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We invited 80, but it looks like only around 68 will be coming. The RSVP deadline is next Wednesday and I will have 20 people who haven't responded yet.
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Sep 10, 2015 15:30
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That's one of the most annoying parts of wedding planning - tracking down those RSVPs. How hard is it to drop an already addressed and stamped envelope in the mail? Or to respond to texts and emails when you fail to do that?  It's usually fair to expect 20% declines - less if you have a smaller wedding and more if it's large/destination. We invited 210 and ended up with 160.
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Sep 10, 2015 15:37
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Hi_Bears posted:That's one of the most annoying parts of wedding planning - tracking down those RSVPs. How hard is it to drop an already addressed and stamped envelope in the mail? Or to respond to texts and emails when you fail to do that? We invited 120 and ended up with 73, and 2 couldn't make it the day of due to medical conditions. I guess that's what we get for having a wedding in Rochester in January and inviting a bunch of old, sick folks.
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Sep 10, 2015 16:06
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daggerdragon posted:We invited 120 and ended up with 73, and 2 couldn't make it the day of due to medical conditions. Haha last minute no shows are to be expected too. We had two of those, 1 because of the flu, and another because he had to attend a funeral (both were healthy, young folk). poo poo happens 
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Sep 10, 2015 16:28
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We had a buffet set up, so I wasn't too worried about no shows. They did happen. Some people also just brought a +1 without telling us.
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Sep 10, 2015 16:44
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Related Q for everyone: what are your thoughts on +1's? Do you adhere to the old "no ring, no bring" rule, does everyone get a +1, or do you fall somewhere in between? This has been a controversial topic of discussion among my friends. For my wedding, we had a (so I thought) pretty lenient rule that you had to be married, engaged, living together, or dating for more than 1 year to bring your SO. But some friends believe that this rule is discriminating against single people, and everyone should get a +1. I say, you haven't paid for a wedding and thus don't know what you're talking about. Extra plates rack up costs quickly. And what do you do if someone you didn't give a +1 to asks for one? I think that's rude of them, and I would reject their request unless they had a SO that I didn't know about (who should have been included under the rules we set). I would make an exception if a single friend I really wanted to come wouldn't know anyone else at the wedding, then they should be allowed a date. But for other single friends who will know other singles there, I see no reason to pay $200 for your fling, hookup, or random friend to attend.
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Sep 10, 2015 18:29
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Yes, that is pretty much exactly what we are doing. Down to the single friend who wanted to bring a +1 because she wouldn't know anyone, which was a true fact so we relented.
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Sep 10, 2015 19:11
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We're giving everyone a +1 who doesn't already have an established +1 but that's just because a) I'm horrifically shy and I would have a hard time attending any event that I couldn't bring someone with me who I know will be with me the entire time and b) we're doing casual buffet style so we're only looking at $30 a plate.
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Sep 10, 2015 22:59
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Chessna posted:We're giving everyone a +1 who doesn't already have an established +1 but that's just because a) I'm horrifically shy and I would have a hard time attending any event that I couldn't bring someone with me who I know will be with me the entire time and b) we're doing casual buffet style so we're only looking at $30 a plate. Does being horrifically shy worry you at all about the actual wedding? We don't like being in the center of attention so we felt super uncomfortable during first dance, for example. We also know a bride who fainted during the ceremony because of how nervous/shy she is.
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Sep 10, 2015 23:15
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+1s are only for people in established relationships IMO. You have to draw the line somewhere or your guest list will spiral out of control. Just put the dateless single people at a table together.
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Sep 10, 2015 23:22
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Next to the bar.
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Sep 10, 2015 23:43
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Hi_Bears posted:Related Q for everyone: what are your thoughts on +1's? Do you adhere to the old "no ring, no bring" rule, does everyone get a +1, or do you fall somewhere in between? We didn't care. Bring who ever you want and good luck getting laid...because lets be 100% honest with ourselves and admit the only reason you bring a +1 is you hope to get laid after drinking free booze for 4 hours and seeing a couple dozen super happy couples. Most of my friends are married, engaged or divorced so I'd say there are maybe 6 couples that wouldn't fit your qualifications.
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Sep 11, 2015 04:07
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:+1s are only for people in established relationships IMO. You have to draw the line somewhere or your guest list will spiral out of control. Just put the dateless single people at a table together. I think it depends on the size and style of your wedding. We had a really small wedding (50 guests) and all of our single guests were part of groups of friends. We would never have split them up to have them sit together separately on some sad singles table. Given the size of our wedding we were mainly inviting couples where we already knew both of them anyway. We didn't give any random plus 1s but allowed people to bring their partners, even if we didn't know them super well.
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Sep 11, 2015 06:58
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I'm racking my brain coming up with a script for the ceremony. Just one week left and it's all still rather blank. Everything else is basically set, but the ceremony itself is a big question mark. My friend, the officiant, is going to be writing a good chunk of it, thankfully, but I still have no clue what I want my reading to be. I'm still coming up with vows, too. We are each going to pick a reading for our MOH/BM to do, and I am just racking my brain. I want it to be clever, original, very much ME, but not too out of left field. I'm a big geek (obviously), but I can't find any reading options that aren't REALLY geeky. Any tips for choosing a good one? I just want a fun statement about love or partnership that isn't super sappy and is kinda funny. Any good places to look?
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Sep 11, 2015 07:55
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AlliedBiscuit posted:I'm racking my brain coming up with a script for the ceremony. Just one week left and it's all still rather blank. Everything else is basically set, but the ceremony itself is a big question mark. My friend, the officiant, is going to be writing a good chunk of it, thankfully, but I still have no clue what I want my reading to be. I'm still coming up with vows, too. We had two readings - an extract from 'So long and thanks for all the fish' by Douglas Adams (it's the one here) and A lovely love story by Edward Monkton. They were perfect for us - not too soppy or cutesy and with a bit of humour but they were still about love. We had my mum read the first and two friends read the second together. They did a fab job, particularly my friend who just gave us this 'look' when he read the line 'now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old. Look at them' cheeky git! I did find that it was very hard to find readings that were original as well as being suitable and clever. It turns out that there are a LOT of weddings and probably someone will have thought of everything before you! We settled for just finding readings that meant something to and suited us, whether they were original or not. I did spend some time trawling quotes on goodreads (you can look up favourite authors or poets for ideas). This was also one of my favourite quotes - 'We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love'. We couldn't fit it into our ceremony but I did have it quoted on our programs!
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Sep 11, 2015 10:51
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I'm MARRIED!!! The whole wedding was awesome. Everyone kept asking me if I was nervous and my honest answer was that the being married part was fine, I was only concerned about all of our months of planning working out smoothly. Our photographers told us it was the best "first look" they've ever shot, we both cried through our vows, and after the fact even the venue bartender/wait staff told us how nice all of our guests were. We couldn't have asked for better weather, everything went perfectly. We got to eat all of our food, we got to talk to nearly everyone, we both had a blast and we've had multiple people tell us is was the best wedding they've ever been to. Of course not every wedding has an LED/Fire performer!   AlliedBiscuit posted:We are each going to pick a reading for our MOH/BM to do, and I am just racking my brain. I want it to be clever, original, very much ME, but not too out of left field. I'm a big geek (obviously), but I can't find any reading options that aren't REALLY geeky. Any tips for choosing a good one? I just want a fun statement about love or partnership that isn't super sappy and is kinda funny. Any good places to look? We ended up not using any readings at all, but I found Offbeat Bride had a lot of really fun and slightly geeky suggestions.
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Sep 11, 2015 17:03
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Congratulations! That shot in the trees looks really cool. In other news ugghhhh the guy in charge of our music for the reception is on me about the 95% rating I gave him on Wedding Wire and it just rubs me wrong  Maybe if your singing was a little more in tune I would have given you the full 100%, but when my father in law (who doesn't even speak English) can tell you're out of tune, then I definitely can. The worst part is that I'm willing to bump the score up because who cares (and admittedly they were great with just about everything else) but the review seems to be locked in. Does anyone know how to edit reviews on Wedding Wire or should I just stop stressing about it?
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Sep 11, 2015 19:02
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C-Euro posted:In other news ugghhhh the guy in charge of our music for the reception is on me about the 95% rating I gave him on Wedding Wire and it just rubs me wrong He has some gall to harass you about a fair (and overall positive) review that you left. You should not get pressured or guilted into changing it. Plus, what is he going to do? Tell him it can't be changed, and to leave you alone, and move on with your life.
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Sep 11, 2015 20:09
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Has anyone done/been to a a potluck wedding? We like the idea of community bonding through sharing meaningful food and recipes. Also we are poor twenty-somethings.
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Sep 11, 2015 21:55
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Massasoit posted:Has anyone done/been to a a potluck wedding? I've attended one, it was pretty nice. Just make sure that people are clear about what they are bringing or you could end up with seventeen cakes and some ice. It was really neat to see the different things people made (almost all at the request of the bride/groom) and they were all fantastic. It was also a nice way to not end up with just one sort of food, the group in attendance was pretty diverse so a lot of ethnic stuff showed up that you might not have gotten with traditional catering.
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Sep 11, 2015 22:17
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We just got an email from our videographer saying that they got a letter from a recording company saying that if they put any "popular" music in their videos they will be violating the DMCA. Is this even a thing? We are now being asked to choose music from this indie site and honestly, my wife wants the music she chose in the beginning. Have any of you encountered this? Any ideas about how to get around this stupid recording company bs?
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Sep 12, 2015 00:32
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Had a date all picked out, save the date cards about to be printed, and then found out her brother and sister will be out of town. Now we have a few hours to come up with another date. Wedding planning sucks, doesn't it? Hadn't thought of all this before!
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Sep 12, 2015 01:16
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Massasoit posted:Had a date all picked out, save the date cards about to be printed, and then found out her brother and sister will be out of town. We had to change our date four times 
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Sep 12, 2015 02:51
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:We had to change our date four times We're going to stick with what we had - we were happy with the date and if folks can't come... Oh well!
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Sep 12, 2015 03:10
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We only changed the date because the groom couldn't attend the first three. When we finally got it locked down we weren't moving it for anything.
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Sep 12, 2015 03:45
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I thought you would have venue, caterer and such booked before save the dates.
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Sep 12, 2015 12:53
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Massasoit posted:Has anyone done/been to a a potluck wedding? We're planning on this, too, but there's almost nothing out there about it. I'm thinking we'll probably just ask people to tell us what they're bringing so we can fill out any gaps. Or does that sound like a bad idea?
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Sep 12, 2015 20:56
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22 Eargesplitten posted:We're planning on this, too, but there's almost nothing out there about it. I'm thinking we'll probably just ask people to tell us what they're bringing so we can fill out any gaps. Or does that sound like a bad idea? Could you make some kind of online sign up sheet so you can figure out what you want /need and people can sign up for it? Might help people who aren't natural cooks with ideas or they can sign up for easy stuff/bringing sundries.
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Sep 12, 2015 21:38
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Could do that with a Google form - I've been toying with the idea myself. We found a venue we love!
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Sep 12, 2015 23:26
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Manwich posted:We just got an email from our videographer saying that they got a letter from a recording company saying that if they put any "popular" music in their videos they will be violating the DMCA. Is this even a thing? We are now being asked to choose music from this indie site and honestly, my wife wants the music she chose in the beginning. I've never heard of this but it kind of makes sense that the recording company can pursue unauthorized use/sale of music. Not a lawyer, but would it be possible for your videographer to make a version with popular music for you, that you didn't put online or share publicly? He can use a different version for his website or whatever the recording company might see. Also can you use popular music that isn't owned by this particular recording company?
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Sep 12, 2015 23:29
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Hi_Bears posted:I've never heard of this but it kind of makes sense that the recording company can pursue unauthorized use/sale of music. Not a lawyer, but would it be possible for your videographer to make a version with popular music for you, that you didn't put online or share publicly? He can use a different version for his website or whatever the recording company might see. Also can you use popular music that isn't owned by this particular recording company? Or go all prohibition on it. Give them the video and the audio separate and tell them NOT to put it together. >.>
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Sep 12, 2015 23:44
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Anyone have any experience getting married/attending a wedding on a cruise? My boyfriend and I have kicked the idea around a bit, and it seems nice. I've been married once before, but this would be his first, so I'm completely fine with doing whatever he wants. Neither of us want to plan a wedding at all, so doing something inclusive like a cruise wedding seems ideal. Plus we can go to a cool destination and have fun, and our friends and family could join us if they wanted, and also have a fun trip.
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Sep 13, 2015 05:35
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http://perfectpotluck.com
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Sep 13, 2015 13:01
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I went to a potluck wedding once and it was kind of really tacky, but a lot of that was probably due to it also being a Star Wars theme wedding.
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Sep 13, 2015 13:53
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We've somehow managed to plan a Jewish and Hindu wedding for approximately 300 people while paying for it all ourselves (it's a huge wedding by my standards but by far the smallest wedding anyone in his family has ever had). I haven't gotten disowned, although it seemed like a close thing at times. My parents seem to have mostly come around to everything we're doing and his parents have been totally cool with it from the start. It's happening next month and I can't loving wait to get it over with. There's an end in sight, wedding goons!
A Game of Chess fucked around with this message at 15:30 on Sep 13, 2015 |
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Sep 13, 2015 15:28
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Skutter posted:Anyone have any experience getting married/attending a wedding on a cruise? My boyfriend and I have kicked the idea around a bit, and it seems nice. I've been married once before, but this would be his first, so I'm completely fine with doing whatever he wants. Neither of us want to plan a wedding at all, so doing something inclusive like a cruise wedding seems ideal. Plus we can go to a cool destination and have fun, and our friends and family could join us if they wanted, and also have a fun trip. I worked as a photographer on one such wedding and it was quite nice. They have a planner help you out with such things, which is handy, as there can be more than one wedding going on that day. From what I saw they were quite accommodating. Can't talk to you about pricing, but the venue I saw was really pretty. Definitely a solid option if you're looking for something with minimal planning.
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Sep 13, 2015 16:26
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Hi_Bears posted:I've never heard of this but it kind of makes sense that the recording company can pursue unauthorized use/sale of music. Not a lawyer, but would it be possible for your videographer to make a version with popular music for you, that you didn't put online or share publicly? He can use a different version for his website or whatever the recording company might see. Also can you use popular music that isn't owned by this particular recording company? I actually did chat with a lawyer friend about this and she said most copyright cases deal with "public performance" and maybe a case can be made if you or the videographer blasted it all over YouTube and somehow profited from it, but for your personal use, it's probably fine and you can even make a fair use argument that the videographer is substantially changing the original songs by pairing it with your video. Anyway, proceed at your own risk, not your lawyer, etc. etc.
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Sep 13, 2015 19:42
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Skutter posted:Anyone have any experience getting married/attending a wedding on a cruise? My boyfriend and I have kicked the idea around a bit, and it seems nice. I've been married once before, but this would be his first, so I'm completely fine with doing whatever he wants. Neither of us want to plan a wedding at all, so doing something inclusive like a cruise wedding seems ideal. Plus we can go to a cool destination and have fun, and our friends and family could join us if they wanted, and also have a fun trip. My caution on this is that it really depends on your guest list. If you have people who you would love to have at your wedding (or relations who would love to be there/would be problematic socially to not invite) who have children, normal 9-5 jobs, a limited budget, or, most likely, all of the above, a cruise wedding is not going to be popular. An average wedding, even some distance away, generally requires a couple of hours of travel at most, taking maybe Friday off of work if you have a longer trip, one nice outfit, and a medium-nice gift. Still, we all recognize that it does place a substantial burden on our guests. They are using vacation time, spending money, sitting in traffic, etc, etc. A cruise wedding requires longer travel to the point of departure, several days off of work, a very large expenditure on tickets, several nice outfits. If you have children, multiply the difficulty and expense by another factor. You're asking a lot, financially, socially, and emotionally, out of every single guest. I'm a professional in my early thirties with no kids and plenty of money. If someone invited me on a cruise wedding, I would not go unless they were a member of my immediate family who I also liked a lot, and even then, I'd probably be irritated.
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Sep 13, 2015 21:58
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Is there an appropriate window within which you have to send thank you cards? Our wedding was August 22nd, and our cards probably won't go out until the end of this month as we want to put one of our wedding pictures on them, BUT we won't have the nice digital proofs for a couple weeks. Also, thank you cards for everyone, or only people who gave gifts?
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Sep 13, 2015 22:21
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C-Euro posted:Is there an appropriate window within which you have to send thank you cards? Our wedding was August 22nd, and our cards probably won't go out until the end of this month as we want to put one of our wedding pictures on them, BUT we won't have the nice digital proofs for a couple weeks. I think general etiquette rules give you 3 months post wedding to get it done. Even though ALL of your pictures might not be ready for weeks, photographers will often have a handful edited pretty soon after wedding to post on their blog, etc. You can probably ask your photog if they can email you a few edited photos before the bulk of them are ready, so that you can go ahead and order those thank you cards. I believe etiquette also dictates that you should thank everyone who attended your wedding, but personally I only wrote them for those who gave gifts. My advice for not yet married couples is to order a set of thank you cards to use before the wedding (maybe with engagement pics). Writing thank you notes as gifts roll in is MUCH easier than letting them pile up. I found it easy to tackle two or three each night, and post-honeymoon me was very grateful to have fewer to write.
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Sep 13, 2015 22:33
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