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Zwingley posted:Welp, this is a thing I didn't know about. I did, and I lost because of it. Figured I didnt need silver gauntlets 
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Aug 15, 2015 17:30
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| # ? May 30, 2024 02:21 |
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Sooo.. this wasn't made clear but Builds are locked and the Quarter Finals can begin! Expect fight soon!
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Aug 17, 2015 14:30
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Which is to say, get your bets in so I can take your dwarfbucks!
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Aug 17, 2015 14:46
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Always bet on Corbae.
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Aug 17, 2015 14:55
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 1051 Arena Test League - Quarter Finals, Fight 4Welcome to the last 8! Combatants are getting towards the pinnacle of their gear and skill, so expect the fights to get more tense, more exciting and much more bloody. Let's get going!  Returning on the left of the arena is Morocco Mole the Molemarian managed by iLonie. Morocco Mole still carries his steel long sword, vanquisher of 1.5 Kobolds Stapled Together and MACE to see you!, a wooden shield and leather armour augmented by steel gauntlets. On the right is the shining beacon of socialism Jeremy Corbyn the Human, managed by Jack the Lad. Jeremy is still bare-rear end naked and carries his wooden shield, deflector of 1000 blows, and copper longsword the Amputator.  The pair charge cautiously to the centre of the arena and give the audience a demonstration of swordsmanship and agility. Their parries, dodges, shield deflections and graceful movement fail to excite the audience who only chant for blood.  Jeremy Corbyn grants their wish by stabbing his sword into Morocco Mole's foot! The damage is superficial, but the crowd roars and mole blood hits the floor. Jeremy Corbyn takes the fight up another notch by tearing into Morocco Mole's leg with his next swing. He finds an artery and blood begins to pour.  Despite one of his legs hanging useless, Morocco Mole is far from done. Witha roar of defiance, he brings his blade down on Jeremy Corbyn's sword arm. The human's bicep is cut clean through, an artery torn and the Amputator falls!  Enraged, Jeremy Corbyn can only charge the Molemarian. The gladiators lock together and tumble to the floor, stunned. Morocco Mole is first to his three feet. He deflects a swing from Jeremy Corbyn and responds by tearing into the human's flabby belly.  Morocco Mole dodges away from another slash, allowing Jeremy Corbyn to his feet. Both are still stunned and swaying, but Morocco Mole is still armed. The steel blade comes down on Jeremy Corbyn's leg and although the damage is slight, it pushes Jeremy Corbyn over his pain threshold and into unconsciousness.  Jeremy Corbyn's hopes of winning the Morocco Mole removes another head and advances to the Semi-Finals! Combat Log Bene Elim fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Aug 17, 2015 |
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Aug 17, 2015 15:27
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Shameful display of vote-rigging from the party moles.
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Aug 17, 2015 15:30
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Aug 17, 2015 15:31
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Good, eat poo poo and die Jeremy Corbyn.
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Aug 17, 2015 15:37
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Quarterfinals Fight 1 Icipation is a female Soldier Ant Woman fighter managed by pun pundit. She equips a silver hammer, 3 oak shields, and adamantine gauntlets. Citizen Pain is a male Tigerman fighter managed by Locomotive breath. Dual silver mauls, some iron armor, and one piece of steel adorn his body.  They meet and the tigerman, Citizen Pain, takes a nasty blow to the hand. His hand is fractured and he drops the maul to his feet. Will his one remaining maul be enough?  Probably not... The next two blows are to the tigermans head and chest, fracturing his skull and bruising his heart!   The huge tiger roars defiance and brings his remaining maul down on the antwomans left leg, causing it to pulpify and causing her to fall to the floor. You can see antman inchor (light grey just below the antwoman) on the screenshot. Citizen Pain kicks the prone antwoman and her right foot explodes into pieces right after. Citizen Pain brings the hammer down again and one of the antwomans arms is crushed.  The antwomans left leg is crushed for a second time, and then she mercifully passes out. Her head is crushed next.  Citizen Pain with his fractured skull Winner: Citizen Pain Combat Log
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Aug 17, 2015 17:37
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Well done, Citizen Pain.
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Aug 17, 2015 17:48
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First you kill my beautiful Holy Moley and then you don't even have the courtesy to win the rest of the tournament? For shame.
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Aug 17, 2015 19:03
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That's right, I lost that round just to spite you.
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Aug 17, 2015 19:08
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You had me worried for a minute there, Citizen Pain. You better win this bloody thing.
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Aug 17, 2015 20:16
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Random.org giveth and random.org taketh away.
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Aug 17, 2015 21:56
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RIP Corbae.
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Aug 17, 2015 23:43
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Well, as a humble and modest victor, I will simply say that Citizen Pain won 100% through skill and talent and obviously deserve the Gold, if only because he is clearly the hero of the common people, as evidenced by his many supporters. Now, as for whether or not he's actually gonna win, I can at least confirm for you that it's definitely a maybe. Perhaps.
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Aug 18, 2015 01:50
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After dashing the hopes and dreams of the ant Icipation, he better.
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Aug 18, 2015 05:42
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I have bet large and bet poorly. Should have put it all on tigermen.
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Aug 18, 2015 18:05
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Afriscipio posted:I have bet large and bet poorly. Should have put it all on tigermen. Like I did! Bet against me and take my money, everyone.
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Aug 18, 2015 18:07
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Sorry for the brief hiatus all. Round whatever, fight whatever Zwinglemming is a male Dwarf fighter managed by Zwingley. Two silver hammers swing easily in his hands. Leather armor is all he brought in order to stop the ferocious bites from his opponent. First Round Casualty is a male Strangler fighter managed by AnoHito. Iron and Steel cover his body. Unarmed hands grasp the air in anticipation.  The Fighters charge. The strangler, First Round Casualty, lunches facefirst and bites the dwarf on the arm. Zwinglemming connects with his hammer, bruising the stranglers left kidney. The Strangler immediately shows his skill with his teeth and shakes the dwarf by the arm, ripping the arm to shreds. Zwinglemming figures an arm for an arm is fair, so he splatters one of the First Round Casualty's four hands into paste.  First Round Casualty grabs the dwarf by the tongue, knocking out some teeth at the same time. Also pictured is one of the dwarfs hammers on the floor.  The strangler shakes and shakes and shakes the poor dwarf. Zwinglemming is torn to shreds, his legs are usless, his arm continues to get thrashed... His return strokes bruise the stranglers lung and other parts of his body, but nothing more. Zwinglemming: I've been wounded. It's annoying.  The dwarfs arteries continue to get torn open by vigorous shaking.  Zwinglemming finally passes out from pain.  He doesn't even get to see his teeth land outside of the arena.  Biting hurts apparently.  The victor. Winner: First Round Casualty continues to prove his name wrong Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Aug 21, 2015 |
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Aug 21, 2015 16:28
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Round something, Final fight Tiger Millionaire is a male Tigerman fighter managed by Lorrdernie. He carries a silver mace and is clad entirely in silver. Looks expensive! Gronk is a male Troll fighter managed by Mygna. He carries a platinum hammer and oak shield, and has minimal copper armor.  The fighters meet and after a few dodges Tiger Millionaire manages to smash the troll in the upper body. Ribs are destroyed, and a lung is bruised! Will this affect the trolls stamina?  Yep, the troll is winded! A few more smashes breaks the trolls arm, forcing him to drop his hammer. A kick to the chest SPARTAAAA style bruises his heart.  Oh snap! Gronk doesn't give two shits about his hammer. He charges and stuns the tigerman!  Even stunned the Tigerman smashes the troll repeatedly. The other lung is bruised, and then the mace connects with Gronks right hand which fractures it. The troll passes out from pain.  Here we see the jerkishness of Tiger Millionaire. Instead of ending the fight he inflicts as many wounds as possible.  Finally he ends the fight. Winner: Tiger Millionaire Combat Log
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Aug 21, 2015 18:06
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pre:Player Name on Tiger Millionaire on Gronk Payout Bad Munki 4,321.00 0.00 7,434.52  I may be in second place, but not by too far!
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Aug 21, 2015 18:12
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As a wholly unbiased party, I for one am glad to see the glorious Tigerpeople race displaying their clear superiority the inferior, non-tiger races. That said I hope Tiger Millionaire gets crushed this round, because Citizen Pain can't possibly be expected to face an opponent of equal size.  Also Bad Munki winning is clearly proof of his collusion with Spermy to rig the results, it's the only logical explanation.
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Aug 21, 2015 18:17
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drat, completely wiped out in the quarterfinals again. I really need to start reversing all my guesses in the quarterfinals.
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Aug 21, 2015 18:48
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Wait I won again? This is bizarre... I mean... YOU COULDVE TAKEN THE EASY WAY OUT GRONK!!! THE COMMISSIONER TALKS ABOUT MY CRUELTY BUT YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME!! WHATS THE HATE OF LOSERS TO A WINNER!? 
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Aug 21, 2015 18:49
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This life insurance scam is starting to feel like a bad idea. I SAID DIE IN THE FIRST ROUND, DAMMIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE SEMIS?
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Aug 21, 2015 18:54
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Is everyones fighter updated?
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Aug 22, 2015 11:34
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Spermy Smurf posted:Is everyones fighter updated? And have we all placed our hard-earned Dorfbucks on the results?
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Aug 22, 2015 12:07
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Spermy Smurf posted:Is everyones fighter updated? The mole's ready.
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Aug 22, 2015 12:36
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Geez twice as much money on me as on the mole... I hope y'all know something I don't...
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Aug 23, 2015 02:18
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I know how to lose Which I guess actually makes for something of a paradox here, hope we don't destroy the universe  But really I'm just going all in against iLonie, it's the only way to settle this. If I don't make a major grab for his money, I lose the betting game anyhow.
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Aug 23, 2015 14:13
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My eyes have cleared from the haze of last night and now I see that it's simply because I am the people's champion. Just look at my adoring fans! 
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Aug 23, 2015 15:04
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Semi-Finals, Fight 1 Citizen Pain is a male Tigerman fighter managed by Locomotive breath. He wields dual silver mauls and wears iron armor with one piece of steel. First Round Casualty is a male Strangler fighter managed by AnoHito. He's unarmed again aside from his chompers, and is clad in iron with a few pieces of steel.  They charge, Citizen Pain manages to bruise the strangler, but FRC bites the tigermans chest. Holy poo poo how big is his mouth? The lung is bruised!  Whats better than bruising one lung? Bruising two! First Round Casualty scratches the tigerman this time and bruises the tigermans other lung through an iron mail shirt. That's some scratch!  Citizen Pain continues to hammer the strangler, but everything is deflected by armor. One good blow is all he needs... A few bites and scratches hurt the tigermans arm.  The tigerman don't take no poo poo from nobody and charges the strangler. FRC is stunned! Time to capitalize, Citizen Pain.  Or just pass out when the strangler bites your ear... And now for your pleasure I give you the rest of the fight in GIF form. No, it's not looping. No, keep waiting. Keep waiting. Keep waiting. Wait some more. THERE! Did you see the Red Exclamation Mark and 2 less squares of blood? That is the beginning. http://i.imgur.com/NN1IYn0.gifv - GIFV which is smaller http://i.imgur.com/NN1IYn0.gif - 10MB GIF Seriously. It was 3 minutes of full-time. The strangler continued to pass out again and again and again. Audience: How long was it? Me: It was so long that I was able to install windows updates and reboot 3 VMs before it finished. :Audience laughter: Audience: How long was it? Me: It was so long that the god drat tigermans ear rotted :Audience laughter: No, seriously. Look.  It rotted on the floor because the fight took so long. Winner: First Round Casualty in the most annoying fight of the tournament. Combat Log
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Aug 24, 2015 15:38
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Good job that strangleman, nice work with the jaw unhinging.
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Aug 24, 2015 15:47
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W-Well... At least Citizen Pain has a chance for the Bronze. drat Stranglers with their drat mouths. Obviously an unfair advantage. 
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Aug 24, 2015 16:51
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Wow. That's a lot of torn head-fat.
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Aug 24, 2015 16:51
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And this is why you should wear a layer of leather armor beneath your mail.
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Aug 24, 2015 17:20
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Semi-Finals, Final fight Tiger Millionaire is a male Tigerman fighter managed by Lorrdernie. Clad entirely in silver, he carries two silver weapons. Morocco Mole is a male Molemarian fighter managed by iLonie. A huge steel sword, a bit of steel armor, and a bunch of other crap armor cover his fugly body.  The gladiators meet and the kittycat proves much faster than the mole. The molemans left front foot is crushed, blood spurts across the arena.  Tiger Millionaire presses his advantage and bruises the hell out of Morocco Moles other leg.  The mole doesn't feel pain, so he is free to strike back. The tigermans left hand goes flying, still clutching the mace. Tiger Millionaire disregards the pain and smashes the moleman in the neck! Only causes a bruise though.  The moleman thrusts the huge sword into the tigermans right forearm. Bone cracks, a silver maul clangs to the floor. Tiger Millionaire is now unarmed. Tiger Millionaire: Gruesome wounds! I must not succumb to fear!  The steel sword lances into the tigers right paw (foot). Tiger Millionaire passes out from pain and collapses to the floor.  His head goes flying a moment later. Winner: Morocco Mole Combat Log
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Aug 24, 2015 17:51
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I will run the bronze match between the two kitty cats in a little bit. After that I'm gone for a week. Someone else will have to run the championship match.
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Aug 24, 2015 17:53
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| # ? May 30, 2024 02:21 |
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Well, I think we all new it was going to come down to this, one way or the other. There can be only one (Tigerman)!!! 
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Aug 24, 2015 18:09
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