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Elendil004
Mar 22, 2003

The prognosis
is not good.


I'm paying as hispania, though I've got most of francia and Italy and west Africa. Pope calls for a crusade for Greece. I forget how crusades work, declare holy war and drag 35k troops into boats and take a dutchy. Win the war, disband. Then check to see if I'm leading in the crusade...

Realize I have to join the crusade. Back into the boats men! Luckily I was able to smash the big stack and occupy the caliphs holdings quickly so I did get it all granted to me. But oops.

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Ultimate Shrek Fan
May 2, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
I created an anti-pope, conquered Rome, and yet my anti-pope isn't the real pope yet. What am I missing?

Snak
Oct 10, 2005

I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.
Grimey Drawer
Ugh. spent 100 years accomplishing nothing, finally, tried to revoke the claim of one of my vassals because my demense was not full. I had fabricated a claim, but she rebelled, I was crushing her, but she apparently had allies in the neighboring realm, and when those reenforcements arrive, they destroyed my entire army. So now I actually have less counties than I had 100 years ago.

edit: oh they weren't reinforcements, haha, they just took that opportunity to invade the contested land and take it. Awesome. gently caress you Castille.

Snak fucked around with this message at 07:33 on Oct 5, 2015

Galaga Galaxian
Apr 23, 2009

What a childish tactic!
Don't you think you should put more thought into your battleplan?!


Castille? Were you playing Leon?

Snak
Oct 10, 2005

I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.
Grimey Drawer

Galaga Galaxian posted:

Castille? Were you playing Leon?

Yes. The tiny and pathetic never changing, completely surrounded by assholes Leon.

also I don't understand how to press claims. I get an alert saying I can press a De Jure Claim, but I can't actually, the conditions aren't met. So either the alert is incorrect, or I'm even more confused than I thought.

Ultimate Shrek Fan
May 2, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

Snak posted:

Yes. The tiny and pathetic never changing, completely surrounded by assholes Leon.

also I don't understand how to press claims. I get an alert saying I can press a De Jure Claim, but I can't actually, the conditions aren't met. So either the alert is incorrect, or I'm even more confused than I thought.

You can't press a claim if the county isn't independent. You have to declare war against the count's leige, which could be too large a battle.

Galaga Galaxian
Apr 23, 2009

What a childish tactic!
Don't you think you should put more thought into your battleplan?!


Snak posted:

Yes. The tiny and pathetic never changing, completely surrounded by assholes Leon.

Let's change that.

Restart as the Kingdom of Leon.

Now, note your two neighbors. The Kingdoms of Castille and Galacia. They are ruled by Kings Sancho and Garcia respectively. They are your brothers. You have strong claims to both their Kingdoms (meaning these claims will pass down to your children). They have the same for your Kingdom.

You have no children, they have no children. Should any of the three of you die while still childless, one of the other brothers will inherit their kingdom.

Do you see where I'm going with this? :ese:

Plot to murder the King of Castille, then the King of Galacia. Should you fail to sneakily murder them before they have children, kill them anyways, then murder the child while he's weak in a regency. Try not to get caught, no one likes a Kinslayer.

Otherwise, you can launch a war for the crown.

Snak
Oct 10, 2005

I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.
Grimey Drawer
My, first goal was to try to take Galacia by force. That tiny country somehow had 3x my troops and I ended up having to surrender. That set me back economically so bad. I made a plot to assassinate someone once, got the plot power up to 77%, and then it just tricked back to zero (I think my backers died of old age?) and it's still going on but hasn't done anything for like 10 years.

I really don't know how to play this game.

I will restart and try what you suggest, that seems like a good plan.

Galaga Galaxian
Apr 23, 2009

What a childish tactic!
Don't you think you should put more thought into your battleplan?!


Alternatively you can banish yourself to Ireland Tutorial Island and try your hand as the Duke of Munster Petty King of Mumu to unite the Emerald Isle under your power. There is a decent guide here.

However the basic steps are:

  • Plot to revoke the county of your Vassal, he's a dirty foreigner, Ireland for the Irish! :ireland: (edit: didn't there use to be an :ireland:?)
  • Press your De Jure claim on Desmond/Deasmhumhain and make him your vassal.
    (you can do the above in either order, you should have enough troops to defeat either of them first)
  • Start working towards seizing the Duchy of Dublil (Dublin and Kildare/Cill Dara) via claim fabrication. (Dublin is the richest province in Ireland so you'll want to keep this one for yourself and probably move your capital there one day)
  • Gain control of 51% of Ireland by hook or crook. (claim fabrications, inviting claimants to your court and then pressing their claim, marriage/murder shenanigans, etc)
  • Form the Kingdom of Ireland
  • Demand vassalage from the rest of the counties, beat up any of them that refuse.
  • Cast your greedy gaze towards Wales, Scotland, and Mann.

Edison was a dick
Apr 3, 2010

direct current :roboluv: only

FreudianSlippers posted:

If you take Saxony the Child of the Forest rebels with twelve thousand men behind him because you burned his weirwood or some poo poo.

I think they might also still rebel even if you don't burn it because I imagine they're pretty pissed about some foreigner coming in and taking all their poo poo and telling them their gods aren't real and also chopping of the heads of several thousand people for not converting properly. Which I don't think you can actually do in the game, or at least I didn't get an event for it. Maybe they didn't feel like putting in an event for what basically amounts to ethnic cleansing.

Yeah, Widukind will always rebel against the owner of Saxony, unless you can game the system such that the Saxon wars never started. Which is possible if you are constantly at war during the valid period, or if you convert the King of Saxony to Catholicism.

Amusingly there's another way to game the Widukind events into not happening: Destroy the titles of the Kingdom of Saxony, The Duchy of Saxony, The Duchy of Brunswick and the Duchy of Holstein until both Charlemagne and Karloman are dead.

BabyFur Denny
Mar 18, 2003

Snak posted:

Ugh. spent 100 years accomplishing nothing, finally, tried to revoke the claim of one of my vassals because my demense was not full. I had fabricated a claim, but she rebelled, I was crushing her, but she apparently had allies in the neighboring realm, and when those reenforcements arrive, they destroyed my entire army. So now I actually have less counties than I had 100 years ago.

edit: oh they weren't reinforcements, haha, they just took that opportunity to invade the contested land and take it. Awesome. gently caress you Castille.

Galaga Galaxian posted:

Castille? Were you playing Leon?


Castile

Esroc
May 31, 2010

Goku would be ashamed of you.
I'm in a bit of a bind. I started an Ironman game as a Norse Buddhist (spreading enlightenment via vicious raiding!) , where my vassals adore my King and my designated heir is a downright badass Übermensch. But I've kind of hit a wall where my only CB option left is to holy war one county at a time. And I still need another 70 realm size to create an empire while my King is not long for the world, I have a billion other kids, four kingdoms under my belt (that I can't destroy), and I'm stuck in gavelkind because I switched to absolute cognatic early on not thinking about the fact that you can only change succession once per lifetime.

So if my king dies before I can get that last 70 realm I get to look forward to my kingdom cracking like an egg. I'm thinking my only option is to go full tyrant, take the opinion hit, and hope that I can gather enough counties quickly with truce-breaking for that last 70 or at least get enough to usurp the rest for the home run.

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013

---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Esroc posted:

I'm in a bit of a bind. I started an Ironman game as a Norse Buddhist (spreading enlightenment via vicious raiding!) , where my vassals adore my King and my designated heir is a downright badass Übermensch. But I've kind of hit a wall where my only CB option left is to holy war one county at a time. And I still need another 70 realm size to create an empire while my King is not long for the world, I have a billion other kids, four kingdoms under my belt (that I can't destroy), and I'm stuck in gavelkind because I switched to absolute cognatic early on not thinking about the fact that you can only change succession once per lifetime.

So if my king dies before I can get that last 70 realm I get to look forward to my kingdom cracking like an egg. I'm thinking my only option is to go full tyrant, take the opinion hit, and hope that I can gather enough counties quickly with truce-breaking for that last 70 or at least get enough to usurp the rest for the home run.

Go full tyrant, imprison all your sons but the übermensch heir, and execute them.

Galaga Galaxian
Apr 23, 2009

What a childish tactic!
Don't you think you should put more thought into your battleplan?!


Having to siege out some rear end in a top hat's county bit by bit is so annoying. Your army is crushed and your castle has fallen, you're beaten you jerk, just give up. Don't make me seige the town and church too. :argh:

Jabor
Jul 16, 2010

#1 Loser at SpaceChem
How do you have 4 kingdoms without controlling 80% of de jure scandinavia yet?

Esroc
May 31, 2010

Goku would be ashamed of you.

Jabor posted:

How do you have 4 kingdoms without controlling 80% of de jure scandinavia yet?

I started in Spain for shits and giggles. I have Castille, Leon, someplace that starts with a G, and Aragon. The rest of the country is the bits and pieces left of Barcelona and several Muslim duchies. 1066 start with the HIP custom map.

BravestOfTheLamps
Oct 12, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy
.

BravestOfTheLamps fucked around with this message at 20:11 on Aug 24, 2018

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013

---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Esroc posted:

I started in Spain for shits and giggles. I have Castille, Leon, someplace that starts with a G, and Aragon. The rest of the country is the bits and pieces left of Barcelona and several Muslim duchies. 1066 start with the HIP custom map.

Galicia.

You could try to form a custom empire. You need 8000 prestige and 3 kingdom titles, which you already have. I don't know how feasible it is to get 8000 prestige on your character though.

Dallan Invictus
Oct 11, 2007

The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes, look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

Torrannor posted:

You could try to form a custom empire. You need 8000 prestige and 3 kingdom titles, which you already have. I don't know how feasible it is to get 8000 prestige on your character though.

He needs to have the Charlemagne DLC for that though, unless HIP did something weird with that decision (which U doubt they did, mods aren't allowed to provide DLC features to people who don't own then). So if the option isn't visible that is probably why.

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013

---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Dallan Invictus posted:

He needs to have the Charlemagne DLC for that though, unless HIP did something weird with that decision (which U doubt they did, mods aren't allowed to provide DLC features to people who don't own then). So if the option isn't visible that is probably why.

He is a Norse Buddhist, how likely is it for him to miss Charlemagne when he has Rajas of India?

super fart shooter
Feb 11, 2003

-quacka fat-
Wait how do you become a Norse Buddhist? Is there a major river to the Indian Ocean I'm missing

Groogy
Jun 12, 2014

Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR
Ruler Designer or "Island Jumping" probably.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X

Torrannor posted:

Go full tyrant, imprison all your sons but the übermensch heir, and execute them.

And then watch helplessly as said heir dies of the clap 6 months later

a7m2
Jul 9, 2012


Groogy posted:

Ruler Designer or "Island Jumping" probably.

What's island jumping?

The Cheshire Cat
Jun 10, 2008

Fun Shoe

Snak posted:

My, first goal was to try to take Galacia by force. That tiny country somehow had 3x my troops and I ended up having to surrender. That set me back economically so bad. I made a plot to assassinate someone once, got the plot power up to 77%, and then it just tricked back to zero (I think my backers died of old age?) and it's still going on but hasn't done anything for like 10 years.

I really don't know how to play this game.

I will restart and try what you suggest, that seems like a good plan.

The main thing to be aware of in CK2 is that you aren't going to make a ton of gains very quickly (especially as a Catholic). The primary gameplay is about setting up plans so that your descendants will inherit territory or claims, and then carefully arranging plots or small wars to ensure those plans come to fruition. Many of them will almost certainly fail because of things beyond your control (heirs dying prematurely is a common issue), but that's why you generally try to arrange backups.

Wars are generally only the last step of the process of gaining territory - you can fabricate claims for a quick grab (which is important if you're starting off as a count or duke) but generally you want to have inherited claims lined up to press instead - they allow you to take entire duchies and kingdoms at once. Sometimes you don't even need a war if you manage to get a really good marriage (marry your heir to the first daughter of a king, have that king's sons all assassinated, presto! Now your grandson will be a king)

GenderSelectScreen
Mar 7, 2010

I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME
College Slice

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

How do I add clothes? I've tried adding stuff to Western_male, and to portrait_properties and portrait_sprites, but i'm missing some steps in between.

I don't think you can add clothes to a culture file. You can replace them, you just can't add them.

BravestOfTheLamps
Oct 12, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy
.

BravestOfTheLamps fucked around with this message at 20:12 on Aug 24, 2018

GenderSelectScreen
Mar 7, 2010

I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME
College Slice

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

Mods seem to do it fine, though?

I'm pretty sure they're making new culturegfx files. It's what I had to do to make my Inuits wear Norse clothing.

Then again, making that file was the first time I ever modded culture graphics so... :shrug:

StashAugustine
Mar 24, 2013

Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

Started a game in Poland, 867. How did they change up the way tribal reformation functions last patch? I hear you get city and temple holdings now. Also, the Magyars to the south seem able to raise way more troops than the character screen seems to show. Do nomads get bonus troops that aren't reflected in their screen?

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013

---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

StashAugustine posted:

Also, the Magyars to the south seem able to raise way more troops than the character screen seems to show. Do nomads get bonus troops that aren't reflected in their screen?

Yes. Nomad Khans will often call the other clans in their realm to aid them in the war, which will increase their troop count significantly. But they can't "raise" them like normal levies, so they don't show up in their character screen.

The Cheshire Cat
Jun 10, 2008

Fun Shoe

StashAugustine posted:

Started a game in Poland, 867. How did they change up the way tribal reformation functions last patch? I hear you get city and temple holdings now. Also, the Magyars to the south seem able to raise way more troops than the character screen seems to show. Do nomads get bonus troops that aren't reflected in their screen?

Yes when you reform as feudal it will automatically build a temple and city in all your newly feudal counties, provided there's space for them and they don't already exist.

And yeah, nomads work like tribes in that they call up their nomadic vassals as allies during wars rather than raising them directly, so you have to look at the realm tree to get a more accurate picture of their capability. If they've been giving you trouble, assassinating the current leader and then declaring war right as the new guy takes over will reduce their numbers since most of the other khans will refuse the call to war thanks to the short reign penalty.

Snak
Oct 10, 2005

I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.
Grimey Drawer
ugh.

How are you supposed to quell dangerous factions? My assassination attempt failed, one of my best vassals (who had a high opinion of me) lead a faction to put my brother on the throne, they declared war, their army was 4 times the size of mine. Haven't managed to have a son yet.

(I'm still doing the learning scenario in Leon)

Also, how do I make my horrible sister stop actively trying to ruin everything? I put her in prison, but I'm really unclear on what imprisoning people stops them from doing and what they can keep doing from prison.

edit: haha, the one ally that responded to my call to arms finally sailed all the way from Britain, but now he's besieging the county where the revolt started, rather than relieving me where I'm beseiged in my capital.

edit2: wow my uncle Nuno is an rear end in a top hat too. I gave him the landed title he asked for, and now that I'm besiedge, he is ALSO calling me a pretender and has joined the revolt.

edit: A third revolt has started. 3 different people are now fighting over the throne, which is currently occupied by a one year old since the previous king died.

This game is pretty great, I'm just so bad at it. I'm not sure it's possible to gently caress up the learning scenario worse than this.

Snak fucked around with this message at 17:49 on Oct 5, 2015

StashAugustine
Mar 24, 2013

Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

Kill/imprison any dangerous ones, make the marginal ones happy with titles, gifts, and other boosts, when the war comes try to wipe out their armies individually before they can join up.

Orcs and Ostriches
Aug 26, 2010


The Great Twist
To be honest, I think the best tutorial for the game is starting 1066 Ireland, and kinda follow along with this LP: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3559664&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1 (Look for CapnAndy's Catholic tutorial). It's unfortunately a little out of date, but the core mechanics are all there and in decent shape still.

I've passed that along to a few friends to help them get into the game, and it seemed to work for them.

Sage Grimm
Feb 18, 2013

Let's go explorin' little dude!
Most important, check their "like" number for details of what's bumming them and try to fix it.
Don't be a tyrant. If doing things are calling you for being a tyrant (unlawful imprisonment would be one of those!), don't do those.
Don't be a kinslayer.
Hand out titles to crappy land and for mere honour.
Be a loving awesome diplomat.
Don't be a one year old kid.

BravestOfTheLamps
Oct 12, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy
I try to bribe the rank and file. I check which Faction members have the highest opinion of me, and give them money, honorary titles, council seats, or even landed titles if their the vassal's de jure property. You can send your Chancellor to improve relations. At >0 they may start leaving the Faction, and I don't think they stay at >50. Ambitious characters will always be a danger.

This of course presumes that the faction isn't in revolt yet.

If you lose, you'll just become a vassal. It's humiliating, but build up your power-base, and you can start your own Faction. There's no "cool-down" period for Faction revolts.

Snak
Oct 10, 2005

I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.
Grimey Drawer
The first faction that declaired revolt had zero members, and the leader had like +40 opinion of me, but the faction strength was over 80% when it appeared. I didn't know if imprisoning the leader would do anything.

Sage Grimm posted:

Most important, check their "like" number for details of what's bumming them and try to fix it.

This is something I will try.

It's just frustraiting for like, my characters to die of old age before anything happens. Like the plot to assassinate my brother was at over 110% for like 10 years, which gave me one failed attempt and then I died.

edit: Is there any way to see the counties you control? I don't understand how my kindom is completely gone and yet my Demesne is still listed as 2/4. What does this mean?

Castille has conquered all of northern Iberia.

Snak fucked around with this message at 18:03 on Oct 5, 2015

The Cheshire Cat
Jun 10, 2008

Fun Shoe
Imprisoning people prevents them from plotting or factioning, but being in a faction is not considered a valid reason to imprison someone so you other vassals will dislike you for being a tyrant. Plotting CAN be a valid reason to imprison someone, but you have to discover the plot.

Regardless of whether you have a valid reason to imprison someone, if they have a strong army they may just flat out revolt when you try (you can boost your odds by sticking your marshal in their capital with the "suppress revolts" job), which means you've got to beat them in a war before you can imprison them anyway.

It's usually better to try to make them like you before you start tossing people in jail - sometimes they just hate you too much for anything to work, but most of the time your chancellor or a bribe/minor title can change their mind. You can also use your spymaster to go after people in factions - if they manage to discourage them, they won't be able to join ANY factions for something like 10 years. It's not super reliable though and if you have too many vassals it'll just turn into faction whack a mole.

Snak
Oct 10, 2005

I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.
Grimey Drawer

The Cheshire Cat posted:

Imprisoning people prevents them from plotting or factioning, but being in a faction is not considered a valid reason to imprison someone so you other vassals will dislike you for being a tyrant. Plotting CAN be a valid reason to imprison someone, but you have to discover the plot.

Regardless of whether you have a valid reason to imprison someone, if they have a strong army they may just flat out revolt when you try (you can boost your odds by sticking your marshal in their capital with the "suppress revolts" job), which means you've got to beat them in a war before you can imprison them anyway.

It's usually better to try to make them like you before you start tossing people in jail - sometimes they just hate you too much for anything to work, but most of the time your chancellor or a bribe/minor title can change their mind. You can also use your spymaster to go after people in factions - if they manage to discourage them, they won't be able to join ANY factions for something like 10 years. It's not super reliable though and if you have too many vassals it'll just turn into faction whack a mole.

How much does someone have to like me to stop leading a faction to depose me?

I really hate how I keep getting alerts saying that I can do things, when I can't.

is there anything to do besides fastforward/start over when you are playing a 3 year old Duke? I'm just upgrading my holdings since I can't do anything without the approval of my regent who is not a fan plots, apparently.

Snak fucked around with this message at 18:25 on Oct 5, 2015

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BravestOfTheLamps
Oct 12, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy
Endure, for revenge.

You can't plot as a child, though. And regencies are weird now. At the very least improve your Regent's opinion of you, that'll give you more freedom.

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