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BonoMan
Feb 20, 2002

Jade Ear Joe

VorpalBunny posted:

My dad died when I was in college, my mom is just a terrible mother, and I was an only child, so my side of the family is very thinly represented in our life. It's basically my mom and that's it. Our extended family are either estranged or uninterested in maintaining family relationships.

My husband's family is pretty strong but scattered all over the country. We do visits with his mom several times a year (she lives in Utah, we live in CA) but his dad and step-mom are local and completely disinterested in being grandparents. When the kids are older, like pre-teens, they will be interested in spending time with them but they just don't know how to interact with toddlers and young kids and don't make an effort to hide it. The irony is, when my kids are pre-teens I doubt my father-in-law or his wife will have the energy to keep up with them - they'll be in their 70s! I wish I could get them to understand that as my kids age, so do they.

As a result, my husband and I are kind of drifting free doing our own thing with almost no family support. No free babysitting, random family dinners every few months, no traditions being created. It kind of bums me out, since I had such a lovely childhood, but I figured we'd make the effort to create traditions ourselves and make our own little family a priority over everyone else.

This is the one thing that bums me out. Having no family support or friends to be supportive (we have friends, but none have kids and they kind of drifted away from us after having our child) is not only incredibly hard, but you feel so underwater the whole time that, even a year in, it's hard to feel like we're starting something. It feels very much survival mode right now. No real fun traditions or family moments yet. And I know that will go away...just kind of a dark place to be sometimes!

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VorpalBunny
May 1, 2009

Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog

BonoMan posted:

This is the one thing that bums me out. Having no family support or friends to be supportive (we have friends, but none have kids and they kind of drifted away from us after having our child) is not only incredibly hard, but you feel so underwater the whole time that, even a year in, it's hard to feel like we're starting something. It feels very much survival mode right now. No real fun traditions or family moments yet. And I know that will go away...just kind of a dark place to be sometimes!

I actually did a quick survey with an unmarried (but living together) couple with no kids. My friend recently celebrated his 40th, and they rented a big house with all their friends their same age. None of them are married, none have kids (but some treat their pets like kids) and he struggled to name people he knows who are married with kids.

My husband and I did a survey of our other friends, and we realized maybe a half-dozen couples are married with kids. The rest (dozens of people) are unmarried but living together with cats, or are still living the single life in their 40s. One of our George Clooney-type friends got married earlier this year, and we all treated it like the apocalypse was coming!

Maybe it's where we live (Southern California), maybe it's this generation, maybe it's the circles I used to hang out with, but the fact that I am married with kids living in the suburbs is pretty wacky to most of my friends.

gninjagnome
Apr 17, 2003

I was actually feeling the opposite - all our friends were sort of drifting away as they had kids. The ratio of kids/adults when people came over was going up, and people were leaving earlier and earlier. It got to the point where everyone would be gone by 8PM. We were one of the last of my circle to have kids, and while we don't get together as much, but at least we're on the same schedules, and there's a bit more to talk about, since we can compare notes on the kiddos.

Oodles
Oct 31, 2005

VorpalBunny posted:

Maybe it's where we live (Southern California), maybe it's this generation, maybe it's the circles I used to hang out with, but the fact that I am married with kids living in the suburbs is pretty wacky to most of my friends.

I've got two very distinct circles of Friends. One is secular, and the other is Christian. The majority of the Christian couples I know, got married mid twenties, now nearing thirty are onto their second child. The secular group of friends, are mostly married, some are in long term relationships - but are only now starting to have kids. But some of them are entering their thirties, and are still partying hard, and by the time they come to start having kids we'll have finished, and be onto a different stage in life.

I guess it's just different strokes for different folks.

Sockmuppet
Aug 15, 2009
Today we were at a rather posh garden party, and that one stark naked kid on the trampoline turned out to be my two year old, who had stripped off her clothes and her diaper, and was gleefully bouncing around, singing "NAKED BABY, NAKED BABY!" I've feel like I've earned another official Parent Merit Badge, along with such favourites as "getting no more than two hours of sleep in one go for a week straight" and "getting shat on and puked on at the same time".

His Divine Shadow
Aug 7, 2000

I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.
Apparently David who is a fussy eater compared to his brother, loves broccoli. Got some broccoli with melted butter on it today and he would have almost nothing else, he ate almost an entire head of broccoli and went "mmmmm" every time.

rgocs
Nov 9, 2011

Sockmuppet posted:

"getting shat on and puked on at the same time".

I always found it quite interesting (albeit understandable) how I did not mind if I got some of our son's bodily fluids on me; but could not stand another baby's spit-up and even the sight of another baby's soiled diaper made me cringe.

His Divine Shadow posted:

Apparently David who is a fussy eater compared to his brother, loves broccoli. Got some broccoli with melted butter on it today and he would have almost nothing else, he ate almost an entire head of broccoli and went "mmmmm" every time.

Well, of course =)

Groke
Jul 27, 2007
New Adventures In Mom Strength

Sockmuppet posted:

Today we were at a rather posh garden party, and that one stark naked kid on the trampoline turned out to be my two year old, who had stripped off her clothes and her diaper, and was gleefully bouncing around, singing "NAKED BABY, NAKED BABY!" I've feel like I've earned another official Parent Merit Badge, along with such favourites as "getting no more than two hours of sleep in one go for a week straight" and "getting shat on and puked on at the same time".

Next level: waking up to find your 7-year-old and your almost-4-year-old have got up first and they are both bouncing around naked on the trampoline and singing/screaming. And they brought an iPad out there and are using the drat thing to make video clips of themselves .

Oodles
Oct 31, 2005

This morning, around 7 our 10 month old was making the usual morning getting annoyed noises.

We went to get her from her room, and found that she'd got out of her cot (on the highest setting) and was on the floor playing with her toys.We didn't hear a thump or massive amounts of crying.

So tonight's job is to lower the cot.

potatocubed
Jul 26, 2012

*rathian noises*
Anyone got any recommendations/stay-away-stories for child safety gates? The kid's about to get mobile and I feel a lot like I'm fumbling around in the dark when trying to choose gates.

lady flash
Dec 26, 2007
keeper of the speed force

potatocubed posted:

Anyone got any recommendations/stay-away-stories for child safety gates? The kid's about to get mobile and I feel a lot like I'm fumbling around in the dark when trying to choose gates.

If the gate is going somewhere with high traffic get a walkthrough.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

We have this one at the top of our stairs and I like it
http://www.mommylivingthelifeofrile...ter-kit-arv-80/

Doorknob Slobber
Sep 10, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

potatocubed posted:

Anyone got any recommendations/stay-away-stories for child safety gates? The kid's about to get mobile and I feel a lot like I'm fumbling around in the dark when trying to choose gates.

We have this gate. It works pretty well. I don't even need the walk through because I'm tall enough to just take a biiiig step over it. The only complaint I have with it is that as he's gotten into toddler-dom his knees are at the perfect size where they can get stuck in between the bars and I have had to pull them apart and pull him out of it a couple times.

His Divine Shadow
Aug 7, 2000

I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.

rgocs posted:

Well, of course =)

Well then, I have SOLVED THE PROBLEM OF BROCCOLI! Just use butter! Will I be rembered as a hero or villain?

flashy_mcflash
Feb 7, 2011

His Divine Shadow posted:

Well then, I have SOLVED THE PROBLEM OF BROCCOLI! Just use butter! Will I be rembered as a hero or villain?

I don't know if it's better or worse than melted butter but cheese sauce (cheese with a roux) also works really well for us. Brussels sprouts too.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

Reason posted:

We have this gate. It works pretty well. I don't even need the walk through because I'm tall enough to just take a biiiig step over it. The only complaint I have with it is that as he's gotten into toddler-dom his knees are at the perfect size where they can get stuck in between the bars and I have had to pull them apart and pull him out of it a couple times.

The thing I never liked about these particular gates (I had some that I used as pet gates) is if you have a big rear end or you are pregnant, its very hard to fit through them.

Ceridwen
Dec 11, 2004
Of course... If the Jell-O gets moldy, the whole thing should be set aflame.

potatocubed posted:

Anyone got any recommendations/stay-away-stories for child safety gates? The kid's about to get mobile and I feel a lot like I'm fumbling around in the dark when trying to choose gates.

Get very tall ones now. Preferably without cross bars to make climbing them easier. Pay attention to whether you have baseboards/where your studs are in the wall/etc. when choosing a gate. You want something permanently mounted to use at the top of the stairs but for most other places pressure mount is fine as long as you've got a place that is suitable. Get a walkthrough option for anywhere with even relatively low levels of foot traffic.

And if you need to block off a fireplace or similar spot I cannot recommend this one enough: http://www.amazon.com/KidCo-G3100-AutoClose-HearthGate-Black/dp/B00DQCESRU

It's expensive compared to other options but the quality is light years better than the other similar products we looked at or tried. For something as high risk as a fireplace it's worth the money.

Tom Swift Jr.
Nov 4, 2008

potatocubed posted:

Anyone got any recommendations/stay-away-stories for child safety gates? The kid's about to get mobile and I feel a lot like I'm fumbling around in the dark when trying to choose gates.

http://www.target.com/p/evenflo-top-of-stair-extra-tall-wood-gate/-/A-13979814#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=extra+tall+wood+gate

Best gate hands down! Although the price has gone up to $39.99, it is still a bargain compared to other wooden swinging gates.

It's super sturdy, tall enough for even my 95 percentile kid, easy for adults to open but hard for kids, swings in two directions (can be set to only swing in one), and once the hardware is in place you can remove it or put it back in seconds.

Stay away from pressure gates. They tend to do damage to drywall even if on a stud and they are a pain to open so you just end up going over them which isn't safe or good for you.

rgocs
Nov 9, 2011

His Divine Shadow posted:

Well then, I have SOLVED THE PROBLEM OF BROCCOLI! Just use butter! Will I be rembered as a hero or villain?

Yeah, butter, melted cheese, cream, we've found work well. And salt, not in excess, but sometimes it's needed. My wife was confused as to why our son would only eat mashed potatoes when I made them, told her she was taking the low-salt-for-your-kid diet a bit too far. Oh, and Parmesan cheese, many food items become acceptable to him when you sprinkle some on top.

amethystbliss
Jan 17, 2006

Does anyone have any good resources for weaning? My 15 month old shows absolutely zero interest in stopping and I'd be okay to go for a while longer, but she's becoming obnoxious about it (must be able to see both breasts, lots of painful poking and prodding, etc.). She eats solids for breakfast and lunch at daycare, but nurses in the evening, night and mornings. I keep trying to redirect her to normal food when she tries nursing but it's not really working out...

amethystbliss fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Aug 27, 2015

hooah
Feb 6, 2006
WTF?
What kinds of things should I be considering when looking for a baby monitor? I know there are video kinds and the old-style audio-only, but besides video or not, what other options and whatnot should I look at when deciding which monitor will be right for us?

BonoMan
Feb 20, 2002

Jade Ear Joe

hooah posted:

What kinds of things should I be considering when looking for a baby monitor? I know there are video kinds and the old-style audio-only, but besides video or not, what other options and whatnot should I look at when deciding which monitor will be right for us?

Good night vision. And, um, that's probably it for me. All of the extra features they all tout (two way communication, lullabies, night lights) we never, ever used. Not once. So basically we got a cheap video monitor (and I'm the techy guy that usually needs top'o'the'line) ... some Levana thing from Woot. Works fine.

Sneeing Emu
Dec 5, 2003
Brother, my eyes

BonoMan posted:

Good night vision. And, um, that's probably it for me. All of the extra features they all tout (two way communication, lullabies, night lights) we never, ever used. Not once. So basically we got a cheap video monitor (and I'm the techy guy that usually needs top'o'the'line) ... some Levana thing from Woot. Works fine.

We ended up getting a Motorola Blink as a gift. It works ok, but the app and website is a buggy piece of poo poo. If I could do it again I'd just get a Nest drop cam. And we could use it as a security camera once we don't need it as a baby camera any more.

Sockmuppet
Aug 15, 2009

hooah posted:

What kinds of things should I be considering when looking for a baby monitor? I know there are video kinds and the old-style audio-only, but besides video or not, what other options and whatnot should I look at when deciding which monitor will be right for us?

Get one with a good range, it's nice to be able to go outside if you've got a garden or a porch or something. Other than that, we just bought the cheapest one we could find without any added bells and whistles. We used audio only until she started standing up in bed, then the camera was nice to see if she was complaining because she couldn't figure out how to lay back down, or if she was just complaining herself to sleep while laying down.

Thwomp
Apr 10, 2003

BA-DUHHH

Grimey Drawer

hooah posted:

What kinds of things should I be considering when looking for a baby monitor? I know there are video kinds and the old-style audio-only, but besides video or not, what other options and whatnot should I look at when deciding which monitor will be right for us?

I'm gonna reiterate that while we got a video monitor with nightvision, we never used the two way function for anything other than a random message every 6 months. However, a co-worker (also a recently new parent) does use the two way function to either put a song/lullaby on or just sings to her baby which puts him right back to sleep.


Just get one close to the baby's due date. That way it's still within the return window once the baby comes and you find out it was too much monitor/has some technical issue (my brother went through a couple that interfered with his home wifi).

sudont
May 10, 2011
this program is useful for when you don't want to do something.

Fun Shoe
My now 2 year old is loving TERRIFIED of the intercom feature on our Levana monitor. It's one of the audio/video, lullaby, nightlight ones. I tried the intercom function with me in the room with him once and he lost his poo poo, totally, to the point that he'd scream when he saw the monitor. He got over that but about 2 months ago, I accidentally pressed the intercom button while I was in the basement and he was in his room playing... let's just say 2 months later, he still, at least once a day, will say out of the blue, "Mama talk on monitor" like it's the worst thing that's ever happened to him. Every night he'll say "Turn the monitor off!" and I pretend to--I had to put layers of tape over the light that indicates it's on to fool him.

So, maybe don't get one with an intercom.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

We just got a wireless webcam off woot when they had a deal and it works fine. I think the ones made specifically for baby monitors purposefully jack up the price. If you have a netbook or smartphone you can use that to monitor it. The fun thing was I could even log in at work and see what is going on!

We no longer use it for its function. Its now what we use to keep an eye on our cats when we go on vacation.

hooah
Feb 6, 2006
WTF?
Yeah, if my Nexus 4 I replaced could charge reliably, I would have kept it and used that (mounting it ...somehow). Thanks for the advice.

rgocs
Nov 9, 2011
We had a video monitor with a 2-way radio thing. We never talked through it; at most we used it a couple of times to shush him back to sleep. The thing would mess up our home wifi too, which sucked.

Regarding the video, I'm not sure how others here used it. I know people who would see their kid waking up in the video and just walk in to pick him up. That never felt right for us and we always waited for our son to actually call out for us. Sometimes we would see him sitting up in his bed for 15 minutes before he called; other times he would lie back down and we'd all get another hour or two of sleep!

VorpalBunny
May 1, 2009

Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog
We went the opposite way, we liked the element of surprise so we never had a monitor of any kind. I liked opening the door to whatever crazy thing was happening on the other side. Would they be wearing their diaper still? Are all the books tossed off the bookcase and onto the floor? Are they actually sleeping? Who knows?! It's like a mystery box every single morning and nap.

Oodles
Oct 31, 2005

We had an audio one with our fist kid, and it was always switched on the loudest setting so my wife could hear her breathing. I'm a light sleeper so I would wake constantly with her shuffling. I would switch it to the mode where it beeped if she cried, but otherwise it was mute.

With our second we got a video one, and for the start it was pretty cool. But now she's 10 months it doesn't get switched on at all. We can hear through the walls of she cries. Maybe that's because it's our second kid and were more blasé about it.

It's also fun hearing crying in the night and trying to triangulate which room it's coming from, as our bedroom is between both girls bedrooms.

Apogee15
Jun 16, 2013
We use a video one. I don't think we even need it anymore, I always hear her through the wall. But my wife is paranoid so she wants to use it. She insists on keeping it full volume too, so we constantly hear a "SHHHHHH" from the fan in her room. Uhg. I usually sneakily turn it down a bit while she isn't looking.

gninjagnome
Apr 17, 2003

hooah posted:

Yeah, if my Nexus 4 I replaced could charge reliably, I would have kept it and used that (mounting it ...somehow). Thanks for the advice.

I tried this with an old android phone and it did not work at all. I just bought a cheap audio only monitor and used that.

sheri
Dec 30, 2002

I bought one that only transmits when the db level us louder than some set value. Just audio, not video. The continual transmission ones where I could hear every turn and rustle woke me up constantly.

GlyphGryph
Jun 23, 2013

Down came the glitches and burned us in ditches and we slept after eating our dead.
I like the video one because it lets me see in the dark. It's also nice to see when he's moving around so we can get the bottle ready before he needs it.

Don't usually use the sound, sometimes we'll turn on the music though.

rgocs
Nov 9, 2011

GlyphGryph posted:

I like the video one because it lets me see in the dark. It's also nice to see when he's moving around so we can get the bottle ready before he needs it.

The video with IR camera was good for some Mission Impossible tasks. For a while our son was a very light sleeper, in more than one occasion I had to sneak into his room at night to get something and would bring the monitor for "night vision" to see if he moved while I was in his room and would have to freeze and wait until he fell back asleep. If he noticed me in the room, I was in for an hour or so of putting him back to bed.

GlyphGryph
Jun 23, 2013

Down came the glitches and burned us in ditches and we slept after eating our dead.
I also have legit night vision binoculars for when I absolutely need to go unnoticed which I used until we got the monitor but the monitor screen is a lot more convenient.

sudont
May 10, 2011
this program is useful for when you don't want to do something.

Fun Shoe
One feature my monitor has that I love and only found out about 2 years into this is you can set it so it only comes on (audio and video) when it senses sound. That would've probably been useful. It's a Levana Jena I think, early model. I still use a monitor because I'm 2 floors below my son's room and he's now in a bed rather than a crib so I need to keep tabs still.

Eris
Mar 20, 2002
I have a tiny apartment and can hear everything but I love the video monitor. Maybe this makes me sound nuts, but I liked being able to reassure myself that she is still breathing.

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rgocs
Nov 9, 2011

Eris posted:

I have a tiny apartment and can hear everything but I love the video monitor. Maybe this makes me sound nuts, but I liked being able to reassure myself that she is still breathing.

As long a you don't go over the top. My cousin bought a sensor that measured her baby's movement and if it didn't detect movement in a certain amount of time it would sound an alarm. Supposed to help avoids SIDS, but she said that between false alarms (sensor messing up) and worrying wether it was working or not, it made her way more stressed than she would've other wise been. As far as I know she didn't use it for her second child.

Fake edit: "As long a you don't go over the top." Not saying do not use the sensors, to each their own, just don't go overly nuts with them.

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