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every dawn the modern man burrows snuggling inside the salubrious innards of his kitchens garbage to avoid the singeing rays of sunlight that poke around the tattered remains of soiled comforters he uses as curtains
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Oct 2, 2015 18:43
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the modern male trys to recreate that scene from bettlejuice where the ghosts mess their faces up to look spooky but just ends up ripping his jaw off and bleeding out
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Oct 2, 2015 18:45
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Tl dr
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Oct 2, 2015 18:53
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The modern man applies a thin layer of grease before entering the system of transportation tubes that whisks him anywhere in the thickly encrusted metropolis that covers the earth like a hollow skeleton of what used to be culture, art, domiciles, and cuisine. Now he serves our coral-based overlords who have grown an intelligent neural network over what was the modern world.
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Oct 2, 2015 19:26
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im a fag
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Oct 2, 2015 19:29
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Disillusionist posted:Evening gentlemen. The fine folks at the New York Times have compiled a list of what I like to call, Methods of the Modern Man. Behold: yeah number one isnt even true for women
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Oct 2, 2015 19:29
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it's kind of some thinly veiled advertisement with all the corporate sponsor brands in there imo why specifically 'Irish Spring' and not 'bar of soap?' Why are only coke products considered 'real' (especially compared to Pepsico products)? Because they're getting $$$ to say it, that's why.
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Oct 2, 2015 19:31
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The modern man is really impressed with Huey Lewis and the News. He can do 1000 crunches, now.
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Oct 2, 2015 19:32
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the modern man has moved on from everyday chewing gum like hubba bubba and excel and now exclusively chews prank gum while constantly salivating the black ink down his chin and onto his shoes
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Oct 2, 2015 19:35
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27 ways to be Brian Lombardi
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Oct 2, 2015 19:37
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the modern man loves chatter in places of exercise
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Oct 2, 2015 19:39
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the modern man doesnt even think about sucking dick. he just knows in his heart that he is supposed to suck. it is natural
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Oct 2, 2015 19:39
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the modern man will list things that he does and thinks every modern man should be just like him, a homogenous white mixture of stubble, tight jeans, and collared shirts.
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Oct 2, 2015 19:41
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I see the Grey Lady is cruising the Buzzfeed parking lot again for talent.
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Oct 3, 2015 01:58
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Broenheim posted:the modern man will list things that he does and thinks every modern man should be just like him, a homogenous white mixture of stubble, tight jeans, and collared shirts. hot
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Oct 3, 2015 02:02
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:the modern man eat the booty like groceries Truly all that needs to be said here
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Oct 3, 2015 02:04
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the modern man is born the modern man lives the modern man dies
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Oct 3, 2015 02:06
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the modern man is a bitch
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Oct 3, 2015 02:15
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The modern man call himself civilized cuz he know how to take over
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Oct 3, 2015 02:20
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kill all the modern man
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Oct 3, 2015 02:22
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I am the modren man
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Oct 3, 2015 02:23
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I'm gay
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Oct 3, 2015 02:27
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why would they publish something this awful?
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Oct 3, 2015 02:27
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the modern man is hilariously insecure about his masculinity
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Oct 3, 2015 03:33
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I own two metal shoehorns, and I have no idea where either of them came from.
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Oct 3, 2015 03:38
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the modern man staggers blindly down the cul-de-sac, gouts of flame dropping from his burning body
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Oct 3, 2015 03:43
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the modern man dresses up his cat real sexy, then he fucks it
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Oct 3, 2015 03:45
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Disillusionist posted:16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away. Get away to where? The closet?
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Oct 3, 2015 03:48
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the modern man still has stuff up his butt it just will not come out
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Oct 3, 2015 03:49
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the modern man has been dead for eleven days, the melon baller is still in his cold and clutching fingers
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Oct 3, 2015 03:54
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the modern man masturbates to hentai but doesn't tell anyone
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Oct 3, 2015 03:58
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the modern man squeezes his tube of COLGATE COMPLETE from the bottom up except when he forgets and even though he is sad he forgives himself and moves on
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Oct 3, 2015 04:15
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the modern man shat he pants at a IHOP
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Oct 3, 2015 04:16
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The modern man has access to more porn than any 10 of his ancestors and uses that poo poo RELIGIOUSLY.
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Oct 3, 2015 04:18
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the modern man defecates into coffee cans to keep playing his favorite MMO
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Oct 3, 2015 04:20
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We need some ylls classic pics in this thread
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Oct 3, 2015 04:22
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the modern man pisses in a plastic bottle when his wife won't get out of the shower. but don't worry, it used to be an organic white tea. And the plastic? biodegradable
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Oct 3, 2015 04:32
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the modern man voted for bush, but it's okay ... he'll still masturbate to mia khalifa
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Oct 3, 2015 04:36
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the modern man... NEANDERTH-MOM?
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Oct 3, 2015 04:40
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Disillusionist posted:16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away. Wow, that's kind of patriarchal
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Oct 3, 2015 04:44
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