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Your Gay Uncle
Feb 16, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Breetai posted:

Ever play the game Driver?

The beginning unskippable tutorial had you doing bullshit tricks that were incredibly hard and actually acted as a barrier to entry to some people trying to play the game. I tried playing a copy a friend loaned me and gave up completely after 20 minutes of futzing about in a parking lot, having never actually seen the game world.

I borrowed that game from a friend and he told the tutorial was mandatory. So I started the tutorial and after about an hour I finally beat it. Turns out the tutorial in the menu doesn't count, you have to start a new game and then do that tutorial to continue the game. I had to do that whole lovely tutorial twice.

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Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

sticklefifer posted:

I find it to be an even cheaper twist considering they just did the same reveal with Liquid Ocelot in 4.
well, Ocelot needed to practice hypnotherapy a lot before doing it to himself.

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

SirPhoebos posted:

What's dragging down Diablo 3 is how bland the player character is when it comes to dialogue. The NPCs and Mercenaries are cliché, sure, but they're colorful and seem at least invested in their role. The player, meanwhile, has nothing interesting to say and makes no attempt to interact with anyone besides ":geno: how's your side-story coming?" or ":geno: this is my pre-battle line". It's made worse that save for a few pronouns your dialogue is unaffected by the character you picked. Most notable is the Male Barbarian, since he's supposedly the same dude from D2, but his lines with Cain and Tyreal gives no hint of this.

They did actually end up saying it's NOT the same Barb from D2

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Gridlocked posted:

They did actually end up saying it's NOT the same Barb from D2

What? That blows. Stop messing with my headcanon.

The Moon Monster
Dec 30, 2005

Krinkle posted:

The problem with diablo 3 is how anyone gives even the slightest of fucks who you are before you do anything. In diablo 2 you're following around the wanderer and never quite catching up. Everyone you meet is just "holy poo poo! we got problems! that guy really messed us up! for god's sake grab a bucket and help us with all these fires" and every boss you intrude on basically says "who let you in here?" like you don't even matter. It owned! Now you have every boss calling you up every 30 seconds from when you enter their zone to when you kill them to taunt you about every single quest stage you'll "never be able to do".

I never really cared about the story in Diablo games but the whole nephilim plot point moved me from "don't care" to "actively dislike". My dude is badass because he's just that super badass! Come on!

The only game that uses the nephilim concept well is the Dominions series and there they're basically just copying the source material.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

SirPhoebos posted:

What? That blows. Stop messing with my headcanon.
The Monk is actually the Monk from Hellfire, though. However, Hellfire is still non-canon, except for the Monk.

Somfin
Oct 25, 2010

In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.

Nap Ghost

The Moon Monster posted:

I never really cared about the story in Diablo games but the whole nephilim plot point moved me from "don't care" to "actively dislike". My dude is badass because he's just that super badass! Come on!

The only game that uses the nephilim concept well is the Dominions series and there they're basically just copying the source material.

Yeah that irked me too.

"You're strong!"

"Yeah I am! I beat the poo poo out of monsters all day long!"

"You're really strong! Like, super strong! Like, inhuman!"

"Yeah, because I loot tombs and kick demons in the face!"

"No, that's not why you're special. You're literally not human. Seriously."

"What?"

"I mean you're part of a unique and ancient breed of what would become humanity. Each and every one of you is better than human. You didn't earn poo poo, you're inherently stronger and braver than any human can ever be. You take any one of you guys, boom, hero. Incidentally, that is literally the only reason that you were able to do any of this, because you are super-special. Your parents were, I mean. You're just the result of them getting it on. Hero babies."

That poo poo can gently caress right off. I do not play ARPGs to have poo poo handed to me on a silver platter. I don't want to play Inherently Better Child Of Probably More Interesting Parents, I want to play Overcoming Weakness.

There is a reason that Link gets the Triforce of Courage, instead of Power or Wisdom. He's not strong, he's not smart, he's just brave and willing to put his puny, fragile human body in danger for the sake of making the world better. He's weird because he's willing to take risks that normal people would not want to take. That poo poo is interesting, that poo poo has pathos. You can make interesting scenes out of that. Villains can ask Link why he does what he does. You can put yourself in those shoes- he's just like me, but he's brave enough to do the stuff that I want to do. I understand that he feels pain when he gets hurt. Diablo 3 says "Yeah, also, you're an unrelateable conflux of demonic and angelic energy and have been from the start, don't you feel special now?" No I do not, I feel like I'm me, sitting in my comfy gaming chair, clicking on a screen to make something that I now cannot relate to beat up other things.

Somfin has a new favorite as of 01:21 on Sep 23, 2015

RyokoTK
Feb 12, 2012

I am cool.
what kind of super nerd writes these words about diablo

of all the fuckin games, seriously

Morglon
Jan 13, 2010

Safe and sound, detached from reality.
Just like your posting.
Diablo has a story?

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

Morglon posted:

Diablo has a story?

"Are you a bad enough dude to kill the demons and steal their poo poo?"

Everything else is Blizzard pretending it isn't staffed by gibbering manchildren.

Nuebot
Feb 18, 2013

The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money
So here's a dumb thing I don't like about Phantom Pain. Stun is no longer forever. In Ground Zeroes you knocked a dude the gently caress out and he got a red - - - over his head and was out cold until you decided to throw him off a cliff. Now it's just a blue STN and he wakes up a while later.

Tiberius Thyben
Feb 7, 2013

Gone Phishing


Nuebot posted:

So here's a dumb thing I don't like about Phantom Pain. Stun is no longer forever. In Ground Zeroes you knocked a dude the gently caress out and he got a red - - - over his head and was out cold until you decided to throw him off a cliff. Now it's just a blue STN and he wakes up a while later.

Yeah. There are three kinds of non lethal downs as far as I can see. Sleeping darts knock people out with ZZZs, and is temporary, but usually they don't set off an alarm when they wake back up. Stun is temporary, but does set an alarm off. Finally, if you hold someone up, they stay down forever, but set off an alarm if found, and if an alert goes off, all held up soldiers get back up and attack.

Somfin
Oct 25, 2010

In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.

Nap Ghost

RyokoTK posted:

what kind of super nerd writes these words about diablo

of all the fuckin games, seriously

Remember how much better Skyrim's story was because your character was born special and got their own secret society because of their special birth?

Cleretic
Feb 3, 2010
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!

Somfin posted:

Remember how much better Skyrim's story was because your character was born special and got their own secret society because of their special birth?

I want my Random-rear end Mute Prison Fugitive Murderhobo's Rise To Archmage Quest* games back.

*Reason for prison sentence is up for debate; personally, I go with 'drunken brawl'.

kazil
Jul 24, 2005

A fancy little mouse🐁!

Nuebot posted:

So here's a dumb thing I don't like about Phantom Pain. Stun is no longer forever. In Ground Zeroes you knocked a dude the gently caress out and he got a red - - - over his head and was out cold until you decided to throw him off a cliff. Now it's just a blue STN and he wakes up a while later.

Extract literally everything. A guard can't get up and sound an alarm if he's at motherbase :colbert:

Nuebot
Feb 18, 2013

The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

kazil posted:

Extract literally everything. A guard can't get up and sound an alarm if he's at motherbase :colbert:

That's usually what I do now that I have fultons. Russian sees his buddy go up into the sky, decides to investigate then gets sent into the sky. Repeat until base is empty.

NoEyedSquareGuy
Mar 16, 2009

Just because Liquor's dead, doesn't mean you can just roll this bitch all over town with "The Freedoms."
When you extract a shipping crate in MGS5, there will be a second or two where Snake still pushes up against it even though it's floating in the air above him. Truly an immersion ruining oversight.

Croccers
Jun 15, 2012

NoEyedSquareGuy posted:

When you extract a shipping crate in MGS5, there will be a second or two where Snake still pushes up against it even though it's floating in the air above him. Truly an immersion ruining oversight.
I know why they do that, but I'm sad the game doesn't allow you to get crushed under one of them.
And MGS is meant to be the game of little things :(

Leal
Oct 2, 2009

Nuebot posted:

That's usually what I do now that I have fultons. Russian sees his buddy go up into the sky, decides to investigate then gets sent into the sky. Repeat until base is empty.

And then they start shooting at fulton balloons on sight.

E: A thing that drags down the adaptive guards for MGS5 is that ok, you can dial back guards wearing helmets or night vision goggles or gas masks by sending out your combat unit but here is the problem: It can take 30-40 minutes for them to finish it (and possibly fail), but the enemy will start using them again like half an hour later. So you send your 2 units out (I know you can get more later, but you start getting adaptive guards much sooner) to take out say NVG and flashlights and wait half an hour, then do a mission or 2 and bam the guards have those things again. It'd be better if I could, for a constant fee and risk of losing soldiers, just send a unit out to constantly prevent the enemy from getting flashlights or the like.

Leal has a new favorite as of 07:50 on Sep 23, 2015

Nuebot
Feb 18, 2013

The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

Leal posted:

And then they start shooting at fulton balloons on sight.

E: A thing that drags down the adaptive guards for MGS5 is that ok, you can dial back guards wearing helmets or night vision goggles or gas masks by sending out your combat unit but here is the problem: It can take 30-40 minutes for them to finish it (and possibly fail), but the enemy will start using them again like half an hour later. So you send your 2 units out (I know you can get more later, but you start getting adaptive guards much sooner) to take out say NVG and flashlights and wait half an hour, then do a mission or 2 and bam the guards have those things again. It'd be better if I could, for a constant fee and risk of losing soldiers, just send a unit out to constantly prevent the enemy from getting flashlights or the like.

I haven't run into any of that yet and I fear it. It sounds kind of annoying. But then again anything I don't want to abduct just gets shot in the face and my primary tactic of fighting is to just sprint towards dudes and punch them in the back of the head.

One thing I don't like, and another change from Ground Zeroes, is that enemies never seem to drop alert status anymore. Once you get detected and they start calling in reinforcements you're kind of boned unless you manage to go on some crazy murder spree and kill literally everyone in a short time frame.

bewilderment
Nov 22, 2007
man what



Nuebot posted:

I haven't run into any of that yet and I fear it. It sounds kind of annoying. But then again anything I don't want to abduct just gets shot in the face and my primary tactic of fighting is to just sprint towards dudes and punch them in the back of the head.

One thing I don't like, and another change from Ground Zeroes, is that enemies never seem to drop alert status anymore. Once you get detected and they start calling in reinforcements you're kind of boned unless you manage to go on some crazy murder spree and kill literally everyone in a short time frame.

Enemies will definitely drop combat alert status if you can lose them. Losing them once they've properly spotted you can be difficult, though.

Phobophilia
Apr 26, 2008

by Hand Knit

Somfin posted:

Yeah that irked me too.

"You're strong!"

"Yeah I am! I beat the poo poo out of monsters all day long!"

"You're really strong! Like, super strong! Like, inhuman!"

"Yeah, because I loot tombs and kick demons in the face!"

"No, that's not why you're special. You're literally not human. Seriously."

"What?"

"I mean you're part of a unique and ancient breed of what would become humanity. Each and every one of you is better than human. You didn't earn poo poo, you're inherently stronger and braver than any human can ever be. You take any one of you guys, boom, hero. Incidentally, that is literally the only reason that you were able to do any of this, because you are super-special. Your parents were, I mean. You're just the result of them getting it on. Hero babies."

That poo poo can gently caress right off. I do not play ARPGs to have poo poo handed to me on a silver platter. I don't want to play Inherently Better Child Of Probably More Interesting Parents, I want to play Overcoming Weakness.

There is a reason that Link gets the Triforce of Courage, instead of Power or Wisdom. He's not strong, he's not smart, he's just brave and willing to put his puny, fragile human body in danger for the sake of making the world better. He's weird because he's willing to take risks that normal people would not want to take. That poo poo is interesting, that poo poo has pathos. You can make interesting scenes out of that. Villains can ask Link why he does what he does. You can put yourself in those shoes- he's just like me, but he's brave enough to do the stuff that I want to do. I understand that he feels pain when he gets hurt. Diablo 3 says "Yeah, also, you're an unrelateable conflux of demonic and angelic energy and have been from the start, don't you feel special now?" No I do not, I feel like I'm me, sitting in my comfy gaming chair, clicking on a screen to make something that I now cannot relate to beat up other things.

This kind of thing drags down Path of Exile, a diablo-like game that I thought, until recently, had a good storyline.

You are not that special, you were a bit of a badass in your earlier life, but not badass enough to not get caught, and transported to not-Australia. You arrive amidst a pile of drowned corpses of your fellow prisoners, who immediately rise up as zombies and try. As you head inland (the "path" of the exile), you gain more and more power, and meet more hosed up monstrosities. And your power is not derived from within, but from without. The reason why everyone in Australia has special powers is because everyone is wearing magical gems, and the only reason you're surviving is because you're using them better. There's a cool merge between gameplay and story: most of the skills your enemies use are replicated by your gems.

This holds well for the first 3 acts. But the 4th act is cheesy, stereotypical, and poorly paced. You climb a mountain to kill an ancient demon and a hundred year old wizard, and in doing so, save the world. Why? Your character has never had a motive to try and save the world, you only look out for number one, and the only thing driving you through the first 3 acts was power and revenge. And why are we fighting this wizard and corrupted heroes from the history of Wraeclast? Their names have been heavily mentioned in the lore, but only as flavour, and there is no real reason for you and them to be fighting. Finally, the pacing is bad, it's too long, and there are long sections that have only a tangential relationship with the preceding acts (which are entered through magical portals into dreamworlds).

Judge Tesla
Oct 29, 2011

:frogsiren:

Krinkle posted:

The problem with diablo 3 is how anyone gives even the slightest of fucks who you are before you do anything. In diablo 2 you're following around the wanderer and never quite catching up. Everyone you meet is just "holy poo poo! we got problems! that guy really messed us up! for god's sake grab a bucket and help us with all these fires" and every boss you intrude on basically says "who let you in here?" like you don't even matter. It owned! Now you have every boss calling you up every 30 seconds from when you enter their zone to when you kill them to taunt you about every single quest stage you'll "never be able to do".

"Arrogant Nephalem!" will be the words every D3 player takes to their grave.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

I was just disappointed that Cain's final words weren't to give you the "Please, listen to me" speech that the dying guy in Diablo 1 gives you.

"She lead us down there to find the Black Soulstone... the bastard led us into a trap! Now they're all dead, killed by a demon they call Diablo."

Judge Tesla
Oct 29, 2011

:frogsiren:
Cain was killed by Maghda, the Butterfly woman, which is a pretty miserable death for one of the series's major characters.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔
The name alone is a loving problem. You have DIABLO the DEVIL IN SPANISH and BELIAL the LORD OF LIALS and ASMODAN the BIGGEST rear end IN TOWN. And Maghhhhhda.

My grandmother's coffee pals are called Magda. Come on!

KozmoNaut
Apr 23, 2008

Happiness is a warm
Turbo Plasma Rifle


In my mind, the Diablo canon ended after D2: LoD, and D1 was the best and most atmospheric game in the series. The many varied catacombs of D2 were neat and all, but nothing matched the oppressive and foreboding feeling you got the first time you ventured into the dungeons below Tristram. The sound design and soundtrack was absolutely spot on, too.

No isometric action RPG has been able to match the original.

KozmoNaut has a new favorite as of 13:57 on Sep 23, 2015

RillAkBea
Oct 11, 2008

Leal posted:

And then they start shooting at fulton balloons on sight.

E: A thing that drags down the adaptive guards for MGS5 is that ok, you can dial back guards wearing helmets or night vision goggles or gas masks by sending out your combat unit but here is the problem: It can take 30-40 minutes for them to finish it (and possibly fail), but the enemy will start using them again like half an hour later. So you send your 2 units out (I know you can get more later, but you start getting adaptive guards much sooner) to take out say NVG and flashlights and wait half an hour, then do a mission or 2 and bam the guards have those things again. It'd be better if I could, for a constant fee and risk of losing soldiers, just send a unit out to constantly prevent the enemy from getting flashlights or the like.

Research a tranquilizing sniper rifle then find the master gunsmith and add a silencer. Congratulations, you just trivialized the entire game. :getin:

Orange Fluffy Sheep
Jul 26, 2008

Bad EXP received

Simply Simon posted:

The name alone is a loving problem. You have DIABLO the DEVIL IN SPANISH and BELIAL the LORD OF LIALS and ASMODAN the BIGGEST rear end IN TOWN. And Maghhhhhda.

My grandmother's coffee pals are called Magda. Come on!

Why does your grandmother have coffee with demon lords?

AlphaKretin
Dec 25, 2014

A vase to face encounter.

...Vase to meet you?

...

GARVASE DAY!

I want to make some joke about Magda Szubanski but :effort:.

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

The whole Nephallim thing didn't bug me so much because it tied into the mechanic where enemies occasionally dropped orbs that let you go super-saiyan.

Morpheus
Apr 18, 2008

My favourite little monsters

Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

Why does your grandmother have coffee with demon lords?

They bring the best biscuits.

Action Tortoise
Feb 18, 2012

A wolf howls.
I know how he feels.

Leal posted:

And then they start shooting at fulton balloons on sight.

E: A thing that drags down the adaptive guards for MGS5 is that ok, you can dial back guards wearing helmets or night vision goggles or gas masks by sending out your combat unit but here is the problem: It can take 30-40 minutes for them to finish it (and possibly fail), but the enemy will start using them again like half an hour later. So you send your 2 units out (I know you can get more later, but you start getting adaptive guards much sooner) to take out say NVG and flashlights and wait half an hour, then do a mission or 2 and bam the guards have those things again. It'd be better if I could, for a constant fee and risk of losing soldiers, just send a unit out to constantly prevent the enemy from getting flashlights or the like.

I would have preferred it if there were outposts assigned to store body armor or helmets and you could sabotage them yourself. The outer ops feels more disconnected in this game than in PW.

As for the ending, I liked the twist but the game definitely needed a final act.

There's a handful of literary allusions in the game but they mostly feel like shallow references. Miller trying to create a police state in Mother Base lost its impact when nothing actually changes on base aside from some Big Boss/Big Brother posters cluttering the walls.

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

Action Tortoise posted:

I would have preferred it if there were outposts assigned to store body armor or helmets and you could sabotage them yourself. The outer ops feels more disconnected in this game than in PW.

As for the ending, I liked the twist but the game definitely needed a final act.

There's a handful of literary allusions in the game but they mostly feel like shallow references. Miller trying to create a police state in Mother Base lost its impact when nothing actually changes on base aside from some Big Boss/Big Brother posters cluttering the walls.

there should be a second brig platform for people Miller thinks are traitors, with randomly-generated crimes attributed to them in a Dwarf Fortress carving style

Action Tortoise
Feb 18, 2012

A wolf howls.
I know how he feels.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

there should be a second brig platform for people Miller thinks are traitors, with randomly-generated crimes attributed to them in a Dwarf Fortress carving style

It'd be really lovely but have random staff thrown into the brig and accused of treason and let it update on the idroid like when you lose staff from the parasite outbreak.

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

SirPhoebos posted:

The whole Nephallim thing didn't bug me so much because it tied into the mechanic where enemies occasionally dropped orbs that let you go super-saiyan.

The thing dragging D3 down for me is that it is so bland that even after beating it with two characters I legitimately cannot remember this.

Punished Chuck
Dec 27, 2010

Literally my only complaint about MGSV is that, for a game whose sound design is perfect 99.9% of the time (seriously, it has some of the best audio direction I've ever heard except for the one thing I'm about to bitch about), unsilenced guns sound really wimpy. Sniper rifles still sound good but everything else sounds barely any louder than they do with the suppressor attached. It's a really weird oversight.

kazil
Jul 24, 2005

A fancy little mouse🐁!

One thing that drives me nuts about MGSV is when you extract a person, regardless of their stats, Miller goes "You're going to extract him?"

Could be A+ in every category, that fucker makes it sound like a chore to have him.

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

WeaponGradeSadness posted:

Literally my only complaint about MGSV is that, for a game whose sound design is perfect 99.9% of the time (seriously, it has some of the best audio direction I've ever heard except for the one thing I'm about to bitch about), unsilenced guns sound really wimpy. Sniper rifles still sound good but everything else sounds barely any louder than they do with the suppressor attached. It's a really weird oversight.
I hated this until, like, rank 5 or 6 guns. They finally sound kind of meaty but I genuinely nearly cried when I first got a sick cool revolver and it made sad farty toot noises instead of satisfying booms.

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ChaosArgate
Oct 10, 2012

Why does everyone think I'm going to get in trouble?

kazil posted:

One thing that drives me nuts about MGSV is when you extract a person, regardless of their stats, Miller goes "You're going to extract him?"

Could be A+ in every category, that fucker makes it sound like a chore to have him.

"Boss, get down! That's an enemy sniper."

"That's an enemy gunship. It's gun could cut a man in two."

Good god are the repeated tips annoying. Yes, Ocelot, I get it, I'll crawl to make sure those things can't see me. Speaking of gunships, gently caress gunships, the later stage ones are sturdy enough to withstand several volleys of rocket barrages. :argh:

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