corn in the bible posted:

how is fam a "new slang term"

corn in the bible posted:

Bobby Digital posted:

I'm going to interpret this as the creator looks like a lesbian.

quote:

The Mother Of All Fake Complaints
RETAIL | CHICAGO, IL, USA | BAD BEHAVIOR, LANGUAGE & WORDS
Older Older Guy: “Do you guys have [item]?”

Me: “I believe it’s on [aisle], but let me confirm real quick.” *asks manager, who is two registers away and answers that we don’t carry the item in question*

Older Guy: “Oh, no, don’t ask HER!”

Me: “That person is my manager, sir. She knows this store like the back of her—”

Older Guy: *cuts me off* “Oh, no, I spoke with her earlier! She’s… well, she’s not very professional at all.”

Me: *dumbfounded* “I don’t see how you could have gotten that impress—”

Older Guy: *cuts me off again, eyes cast down* “Oh, when I went to talk to her, she was on the phone with her mother! I had to interrupt her! That’s not very professional at all. I know, you see, I was in business for seventeen years.”

(I HAVE seen my manager, who does the work of three people and still manages the store and a burgeoning staff with a smile, take brief calls to round up the next shift for schedule changes – but only while stocking shelves and never for more than a few moments. She’s been very patient and kind with me, so I’m quite fond of her.)

Me: *breaks out college vocabulary, something I’ve found shuts down snobby customers* “Well, sir, I’m very sorry you garnered such an impression of her. She’s always been eminently professional in my interactions with her.”

(It works, but he keeps forlornly grumbling about “seventeen years in business” and “never acted that way myself” until I finish ringing him up. When I have to do returns, I find my manager and tell her what he said. She bursts out laughing.)

Manager: “Yeah, I remember that guy! He wanted me to walk him to a hundred items on his list individually and got mad when I wouldn’t… And my mother’s been deceased for years!”

(I joked that she should take the guy’s behavior as a compliment: since she doesn’t make mistakes, people have to make things up if they want to complain about her!)

Khazar-khum posted:

College vocabulary.

Khazar-khum posted:

College vocabulary.

ibntumart posted:

I was hoping NAR would format it more like
Me: *breaks out college vocabulary, something I’ve found shuts down snobby customers* “Well, sir, I’m very sorry you penised such a(n) penis of her. She’s always been penisly professional in my interactions with her.”

Weatherman posted:

I'm in Mister Donut and Bohemian Rhapsody is playing. I feel compelled to marry the counter clerk and then applaud the imminent entrance of Albert Einstein.

Samizdata posted:

But you have to get everyone singing along for that event to trigger...

quote:

Don’t Get Lippy About God
PRESCHOOL | IL, USA | FAMILY & KIDS, RELIGION, STUDENTS
(My mom is a preschool teacher. One of her students has a cleft lip. This happens on the first day of school.)

Boy: “Why is your mouth like that?”

Girl: “Because that’s the way God made me.”

Boy: “What’s God?”

Girl: “He made everybody. He made me with a cool mouth, and he made you with silly hair.”

(They ended up becoming best friends. The girl got surgery to correct her cleft lip, and the boy ended up getting a haircut.)

Bobby Digital posted:

I'm going to interpret this as the creator looks like a lesbian.

Khazar-khum posted:

This is lovely.

corn in the bible posted:

how is fam a "new slang term"

The Iron Rose posted:

This one is almost sweet and not self aggrandizing. Refreshing that.

Lady Naga posted:

How does one "look" like a sexuality, exactly?

Paladinus posted:

Are you familiar with the concept of stereotypes?

Khazar-khum posted:

And they must know all the lyrics.

Lady Naga posted:

Oh so it's a gross homophobic thing, gotcha.

Khazar-khum posted:

This is lovely.

Postal Parcel posted:

It's like Mad Libs

Khazar-khum posted:

JFC.

quote:

Me: “Thank you for calling [Wireless Company]. My name is [My Name]. May I have your name, please?”

Dogfish posted:

They just mean "butch" when they say "lesbian" but they don't know the word for it because lots of people who aren't embedded in queer communities don't. You can definitely look like a butch. That's part of the point.

Danger Mahoney posted:

Is that the proper term for the "fat 14-year-old boy halfway through a punk phase" look?

corn in the bible posted:

sometimes butch lesbians look like thin 14-year-old boys

corn in the bible posted:

sometimes butch lesbians look like thin 14-year-old boys

Vincent Van Goat posted:

quote:

Video Game Store
Dallas, TX, USA
(Note: I am white.)
(A man with his very small son comes up to the counter with a copy of Call of Duty.)
Man: I’d like to buy this game for my son.
Me: I’m sorry, sir, but you are aware that this game is rated M, right?
Man: And what’s that supposed to mean? Just ring me up.
Me: I can’t allow you to buy this without first making you aware that this game contains–
Man (Suddenly screaming): I DON’T F****ING CARE, YOU N**** SL**! MY SON WANTS THIS F***ING GAME, AND YOU ARE GOING TO F***ING LET ME BUY IT! ONLY NOW I WANT IT FOR FREE BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN RUDE TO ME!
Me: I-I can’t do that, sir.
Man: GET ME YOUR F***ING MANAGER!
(I run and get my manager.)
Manager: What seems to be the problem?
Man: YOUR DUMBA** EMPLOYEE WON’T LET ME BUY THIS GAME FOR MY KID, BECAUSE SHE’S A N**** S*** WHO WILL NEVER GET A REAL JOB BECAUSE SHE’S A LAZY B****! LOOK, MY SON IS CRYING BECAUSE YOU WON’T GIVE HIM THIS GAME!
(His son is crying, but he’s holding his ears.) Son (Mumbling): Daddy, you’re being shouty…
Man: SO GET ME THIS F***ING GAME OR I’LL HAVE YOU ALL FIRED!
Manager: Get out of here.
Man: WHAT?
Manager: Take your son, and get the f*** out of here before I call the police. You’ve been insulting my employee, and I won’t stand for that.
Man: RRAAAAAGH!
(He suddenly goes berserk, destroying everything he can get at. He punches my manager in the face, then begins to take off his clothes and urinate on the ruined merchandise.)
Manager: There’s something you need to know about the employee you’ve insulted…
Man: AND WHAT IS THAT, YOU PIECE OF S***?
(I get out from behind the desk, and kick him in the balls.)
Manager: She’s a black belt in karate, and doesn’t take kindly to people punching her boyfriend in the face.
(The man grabs his son and runs like hell, but he drops his wallet, with his ID inside. We bandaged my boyfriend’s nose,and took the man to court, where he was found guilty of vandalism, assault, and, as we later found out, resisting arrest. Needless to say, he was permanently banned from the store.)

ibntumart posted:

ibntumart posted:

Man: RRAAAAAGH!

ibntumart posted:

Video Game Store
Dallas, TX, USA
(Note: I am white.)

Thump! posted:

What the hell is she censoring with N****?

Nasty?