TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

skaboomizzy: Nov 12, 2003; There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

Full Battle Rattle posted:

If this is gonna be a thing then maybe anti-terror tactics should be an elective

3 hrs., what's probably gonna happen if you rush a shooter (prob. gonna get shot), how to do it anyway if you don't care about the first part. Reacting calmly if you're not in the middle of the attack, complying with law enforcement, etc.

At my last job I had to watch a 20 minute "training" video on what to do in an active shooter situation.

My workplace was an office building that dealt with medical records and billing.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 18:38

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# ? May 29, 2024 13:11

Dolash: Oct 23, 2008; aNYWAY,
tHAT'S REALLY ALL THERE IS,
tO REPORT ON THE SUBJECT,
oF ME GETTING HURT,

Humans Among Us posted:

They are also just freaking children attending school. It's amazingly stupid.

Someone should've asked him if his common-sense "Hey guys, let's just rush him!" solution would've worked at Sandy Hook. Maybe only [I]fifteen[I] of those kids would've been murdered if they had the guts to swamp the shooter! Everything in that article sounded pretty stupid, it's par for the course for gun advocates to accuse Obama of 'politicizing' a shooting as soon as he opens his mouth but saying he shouldn't call them or visit is a whole new level.

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Carly responds to the not give paycheck to wife of dead guy story

Silence on Planned parenthood ties

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/was-carly-fiorina-slow-to-pay-staff-on-her-senate-campaign/

Those are really weak answers, and if Fiorina sticks around they'll just encourage people to go after her on those issues more.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 18:48

Venom Snake: Feb 19, 2014; by Nyc_Tattoo

Fellatio del Toro posted:

Also, attacks shooting victims for being pussies:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nb6cSEI1FLk

# ? Oct 6, 2015 18:58

Noctis Horrendae: Nov 1, 2013

Squizzle posted:

American English (at least,my variety of it) uses /ɛ/ (head, said, bed) for the orthographic "e", whereas Spanish (or the variety I'm most familiar with) uses /e/ for it. In my English, /e/ sounds pretty close to a long "a" (raise, date).

Oh, you were using some sort of quasi-IPA.

Wow, this thread moves fast.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 19:18

my bony fealty: Oct 1, 2008

Ben Carson is the doctor from HP Lovecraft's "Cool Air"

# ? Oct 6, 2015 19:24

Abner Cadaver II: Apr 21, 2009; TONIGHT!

Noctis Horrendae posted:

Oh, you were using some sort of quasi-IPA.

Wow, this thread moves fast.

ugh I hate quasi-IPAs. fuckin hopheads

# ? Oct 6, 2015 19:27

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

Toph Bei Fong posted:

I've heard Ben Carson described as the guy playing the president that gets rescued from the terrorists by Schwarzenegger, so this checks out.

"You can't shoot me, I'm the President of the United States!"
"I don't intend to shoot you, Mr. President. I intend to hold you hostage until the Vice President gets here with the nuclear codes. You're going to see the entire Midwest lit up like the sun once Mr. Cruz arrives."
"What? No, Ted was on our side. He's a good guy!"
"Haha! No, Theodore was my most loyal disciple from the beginning. He wants to bring about the apocalypse just as bad as I do."
"You'll never get away with this, Darth Obama bin Clinton. Not once Agent X gets word of your plot!"
"Agent X is not a problem any more, Mr. President. Just like you, he'll be taking a nice long nap. But his is, shall we say, a little more permanent..."
*The strain of being upright and speaking for so long has begun to take its toll, Carson's eyes begin to close*

# ? Oct 6, 2015 19:27

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

zen death robot posted:

If enough people charge at the shooter then he wont have enough bullets to shoot them all

We need to introduce legislation to make punks feel luckier.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 19:35

Patter Song: Mar 26, 2010; Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.; Fun Shoe

So, The Club For Growth has launched its most insidious anti-Trump attack yet: "The Club For Growth Poll of Iowa."

Carson 21
Trump 16
Rubio 11
Bush/Fiorina 10
Cruz 5
Huckabee 3
Kasich 2
Christie/Paul/Santorum 1

In case you're wondering, the Club For Growth Poll is not credible.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 19:37

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

The Club for Hair Growth

# ? Oct 6, 2015 19:40

StevePerry: Sep 5, 2003; don't stop believin

Patter Song posted:

In case you're wondering, the Club For Growth Poll is not credible.

The lead dude from that place, Chris Chocula or something, is a huge huge huge Bush family supporter.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 19:48

Peztopiary: Mar 16, 2009; by exmarx

Dolash posted:

Someone should've asked him if his common-sense "Hey guys, let's just rush him!" solution would've worked at Sandy Hook. Maybe only [I]fifteen[I] of those kids would've been murdered if they had the guts to swamp the shooter!

About that...
The Right is past parody.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 19:49

Ron Paul Atreides: Apr 19, 2012; Uyghurs situation in Xinjiang? Just a police action, do not fret. Not ongoing genocide like in EVIL Canada.

I am definitely not a tankie.

Peztopiary posted:

About that...
The Right is past parody.

libertarian, natch

# ? Oct 6, 2015 19:55

Nuclearmonkee: Jun 10, 2009

Ron Paul Atreides posted:

libertarian, natch

They should do this then I am practically guaranteed to escape to safety while everyone else runs into a hail of gunfire.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:00

Shark Sandwich: Sep 6, 2010; by R. Guyovich

if libertarians aren't trying to make children work or put them in kiddie porn they're trying to get them killed by gunmen. why do they hate children so much?

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:10

SHY NUDIST GRRL: Feb 15, 2011; Communism will help more white people than anyone else. Any equal measures unfairly provide less to minority populations just because there's less of them. Democracy is truly the tyranny of the mob.

Children are useless parasites

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:14

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Compensating for the helplessness they felt as children. If all children are destroyed, then maybe they'll forget being small and weak.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:16

ate shit on live tv: Feb 15, 2004; by Azathoth

TheTatteredKing posted:

Children are useless parasites

Children are short-term losers, hyper-capitalists care about the next quarter. What is a child going to do for them within 3months?

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:16

The X-man cometh: Nov 1, 2009

Human wave attacks worked for ultra-conservative radicals in the Iran-Iraq war.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:21

Bear Retrieval Unit: Nov 5, 2009; Mudslide Experiment

"You try that poo poo with me, pull a gun out on the lane, I'll take it away from you shove it up your rear end and pull the trigger until it goes *click*"

-Ben Carson

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:34

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

Human wave attacks seem REALLY collectivist/anti-American.

Arm everyone. That's the American way.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:36

Shark Sandwich: Sep 6, 2010; by R. Guyovich

Fully privatize the army. If you don't want to get your school shot up then just buy a mechanized infantry brigade

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:37

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

Thankfully Trump is packing heat:

El Chapo Bounty On Donald Trump? $100M Reward Reportedly Offered By Mexican Fugitive For Candidate's Head

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:42

StevePerry: Sep 5, 2003; don't stop believin

Don't touch our Trump.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:50

Miltank: Dec 27, 2009; by XyloJW

The assassination of a presidential candidate would at least get the public interested in the warzone levels of violence south of the border.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:53

Toph Bei Fong: Feb 29, 2008

Mark Twain understood why no one rushes the shooter back a hundred plus years ago... No one wants to get shot first.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn posted:

They swarmed up in front of Sherburn's palings as thick as they could jam together, and you couldn't hear yourself think for the noise. It was a little twenty-foot yard. Some sung out "Tear down the fence! tear down the fence!" Then there was a racket of ripping and tearing and smashing, and down she goes, and the front wall of the crowd begins to roll in like a wave.

Just then Sherburn steps out on to the roof of his little front porch, with a double-barrel gun in his hand, and takes his stand, perfectly ca'm and deliberate, not saying a word. The racket stopped, and the wave sucked back.

Sherburn never said a word�just stood there, looking down. The stillness was awful creepy and uncomfortable. Sherburn run his eye slow along the crowd; and wherever it struck the people tried a little to out-gaze him, but they couldn't; they dropped their eyes and looked sneaky. Then pretty soon Sherburn sort of laughed; not the pleasant kind, but the kind that makes you feel like when you are eating bread that's got sand in it.

Then he says, slow and scornful:

"The idea of you lynching anybody! It's amusing. The idea of you thinking you had pluck enough to lynch a man! Because you're brave enough to tar and feather poor friendless cast-out women that come along here, did that make you think you had grit enough to lay your hands on a man? Why, a man's safe in the hands of ten thousand of your kind�as long as it's daytime and you're not behind him.

"Do I know you? I know you clear through. I was born and raised in the South, and I've lived in the North; so I know the average all around. The average man's a coward. In the North he lets anybody walk over him that wants to, and goes home and prays for a humble spirit to bear it. In the South one man all by himself, has stopped a stage full of men in the daytime, and robbed the lot. Your newspapers call you a brave people so much that you think you are braver than any other people�whereas you're just as brave, and no braver. Why don't your juries hang murderers? Because they're afraid the man's friends will shoot them in the back, in the dark�and it's just what they would do.

"So they always acquit; and then a man goes in the night, with a hundred masked cowards at his back and lynches the rascal. Your mistake is, that you didn't bring a man with you; that's one mistake, and the other is that you didn't come in the dark and fetch your masks. You brought part of a man�Buck Harkness, there�and if you hadn't had him to start you, you'd a taken it out in blowing.

"You didn't want to come. The average man don't like trouble and danger. You don't like trouble and danger. But if only half a man�like Buck Harkness, there�shouts 'Lynch him! lynch him!' you're afraid to back down�afraid you'll be found out to be what you are�cowards�and so you raise a yell, and hang yourselves on to that half-a-man's coat-tail, and come raging up here, swearing what big things you're going to do. The pitifulest thing out is a mob; that's what an army is�a mob; they don't fight with courage that's born in them, but with courage that's borrowed from their mass, and from their officers. But a mob without any man at the head of it is beneath pitifulness. Now the thing for you to do is to droop your tails and go home and crawl in a hole. If any real lynching's going to be done it will be done in the dark, Southern fashion; and when they come they'll bring their masks, and fetch a man along. Now leave�and take your half-a-man with you"�tossing his gun up across his left arm and cocking it when he says this.

The crowd washed back sudden, and then broke all apart, and went tearing off every which way, and Buck Harkness he heeled it after them, looking tolerable cheap. I could a stayed if I wanted to, but I didn't want to.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 20:58

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

If trump is assassinated, prep for race war.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:01

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

Baloogan posted:

If trump is assassinated, prep for race war.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:10

The Nastier Nate: May 22, 2005; All aboard the corona bus!

HONK! HONK!; Yams Fan

Baloogan posted:

If trump is assassinated, prep for race war.

Donald Trump: Businessman, reality TV star, presidential candidate....martyr

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:11

ate shit on live tv: Feb 15, 2004; by Azathoth

Miltank posted:

The assassination of a presidential candidate would at least get the public interested in the warzone levels of violence south of the border.

Just as long as The Right Candidate gets assassinated *touches left-side of nose with right hand index finger while making eye-contact with you*

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:14

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

New from PPP:
http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2015/PPP_Release_NationalGOP_100615.pdf

Trump 27%(-2),
Ben Carson 17%(+2)
Rubio 13% (+6)
Bush 10% (+1)
Cruz 7%, (+1)
Fiorina 6% (-2)
Huckabee 4% (-1)
Kasich 4% (-2)
Christie 2% (_)
Paul 2% (+1)
Santorum 2%, (_)

Everyone else is at 1 or less.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:22

magiccarpet: Jan 3, 2005

http://gawker.com/ben-carson-wouldnt-meet-ucc-shooting-victims-families-t-1735027922

He'll just go 'to the next one.'

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:24

Patter Song: Mar 26, 2010; Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.; Fun Shoe

Oh gently caress. Dick Morris just said that Bush is done. That's it, prepare for President Jeb!

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:39

Mr. Pumroy: May 20, 2001

magiccarpet posted:

http://gawker.com/ben-carson-wouldnt-meet-ucc-shooting-victims-families-t-1735027922

He'll just go 'to the next one.'

i say the same thing when a band i know is touring nearby

or if a movie i want to see is sold out

or if i miss a weekend dungeons and dragons sesh with the bros

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:43

fool of sound: Oct 10, 2012

Patter Song posted:

Oh gently caress. Dick Morris just said that Bush is done. That's it, prepare for President Jeb!

Wait there's still hope: what does Bill Kristol think?

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:46

i say swears online: Mar 4, 2005

magiccarpet posted:

http://gawker.com/ben-carson-wouldnt-meet-ucc-shooting-victims-families-t-1735027922

He'll just go 'to the next one.'

haha goddamn

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:46

Mr. Pumroy: May 20, 2001

i silently mouthed 'the next one' then i laughed because the alternative was screaming

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:47

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

Is Carson being a dope about this going to hurt him? Please say yes.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:49

Nuclearmonkee: Jun 10, 2009

Jewel Repetition posted:

Is Carson being a dope about this going to hurt him? Please say yes.

After what this primary season has been thus far, I believe I can confidently say "Who loving knows?"

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:50

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# ? May 29, 2024 13:11

stephenfry: Nov 3, 2009; I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.

Yeah, I'd bet on rubio for GOP ticket if Bernie didn't already have all my money

magiccarpet posted:

http://gawker.com/ben-carson-wouldnt-meet-ucc-shooting-victims-families-t-1735027922

He'll just go 'to the next one.'

don't make us visit loving gawker or any of their garbage subsidiaries, excerpt the piece here or donotlink it

Jewel Repetition posted:

Is Carson being a dope about this going to hurt him? Please say yes.

no, the base republicans are like calvinists/racist gypsy caricatures -- they think any victims must have deserved it. At least, that's what Trump's lead has me concluding. The more confrontational and "politically incorrect" a candidate is, the better.

stephenfry fucked around with this message at 22:01 on Oct 6, 2015

# ? Oct 6, 2015 21:58

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