Ask Us About Military History: Remove Balls To Fire Blanks

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Raenir Salazar: Nov 5, 2010; College Slice

That's the Soviet Army. :catstare:

# ? Oct 5, 2015 21:27

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 05:47

Koesj: Aug 3, 2003

No... is life.

# ? Oct 5, 2015 21:47

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

JcDent posted:

I have some shakier data on a different subject: soviet party times in Afghanistan! I'm reading a book of collected memoirs, mostly of drivers for some reasons, but there's stuff from Russians others, too.
In no particular order:
-The invasion/the coup was the cluster of all fucks. Soviet airlift was a joke, and it helped extremely in that 1) the prez was waiting for Soviet aid 2) the Kabul guard thought the soviet garrison was doing practice runs (they were - for an invasion) 3) the army was lead by bumblefucks and full of cowards. One notable moment includes a VDV officer scoring an unlikely grenade throw into an open T-54 hatch and cooking off the tank - otherwise they'd be toast, since his buddy forgot to take the ammo for a GMG.
- a food and water convoy of 10 trucks and 20 dudes stumbling into an ambush meant for an ammo convoy. The driver in question had to drive two trucks. This is done by driving your truck forward, using roadside ditch to get back to an another truck, sitting down into a pool of blood on the driver seat, driving this truck a kilo further than his own truck, running back to his own truck, and so on and so forth, and that's how you do 20 kilos in 9 hours
- everyone's high on marijuana or hash all the time, because war is hell, doubly so in the Red Army
- Red Army replacements and reinforcements happen like so: they take you from your training unit and bring you to Afghanistan border. Then officers come "shopping" for replacements. Trained as a BTR-70 driver? Will do as a med truck driver. Radiomechanic? Will service planes now! Infantry commander is sad, because all the choice cuts are already taken, and he's left, again, with "Asians".
- Everyone is super racist to "Asians" (basically any sort of Soviet Socialist Republic Of -Stan folks): stupid, untrained, fit for only physical labor, etc.
- One Uzbek singer who'd get all the serving muslims as the audience did end up running away with the mudj, tho
- Afghani booze! Trouble is, Afghanis are Muslims and, as such, a little rusty at making it. So when they payrol comes, the spending procedure is this 1) Vodka and drugs 2) Is there's no vodka, technical spirit from pilots 3) If pilots don't have any technical spirit (with that fresh rubber smell), you get Afghani moonshine. Sold in plastic bags, because nobody has bottles
- Jaundice epidemics! Some guys had the good luck to "go into the mountains" already sick, but unaware. They come back yellow as lemons, and it's mostly too late at that point
- Demobilized? Might as well sleep in the field for four nights, nobody cares anymore. Then you maybe raise some clatter, flash some medals, and they give you two cargo helos to take you back to the Union. But the pilot sets down just over the border, so hitchike a Kirgizian man and wife. Seven soviet paras go into the car, the wife stays outside to wait. The rest of the trip is finished with massive drinking and probably some orgies on a train.
- Pilots in an airbase used to get paid well, so they'd used to drink and smoke a lot, and gently caress the young kitchen staff that they had. Then the command got wind of it, and all the young ladies were replaced by WOMEN over 50.
- Once, they managed to scrape together two semi-sober Frogfoot pilots for a night sorties. On return, they're sure they hit some of their own guys.
...And more!

I know the cold war thread has recommended "the Bear went over the Mountain" if you are interested in further reading.

# ? Oct 5, 2015 21:53

MikeCrotch: Nov 5, 2011; I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

Nebakenezzer posted:

I know the cold war thread has recommended "the Bear went over the Mountain" if you are interested in further reading.

I would post a cautionary about The Bear Went over the Mountain - it's not a narrative about the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, it's a translated technical document covering various infantry engagements throughout the war in very dry terms. I got about 1/4 through before realising I was not its intended audience, which is serving infantry officers or people who like to read dry technical documents for fun.

# ? Oct 5, 2015 22:09

Trin Tragula: Apr 22, 2005

100 Years Ago

In Greece, King Constantine I is rather annoyed with his prime minister for extending a red carpet to the Salonika landings, and so sacks him; meanwhile, a conference at Calais tries to work out exactly what the blokes should be doing. Sir John French annoys the gently caress out of General Foch, Louis Barthas gets kicked awake and hauled up the line to not attack for the umpteenth time, and Henri de Lecluse continues making his first impression by going off on a sight-sneering tour of a German Army cemetery.

# ? Oct 5, 2015 22:22

Empress Theonora: Feb 19, 2001; She was a sword glinting in the depths of night, a lance of light piercing the darkness. There would be no mistakes this time.

Trin Tragula posted:

100 Years Ago

In Greece, King Constantine I is rather annoyed with his prime minister for extending a red carpet to the Salonika landings, and so sacks him; meanwhile, a conference at Calais tries to work out exactly what the blokes should be doing. Sir John French annoys the gently caress out of General Foch, Louis Barthas gets kicked awake and hauled up the line to not attack for the umpteenth time, and Henri de Lecluse continues making his first impression by going off on a sight-sneering tour of a German Army cemetery.

I'm completely enamored with the idea of an officer who's super offended at how pretentious and tasteless his opponents' cemeteries are.

EDIT: What kinds of burials were soldiers who died behind enemy lines (or whose bodies were otherwise irretrievable by their own armies) get? Did their enemies' just roll them into mass graves somewhere, or did they get some semblance of proper burial?

Empress Theonora fucked around with this message at 22:38 on Oct 5, 2015

# ? Oct 5, 2015 22:36

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

Rincewind posted:

I'm completely enamored with the idea of an officer who's super offended at how pretentious and tasteless his opponents' cemeteries are.

the french are the frenchest motherfuckers on earth, jfc

# ? Oct 5, 2015 22:39

Klaus88: Jan 23, 2011; Violence has its own economy, therefore be thoughtful and precise in your investment

EX250 Type R posted:

I can't really add much to this but I spent a great deal of time in Ctesiphon / Salman Pak, Iraq. It is home to the largest free standing arch in the world:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taq_Kasra

(not my photo)

It is also the final resting place of Salman the Persian in the Mosque just a stones throw away from the Arch. The mosque also housed a very nifty torture room in 05 for local sectarian violence but that was out of (obvious at least) use in 08.

There were some WW1 looking steel pot helmets kicking around but I have no photos of them and couldn't say for sure one way or another. I spent two deployments in and around Salman Pak, the second of which I lived literally next to the Arch.

There is so much history packed into that part of the world and I didn't get much opportunity to experience it, but what I did get to see was pretty neat.

This image and post are kinda depressing as gently caress.

# ? Oct 5, 2015 22:44

Ensign Expendable: Nov 11, 2008; Lager beer is proof that god loves us; Pillbug

JcDent posted:

I have some shakier data on a different subject: soviet party times in Afghanistan! I'm reading a book of collected memoirs, mostly of drivers for some reasons, but there's stuff from Russians others, too.
In no particular order:
-The invasion/the coup was the cluster of all fucks. Soviet airlift was a joke, and it helped extremely in that 1) the prez was waiting for Soviet aid 2) the Kabul guard thought the soviet garrison was doing practice runs (they were - for an invasion) 3) the army was lead by bumblefucks and full of cowards. One notable moment includes a VDV officer scoring an unlikely grenade throw into an open T-54 hatch and cooking off the tank - otherwise they'd be toast, since his buddy forgot to take the ammo for a GMG.
- a food and water convoy of 10 trucks and 20 dudes stumbling into an ambush meant for an ammo convoy. The driver in question had to drive two trucks. This is done by driving your truck forward, using roadside ditch to get back to an another truck, sitting down into a pool of blood on the driver seat, driving this truck a kilo further than his own truck, running back to his own truck, and so on and so forth, and that's how you do 20 kilos in 9 hours
- everyone's high on marijuana or hash all the time, because war is hell, doubly so in the Red Army
- Red Army replacements and reinforcements happen like so: they take you from your training unit and bring you to Afghanistan border. Then officers come "shopping" for replacements. Trained as a BTR-70 driver? Will do as a med truck driver. Radiomechanic? Will service planes now! Infantry commander is sad, because all the choice cuts are already taken, and he's left, again, with "Asians".
- Everyone is super racist to "Asians" (basically any sort of Soviet Socialist Republic Of -Stan folks): stupid, untrained, fit for only physical labor, etc.
- One Uzbek singer who'd get all the serving muslims as the audience did end up running away with the mudj, tho
- Afghani booze! Trouble is, Afghanis are Muslims and, as such, a little rusty at making it. So when they payrol comes, the spending procedure is this 1) Vodka and drugs 2) Is there's no vodka, technical spirit from pilots 3) If pilots don't have any technical spirit (with that fresh rubber smell), you get Afghani moonshine. Sold in plastic bags, because nobody has bottles
- Jaundice epidemics! Some guys had the good luck to "go into the mountains" already sick, but unaware. They come back yellow as lemons, and it's mostly too late at that point
- Demobilized? Might as well sleep in the field for four nights, nobody cares anymore. Then you maybe raise some clatter, flash some medals, and they give you two cargo helos to take you back to the Union. But the pilot sets down just over the border, so hitchike a Kirgizian man and wife. Seven soviet paras go into the car, the wife stays outside to wait. The rest of the trip is finished with massive drinking and probably some orgies on a train.
- Pilots in an airbase used to get paid well, so they'd used to drink and smoke a lot, and gently caress the young kitchen staff that they had. Then the command got wind of it, and all the young ladies were replaced by WOMEN over 50.
- Once, they managed to scrape together two semi-sober Frogfoot pilots for a night sorties. On return, they're sure they hit some of their own guys.
...And more!

Sounds about right, except that the Red Army stopped existing in 1946.

# ? Oct 5, 2015 23:07

Trin Tragula: Apr 22, 2005

Rincewind posted:

I'm completely enamored with the idea of an officer who's super offended at how pretentious and tasteless his opponents' cemeteries are.

EDIT: What kinds of burials were soldiers who died behind enemy lines (or whose bodies were otherwise irretrievable by their own armies) get? Did their enemies' just roll them into mass graves somewhere, or did they get some semblance of proper burial?

Depends entirely on who found the corpse and what else happened to be going on at the time. There are lots of lovely heart-warming stories about how one side buried the dead of the other with their own graves, told their captured mates where it was, and informed the families via the Red Cross. There are plenty of other occasions, often with the details carefully elided, where everyone got chucked in a pit or on a bonfire, or was just scraped into the wall of a trench, pausing only to riffle the pockets for valuables and check the quality of the boots; and they were all so hosed up anyway that the only way to know who you had was by whether the odd coin in his pocket was a ha'penny, a sou, or a pfennig.

# ? Oct 5, 2015 23:19

Deteriorata: Feb 6, 2005

Trin Tragula posted:

Depends entirely on who found the corpse and what else happened to be going on at the time. There are lots of lovely heart-warming stories about how one side buried the dead of the other with their own graves, told their captured mates where it was, and informed the families via the Red Cross. There are plenty of other occasions, often with the details carefully elided, where everyone got chucked in a pit or on a bonfire, or was just scraped into the wall of a trench, pausing only to riffle the pockets for valuables and check the quality of the boots; and they were all so hosed up anyway that the only way to know who you had was by whether the odd coin in his pocket was a ha'penny, a sou, or a pfennig.

A burial detail story from my grandfather (the one who served in the Canadian army):

quote:

One night his platoon was ordered to fall out and count off by twos. He was a �two.� His tent mate was a �one.� The �ones� were ordered off to spend the night on a burial detail. Near dawn his tent mate returned to described what he called the worst night of his life. A nearby platoon took a direct hit from artillery. Burying them meant gathering enough body parts to add up and getting them underground in the mud.

The next night they were ordered to fall out again. The officer said that the �ones� hadn�t done a decent job of burying bodies the night before. Rain was exposing them. They would have to dig up the bodies and bury them deeper. Dad�s tent mate said he was now glad that he had been a �one.� This night�s work would be far worse. Just as Dad was about to march off, the officer returned. He said that the �twos� couldn�t do the job. Only the �ones� knew where the bodies were buried. They would have to go out a second time.

# ? Oct 5, 2015 23:29

kongurous: May 22, 2010

Ensign Expendable posted:

Sounds about right, except that the Red Army stopped existing in 1946.

Or maybe it's a commonly known and widely used general term for the army of the Soviet Union and constitutes no particular ignorance on the part of the poster.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 02:04

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

kongurous posted:

Or maybe it's a commonly known and widely used general term for the army of the Soviet Union and constitutes no particular ignorance on the part of the poster.

I don't see where Ensign implied it did.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 02:18

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

pedantic fagots in the mil history thread? why I never

# ? Oct 6, 2015 02:21

Agean90: Jun 28, 2008

i konkur

# ? Oct 6, 2015 02:22

ArchangeI: Jul 15, 2010

Agean90 posted:

i konkurs

FTFY

That backfire'd, didn't it

# ? Oct 6, 2015 02:46

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; Against All Tyrants; Ultra Carp

ArchangeI posted:

FTFY

That backfire'd, didn't it

I'm gonna flogger you for that

# ? Oct 6, 2015 02:53

Ensign Expendable: Nov 11, 2008; Lager beer is proof that god loves us; Pillbug

ArchangeI posted:

FTFY

That backfire'd, didn't it

Don't put your frogfoot in your mouth.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 02:56

P-Mack: Nov 10, 2007

Thanks to everyone who chimed in with map help. One problem with using google maps is that a lot of areas don't look like they did in 1856- the lakes are smaller, the rivers are in different places, and there are buildings covering everything.

Ortelius seems like exactly what I was looking for but it's Mac only.

I guess I'll try Inkscape. I also want to be able to make a chart sort of like this in terms of general style.

Arrows representing various rebellions would get thicker as they waxed in strength. The idea would be to show where various rebel groups split off from or joined each other and generally give a way for a reader to at a glance estimate how hosed the empire was at any given moment in time. Basically a timeline but with a little more nuance and pizzazz.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 03:02

xthetenth: Dec 30, 2012; Mario wasn't sure if this Jeb guy was a good influence on Yoshi.

P-Mack posted:

Thanks to everyone who chimed in with map help. One problem with using google maps is that a lot of areas don't look like they did in 1856- the lakes are smaller, the rivers are in different places, and there are buildings covering everything.

Ortelius seems like exactly what I was looking for but it's Mac only.

I guess I'll try Inkscape. I also want to be able to make a chart sort of like this in terms of general style.

Arrows representing various rebellions would get thicker as they waxed in strength. The idea would be to show where various rebel groups split off from or joined each other and generally give a way for a reader to at a glance estimate how hosed the empire was at any given moment in time. Basically a timeline but with a little more nuance and pizzazz.

So basically the Napoleon into Russia chart for the Taiping rebellion?

# ? Oct 6, 2015 03:11

P-Mack: Nov 10, 2007

xthetenth posted:

So basically the Napoleon into Russia chart for the Taiping rebellion?

Exactly! I didn't want to use that example for fear of putting on airs.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 03:45

JcDent: May 13, 2013; Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!

I did read some of The Bear Went Over The Mountain. I remember how Soviet ambush groups were really ad hoc (as in, Soviet Officer Rank Ivan is told to do an ambush, he basically grabs any guy he can, and they fly off). The author criticized the fact that soviets left cigarette butts at their campsite one time or that one other time called the enemy to surrender even though it wasn't a prisoner taking mission.

Some more fun times:
- Diver guy (one of them, anyways) spends two months in a siege-ish situation. They drive into a vineyard and the mudj open sluices, mudding the road up, and everyone gets stuck. Previously, the loyal Afghani outposts in the area had all been slaughtered, mutilated bodies everywhere. Muslim de-mining group takes a week to clean everything up because they need to pray before disarming any corpse (and each one is mined)
- People in the siege got New Year (Yo, Christmas is totally opiate for the masses celebration, so here's an alterate celebration for good communists with blue Father Frost and sexy Sniegurachka)) gifts (coke, candy, biscuits) there. The main guy got to get out of there twice.
- During the siege, his Ukrainian buddy got hit. He hears something to the tune "car got exploded" over the radio, and only finds a leg once back
- Early in the siege, they found a piece of unexploded American ordinance with nails and poo poo strapped to it. He and his friend poke and prod it, and go "gently caress it". Later on, a sapper group arrives by truck. Everyone is exchanging helos and poo poo when an explosion throws them all on the ground. Turns out one of the new guys moved the American bomb. And it had an AT mine underneath it. Only a torso left behind from that guy, and only because he had body armor on. Some guys got wounded by shrapnel (one with about 300 bits in his back), the truck was absolutely hosed up, and everyone had trouble hearing for a week.

- One other guy was a VDV cook. One time, a VDV convoy is driving in a long collumn when they're ordered to stop. Apparently the first BMD drove on a mine, everyone's dead. They later found a bit of jaw with gold teeth, from an Uzbeki who had all-gold teeth and was called "Gold-mouth".

# ? Oct 6, 2015 05:41

Squalid: Nov 4, 2008

P-Mack posted:

Thanks to everyone who chimed in with map help. One problem with using google maps is that a lot of areas don't look like they did in 1856- the lakes are smaller, the rivers are in different places, and there are buildings covering everything.

Ortelius seems like exactly what I was looking for but it's Mac only.

I guess I'll try Inkscape. I also want to be able to make a chart sort of like this in terms of general style.

Arrows representing various rebellions would get thicker as they waxed in strength. The idea would be to show where various rebel groups split off from or joined each other and generally give a way for a reader to at a glance estimate how hosed the empire was at any given moment in time. Basically a timeline but with a little more nuance and pizzazz.

qgis is another good free GIS, which works on microsoft. You could use the shapfiles here which map rivers and villages and provinces in 1820

# ? Oct 6, 2015 05:45

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Trin Tragula posted:

Depends entirely on who found the corpse and what else happened to be going on at the time. There are lots of lovely heart-warming stories about how one side buried the dead of the other with their own graves, told their captured mates where it was, and informed the families via the Red Cross. There are plenty of other occasions, often with the details carefully elided, where everyone got chucked in a pit or on a bonfire, or was just scraped into the wall of a trench, pausing only to riffle the pockets for valuables and check the quality of the boots; and they were all so hosed up anyway that the only way to know who you had was by whether the odd coin in his pocket was a ha'penny, a sou, or a pfennig.

But what if he has a handful of stolen change in his pockets? Dude gets blasted and they find him with eight francs, seventeen pfennigs, and two shilling, he gets the yearly state wreath on the ol' tomb?

# ? Oct 6, 2015 06:39

Klaus88: Jan 23, 2011; Violence has its own economy, therefore be thoughtful and precise in your investment

JcDent posted:

I did read some of The Bear Went Over The Mountain. I remember how Soviet ambush groups were really ad hoc (as in, Soviet Officer Rank Ivan is told to do an ambush, he basically grabs any guy he can, and they fly off). The author criticized the fact that soviets left cigarette butts at their campsite one time or that one other time called the enemy to surrender even though it wasn't a prisoner taking mission.

Some more fun times:
- Diver guy (one of them, anyways) spends two months in a siege-ish situation. They drive into a vineyard and the mudj open sluices, mudding the road up, and everyone gets stuck. Previously, the loyal Afghani outposts in the area had all been slaughtered, mutilated bodies everywhere. Muslim de-mining group takes a week to clean everything up because they need to pray before disarming any corpse (and each one is mined)
- People in the siege got New Year (Yo, Christmas is totally opiate for the masses celebration, so here's an alterate celebration for good communists with blue Father Frost and sexy Sniegurachka)) gifts (coke, candy, biscuits) there. The main guy got to get out of there twice.
- During the siege, his Ukrainian buddy got hit. He hears something to the tune "car got exploded" over the radio, and only finds a leg once back
- Early in the siege, they found a piece of unexploded American ordinance with nails and poo poo strapped to it. He and his friend poke and prod it, and go "gently caress it". Later on, a sapper group arrives by truck. Everyone is exchanging helos and poo poo when an explosion throws them all on the ground. Turns out one of the new guys moved the American bomb. And it had an AT mine underneath it. Only a torso left behind from that guy, and only because he had body armor on. Some guys got wounded by shrapnel (one with about 300 bits in his back), the truck was absolutely hosed up, and everyone had trouble hearing for a week.

- One other guy was a VDV cook. One time, a VDV convoy is driving in a long collumn when they're ordered to stop. Apparently the first BMD drove on a mine, everyone's dead. They later found a bit of jaw with gold teeth, from an Uzbeki who had all-gold teeth and was called "Gold-mouth".

Its terrifying that people can read these sorts of stories and still think War is a glorious and honorable activity. :stonk:

Not accusing you of doing that, by the by.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 14:10

JcDent: May 13, 2013; Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!

Klaus88 posted:

Its terrifying that people can read these sorts of stories and still think War is a glorious and honorable activity.

Not accusing you of doing that, by the by.

You can, I can't for sure say that I don't.

I can't imagine how people can keep saying "military precision", tho.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 14:22

Trin Tragula: Apr 22, 2005

JcDent posted:

You can, I can't for sure say that I don't.

I can't imagine how people can keep saying "military precision", tho.

The intended image is surely one of precision drilling, not precision killing.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 15:03

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

Ensign Expendable posted:

Don't put your frogfoot in your mouth.

Shut up already, you bunch of fagots!

P.s. Sorry for being rude, it was a refleks. This thread is a bastion for first grad discussions and we don't want it to spiral out of hand.

Nenonen fucked around with this message at 15:17 on Oct 6, 2015

# ? Oct 6, 2015 15:10

Koesj: Aug 3, 2003

Nenonen posted:

Sorry for being rude, it was a refleks. This thread is a bastion for first grad discussions and we don't want it to spiral out of hand.

Buk up, you don't have to shoot yourself down over it mh?

# ? Oct 6, 2015 15:28

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

FAUXTON posted:

But what if he has a handful of stolen change in his pockets? Dude gets blasted and they find him with eight francs, seventeen pfennigs, and two shilling, he gets the yearly state wreath on the ol' tomb?

In one of Barthas's anecdotes, a French soldier is out in no man's land, stealing watches from dead men, when he gets wounded by a sniper. The colonel comes by and asks what he was doing out in no man's land, and a quick thinking sarge says, "uh, scouting, sir!" And so the guy gets a medal for looting the dead.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 15:36

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

Kind of scary we're suddenly talking about the Soviet disaster in Afghanistan, as I started watching this documentary just before JCDent posted.

Kind of not safe for work, an ambush survivor has a nasty wound he shows to the camera.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 16:03

Trin Tragula: Apr 22, 2005

sullat posted:

In one of Barthas's anecdotes, a French soldier is out in no man's land, stealing watches from dead men, when he gets wounded by a sniper. The colonel comes by and asks what he was doing out in no man's land, and a quick thinking sarge says, "uh, scouting, sir!" And so the guy gets a medal for looting the dead.

Oh hey, I just now finished sorting out the tale of Corporal Cathala.

quote:

One morning Corporal Cathala, of our company, out in the open on such a mission, was hit by a bullet which wounded him gravely in the thigh, leading to a subsequent amputation. He dragged himself back to the trench, where they staunched his wound. He was lying on ground soaked in his own blood. All of a sudden, here was General Niessel, whom we saw often in the trenches at daybreak�when all was calm.

�Ah!,� said the general, �Where was this corporal wounded?�
We couldn�t tell him that he had been pilfering the pockets of dead men. So we said it was at an observation post.
�Find me the captain! Are you satisfied with this soldier�s conduct?� he asked our Captain Cros-Mayrevielle, who had quickly appeared on the scene.
�Yes, very satisfied,� stammered our captain.
�Very well. He will be commended, and will get the Croix de Guerre and the M�daille Militaire.�

And that�s how Corporal Cathala became a hero.

A one-legged hero at that. No more working parties for him! And if he ever has to buy a bottle of vin rooge for himself again when he goes home, I'll be shocked.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 16:40

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

heironymous sebastian schutze looks down from wherever my dudes go when they die, nods slightly

# ? Oct 6, 2015 16:43

ponzicar: Mar 17, 2008

HEY GAL posted:

heironymous sebastian schutze looks ~~down~~ up from wherever my dudes go when they die, nods slightly

I think this is more likely.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 17:12

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

So today Wolff Rudolf von Ossa zu Dehla wrote that the Sulz Regiment is "such a beautiful regiment that it would be a shame if [for want of pay] they all walked out or, for lack of support, had to live by excesses or destroying the land."

I wonder what makes a regiment beautiful? The members of the Sulz Regiment are experienced, that's probably part of it. (In fact, I would not be surprised if some of them were ex-Mansfelders.) But it seems like Sulz and Ossa have a stronger emotional connection to the Sulz People than Mansfeld did to his People--although not his subordinate officers, who brought everyone they could back up through Switzerland at their own expense.

HEY GUNS fucked around with this message at 18:40 on Oct 6, 2015

# ? Oct 6, 2015 18:37

P-Mack: Nov 10, 2007

HEY GAL posted:

I wonder what makes a regiment beautiful?

Well turned calves, duh.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 19:16

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

P-Mack posted:

Well turned calves, duh.

i wonder how much of that calves thing is that they're the only part of the male anatomy besides his hands and face you can see on a guy wearing 17th century clothing. I think it's Samuel Pepys who describes an incident where a friend of his put both of his legs through one leg of his petticoat breeches, and they were so wide he went the entire day without realizing he'd done it

HEY GUNS fucked around with this message at 20:14 on Oct 6, 2015

# ? Oct 6, 2015 19:20

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

HEY GAL posted:

I wonder what makes a regiment beautiful?

Breeches that make a butt don't quit.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:07

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

SeanBeansShako posted:

Breeches that make a butt don't quit.

that's your dudes, nobody can see my dudes' butts under the MILES OF FABRIC

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:11

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 05:47

Trin Tragula: Apr 22, 2005

Everyone knows that puttees are the real best way of displaying the lower leg in all weathers bahahahaha no I can't even do that as a joke they're the most ridiculous thing

100 Years Ago

The rolling barrage rolls into town on a wide scale for the first time, and for a brief moment it looks as though maybe that German reserve line in Champagne isn't as impenetrable as it seemed. Sadly, reality soon re-asserts itself, for reasons that Captain Henri de Lecluse is ideally-placed to tell us about; hopefully he goes some way to rehabilitating the reputation of some French officers after we've spent a year in the trenches with Louis Barthas. "Not a self-centred inveterate coward" may well be a low bar, but he and Commandant Delaire have certainly cleared it.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:16

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Ask Us About Military History: Remove Balls To Fire Blanks

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