Mary's GoFundMe page posted:

As the saying goes, life happens while you’re busy making other plans. I’ve always been one for planning, but after all my years of dreaming and scheming, at the age of 31 I have nothing to show for any of it but doubt, debt, and disappointment.

Maybe it’s a fear of commitment, a fear of failure, or a fear of losing my safety net. Whatever it is, there’s a reason most of my plans have never succeeded: I’ve always been too scared to act. Instead, I have kept letting things happen and kept taking the path of least resistance.

In the weeks leading up to my move to Oregon, I repeatedly caught myself talking about the change, both to myself and others, as though I needed to convince someone that it was the right choice. It’s not easy to make such a big change, to leave a potentially great career, a stable job, a comfortable home. It needed to be done, because I was not happy and would have remained unhappy had I stayed, but that made it no less terrifying.

A few years ago I was sitting in the office of a small-town, Illinois, municipal and real estate law firm. I had just been offered a summer assistantship which would likely lead to a job after I graduated with my JD. I was looking out the window, admiring the tiny but scenic town, and thinking of my boyfriend, of what could be our future. And my palms were clammy. Not because I was nervous, but because I was terrified. This was not the life I wanted. I did not want to live in small-town Illinois, working in an office pushing papers for the rest of my life. I did not want to marry my boyfriend, and I certainly did not want to be the step-mother to his two young children whom I had yet to meet.

I left law school shortly after receiving–and eventually declining–the offer. I did not want to be a lawyer. I wanted to do something else; I didn’t know quite what that something was, but I knew I would figure it out eventually. I moved back home with my dad for about a month before taking a job with an old friend in California. Not a career, just something to do while I figured out my life. That fall I attended a local video game convention and met my latest boyfriend, who eventually helped me get a job in QA for a major game company. I’ve spent the last year playing video games, thinking that it could be a fun career, but all the while sinking deeper and deeper into despair, knowing my life was not going the way I’d hoped, and that I still hadn’t figured it out.

Finally, a few months ago, I stumbled across what could be my saving grace: Germany. School in Germany, to be precise. In case you aren’t aware, the public universities in Germany are tuition-free for everyone, including foreigners. For years I’ve dreamed of being an astrophysicist, but knew that doing so was virtually impossible with the cost of education in the US being what it is. I already have a Bachelor of Arts (a pretty useless one, at that, unless you’re planning to be a lawyer) and piles of debt, so going back to school for a proper education in Physics seemed out of the question, and I had resigned myself to the fact that I had to do something else. Well, now I don’t. I can start over, go back to school, and do what I really want to do.

After a whole lot of soul searching, I decided to act on it. I quit my video game job. I moved in with my mom in Oregon and found something here that will allow me to save enough to get to Germany in about a year.

I’m back to my planning and dreaming, and this time, I’m ready to act, even if it is scary sometimes.

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So why the GoFundMe page?

As I mentioned above, I should be able to save enough to get to Germany in a year. But the key word there is should. If anything goes wrong, if the exchange rate changes drastically, if something ends up costing more than expected, I don't have any wiggle room. I'd also really like to travel a bit before settling in for school. So I hope to save or raise enough above my minimum as possible. While I should be fine on my own, any extra help you can offer will go a long way to helping me realize my dreams!

Thank you!