

quote:

Cat-atonic To Your Pleas
VET | VA, USA | BAD BEHAVIOR, EXTRA STUPID, PETS & ANIMALS
(I’m waiting in the lobby of my vet’s office. Because I don’t own a car and either take a taxi or the bus there, I have my dog’s carrier with me, but I’ve taken him out of it. Another client comes in with a carrier, checks in, and sits down next to me. After a second, I realize she has a cat in the carrier. My dog is not friendly with cats, so I get up and move to some seats on the other end of the lobby.)

Me: *on my way to the far-away seat, big smile on my face* “You don’t smell, I promise. It’s just that my dog is aggressive towards cats, and if he realizes there’s a cat in your carrier, he will begin to act out.”

Other Client: “Nonsense, all pets can be friendly towards each other. They just have to be properly introduced. Come over here; they’ll be fine!”

Me: “Really, I’ve tried just about everything. He really dislikes cats and will try to attack them. Sometimes it’s in their genes. It’s no big deal. We’ll just sit over here and he won’t even realize you have a cat there!”

Other Client: *reaching for the door of her carrier* “Oh, come on now. I watch The Dog Whisperer. I can get them to get along.”

Me: “Please don’t! I’d feel terrible if he hurt your cat! I don’t want him to get hurt, either, if the cat needs to defend itself.”

(Despite my pleas, the other client takes her cat out of the carrier. My dog immediately hits the end of his leash, nearly foaming at the mouth. She ignores his obvious aggression and starts walking towards us, doing this stupid sing-songy “be a good doggie and make friends with the cat” while her cat sees what’s up and starts hissing and trying to get away from her to run away.)

Me: *trying to corral my dog and shove him in his own carrier* “PLEASE BACK OFF NOW! MY DOG WILL HURT YOUR CAT IF YOU FORCE THEM TOGETHER! PLEASE STOP!”

(She doesn’t stop, but I manage to get my dog back in his carrier before she reaches us. SHE HOLDS THE CAT UP TO THE MESH WINDOW OF MY DOG’S CARRIER, which I’ve situated behind my legs, persisting in her sing-songy “be a nice doggy!” while my dog tries to eat through his carrier to eat the cat.)

Receptionist: “Uh, I think you probably want to keep your cat away… Um, this doesn’t sound good.” *she runs to get some assistance*

Me: “That is enough! Get that cat away from my dog! And me, I have terrible allergies!”

Other Client: “Oh, why didn’t you just say you were allergic! I don’t want to make you miserable all day!”

(I think her cat was quite relieved that she then put it back in its carrier and took her seat across the lobby from me. But… she was willing to avoid aggravating my allergies, but not driving my dog mad, scaring the daylights out of her cat, and risking harm to both?)

divabot posted:

And the name of that IDF woman? ACTUAL MARINE ALBERT EINSTEIN.

"*hic* Hold my daiquiri and watch thish"

EmmyOk posted:

You do not have to drink alcohol at a bar

Lady Naga posted:

Why would you to go a bar otherwise? Peoplewatching? Enjoying the ambiance?

EmmyOk posted:

You can have a good time at a bar with friends and not drink for example if you are the designated driver or a soldier.

e: or just you know if you don't feel like drinking

Fathis Munk posted:

Of course the comments of that Facebook post are 50% men wanting to gently caress the girl.

Squalitude posted:

That's actually been posted before, except last time it was from the perspective of the other guy, saying how he left it for the boyfriend to find. What a happy coincidence that both men in the situation decided to post about it... in fact, I wonder.....

Fathis Munk posted:

"ah I can't drink tonight, I'm the designated soldier"

Of course the comments of that Facebook post are 50% men wanting to gently caress the girl.

divabot posted:

And the name of that IDF woman? ACTUAL MARINE ALBERT EINSTEIN.

"*hic* Hold my daiquiri and watch thish"

EmmyOk posted:

e: or just you know if you don't feel like drinking

Big Grunty Secret posted:

Off-topic, but what's up with how the magazine is loaded?

Big Grunty Secret posted:

Off-topic, but what's up with how the magazine is loaded?

EmmyOk posted:

You can have a good time at a bar with friends and not drink for example if you are the designated driver or a soldier.

e: or just you know if you don't feel like drinking

divabot posted:

And the name of that IDF woman? ACTUAL MARINE ALBERT EINSTEIN.

"*hic* Hold my daiquiri and watch thish"

kizudarake posted:

If being sober at a bar with friends is so awesome, why do they need to designate a sober driver?

Nth Doctor posted:

This is somewhat legit. I was in Israel in the spring of 2000, and while at Yad Vashem I noticed an armed Israeli soldier looking at a case full of baby booties from one of the death camps.
hosed up.

ElGroucho posted:

I'm guessing the magazine has an offset thing so you can keep it attached in the magazine well without putting the actual bang bang part of the magazine in the well

EmmyOk posted:

People like to drink beer without getting drunk.

Rick_Hunter posted:

Hot from imgur:

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

Oh yes, he's SUCH a mature adult that he had to make a lovely meme and put it on imgur for sweet sweet internet cred.

artsy fartsy posted:

I really thought this meme was making fun of other penguin memes. I kinda like it! Maybe there will be a trendy backlash against stdh stories! I can dream, right?

Drunk Tomato posted:

STDH: this person getting invited to cool parties

Khazar-khum posted:

Bad STDH! Bad!