quote:

Easily Gets Hopping Mad
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL | CA, USA | BAD BEHAVIOR, TEACHERS
(I am in first grade and lining up outside the cafeteria for lunch. I’m walking along when I randomly decide to hop the last two steps into the cafeteria. A teacher assigned to watch the students spots me and immediately rushes over.)

Teacher #1: “What are you doing!? You don’t play in the cafeteria!”

(She drags me by my arm over to a nearby chain-link fence and I’m told to face the wall and wait until everyone else goes in. After about five minutes I sneeze very violently, smashing my head into the fence and making a loud racket.)

Teacher #1: “What did I tell you about making a commotion! That’s it; stand here and face the wall and DON’T MAKE A SOUND, YOU LITTLE BRAT!”

(She pushes me into a corner outside the entrance and goes into the cafeteria to check on the other kids. After my lunch period ends she doesn’t come back but, too scared to do anything, I simply stand there for the next 90 minutes as the second and then third graders have their lunch. Eventually a new teacher shows up to watch the final shift with the fourth graders when she spots me still standing in the corner.)

Teacher #2: “Hey, kid, why aren’t you in the cafeteria?”

Me: *tearfully* “But, I’m not supposed to leave.”

(Teacher #2 tries to lead me into the cafeteria to eat, but I refuse to, saying that my lunch period is over and I have to get to class.)

Teacher #2: “Wait, how old are you?”

(After saying I’m in the first grade, she immediately takes me to the office.)

Teacher #2: ” Principal [Name], I found your missing first grader.”

(It turned out that my classroom teacher had phoned into the office that I had been missing for the last two hours and had most of the staff in the school looking for me. Eventually Teacher #1 walks into the office where she ended up being forced to explain why she detained me for so long. After spending several minutes going on about ‘deviant behavior’ and ‘moral failings’ the principal blatantly tells her to list every school violation she saw me perform.)

Teacher #1: *sputtering* “Well, the little brat was hopping around like some demented animal into the cafeteria!”

(Apparently this was more than enough in her mind to justify holding me for so long. Thankfully, the principal disagreed and she was removed from the supervisor roles.)

Stoatbringer posted:

I'm not sure that "Hey baby, could I mine you professionally?" is a great chat-up line.

Postal Parcel posted:

This has probably been asked/answered before, but would/do MRAs hate gay guys? I mean, they're avoiding the worst part of human existence in general, women.

Paladinus posted:

One of the most recognisable MRA faces is Milo Yiannopoulos, who is pretty much 'relentlessly gay'.



Apart from that he is also an actual homosexual.

Spalec posted:

An unironic 'and it was Albert Einstein'

Spalec posted:

An unironic 'and it was Albert Einstein'

Spalec posted:

An unironic 'and it was Albert Einstein'

kazil posted:

When do these guys think Einstein lived? He was an old man when your great grandfather was just 12?

dead in real life posted:

shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: It's simple physics, my dear boy.

kazil posted:

When do these guys think Einstein lived? He was an old man when your great grandfather was just 12?

RabbitWizard posted:

Awesome great grandfather you got there:
He thinks it's somehow a prank to throw an apple at a pigeon.

buteruc posted:

No you didn't.

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Why would you dump coffee all over Albert Einstein

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Why would you dump coffee all over Albert Einstein

Decrepus posted:

As my coffee rushed toward him he discharged an equal amount of fluids from his body at an equal velocity.

Decrepus posted:

As my coffee rushed toward him he discharged an equal amount of fluids from his body at an equal velocity.

canyoneer posted:

quote:

Husband man and I are dedicated cf. Husband texts me from the plane on a business trip last week 'fml, I just got sat next to screaming children.' I empathized as I recently endured a flight with similar issues and never heard anything more, until today.
So no poo poo there he is, on the second leg of a long flight, trapped in a three seat row with a thin waspish mombie and her tiny crotch droppings, screamer lap baby and bouncing babbling toddler. His only goal was to eat his overpriced airport sandwich and take a nap and by the way the preciouses are behaving, he resigns himself to a miserable lack of sleep and goes to tuck in to his meal.
"Excuse me, I'm a vegetarian." the lady deigns to say, in lieu of 'hello,' or 'sorry for my hellians. '
"Congratulations? " Husband man continues to unwrap his sandwich, as she stares at him with loathing.
"I can't have you eat that here, the smell bothers me."
Husband looks up at her, and knowing him didn't miss a beat, "Well, your children are bothering me."
Mombie bear rears in the defense, going on about how she can't believe his nerve and he has a choice not to eat and so forth, all while toddler monkey is bouncing off the seats, climbing through their row like a jungle gym. Husband points out that she had a choice and didn't have to bring her children on the plane and resumes his attempt to eat.
Ding, Ding, Ding. She calls the flight attendant over, loudly explaining that this horrible man is threatening her and won't stop eating his sandwich, which is making her nauseous. The flight attendant asks if he had cursed or threatened anything in particular and Mombie tearfully relates that he dared to say her children were obnoxious.
The flight attendant looks around her full flight and wearily attempts to explain that eating food is not a punishable offense on airlines. Not satisfied, mombie demands to speak to a supervisor. The head flight attendant takes one look at the squalling children and backs away with placating words, only to return with a man grasping a flight voucher and an offer to upgrade my husband to an exit seat.
And that is the tale of how a sandwich rescued his flight and of how our talks for long term b/c solutions commenced in earnest.

EmmyOk posted:

flosofl posted:

I want to believe, but in the deepest reaches of my heart, I know it was written by a racist white college student.

monny posted:

All the CF stuff reminds me of that Chapelle skit where he's a blind KKK leader, except instead of being black, they're all giant manchildren.

sweeperbravo posted:

"lady fluff"


Idk what nightmare world the burnt vag lady lives in where vaseline and vicks are in containers that someone who isn't profoundly blind could confuse, that's sad

Holden MacRoin posted:

BITCHES LEAVE

Wizard of Smart posted:

gently caress. YOURSELF.

Non Serviam posted:

It's obviously fake, but assuming that someone imitating African-American vernacular in a text message is OMG A RACIST is loving moronic.

Zelder posted:

Actually making us black people sound like poorly written background characters from 90s crime shows is racist


"What do you think of that periwinkle and turquoise poo poo for a 3 year old"

quote:

The flight attendant looks around her full flight and wearily attempts to explain that eating food is not a punishable offense on airlines. Not satisfied, mombie demands to speak to a supervisor. The head flight attendant takes one look at the squalling children and backs away with placating words, only to return with a man grasping a flight voucher and an offer to upgrade my husband to an exit seat.

walrusman posted:

I was going to beef with this because they were reseating him on a flight that was supposedly full, but then I saw the mention of the "man grasping a flight voucher" and I thought oh, that makes sense. But can't you just picture the conversation happening off-camera? "Excuse me folks, there's this self-righteous neckbeard back in cattle class making a scene about sitting next to kids, so I need to switch him to a place where he can't cause trouble, otherwise we're going to have to do an emergency landing in Kansas City. We'll pay you!"

Zelder posted:

Weirdly enough, people who define themselves around the fact that they deeply deeply hate children are psychotic weirdos. Who knew?