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Wizard MD talking to his receptionist: Going to need you to go on a supply run today, here's the office credit card. We need toilet paper, oatmeal cookies for the kids, and I need you to get some low level wizards to recharge these wands. |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 16:23 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 08:25 |
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nurse: "why are you covered in myrrh, doctor wizard MD? doctor wizard MD: "antioxidants. good for the skin. Cheryl, can you get me some pink Himalayan rock salt?" nurse: "ooooh what sort of fancy magic is that for?" doctor wizard MD: "ughh... tacos, Cheryl. fish tacos. Jesus why does EVERYTHING have to be MaGiCaL with you?!? I'm tired of this poo poo." *flicks his wand and poofs away angrily* |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 16:32 |
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google THIS posted:"i'll be frank. you have six weeks to live, tops. I'd like to talk to you about your options for after that." |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 16:37 |
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Wizard MD: This happens all the time. My name is Carl Wizard. I'm just a doctor. |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 16:39 |
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it's really hard to fit a ritual knife into the sharps bin |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 16:45 |
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*sticking pins into voodoo doll* Does this hurt? What about here? |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 16:54 |
google THIS posted:"i'll be frank. you have six weeks to live, tops. I'd like to talk to you about your options for after that." ---------------- |
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# ? Aug 27, 2015 17:05 |
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Patient: So a lot of your work is like Dr. Oz? Wizard MD: The Dr. of Oz is not a real wizard. I'm open to alternative magic but his work is less impressive than the standard satanic ritual. Patient: Satanic ritual!? You're a satanist? Wizard MD: What? No you're missing the point. I'm a wizard doctor, do you really think I'd waste my time listening to some angel who sucked at their job? |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 17:13 |
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Damnit Jim I'm a doctor not at... oh... well... never mind |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:08 |
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lotta classism in this thread |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 19:34 |
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google THIS posted:it's really hard to fit a ritual knife into the sharps bin |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 19:44 |
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Scrubs is so unrealistic...no sigils anywhere |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 19:45 |
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Doogie Potter, MD |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 19:47 |
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*A 70 year old wizard and general practitioner m.d.- he has prepared Polymorph: Healthy Person in every spell slot but one, every day of his adult life.* The only thing that stops a bad guy with a Melf's Acid Bullet, is a good guy with Melf's Acid Bullet. |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 19:49 |
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Modern Wizard towers are subsidized by the municipality, for beneficial long term effect on the area, and constructed by 3rd party contractors. |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 19:53 |
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gently caress. marry. t-rex posted:*A 70 year old wizard and general practitioner m.d.- he has prepared Polymorph: Healthy Person in every spell slot but one, every day of his adult life.* false; the only spell wizard, m.d. needs is wish, which can heal any affliction and even revive the dead, or replicate any wizard spell. it costs 5,000 XP, however, so he needs to play a lot of golf. |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 20:05 |
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J.D. [voiceover]: ...and that's when I realized; Dr. Cox wasn't joking when he said he was a demon from Hell. He really was a demon from Hell, and all that stuff about the sacrifices we make as doctors was literal. [shrugs] I still had a lot to learn... (In the background, Janitor watches impassively as an increasing number of animated mops dump water all over the floor, erasing J.D.'s ley lines) |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 20:17 |
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dogcrash truther posted:J.D. [voiceover]: ...and that's when I realized; Dr. Cox wasn't joking when he said he was a demon from Hell. He really was a demon from Hell, and all that stuff about the sacrifices we make as doctors was literal. [shrugs] I still had a lot to learn... I'm rewatching Scrubs too.
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# ? Aug 27, 2015 20:41 |
yeah i'm a wizard you can call me doc i'll fix you up with my massive spells med malpractice no place for it here check your prostate whole fist in your wallet i cost a lot but it's worth the bucks too bad this rap is bad my rhyming needs work
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# ? Aug 27, 2015 20:45 |
dogcrash truther posted:J.D. [voiceover]: ...and that's when I realized; Dr. Cox wasn't joking when he said he was a demon from Hell. He really was a demon from Hell, and all that stuff about the sacrifices we make as doctors was literal. [shrugs] I still had a lot to learn... ---------------- |
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# ? Aug 27, 2015 20:49 |
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google THIS posted:"i'll be frank. you have six weeks to live, tops. I'd like to talk to you about your options for after that." |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 20:50 |
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dogcrash truther posted:J.D. [voiceover]: ...and that's when I realized; Dr. Cox wasn't joking when he said he was a demon from Hell. He really was a demon from Hell, and all that stuff about the sacrifices we make as doctors was literal. [shrugs] I still had a lot to learn... |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 20:54 |
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dogcrash truther posted:J.D. [voiceover]: ...and that's when I realized; Dr. Cox wasn't joking when he said he was a demon from Hell. He really was a demon from Hell, and all that stuff about the sacrifices we make as doctors was literal. [shrugs] I still had a lot to learn...
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# ? Aug 27, 2015 20:56 |
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bacalou posted:yeah i'm a wizard you can call me doc |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 21:15 |
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as with all surgeries there is a risk of infection, and there is also a 10% chance of critical failure resulting in your disintegration. sign here please. |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 22:33 |
i hate going to wizard doctor, he always makes his prescriptions impossible to find. i have to resort to the weird apothecary
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# ? Aug 27, 2015 22:56 |
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Dr. Cameron: I think it's lupus Dr. House: It's not lupus. Dr. Cameron: But you didn't even look at the charts. Dr. House: I've seen this episode already. Dr. Cameron: Dr. House: Bitch, I'm a wizard. |
# ? Aug 27, 2015 23:40 |
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dogcrash truther posted:Doogie Potter, MD
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 01:07 |
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[to charred skeleton lying on operating table] Oh, whoops, you wanted an X-ray, not a Death Ray... Well I can still see your broken bone |
# ? Aug 28, 2015 01:09 |
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Bwee posted:[to charred skeleton lying on operating table] Oh, whoops, you wanted an X-ray, not a Death Ray... Well I can still see your broken bone |
# ? Aug 28, 2015 01:17 |
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[surgeon, preparing for an appendectomy] time to do some magic *pulls out a multicolored hanky out of the abdomen* |
# ? Aug 28, 2015 01:19 |
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wizard m.d: I'm sorry but we can't save your hand. we have to amputate. me: um, are you sure? my thumb is just kind of sore, I think from knitting maybe? wizard m.d: I know this is hard, but we've done everything we can at this point me: you're going to stick my hand in a jar of formaldehyde and use it in a spooky display aren't you wizardm.d.: look we'll throw in a couple hydrocodone and a lumbar cushion, we just moved offices and this new place feels so sterile, it would really be doing us a huge favor
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 01:30 |
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My doctor always transforms himself into another virus to go in and combat illnesses personally. It always works, but it always leaves me riddled with wizard. Then he charges me again to deal with that, in the same way |
# ? Aug 28, 2015 06:39 |
Lil Cunty posted:wizard m.d: I'm sorry but we can't save your hand. we have to amputate. ---------------- |
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 06:45 |
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Wizard D.O. becomes a Warlock after getting laughed at during the Internists and Illusionists conference.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 07:59 |
Luvcow posted:little billy: thanks for curing me mr. copperfield! Now I can live a healthy fulfilling life! ~sig~ |
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 12:38 |
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Lil Cunty posted:wizard m.d: I'm sorry but we can't save your hand. we have to amputate. |
# ? Oct 3, 2015 08:30 |
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Wizard M.D.- I've read over your file, and I believe I can help you with your condition. Impotence is easily treatable! Patient- What's the treatment? Wizard M.D.- You see, the spell "Snakes to Sticks" is reversible so my plan is to cast it on your uh, afflicted area and Patient- Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA- can you do an anaconda? https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
# ? Oct 3, 2015 13:33 |
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google THIS posted:"i'll be frank. you have six weeks to live, tops. I'd like to talk to you about your options for after that." |
# ? Oct 3, 2015 15:27 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 08:25 |
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Surgeon Wizard M.D.: "Alright, simple operation folks. The patient has an infected appendix, commonly known as appendicitis. Starting with a small incision near the abdomen" (Rolls D20 on surgical implements table, lands on a 2). Nurse: *Eyebrows shoot up as her eyes widen* Surgeon Wizard M.D.: "God! loving BULLSH-" |
# ? Oct 3, 2015 16:18 |